I am only going to do this once, None of it belongs to me. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, she is the creator and like all other FF Authors I am just trying to get some closure from the trainwreck that was Breaking Dawn.
It Hurt. The pain was unbearable. You hear stories, watch movies and listen to songs about broken hearts but until it happens to you, you can never truly understand. I've tried to describe it, but the pain escapes definition. It's all encompassing, not only emotionally but also physically. There's nothing you can do but succumb to it as it takes over. It invades your body and soul weighing you down making it almost impossible to breath, you can't eat, and you can't sleep, you can't function at all. All you can do is cry and ask yourself over and over again why? In the end you never get an answer and to be honest there really wasn't one that could ever make it right.
Two weeks. That's how long I cried for Sam Uley, two weeks and then I had no more tears, not for him and most definitely not for her. On that fifteenth day I decided I wouldn't let them break me, I was better than that, better than them. I would not let this define me and I refused to be that girl. You know the one I'm talking about, the girl who let's her whole world crumble from a broken heart, isolating herself and wallowing in her pain and self-pity for months. If only my heart was just broken, the truth was it was shattered. Broken happens when your fiancé calls off the wedding because he's not ready or he doesn't really want to spend forever with you, shattered is what happens when you catch your fiancé fucking your cousin who was supposed to be your maid of honor and then having him tell you he didn't have a choice. It Hurt. It wasn't just the pain of losing him; it was also the pain of their betrayal and if I was honest with myself, that was worse.
They say losing someone you love is like death; you have to go through the stages to move on. I went through them all denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. I go through them everyday, some more than others. These days I seemed to be stuck on a repeat loop between anger and depression and I realized in order for me to survive this and move on to that last stage of acceptance and get on with my life I had to leave. I had to get away from them and their "newfound love", I had to get away from the whispers and looks of pity and I had to get away from the looks of complete helplessness in my family's eyes. I had to let go of my past and focus on my future, a future that no longer included Sam Uley or La Push.
Once my mind was made up the rest was easy. It only took two weeks. In two weeks I had cancelled my wedding, enrolled in summer classes at the University of Washington, made arrangements to move in with my best friend Rachel Black and even got a part time job with her help. Exactly one month after Sam Uley shattered my heart I had all my belongings packed into my little car, I said goodbye to my family and never looked back.