This is going to sound really stupid now, but originally I began this story because I was reading down the list of my fanfictions and I realised I didn't have a title beginning with 'E'. Which for some reason, irritated me. Don't worry about it too much...
It's just a bit of fun really, dedicated to all of the wonderful Scott&Bailey kids from Twitter who I spent a ridiculous amount of time fangirling with;')
E – Every Moment with You
"Morning," Gill murmured as Rachel burst into her office.
The young DC gave her boss a nod in reply, trying to catch her breath. Her black trousers were splattered with mud, as though she'd run along a country lane in the pouring rain. Or perhaps through Manchester.
"And how are you this fine sunny day, Sherlock? Had your Eureka! moment yet?" she slid her glasses from her nose and folded them, trying to keep the smirk from her lips, "Oh no, hang on, that was someone else, wasn't it?"
"Come on, enlighten me; what're you excited about? I've got a billion and one other things I should be doing right now. Whoever said that was a genius, actually, weren't they? I could live my entire life just quoting other people."
"Ma'am, there's loads of girls in reception."
Rachel shook her head, leaning back against the filing cabinet, "It's not like a hen party or anything. They're not even pissed, I don't think. One of them keeps asking for you; she says there's something they need your help with, something about a missing fungirl; I don't know."
"A fungirl? What the hell is one of those?"
Both women stared at one another for a moment. The office outside was almost scarily quiet, the computers not yet buzzing, nobody shouting jokes across the room or alternatively sitting there holding their heads waiting in vain for their hangovers to pass.
Kevin probably knew what a fungirl was; it sounded like the kind of thing he would've been involved in as a boy. Skipping around the dark streets of Manchester, cowboy hat sparkling with pink fairy lights, legs hairy beneath his tutu. The trouble was, Gill didn't have too much trouble imagining it.
"Right, okay. I tell you what, Sherlock, as a favour to you, seen as you're obviously so caught up in what a fungirl is," she emphasized the word again, as though it were a rare species of lizard, "You can come with me to talk to them. Let's put our stab vests on first, though. Never know."
"Right, Boss. Let's do it."
As Gill opened the door, she held her breath. Nobody dived on her, though; there were no knives thrust into her stomach, nobody screaming abuse. Instead, the six girls huddled on the sofa by the reception desk sat and stared.
It was quite ironic really, Gill decided. They were the ones entitling themselves fungirls, and yet they were staring at her like she was the rare lizard, not the other way round. Why did she keep thinking about lizards?
"Hello, DCI Murray," one of the girls stood up to shake her hand. She looked quite normal, actually. "We need your help."
"DC Bailey may have mentioned it."
"Yeah," piped up another one, grinning.
Gill realised that they were all wearing name badges. Not flashing neon signs, but demure little squares, rather like the one she was wearing herself, actually. The first one to speak had been 'Lizzie'; the smiling one was 'Hayley'.
Rachel raised her eyebrows, "What do you need help with?"
"Well," 'Amy' took a deep breath before she began, as though she were launching into a long story, "We all arranged to meet here, but one of us hasn't come. We think she's got lost."
"Very easy in Manchester," Gill agreed dryly, "DC Bailey is rather an expert at it, particularly when we need to get somewhere quickly."
"Hey, that's not fair, you said 'go right', and you pointed left, so I followed your finger; that's not my fault, is it?" Rachel snapped.
"Oh my God," 'Gabby', squealed, for no apparent reason. Gill felt almost like a headmistress of a primary school, all of her pupils hanging onto her every word like she was a goddess.
Gabby and another smaller fungirl named 'Melissa' seemed to be recording this meeting on their phones; what was that all about? Were they planning on putting her on that Tube thing Sammy went on about? Something very fishy – or perhaps lizardy – was going on here.
"She's called Jade," the final one, 'Jill', informed them, "She was coming down from Scotland, only she's not answering her phone, and we think she must have got lost somewhere along the way."
"And what does this have to do with me?"
"We thought you might be able to help," Lizzie said.
"Okay, two things. A) why the hell are you filming me? B) I'm not entirely sure what a fungirl is, but I'm not sure it's something that a Detective Chief Inspector should be affiliated with."
All of the girls burst out laughing.
"What's funny?" Rachel looked bemused.
"It's FANGIRL," Hayley and Amy grinned together.
Sounded even more like a lizard, if you asked Gill. Except nobody was asking her. "Okay, okay. When was the last recorded sighting – or the last time you heard from her, I suppose – of this Jade?"
"10: 25," Melissa looked at her watch, "Which was approximately two hours and two minutes ago, because it's 12:27 now. Oh, 28."
"And what did she say? Was it a text?"
"No, a tweet," Jill said, like a 'tweet' was the most normal thing in the world for a fungirl/fangirl to be doing. Did you do a tweet? Did you watch a tweet, or read a tweet, or tweet a tweet? Who knew
"She said," Gabby piped up, checking her phone screen, "Awww naw, then a sad face. Haha, I'll probably get lost in Scotland getting too the train station, I'll see. Smiley face; kiss, kiss, kiss."
"Right," Gill nodded in agreement, not having really understood past the second word. What did 'naw' mean? Why were there so many words today that she didn't understand? Were these people actually English? "But I still don't really understand why you need my help."
"Morning, Boss. Morning, ladies," Kevin emerged through the doorway, not looking at all surprised to see a group of girls surrounding Gill and Rachel, "What's the crack here, then?"
"Kev," Rachel began, bursting out laughing, "These are the fangirls."
Gill was also struggling to control her amusement, because all she could see in front of her was Kevin in a tutu, carrying a little pet lizard under his arm. What had she put in her coffee this morning instead of the sugar, seriously? What was wrong with her? "And they need our help."
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