A/N: This was suppose to be happy, and written to Hey There Delilah... Yea, I'm not sure what happened either... I knew this was going to be bad when I started pulling out the repetition and metaphors... Anyways, It's set in 2013 (Sophomore year in college) and it's from Bailey's POV and in present tense. Yup. Don't worry, I'm going to write some mushy family fics next.
"Where is it?" I cry out in agony; turning my dorm room upside down in search of my laptop. Why did I lend it to Lena anyways? She's so messy, I should of expected her to lose it in that trash mountain of a desk she has. Next time her computer gets a virus from some stupid gaming site I am not letting her anywhere near my computer.
Maybe I should invest in a safe for my valuables.
Getting on my knees, I plunge through desk drawers that are stuffed to the brim with paper. I fling the paper aimlessly behind me, until the drawer is as bare as the wood itself. Moving onto the next of many drawers, I don't even direct a gaze at the white, paper mess that covers the floor. I swear, my dorm is starting to look as white as the snow that dusts New Haven at the moment.
Oh man! It's snowing, I almost forgot! That's going to add quite a bit to my walk. I'm going to be late!
My hands move frantically through the pile; eyes darting from place to place in the quest for my laptop.
My head shoots up. What is that?
Oh... My phone. Did someone really have to call right now? I mean couldn't they of picked a better time? I continue searching; letting the phone continue on until I realize that maybe it's Lena calling about my laptop.
I promptly walk over to my desk, where my phone lays neatly upon it. It's not Lena, it's Cody. I sigh as I press answer, putting the call on speaker phone, I go back to searching through Lena's monster desk.
"Hey Cody. What's up?" I ask.
"Hey Bailey." I hear him come in over the speaker. "I was just calling to see how you were doing?"
"Oh, that's all-" I start off as I pry open the last drawer. I squeal a bit when it finally gives way. For a minute I was thinking I was going to need a crow bar.
"What was that?" The concerned tone in his voice shining through.
"Nothing," I smile as a I open the drawer to see a purple cased laptop nestled perfectly on top. "I just found my laptop that I've been searching twenty minutes for!"
"That's great Bailey... Hey, the thing is that I-"
I cut him off subconsciously as I stuff my laptop into my back pack, getting ready to run a mile across campus in the snow. "Cody I'm sorry, but I really have to go. I have a class that starts in fifteen minutes, and I haven't even left my dorm, and it's snowing like crazy outside. I'll talk to you later, bye." I hang up, and quickly swing open the door.
I rush down the hallway, checking my bag to make sure I didn't forget anything else. I can't afford any more delays if I want to make it to class on time. "Do you want a ride?"
Now that right there stops me dead in my tracks. I pivot to see none other than Cody standing a few feet behind me. I must of walked right past him, and not even noticed. "What are you doing here?" I start toward him; eyes wide with surprise.
It wasn't like it was a normal occurrence for him to show up at my dorm without calling me first; much less this early on a Friday.
"Well, I only have one class today, and that was canceled, so I decided that it would be nice to drive over and spend the weekend with you."
"Oh, well that was really nice of you." I say, leaning up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. I pull back to see his beautiful smile, and it's just now that I realize that it was the first smile either of us had displayed since seeing each other again.
Fighting the urge to frown, I loop my arm through Cody's, and start down the hallway toward the exit. "So were you really going to drive me to my class, or were you just trying to get my attention?" I smile playfully at him.
"Well, I couldn't think of any other way to get you to notice me at the moment."
I purse my lips at this as we leave the warmth of the building, and start across the snowy courtyard toward the parking lot. "Sorry about that... I just really have to get to class."
"Oh, I know." He reasons as we approach his car; he opens the passenger door for me to climb in. "Trust me, if the situation were reversed I would of done the same thing."
"Right..." I mumble to myself as Cody climbs in on the driver's side, and starts the ignition. As we wait for the engine to warm up it's unusually silent, especially for Cody's standards. Most of the time, I can never get even a syllable in the first half hour or so when we get to see each other.
"Is everything alright?" I start awkwardly, breaking the strange silence.
"Huh?" He must of been zoning out, another unusual occurrence. Something is on his mind, and he better not try to hide it. "Yea, everything is fine."
"So there is no reason why you came here to see me?" I press further.
"My reason is that I wanted to see you." He smiles weakly as he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. His hand lingers against my cheek for a second, but he quickly retracts it.
However, I've always been more agile than him, and it doesn't take much effort to catch his hand in mine and hold it. His hands are ice cold, however, mine are probably just as frigid. "That's always your reason, but this time you seem sad about it."
He exhales deeply, his face softening to match mine. His eyes, vacant before, are now starting to let his true emotions show. He looked more than sad. "Bailey, do you remember the last time we saw each other."
"Thanksgiving." I say confidently. "When I stayed with you and your family in Boston over break." I'm not sure what he is trying to get at.
"What month is it now?" He asks slowly. It's almost like he's afraid to hurt me, or maybe he is just afraid, or something completely different. I don't know anymore.
"March, Silly." I try a weak smile to lighten the heavy mood, but it falters, and I give up.
"Bailey, we haven't seen each other in four months. It's not like I'm going to school half way across the country; I'm at Penn State and you're here. I mean, how did this happen?"
"It hasn't been that long, has it?" I count the months over and over in my head.
December, January, February, March. December, January, February, March. That can't be right. It doesn't even feel like its been a month, much less four.
"Yea, it has, and we didn't even realize it." He lets go of my hands, and sinks back into his seat.
"I-I..." I start off, but I'm not sure what to say. "I don't know anymore." I sigh, running a hand back through my hair, resisting the urge to rip it all out. This is so frustrating! What are we suppose to do, or say, or think? I just don't know anymore.
He must think so too, because he just sits there silently staring out into, what was expected to be, the last snow of the season, melting to slush. He seems so far away, but then again, I suppose I do too.
When did distance become more than a physical aspect of our relationship?
"I should get you to class now." He broke the silence, pulling out of the parking space, starting toward the lecture hall.
Within minutes we are in front of the building, and I get out to leave, but before, I turn back to Cody. "Will you be here when I get back?"
His eyes widen, and for the first time in minutes I'm filled with an ounce of reassurance. "Of corse I will be. We have to talk about this more."
I look down, sweeping my foot against the slushy sidewalk, and nod in agreement. I'm not sure if a talk will be enough to fix us this time, but I guess all we can do is try.
Time is nothing, I mean, we could of gone years without seeing each other as long as we were aware of our love, but we have fallen asleep. We moved on with school, and friends, and family on our own; drifting into a dream world of our on creation. With each day our lives became more and more individualized until the day the are completely separate. I don't want to be alone though. I know it's easier, especially with him being so far away, but I don't want this.
"I love you." I remind him.
"I love you too." He reminds me.
Hopefully, it's enough for us not to melt away.