Title: Speak Now
lovesmymovement on lj / wanderlustlights on tumblr
Word Count:
Kurt/Rachel {Hummelberry}
None really, I think.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Tis Ryan Murphy's brain child and I take ownership of nothing there. :)
Written for day 4 of Hummelberry Week for wedding/proposal day. Kurt and Rachel have a secret that changes everything for them on the day of her wedding.
A/N: I hope you like this! I've never really written a wedding fic, I think, so it's different for me, lol.

Rachel paced back and forth across the room, nerves getting the better of her by the second.

It was her wedding day, everything was perfect, and she and Finn were going to live happily ever after.

But despite that, she couldn't seem to get rid of the horrible feeling she had in the pit of her stomach. It was this massive, sinking feeling that for the life of her, she couldn't seem to get rid of.

She knew she loved Finn, she really did. But even still, it felt like she was drowning, sinking, and would never be able to return to the surface.

It felt like a mistake.

"Knock knock."

Rachel spun on her heel, turning to face Kurt standing there in the doorway.

"Wow…" he breathed, looking her over. "You look beautiful. Stunning, really."

Rachel glanced down at herself, and walked back over to the full length mirror, smoothing out her dress self-consciously. "You really think so?" she asked softly, watching as Kurt appeared beside her in the mirror.

"The most gorgeous girl I've ever seen," replied Kurt proudly, with a small smile.

Rachel flushed, cheeks heating under Kurt's gaze. "So, uhm. What are you doing in here? The ceremony's about to start, shouldn't you be in your place next to Finn?"

Kurt swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. "I probably should, yes, but… I don't know. I guess I just wanted to talk to you first. If you don't mind, that is."

Rachel turned away from the mirror to face him. "What about?"

Kurt's gaze dropped slightly, suddenly more nervous than ever before. "Do you- I mean… do you ever think about it?"

"Think about what, exactly?"

Kurt glanced back up at her, gaze unyielding. "I think you know what I'm talking about, Rachel."

"No, I don't think about it! Okay? I can't. I can't think about it because I already feel guilty enough just knowing that it happened." Rachel took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. "We were drunk, alright? That's all it was. Really. So please, just… let it go."

"I don't care if we were drunk, it was inevitable, it would have happened either way! I… I love you, Rachel. I do. And as much as I love Finn, too, you shouldn't be with him. You should – you should be with me.

"Kurt, I-"

Kurt grabbed one of her hands in his own, making sure to catch her eyes. "Please, just… think about it. Please." Heart pounding, Kurt gave her hand a squeeze before dropping it and walking back out of the room.

Rachel stared after his retreating figure, even more confused than before. Not even two months ago, she'd come home so stressed out from planning the wedding all by herself while still juggling high school and preparing for Nationals, that by the time she collapsed on her bed, she was happy just to hear Kurt's voice on the other end of the line when he called. Between all of that and worrying about NYADA, it was a nice surprise when Kurt came over that night, procuring a bottle of tequila from his bag. Apparently he was a pretty good mind reader and knew just how she'd been feeling.

Tequila led to lowered inhibitions, lowered inhibitions led to secrets being spilled, secrets being spilled led to making out, and making out led to some very confusing, very drunk sex.

When they woke up the next morning, the both of them still naked and feeling their heads pounding at the sun pouring in through the window.

It was, quite possibly, the single most awkward experience of Rachel's life. Kurt woke a few moments later, tripping over his words and mumbling before dressing.

Rachel knew it was a mistake, was very much aware of the fact, yet even still, couldn't help herself from dragging Kurt into a desperate kiss. At the time, she'd chalked it up to being just residual from the night before, but looking back on it… looking back, she wasn't so sure that was what it really was.

"Honey?" called Hiram, effectively breaking her out of her reverie. "Are you ready?"

Rachel was left staring at him as he waited for an answer.

"Dearly beloved-"

"I can't." Rachel's voice was soft, yet strong. She knew what she wanted and despite how much she still loved him, Finn wasn't it. "I can't do this."

Kurt stared in surprise, heart picking up speed as Rachel said those words, ones he'd thought would be a miracle for him to hear.

Without another word, Rachel ran from the room, back down the aisle and out of the doors. The guests stared after her, shock evident on their faces as murmurs and whispers filled the room.

"I – I'll be right back," said Kurt to Finn, and ran after her.

Kurt looked around the hallway, trying to figure out which direction she'd gone in, before pushing open the church doors. "Rachel."

She was sitting on the front steps, veil blowing in the wind while she clutched her legs. "Kurt?"

Kurt sat next to her on the step with a sigh, untangling one of her hands from her legs and taking it in his own once again. "Are… I mean, are you okay?"

Rachel sniffed, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm fine."

They were silent, just letting the breeze blow by them, wind picking up their hair and clothes in a steady rhythm.

"I love you too, Kurt," she whispered.

Kurt only kissed the top of her head in response.