Malcolm was gone.

He was gone.

And it was all her fault.

Nikki knew that.

(You're Nikki?)

She loved him.

She loved him so much it almost physically hurt to be away from him.

He had much worse things going on in his life than in hers, and still she had pushed.

And then she had lost her temper, not taking into account how stir-crazy he would be going on his own up in her attic with nothing to do, or that he was usually the perfect boyfriend, and the small fact his dad had actually kicked him out, as in actually done it, and not just threatened like Nikki's had.

She shouldn't have been so harsh, or so stupid.

Nikki knew that.

She had broken up with him in her attic, where he was hiding out, saying she never wanted to see him again, while he was literally locked up in her house, over her bedroom.

(You'll be my little secret)

Why had she been so stupid?

Her dad had yelled, when Malcolm had fallen from the attic, but all she could concentrate on was that. The fact that Malcolm had fallen from the attic. He could've landed on his head, and cracked his skull open for Christ's sake!

She hadn't made sure that where he was staying was safe.

He could be dead right now, and it would be all her fault.

Nikki knew that.

She had been going up to apologise, when Malcolm's father and her dad came into the room, demanding to know where Malcolm was. She had realised she had been stupid. She had been going to kiss him. To show him that she did love him and that she knew his problems were bigger than hers.

But then he had fallen and he had been whisked out the door, and she didn't get a last look.

And it was going to kill her for the rest of her life.

Nikki knew that.

She had caught him looking at her, at school, his eyes lingering a bit too long, his look a bit too distant to convince her that he didn't miss her too.

Because this wasn't just a stupid high school fling anymore.

This wasn't lust.

This was love.

He had understood her, held her, kept quiet when she needed him too (except that last time) and his lips had been so soft and being in his arms had just felt right, and all his complaining had been part of his character, and all his faults just seemed to make him better. Nikki knew that she loved him.

And it was over.

And it was Nikki's fault.

And Nikki knew that.

Malcolm was gone.

He was gone.

And it was all her fault.

Nikki knew that.