Disclaimer: Azumanga Daioh and all its characters were created by and are the property of Azuma Kiyohiko, and the author of this humble piece has made no material profit from them, and never will do.

Mahou Sensei Negima and all related elements and characters are the property and creation of Akamatsu Ken.

All other characters mentioned also belong to their respective copyright holders.

This story takes place in the universe of Unequally Rational and Emotional, starting shortly after Class 3-A's return from Kyoto.

SLICE OF LIFE WITH TARTAR SAUCE AND FRIED RICE

(Yes, the title is that bad on purpose).

LESSON 1: CHARMED TO BE HERE!

I am Special

The tremendously cute little girl with the brown hair made in two even cuter pigtails finished writing her name on the blackboard immediately. Then she turned around to face her new class and smiled brightly.

"Hello! I'm Mihama Chiyo! I'm ten years old, but I was allowed in Junior High after passing a special entrance test! I hope we all can be best friends all year long!"

Everyone just stared blankly at her.

"... S-Sorry. Are you—?-!" she squeaked.

"Impressed? Well..." a pretty girl with long light brown hair and glasses scratched her chin sheepishly, "Not a lot, really. Sorry, but it's just our English teacher is ten years old too, and he's a college graduate..."

Yukari-sensei sighed. "When I first saw you, I was hoping you'd be a circus midget... Then my class would have been really special..."

"Uwa!" Chiyo cried.

Pink Bishōjo Ghetto

"Chiyo-chan, " Yukari-sensei instructed her, "Since you're as short as a circus midget, you'll sit in Tomo's old seat, between Osaka-chan and Unnamed Male Student One-kun."

Chiyo blinked. "Is that his real name? Seriously?"

The young teacher shrugged. "We all call him that. Never bothered to learn his real name. Boys are here only to fill spots in the background, actually..."

Proving that was true, no boy in the classroom complained at all.

My Name is Osaka

As she sat down next to her, Chiyo smiled at the vacant eyed short older girl. "Hello! Why do they call you Osaka? That isn't your real name either, is it?"

Very slowly, the other girl turned her neck so her face was looking at Chiyo's, still sporting that spaced out expression. Then she smiled back at her, even slower, and you almos could hear a sinister creak as she did so.

"I came from Osaka..." she explained in a tone as slow as her actions. "I had to leave my goblin collection there, but I hope we'll be reunited someday..."

"Oh, you collected little cute toy goblins...!"

"No..." the slow moving hand poked up at Osaka's own nose. "Another kind of goblins..."

Chiyo pushed her own chair closer to Unnamed Male Student One-kun's.

Bilingual Bonus

The loud and obnoxious girl with short dark brown hair sitting right behind Chiyo complained again. "Yukari-chan, why in the world we have to take Spanish classes...?-!"

Their homeroom and Spanish teacher gave her a stern look, and she said, "Tomo-chan, pequeña perra ignorante. ¿Porque tienes que aprovechar cada oportunidad para quejarte de aprender algo? ¿Quieres seguir siendo una burra y acabar de puta en un bar? ¡Estudia sin quejarte, pedazo de animal!"

Chiyo blanched out with bugged-out eyes.

Tomo blinked stupidly. "Ah, what?"

Yukari-sensei smiled pleasantly. "That'll be your motivation to learn Spanish. By term's end, if you study hard enough, you'll understand what I just told you."

"Uhhhhh... Okay! Can you repeat it so I can take notes? Or else, I'll forget it all by then!"

Yukari-sensei was happy to oblige.

The Aristocrats

During lunch break, the girls gathered around Chiyo-chan. "Hey, what did you bring to eat?" a deeply tanned girl named Kagura asked her.

"Oh, not much, since Mom overslept and didn't have any time to make anything fancy..." Chiyo apologized in advance. "Only an egg and Greek lettuce salad sandwich, with some French fries for a special occasion, but to make it healthier, she tossed in a thermos of papaya juice, plus a candy apple, a honey filled bran snack, and a small piece of Swiss cheese with foie gras..."

Everyone stared at her in stupefied awkwardness, until Tomo extended her a greasy plain sandwich. "Cheese and ham. Trade?"

Sakaki

"Who is that girl over there?" Chiyo pointed to where a very tall brunette sat all alone under a tree, munching her bento slowly.

"Oh, that's Sakaki-san," answered Koyomi, the pretty girl with glasses. "She's a delinquent, so be careful around her!"

"A d-delinquent!" Chiyo cried. "What, what kind of evils deeds does she do?"

"Um, well, she..." Koyomi trailed off.

"She skips classes?" Chiyo asked.

"No, " Koyomi had to reply.

"She beats people up?"

"Uhh, not that we've ever seen, but..."

"She steals?"

"As far as we know, never, but still..."

"I know! She always hangs with gangs, doesn't she?"

"No, she's always alone," Tomo sneered.

"Then why is she a bad person?" Chiyo grew genuinely confused.

"Because she's always alone," Tomo said.

"You leave her alone because she's bad, and she is bad because she's alone?"

