WARNING: Contains Yaoi/Shounen-Ai. Don't like? Go back. Like it? Well, enjoy!
I backed away a few steps so I wouldn't get the urge to slap Shizu-Chan across the face. Kiss him? Kiss him? He demand I kiss him when he hates me when I'm supposed to hate him, when we try to kill each other almost every other day?
"Izaya," his voice said, sounding close. Too close. I snapped out of my little ranting world inside my head and looked up as his hands cupped my face. He brought my face my lips closer to his.
Before I knew what I was doing, I pushed him back forcibly. I felt a weird sense of satisfaction as I heard him fall backwards on the hard-wooded floor while I turned on my heel to escape to my room. I figured he'd be okay, sleeping on the couch. Or the floor. It didn't matter to me.
But I forgot how fast Shizu-Chan was.
He was on me in seconds, knocking me down to the floor. He rolled me over, kissing me with so much force that I thought he was going to break my jaw, or at least dislocate it.
He began touching me in places that have never been touched before. He teased, stroked, probbed, and almost about everything else.
"Izaya?" His voice sounded like he couldn't believe something. I tried to focus on anything but that the... thing he couldn't believe. "What's this?" he asked then, grabbing the crotch of my pants.
I bit my lip. I refused to moan. Not like this. He's not himself. He doesn't know what he's doing, what he's saying, what the hell he'd doing to our relationship. When he comes to his senses, he'll kill me. He'll show no mercy. And I just might let him.
"St " I tried, but his hand going in my pants cut me off entirely.
"Izaya, you're so wet," he laughed, moving his hand faster and smoother. I shook my head side to side, squeezing my eyes tightly. I bit my lip harder than ever, and tried to keep hold of the bite, even when Shizu-Chan leaned forward and kissed my lips. He forced my mouth open, letting my moans and little girly gasps escape.
A few moments passed, and he laughed out loud when I came. He ignored my shaking head as he pulled down my pants and boxers. His hands rested on the back of my thighs, close to the bend of my knees as he looked down at the mess. "I'll clean it up for you, Izaya," he said, bending down to his job.
"Nn..." I noised as his tongue worked. "Stop... W-We're in the middle of the hallway... Don't d-do that... Aah... Nngh..."
He looked up a little, and said, "Shhh. You know you are enjoying this."
Again with my noises. "T-... that's beside the point..." I couldn't argue with that. Truthfully and honestly, I was enjoying it. I just didn't think I'd admit it. "Ssshhhh... Sh... Shizu-Chan... Don't... Going to... again..."
And I came again. In his mouth. When I realized that, I shot up right, pushing him back by his shoulders. I wiped off his mouth with my hand, saying sorry over and over, while he just said, "You're super sensitive."
About the tenth time he said I was "super sensitive," I told him to keep his trap shut. I admit, I was angry as hell. Angry that he did that. Angry that he isn't himself. Angry that, sooner or later, he'll remember who is is, remember what we (he?) did; angry that he'll never let it go, and that he'll try to kill me even more now.
"Shut up, Shizuo. Just shut up."
"Oh, I'm not 'Shizu-Chan' anymore? That makes me sad."
I shook my head, ignoring his snickers of laughter and his now-forming grin. I didn't want to know what brought that along. But I couldn't help but wonder if I was the cause as I pulled up my boxers and pants. I ignored the wetness.
"Can we have sex?"
I nearly choked on my in-take of breath. Sex? With Shizu-Chan? Need I remind myself, and everyone else, that he hates my guts? "... Sex? I'm a man, you know." I told him jokingly, shaking my head, and trying to act like, on the inside, I wasn't freaking out at all.
"Oh, I know that. I am too." he laughed, leaning in closer. On impulse, I backed away. His expression became annoyed, angry, and something else I couldn't read. Longing? I wasn't sure. "You don't want to?"
I sighed heavily, shaking my head in defeat. "Shizu-Chan, we hate each other. People who hate each other should not have sex. Everyone knows that." I stood up with difficulty, then pointed to the bathroom. "Now, go in there and brush your teeth. Take a shower, too."
With his anger and annoyance still all over his face, he got up. He stared at me for a long moment before he turned, stepped into the bathroom, and closed the door behind him.
