Almost three years of torment, and Natsuki finally made him admit. The year they saved the world, the other where everyone slowly left, and this one, the year they spent together. Autumn, Winter, Spring, Summer then through and through again. Normality, and anxiousness stremed in Natsuki's mind. Once somethings been said, it's easy to begin questioning why it was so challenging to overcome in the first place. Why didn't we do this three years ago? Natsuki mulled over things. I've known it for three years, three years we had and we wasted them being cowards.
"Natsuki?" Yuki beckoned in a quivering voice. He had just confessed, wasn't Natsuki going to at least say something? The boys were sitting up together on Yuki's somewhat cramped bed. Yuki's face was flustered, and bled the same red as his hair and only continued to brighten as Natsuki remained trapped in his thoughts.
"I-I don't want to leave you," As Natsuki began, Yuki's hand found a place on the other boys shoulder. He didn't do it in advancement, or out of some cheap romantic play. Yuki reached his hand out to Natsuki because there was fear in his voice. "You said I was the first person you ever opened up to. You were my first too. I opened up to Akira, and Haru as well. To a lot of people really, but that wouldn't have ever happened if I hadn't met you first." He watched Yuki squirm in embarrassment, sometimes having the courage to look in his eyes and in other moments forcing himself to glance aside. "Look at me, Yuki." Natsuki shrugged Yuki's hand from his shoulder in order to lift his own arm. Free, his hand raised Yuki's face to meet him, but hesitated; thumbing Yuki's jawline he could see the beginnings of a bruise. "Stubborn boy, it's always been you."
"You're the one being stubborn now, say it Natsuki." He gulped down the courage he mustered to say that, and waited. Wearing Yuki's oversized sweater, pieces of its sleeve brushed the redheads face when Natsuki moved his hand across the boys face and into his hair. Fingertips lingered through red strands, yet his eyes wavered.
Please, just say something. Yuki had otherwise been focused on what Natsuki was saying but while he stopped, it was difficult to distract himself from their closeness. His hand in my hair, thumb on my face, assorted limbs and legs touching on various places that are so small and unmentionable yet they grow in size in my mind as the silence builds.
"I-" before he could barely begin a crack of lightening broke outside where the storm was still raging. Both of their hearts jumped in tandem. Seconds later the lights flickered off. Natsuki and Yuki's eyes both darted towards the door to watch the hall lights darken in sync until Yuki's room too became dark.
Yuki's eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness, and faint images of Natsuki came into view. Pitch black hair, matching glasses, a slender frame and his light blue sweater that was rolling over the boys fingertips. He'd just now noticed that his shoes were off, even though it would make sense for them to be. Eventually he began to notice the familiars of his face, the curve of his jaw and even his eyes. Natsuki was still looking out the door, and didn't even notice the other boy staring.
I should probably go downstairs to see if I can turn the power back on. Natsuki started to slip out of bed, but Yuki caught the end of his sweater. Turning his head back, their eyes met again. "A-are you okay, Yuki?" His body slinked back into the bed with worry.
"The lights can wait." he says, tugging the boy farther down, until Natsuki topples onto Yuki. Natsuki's too quick for that though, and extends his arms before he falls. Yuki knows he's just trying to change the subject, to get out of bed, because he still hasn't said it.
Natsuki sighs, defeated. An unfamiliar feeling in general, but when Yuki could catch him it was more of a game to them. No one else knew Natsuki that well. Yuki was the exception. "Yuki." He starts, still hovering above his friend.
"I love you. Will you please have me?" Natsuki's smile is evident, even though it's quite dark in the room. Yuki's hand is fumbling around Natsuki's collar, and his feet are wriggling as well. "What do you have to be nervous about, Yuki?"
"I've just," His hands gain the courage to touch the boys face, then sweep across his lips. Yuki's eyes open and close, disconnecting the distraction. "I've wanted you to say that for so long," His hand falls.
Natsuki rolls his eyes, what a cheesy statement.
"Hey," Yuki reaches his hand back again, noticing that while Natsuki has been carefully hovering over him, his glasses had slowly started to slip off. Yuki grasped the frame with one hand, to begin sliding them back on but before he could barely adjust them, Natsuki gasped.
It's uncommon for something to startle him so much, especially to warrant such a sound. But it had all slipped his mind up until then. The position of their bodies, even though he'd grown comfortable, Natsuki was still hovering above Yuki, giving in just the slightest amount would allow gravity to take over and...
Yuki read the realization in Natsuki's gasp, and instead of placing the glasses back on his face he went in reverse and slipped them off.
"You never answered my question." Natsuki blinked, now without glasses Yuki was somewhat of a blur.
"W-what?" Yuki had lost all composure after taking his glasses off. He'd been bold up to that point, but now he felt like he was sinking into the bed. The space between their bodies was so minute, yet it seemed like they would take forever to meet.
"Will you have me?" Natsuki reiterated once more, this time burrowing his face into Yuki's neck , shuffling away red strands of hair until he was able met Yuki's warm skin. His lips graced softly, then firmly kissed only to pull away. "Answer?"
