Here's a new one-shot written on request for eclarefanxxx (check out her work; she's an amazing writer). Title inspired by the song "All In" by Lifehouse. Read, review, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or the song "All In".
"It's okay, babe," I attempted to soothe Clare as she shook against me. I kept smoothing my hand over her hair as I held her against me with my free arm. She was really shaken, considering the claps of thunder and the blinding flashes of lightning that were right outside her window. The rain was pounding on the roof in heavy buckets and the sound of that combined with the thunder made a large amount of noise, causing her to grip the sides of my shirt in horror.
Ever since Fitz came to her house a while ago during that storm, she has had astraphobia . . . the fear of thunder and lightning. I did not understand why, considering he did not hurt her and he was not coming back. However, despite my lack of comprehending, I had been here ever since we had gotten back together to calm her through the storms we had. Today, we were in her room working on something for this internship she was hoping to apply for when we heard the first roll of thunder.
Clare's face turned as white as flour, especially when she gazed out the window to see the dark clouds hiding the blue sky. Once the lightning and rain came, she was on the verge of having a panic attack. I immediately put my arms around her, trying to comfort her to the best of my abilities.
"It's just a bit of thunder, that's all," I whispered to her as I leaned against the headboard of her bed while she buried her head in my shoulder.
"It's so loud," she sobbed. "I can't hear myself think."
"It's okay. It will pass, I promise."
Just then, there was a flash of lightning right outside her house. Squealing, she pulled herself closer to me and she dug her fingernails into my back through my shirt. I held her tighter and smoothed my hand up and down her spine. I turned my head to her window, seeing how the curtains were open so the world outside could be seen clearly. That would not help Clare at all; she needed to block out what was beyond her windows and try to calm down before she made herself physically ill.
I slowly stood up, slowly releasing Clare from my grasp as I slipped from hers.
"W-Where are you going? Don't leave. Please don't leave," she begged.
"I'm not going anywhere," I promised her. "I'm just going to shut your curtains, okay? I'm going to only be a few steps away."
She nodded, watching me through tear-filled eyes. I moved to her windows, closing them as quickly as possible. Once they were closed, I went back over to Clare, who was shaking uncontrollably in her bed. She hugged her knees to her chest, her forehead resting on the fabric of her sweatpants as she wept.
"It's okay," I told her again as I lied back down next to her. As I lied next to her and rested my hand on her waist, she came out of the fetal position and clung herself to me again.
"Please don't leave again," she begged as she buried her face in my chest.
"I didn't go anywhere."
"Don't leave my side."
"I'm right here, Clare. I'm right here."
I held her close as she held on to me. She cried with every bang of thunder and every gust of wind that shook her windows.
"I-I'm scared," she choked.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. We're safe in here."
"No . . . it could ruin it . . . it could ruin everything."
"It's not going to do anything, sweetheart," I whispered to her, gently kissing the top of her head in the process.
"I-It did before."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking down at her.
Clare did not answer, she just continued to cry and sob against my chest. I was worried now; she was refusing to look at me and now she would not answer my questions. She usually did not do this, which caused my concern to go through the roof.
"If there's something wrong, you know you can talk to me, right?" I asked her, running my fingers through the ends of her hair.
Clare sniffled and sobbed some more.
Whenever she said that, she meant that this had been on her mind for some time, but she did not want to talk to me about it because she thought that I would think less of her. Actually, the truth is that Clare could tell me anything from her trivial issues to her biggest fears and I would be there for her; I had already lost her once because I did not listen to her wishes and I was not going to let it happen again, so I swore to myself that I would listen to all her problems and I would do what I could to make them go away or make them better, even if that meant me leaving her for a while. Clare would be worth it though . . . she would always be worth it.
I gently cupped her chin so she could look into my eyes. I met her gorgeous eyes that glistened through the tears; they were bloodshot and her face was covered in trails of tears. I planted a soft kiss on her lips before kissing away her tears before gazing at her eyes.
"You know you can talk to me if you want to," I told her.
She was hesitant, shaking when more thunder made an appearance.
"It's okay," I said softly, caressing her spine again.
"I-I-I . . . I don't want things to change."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"F-Fitz came during a storm . . . after that we . . . we started having problems and . . ."
She started sobbing again, knowing what she was talking about. Once Fitz came to our lives, we started to fall apart and we eventually broke up and it took us so long to reunite. I felt horrible that she was in so much pain, considering Fitz was not around anymore and we did not have to worry about him coming into our lives again. I held her tighter, allowing her head to fall into the crook of my neck.
"He's not coming back, Clare," I told her as I nuzzled on her neck.
"I know, but . . . what if something else happens? I don't want us to lose each other again."
She began crying harder than ever and it broke my heart that she thought these thoughts. Hoping it would give her console, I put my lips on her neck; she always enjoyed it when I did it, and I figured that now was a perfect time to do it. I instantly felt her relax as I planted the loving endearments on her skin; she stopped shaking and she stopped crying.
"If something happens, we'll fix it," I told her against her neck.
"Don't go anywhere," she then begged.
"Don't worry," I said, leaning away to meet her eyes. "I'm not leaving until you want me to."
She grinned at me. I was pleased to see her smiling, even though tears were still dripping out of her eyes.
"I love you so much, Eli."
"I love you too, Clare. I love you very, very, very much."
I then met her lips, kissing them lovingly and reciprocated. After seconds of kissing, I we leaned away and smiled at each other. I moved a strand of hair behind her ear before clearing away a trail made of tears off her cheek.
"I think the storm's over," I told her.
"Oh . . . I guess it is," she said, noticing that the rain, lightning, and thunder had stopped. To my surprise, her smile melted off her face.
"I thought you'd be happy about that."
"I am . . . I just don't want you to stop holding me."
I smiled at her, kissed her nose, and held her tighter.
"I'll hold you for as long as you want."
Sorry it's so short. Reviews?