A few minutes later, I heard the water start to run. Making my way into the living room, I decided I'd sit down and calm the hell down first. My thoughts were jumbled like a tornado, the hands were sweaty and shaking, my heart was pounding, my mind wanted to think about the feel of his tongu
I got up from the couch quickly, narrowing my eyes. I walked down the hallway, to my room, and shut the door behind me. I made sure to lock it. I didn't want any surprise visits during the middle of the night. Even though I felt bad for locking the door, it remained that way.
I checked my phone as I got into bed. No messages. I discarded the thought quickly, knowing that Celty or Shinra would contact me sometime tomorrow with a lead. How did I know? I just knew. Then I would focus on how to deal with the guy who did whatever the hell he did to Shizu-Chan, then, somehow, work on him getting his memories back and the hatred he has (had?) for me.
Then I covered myself with the blankets, ignored the knocks at my bedroom door, and went to sleep.
I rolled over, stretched slightly, and opened my eyes to see Shizu-Chan laying beside me. I blinked, trying to remember if I let him in my room... No, I didn't. I remember. I was angry that he... did... er... Did I lock my door? I wondered, trying to think of anything else. I thought back as hard as I could. Yes... I locked my door.
I jumped out of bed quickly, which made his eyes pop open in alarm. I could tell I was glaring at him, and he put his hands up in some sort of surrender as he sat up.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, cutting him off.
"What do you mean?" he asked, narrowing his eyes in confusion.
"Oh, don't play dumb with me, idiot," I spat, shaking my head. I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring still. "Why the hell are you in my bed with me?"
"Because I came in here to sleep with you?" he said, raising a brow. His words sounded more like a question than an answer.
"How did you get in here? I locked the door. There is no way you could have came in here unless you "
" found the key," he finished for me, smirking. He revealed the little silver key I keep hidden taped to the very top of the doorframe. Damn. I really should have kept that key somewhere else. "Are you mad, Izaya?" he asked, his eyes all puppy-like.
I stared at him for a long while. For exactly how long, I'm not sure. But looking at those lost and hopless eyes (while for sure knowing he isn't himself), I couldn't help but crack a smile and shake my head. "No, I'm not mad."
At that, his face lit up. He got up form the bed quickly, and before I could stop it, he picked me up over his shoulder and threw me down on the bed. Cupping my face in his hands (while my hands tried to push him away), he kissed me on the lips before directing his lip-attention on my neck.
I squirmed and pushed him away even more, refusing to do this with him. Maybe, if by some miracle, he'd be normal and actually not hate my guts, I'd think about it. But... like this? No. It would be like... I'm stealing some sort of him. In a way.
"Idiot." I murmured, flicking him. "Go brush your teeth. You have morning breath."
He jumped up, looking down at me with narrowed eyes. "... Do I really?"
"Yes," I said bluntly, though confused. His reaction... was a little weird. But it was cute, I have to admit.
His face reddened, which surprised and confused me even more. He scrambled off the bed, off of me, and went for the door; as I don't have a bathroom in my bedroom. I heard the water run, which meant I was save for about... three minutes, tops.
I got up, searching for my phone. As I found it, I pressed a button to light it up and there was a message. Multiple ones.
"Whatever the reason, don't go outside." Shinra... I narrowed my eyes at his e-mail, confused. What the hell did he mean? Shaking my head, I looked at the next one.
"Snooped around for leads. Let me take care of some stuff. Stay inside." Celty. She's saying basically the same thing as Shinra. What the hell do they mean?
"Care to explain?" I typed, then sent it to both Shinra and Celty. Ignoring the other e-mails, I set the phone down as I heard the sink water shut off. Shizu-Chan came waltzing in the room, eyes set on me in that animal-like way, like I was his prey.
"Would you like lunch?" I asked before he got a chance to take tack. I straightened the covers on my bed. Though I've never done this before, it gave me a reason not to look him in the face.
That caught him off guard, but he quickly recovered. I heard him take a step toward me. I twitched a little... as my back was facing him... "Only if you're lunch."
"I'm not. Food wise, Shizu-Chan. What would you like for lunch?" I asked again, getting worked up at his sexual comments, his blazing, sensual stare.
"Hot dogs?" he suggested with a smirk.
"Oka wait." I stared at him, trying to ignore the heat I felt radiating off my cheeks. "No," I said, shaking my head over and over. I brushed pasted him, into the bathroom, while he chuckled, following me.
Putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, I mumbled, "What?" and stuck the toothbrush in my mouth, running the bristles along my teeth.
"Why won't you have sex with me?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe. "I know you're attracted to me. And you obviously know I'm attracted to you. By now, I mean."
When he said the word "sex" a sexual desire ran through me. I shook my head mentally, in a frantic way. "Excuse me?" I asked, after I got done brushing my teeth. "I'm not attracted to you. Remember? We hate each other. You're not yourself right now, Shizu-Chan."
"But I want you like this."
"Shut up," I begged, shaking my head once again. "You don't." I brushed past him, picking up random things, like trash and clothes along the way so I wouldn't have to look at him. I didn't want to look at him.
"Fine," he said, following me into the living room. I watched as he slipped his feet into his shoes, which were right by the coffee table. "I'm leaving. I'll be fine on my own."
"No!" I said, lunging to him as he went for the door. Half clinging to him, I tightened my arms around him. "Y-You can't leave!"
He looked down at me as I clung to him and pushed him back. "And why can't I?" he asked, letting me push him back.
"I said so," I told him bluntly. I pushed him to the entrance of the hallway. There, he held out both arms so they'd touch the sides of the opening. He leaned in and kissed my forehead before he pried me off of him.
"If that is your only reason, then I'm going," he told me. He moved me aside and brushed past me as I did to him. When I heard him unlocking the door, I spun around, and said:
"S-Shizu-Chan! Have sex with me!" I averted my eyes downward in embarrassment. What have I just done to my pride? I can feel it slipping away through the cracks I just made in my ego. I glanced up, seeing him look at me with his mouth slightly gaped open.
"Didn't you hear me?" I asked, looking at him in the eye. I decided to say the things I've been bottling up: "I was lying... when I said I wasn't attracted to you. B-But don't get me wrong. I still hate you."
"Aren't you the one that said we shouldn't have sex if we hate each other?" he asked then, raising a brow. He turned his back to the door, which wasn't even opened yet.
I nodded, thinking. "Yes, I did... But what's making me hate you right now is that you've made me this way."
"Made you this way? What way?"
Next I was talking so fast I couldn't breathe. "I can't think straight, I'm not myself, I'm definitely not acting like myself, I'm loosing my cool; and have I mentioned I'm just not myself?"
He looked surprised. "I-I'm sorry... I think..."
I shook my head back and forth quickly. "It's okay. So... Shizu-Chan," I whispered, walking toward him. I gripped his shirt with both hands and looked up at him. "Let's have sex. Stay."
"Izay wait..." he said, narrowing his eyes in a confused manner. His hands stopped in their tracks as they made their way to my face; probably to caress my cheeks. "You're just going to... let me inside you because you want me to stay?"
"I..." was all I was able to mutter. I looked up at him, and I knew I must have looked completely helpless which pissed me off even more, because when have we all ever seen or heard of Izaya Orihara being/looking helpless? And I mean, The Izaya Orihara.
"Izaya..." Shizu-Chan mumbled, his brows pulling together. It looked like he was trying not to cry. My heart felt like it stopped entirely as he stepped away from me. "You are, aren't you." It wasn't a question. From his mouth, it sounded like a realization.
I couldn't say anything. It felt like my voicebox was frozen. Instead, I took a step forward, reaching out to him. For what, I'm not sure, but I really did want him to stay.
He stepped away as I stepped forward making my chest hurt more. I dropped my hand to my side, holding back the disgusting and annoying need to cry. He turned on his heel, and with his back to me, he opened the door, walked over the thershold, and shut the door in my face.
Or atleast, that's what it felt like.
I don't know, or remember, how long I stood in front of the shut door, staring at the place where Shizu-Chan's feet as occupied all those hours ago. Where they hours? I'm not even sure. I knew that I needed to stop standing there, get moving, check my phone for any messages from Celty or Shinra, or even possibly Shizu-Chan.
But then again, I'm not even sure he knows scratch that I'm not even sure he remembers how to use a cell phone. Just that thought makes numerous problems swim through my mind. What if he forgets that he's supposed to press that button before crossing the street? But then that thought seemed silly. He's not that stupid.