"Exactly!" Tomo nodded, not getting the core of the question at all. "And she always has her hands bandaged, so it's obvious she gets in a lot of fights! Any really smart person would figure that out! Sheesh!"

Chiyo blinked. "But, what if it is just she sews a lot and she's clumsy? Or she's an amateur carpenter..."

"What kind of bogus explanations are those?" Tomo retorted. "Deliquent! She's a delinquent!"

"O-Okay. Delinquent...You should know, since you know her far better than me..."

"Actually, we don't even know her first name," clarified Koyomi.

"I thought it was her last name we didn't know!" gasped Tomo.

Negi-sensei

"For those I haven't met before, hello, it's a pleasure being here with all of you," the nice looking boy in the green suit and tie smiled. "My name is Negi Springfield, and much like last term, I will be your English teacher."

Chiyo felt a contractually obliged pink blush coming to her features. So did every other girl in the classroom but Kaorin-chan.

And most of the boys, for that matter.

Well Staffed

"Negi-sensei, " Chiyo asked, "Why are you carrying that wooden staff on your back?"

"Oh, " the boy teacher said, "This is a memento from my father."

"Did he need it to walk?"

"Well, yes, he needed it to walk across the world."

"Oh, he was a globetrotter! That's great... But what did he work at?"

Negi helpfully gave the standard answer that discouraged any youngster from further asking on the subject without offending them or pushing them away.

"Analysis of Financial Systems in the Field of Corporative Administration, with an Emphasis on Macro Management."

"Ah."

It worked like a charm all the time.

Not Going Back There

"Yo, Chiyo!" Kagura called out. "What if we walk you back home? You said your family had moved very near here, didn't you?"

"Ah-hah, since Dad's new job is in the same area too, " the child said. "Thank you, Kagura-san!"

"C'mon!" Tomo clucked her tongue. "It's bad enough she has to spend all school hours with us seniors! Let her spend the rest of the day with kids her age!"

"KOBAYASHI, KOBAYASHI, KOBAYASHIIIII!" a girl Chiyo's age ran past them followed by a lovestruck classmate. They were, in turn, followed by a stone faced dark skinned little nun, Tomoyo-chan and Sakura in a miniature scooter surrounded by female bodyguards in shades, and a pursuing Negi-sensei who was yelling at them to walk, not run through campus.

"On second thought," Tomo said, "Chiyo-chan will be safer with us."

Big Fancy House

Tomo's mouth hung down. "This... This house is yours?-!"

"I'm sorry! We're just living here for the time being!" Chiyo bowed, slamming her hands together and closing her eyes. Kaga Ai would have been proud, then apologized her apologies were nowhere as good. "Please excuse my bringing you here! I know you were expecting for a better place!"

Tomo's face went red. "Don't mock us, petit hamburgeois!"

"I don't think that's—" Koyomi began.

"Shut up, Yomi! You're with us or with them! Power to the people! Down with the Man! Eat the rich! Vivo la Revoluciono!"

Cat Got your Tongue?

Walking down a narrow street leading to her dorm room, Sakaki ran into that cat again.

He sat on the middle of her way, looking up at her with flat, mysterious slitted eyes. His cute gray tail moved around in a vaguely snake like fashion. He and Sakaki measured each other like old enemies, although in her case, her deep blushing wasn't helping her cold image.

Sakaki's right hand flexed in and off, as her already dry expression became even more unreadable.

The claws popped out in the cat's tiny feet. SNIKT!

They charged each other, not a sound being made.

That night, resting on her back, in her bed covered by cat blankets and surrounded by kitty memorabilia that was present everywhere, Sakaki looked at her fresh wounds with the same stoic expression from earlier.

She'd get to pet him next time for sure.

Epilogue: ... And a New Beginning

Black butterflies fluttered around the head of the small girl standing on top of the highest pole in Mahora City, overseeing the whole area, including the Academy in the horizon line, which rested under the shadow of the gigantic World Tree.

"Kurosaki Ichigo..." the blond girl hissed throatily, a hand firm on the handle of her sheathed blade. "As I promised, we have come tonight for y—"

A large orange thing that looked like a bipedal cat with a fixed grin on passed by floating across the darkness, going straight against her and knocking her out of the post without ever stopping.

"GYAH—!" Hiyori said as she hit the ground several stories below.

"So sorry! In a hurry!" the cat-thing excused itself before disappearing back into the night.

It had been another perfectly normal day in Mahora.

Preview:

Hello, I'm Tomo-chan, the absolute protagonist of this spinoff no matter what anyone else may say! However, since I'm so nice, I'll let the next chapter star Chiyo-chan, her dog Mr. Tadakichi, and her maid Matsurika in their heartwarming daily life!

But boy, that sounds so boring! Guess we need to get the stinkers outta the way before we sink our teeth into the juicy stuff!

Next in Slice of Life with Tartar Sauce and Fried Rice, "Chiyo's Everyday Life"! Man, who thinks of these corny titles anyway?