Another story! HUZZAH (/OAO)/ WARNING: This is similiar to Alice and Wonderland, but it's my version and that itself is a warning. Because I wrote it there will be situations where vital regions are explored or either seized. Read at your own risk!

By the way, the diaoluge between the twins might be a little confusing so follow this rhythm, Feliciano then Romano. Just in case you forget, Romano will always have a bad word or two in his sentence. Enjoy~


"Ve! Who is he?"

I heard people talking but I couldn't see. They sounded awfully familiar too.

"How the fuck should I know?"

"Ve! Maybe he knows how to cook pasta!"

"Feli, we don't know jack-shit about this dude except that he's a cross-dresser."

Crossdresser? Who were they talking about?

"Ve! Fratello! Look! He's waking up!"

I slid open my eyes and sat up. Where was I? And how did I get here? And who were these guys? They seemed to be twins though they looked like opposites. One had a smile, and the other one had a scowl.

"About fucking time! We've been waiting here for hours for your lazy-ass to get up!"

"Ve~Fratello we just found him 5 minutes ago..."

"Shut up! That was a long 5 minutes ago! I could of been sleeping these 5 minutes!"

"Um...May I ask who you two are?"

"No you may not!" Well, the one with a scowl didn't seem to friendly.

"Ve! Fratello! Don't be so mean! Anyways I am Tweedle-Dee and my big brother over here is Tweedle-Dumb!"

"Oh, well I am-" I was rudely interrupted by 'Tweedle-Dumb'.

"The Fuck? I am Tweedle-Dee! You are Tweedle-Dumb!" I turned to look at Tweedle-Dee who was red in the face from shouting at Tweedle-Dumb.

"Ve~I don't want to be Tweedle-Dumb though!"

"Well too fucking bad!"

"Um...Excuse..m-"

"Hmm?" They both questioned simultaneously.

"Do you know where this is?"

"Ve~Where as in this?" I think it was... Tweedle-Dumb asked. That made no sense!

"Where as in where am I?" I answered trying to clear up his confusion.

"Well your in the place that you started, dumbass!" Now Tweedle-Dee answered, looking quite confident about his answer.

"Yes, but I don't-"

"Ve~ Unless the place you think you started isn't actually the place that you started in?" Tweedle-Dumb's answer only confused me futher.

"If you don't know the place that you started in, then wouldn't it make more fucking sense to find out where the place you started in is?"

"W-wait, I'm feeling dizzy..." These two were making no sense! All that these two were doing, was confusing me!

"Ve! I have an idea! Why don't we tell you a story! Yes Fratello! A story we shall tell."

Tweedle-Dee's amber eyes sparkled with interest, "Which story should we tell, all my stories are the fucking best."

"Ve~How about that one?"

"That one?" Tweedle-Dumb nodded enthusiastically. Watching the two peculiar twin's exchange with in interest, I finally decided to speak.

"Which one?"

"Ve! The Carpenter and the Walrus!"

"The who and the what?" I asked, I had never heard a story by the name of that.

"Are you fucking deaf? Damn cross-dresser! The Carpenter and the Walrus!" Even though his words were harsh, Tweedle-Dee didn't seem to mean it, wait...cross-dresser?

"Who are you calling a cross-dresser!" I shouted but my voice came out in a whisper.

"Ve~ It's okay if you like to dress pretty! Sometimes we do too!"

"No we don't damnit! And have you seen what you're fucking wearing?" True to his word, when I looked down...Mother of God! I was wearing a dress! And though I'd rather die than admit it...I looked good in it.

"Ve! Let's get on with the story!"

"Don't fucking rush me!"

"Ve! Once upon a time, where the moon and the sun met," Tweedle-Dumb started.

"There were two fucking bastardos who fished in the ocean." Tweedle-Dee finished.

"And one day when the Carpenter."

"Who was a damn Russian."

"Went down to fish for the Walrus."

"Who was a damn Belarusian."

"He caught a huge oyster and inside it."

"There was a fucking Chinese man."

"The Carpentar didn't want to give him up."

"So being the greedy bastardo that he was."

"He hid his precious mermaid in his shed."

"Convinced that it was damn fate who brought the fucking mermaid to him."

"He told the Walrus to stay out and to stay away."

"This just made the Walrus fucking nosy and curious."

"She secretly loved the Carpenter."

"So being the conceited bitch she was."

"She was convinced it was a surprise meant just for her."

"So one day she ignored her bastardo of a brother's warning and went into the shed."

"There she saw the beautiful mermaid."

"But the only thing she fucking saw."

"Was a a beautiful dish set out by her beloved."

"But that's not the damn ending, the bitch."

"Gobbled up the pretty thing."

"So the Carpentar went bat-shit crazy."

"Legend says that the when."

"The crazy bastardo sees a beautiful thing."

"He will keep it to himself for eternity."

The twins came together and joined hands, bowing. I clapped excitedly, it really was a good story.

"Fuck, we have to go Feli!"

"Ve! I almost forgot!"

There hands still joined they ran off into the woods. Before they were completely out of sight, they gave me a backwards glance and warned me.

"Beware of the Carpentar!"

Confused and a bit shaky, I called back, "Wasn't it just a story?"

Only the wind answered my call. Suddenly I realized I was in the middle of the forest, alone. It seems like the sun just vanished. To break the silence I started speaking to myself.

"Those two! They just created that so called 'legend' to frighten me! Gahh! How do girls prance around in these things!" I complained as my dress got tangled in a bunch of low branches.

"Well it seems like it was bright and sunny moments ago, now it's as dark as night!" Suddenly a cold gust of wind passed through me and I was frozen on the spot. A shiver racked my body as I struggle to calm my erratic heartbeat. Why am I so scared all of a sudden?

"W-who's there?" I called out and cursed my frail voice. "I have a weapon and I'm not afraid to use it!" I threatened, sliding my hand into my pocket-Oh would you look at that! My dress had pockets!- and pretended to grasp my so called 'weapon'.

Finally I heard a sound, well it was more like...*gulp*...laughter..."Kolkolkolkolkol..." The mysterious man cackled, succeeding in scaring the living day lights out of me! Haha, get it? Because it was dark?...Never mind...

The man got closer and closer and closer until our chests were almost touching. He had empty purple eyes, and a sad smile. "My pretty mermaid is no more. You are pretty, will you be my mermaid? If only just for a while?"

It almost broke my heart how distraught he sounded. Like his whole world had been taken away from him. He looked like a lonely child just asking for a playmate. Oh, how I wanted to say yes...but...As they say looks can be deceiving...Oh maple! If I survived the Tweedle twins, than I should be able to survive this man.

What was the worst he could do?


If you didn't understand don't worry about it, that was kinda of the point :) Review and tell me what you think!