I shook my head, trying to get myself in the now. Tired. Worn out. That's how I feel. I haven't been my usual self. I haven't been the usual Izaya Orihara. And that's not acc
That noise... I hear a noise. I narrowed my eyes slightly, then whirled around in the direction of the hallway. A familiar ringtone. Someone's calling... "Shizu-Chan, possibly...?" I whispered, running down the hall. I threw open the door, looked frantically for the source, and lunged for the phone that was lying on my bed.
Shinra, the screen said. I opened it quickly, put it to my ear, and said, "Yes?" loudly.
"Shizuo's here..." he told me, though it sounded like a question more than a statement.
"Is he okay? He's not hurt, is he?" I asked, slightly frightened. I bit my lip, trying to will myself into being my usual self the cool, calm, collected me.
"Uh..." Shinra muttered. "He's not hurt. But he's not that happy at all..."
I huffed a breath into the phone, wondering if Shizu-Chan spilled all the beans. In the back of my mind, I frantically hoped not. I didn't want either of them as in Celty and Shinra to know anything that had happened between him and me. "Bring him."
"E-Excuse me?" Shinra said, sounding confused.
"Bring him back over," I insisted in a harsher voice.
"Are you sure, Izaya?" he asked, his voice worried. "At the mention of your name, he..." Shinra let the sentence trail off.
"I don't care." I told him, and if possible, my voice sounded even harsher than before. I bit my lip, tasting the salty, coppery blood. "Drag him if you have to."
"Okay, okay," he agreed, giving in. I could just see him, holding up both hands in defeat in front of him.
After that, we hung up. I paced arouns my room, kicking clothes into the closet, stuffing trash under my bed. I glared at the bed, trying to remember if I somehow sensed Shizu-Chan slipping into my bed late last night... and then it hit me.
I do remember.
I had woken up from hearing the rattling of him unlocking the door with the key. I couldn't tell if he knew I was awake or not, as I didn't stir automatically as he appeared in the room. I watched silently as he had walked slowly and carefully to the other side of the bed. For a moment, he had just stood there, watching me as I slept, or rather, as I pretended to sleep. Then he pushed back the covers, cautiously sat down, and wiggled down in between the sheets. As his warmth crept up on me, I sighed a "Hmm," and rolled over so I faced him. I remember I willingly cuddled against him. And over the sounds of the outside world, I heard him murmur words.
Words that didn't come back to me until now.
"It doesn't feel like I hate you, Izaya. I don't think I can, now. This might be too soon to say, but I think I'm in love with you."
And my words came back to me as well.
"Yes," I had whispered in agreement.
My face reddened as they words echoed in my mind. My eyes widened. My heart went out of control. I started pacing around my room, until I bumped into a familiar figure.
"Shizu-Chan!" I gasped, looking up at him. His face was confused, though it didn't look the least happy at all. I concentrated, and, heard no noise of Shinra or Celty in the other room. I bit my lip once more, and ignoring the taste of blood that filled my mouth, I wrapped my arms around him until I couldn't breathe.
He stumbled back a little, but caught himself. His hands went to my shoulders, trying to keep me steady. Finally, I let him go, but I only leaned back enough so I could see his face. That confused face. That surprised face.
I galred up at him, and when he opened his mouth to speak, I leaned in once more and took his bottom lip in between my teeth. He sucked in a breath, held it, and when I finally let go, blood dripped slowly from his lip. He held his hand there, applying pressure. "What was that for?"
"For running off!" I screamed, my eyes becoming slits. I punched him in the shoulder, lightly but not too lightly. "Do you have any idea how worried I was, you fucking jerk?"
"But that makes no sense," he said bluntly, his brows furrowing in confusion. He pursed his lips, that mind of his appearently thinking rapidly.
A moment passed before I asked, "Why so?"
"If you were worried... that means you care," he told me, shaking his head. "And... you don't... Izaya doesn't care." He lifted his head more, looking me in the eye. "Right?"
I swallowed, taking a step to him until there was no space between us. Even if I wasn't my usual Izaya Orihara self... The emotions... This feeling... I pursed my lips, narrowing my eyes. Tentatively, I raised my hands to his face. And I pressed my lips against his.
After a moment, I pulled back, looking up at him with a smile. "I'm sure that answers your question, Shizu-Chan," I said teasingly. Little by little, I felt my usual self grow back.