Natsuki knew he was being unfair. Yuki's neck burned, his heartbeat pulsed through his entire body. He felt in in his ears and toes, tremors leaping farther and farther upwards to clench his throat. Answer, he thought.
"Please," Hesitant to speak with such a frail voice, he paused to regain what composure was left. "Yes, Natsuki."
"Breathe." Natsuki whispered, noticing Yuki's uneven gasps. He had no intention to make Yuki faint. Yuki did as he was asked, closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Natsuki watched in fascination, and as he exhaled took the opportunity to bridge the gap between them. At first Yuki shuttered at Natsuki's lips, startled and obviously inexperienced. Though as his lips became more familiar, he managed to move his mouth in tandem with his partner. After a moment more Yuki pushed him away, frustrated with himself.
"I'm sorry, I'm no g-good at this."
"Don't think, Yuki. You're perfect." Natsuki combed stray hairs away from Yuki face. "You're the only person I want to kiss. I wouldn't care if you were the worst kisser on the world, and you're not by any means." Yuki's eyes rolled.
Natsuki rolled his eyes back. "Open your mouth."
Yuki wanted to question him, but instead parted his mouth slightly without hesitation. Natsuki eased back into Yuki, and before he could become too nervous about his tactics Natsuki slipped his tongue onto Yuki's lips, pushing them even farther apart to gain entry. Yuki tried to fight it at first, but gave in, swirling their tongues together. Yuki let out muffled moans along with a few pleading whimpers. From then on Yuki had forgotten and no longer over thought things. He was lost in it all, the fact that Natsuki pulled their sweaters off, and somehow the awkward movements before had become perfect measurements of pushing and pulling. It was like being in an ocean, drowning even, but every gasp of breath Yuki needed, Natsuki gave, and they continued to sink deeper. Their bodies wriggled over the bed, legs intertwining and fingers grasping in hair. They took their time so sparingly, enjoying every inch of one another. Every step they took, Natsuki never said a word but always looked to Yuki for approval. By the end of it all Yuki didn't look nearly as nervous, and that's all Natsuki ever wanted. For Yuki to be comfortable. For them to be comfortable with one another.
"Yuki?" Natsuki mumbled, almost asleep in his bed.
"Mm?" Yuki was buried in the crevasse of his arm, naked under the covers that lay on top of them.
"I love you." Natsuki's voice was barely audible, but luckily his mouth was already resting near Yuki's ear.
"Mm." Yuki wriggled, "I love you too." He was trying to block the thoughts out but they kept resurfacing. Natsuki is going to leave. It will never be like this again. Yuki's throat closed trying to stop it, but all he could do it try to be quiet.
"Yuki, are you crying?" Natsuki sat up immediately, placing Yuki onto a pillow. His face swept Yuki's hair from his eyes and drew in closer to see if it was actually true. "Hey." Natsuki repeated.
"I-I'm sorry." Yuki clammed up, pushing his hands to his face and pulling away.
Natsuki unraveled the boy, forcing his hands away. "Don't."
"You're going to leave me tomorrow."
"Not tomorrow." Natsuki mutters.
"W-What?" Yuki opens his eyes.
"I am leaving, Yuki. And I know it will seem like a long time, but it will be okay. I will always come back for you, and you're more then welcome to come with me at any time."
"But, you're not leaving tomorrow?"
"No, the weather tonight got my flight rescheduled."
For some reason that little shimmer of time seemed like a treasure. One more day, one more hour, one more minute with him.
"Promise me Natsuki." Yuki pleaded.
"Promise you what, love?" Natsuki seemed concerned.
"Don't leave me until you have to get on the plane."
It was his last wish. And Natsuki carried it out just as he promised. That night he stayed with him, and they rose together in the morning. Yuki made it a rule that they couldn't leave the house. So, in their boredom, Natsuki decided to tell Yuki more about his mother, which he had never told any other person. In turn, Yuki shared his experience about his parents. There were also times where nothing was said, and they only sat there holding hands or falling asleep together. When they realized they had been in their pajamas all day, Yuki went to grab Natsuki's very dry clothes out of the dryer and wore them around the house until they were stripped from him at bed time. Again, they fell asleep and woke. This time when Yuki awakened Natsuki was no longer there. In a hurried panic he flew down the stairs nearly slipping in the process only to see Natsuki had woken up early to make him breakfast.
When it was finally time for them to say goodbye, Natsuki's clothes were returned and Yuki's borrowed clothing were placed neatly back in his closet. Almost as if he'd never been there at all. Natsuki gave him a time. He said six months and I'll be back for you. From July till then, the world was going to freeze over and Yuki would still be there for him. After Natsuki left Yuki began to sob. He rushed up to his bedroom, yanked the sweater from his closet and jumped back onto his bed. It all still smelled like him. Yuki inhaled, and exhaled. There was a phantom touch on his lips once he exhaled. You promised you would come back. I'm counting the days.
Once Natsuki landed in America, the first thing he did was buy Yuki a gift. He decided if Yuki was still waiting for him six months later, then he would truly deserve it. Until then though, Natsuki slowly turned the small blue box around in his pocket.