Suddenly, he scooped me up, walked quickly to my bed, and dropped me. I looked up at him frantically, wide eyed as he stripped off his shirt. He was working on his belt when he noticed me watching him, when he noticed my expression.
"Is this wrong?" he asked.
I shook my head, unable to speak. I stared at him until he broke the silence again. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
I nodded, still unable to get my voicebox working. I watched as he undid his belt, throwing it behind his shoulder. He knelt down on the bed, running his hand up my shirt, across my already hard nipples. I jerked slightly, feeling other things jerk too.
"Are you okay?" he whispered, sliding off my shirt. I went along, lifting my arms easily and reaching to unbutton his pants. He, too, took off every bit of clothing I had on. I glared at his pants and boxers, tugging them down so he'd get the hint and take them off.
Finally, he laughed, kicked them off, and spread my legs. "Ah!" I gasped, clearly not expecting that. He lifted me up the tiniest bit while I wrapped my legs around his waist.
"Ready?" he asked, holding back the lust in his voice.
I nodded, barely muttering a "Ready" before he thrusted inside me. All the way in. We panted just from that, wincing from pain as our intimacy grew and grew. I could tell he hadn't needed me to work on him a little for the wetness he was already plently wet.
For the next hour, our sex went on without a seconds stop. That pleasurable moment came (no pun intended... okay, maybe) numerous times, but each time was just as good as the last.
As we collasped, pressed against each other, kisses were exchanged back and forth, everywhere, until I realized something. "Have you had dinner yet?" breathless, I asked.
"No..." he admitted, running those hands of his up and down my body. "But I did have dessert."
"Oh really?" I asked, non-sarcastically. "What did you have for dessert?"
The next morning, I woke up sore, stiff, but somehow in a much better mood than I had been before. I glared at the ceiling, feeling around for Shizu-Chan, relief flooding over me as I grabbed his hand.
With my other hand, I reached over to get my phone which had been sitting in that same stop for hours and pressed a button so it lit up.
I sprang up quickly, gasping an "ah" as I did so. Glancing over at the blonde next to me, I sighed quietly when I found I hadn't woken him up.
I had to read the message three times before everything soaked in. That address. I knew that address. Attached was a photo in case I needed to see it to know it. Also, attached was text. "I got a few things involving the matter taken care of. If you go to this warehouse, I'm sure you'll find what you need."
I glanced at the time. Three in the afternoon. "Damn.. we slept that long?" I muttered bitterly. I got up quickly from the messy (in more ways than one) bed and threw on the usual clothes. Black pants; black shirt; my trademark, which was my jacket. I stuffed my knife in the pocket as well, knowing I'd need it.
Afterway out my bedroom door, I suddenly realized that Shizu-Chan will be a problem. "Tch," I noised, jerking back into my room fully. After rummaging through my closet for five minutes, I found rope.
Nodding in approval, but knowing this wouldn't possibly straine him, I walked over to his side of the bed. Rope length after rope length, I tired his wrists up, and worked on his ankles. I discarded the fact that he was being tied up naked.
And as I worked on the left ankle, his eyes opened slowly. He looked me over, realizing what I was doing. "Kinky," he laughed, wiggling around to get more comfortable.
I shook my head, "No. You see, I'm heading out."
Confusion washed over his face. "You're just going to leave me here?"
I nodded, patting his ankle after I finished the task of tying it. I wasn't even off the bed until he asked, "Why?"
I sighed. "I had a lead on who did this to you." I turned to face him, then pointed a finger in his direction. "You better behave while you are tied up too. If I come back to see you broke my bed, you bet your ass I'll tear you up." I smirked, then said, "And if my bed is broken and you're missing, I'll just tear you up even more."
I ignored the heat that was rising to my face, but I couldn't help but laugh. "I'll be back." Probably, I wanted to add.
"W-Wait!" he screamed, and I heard him thrashing around. I got the feeling he thought I was playing, that I actually wasn't going to leave him like that. Well, he thought wrong. "Izaya!" he hollered in the voice he used to use whenever he saw me unexpectedly.
I bit my lip, half tempted to stay and sexually tear him up. But the gray door was standing right in front of me, waiting for me to open it, walk out, and close it again to find that bastard who planned all this out. I inhaled, opening the door. I heard Shizu-Chan scream my name louder and louder, begging me to stay and not leave him. But it was too late. I already slammed the door loud enough so he could hear that I had left.