I stumbled through large pink colored shrubs, trying my hardest to get past the pesky plants without having my dress shred anymore than it already was. I has lost track of how much time I had spent, endlessly walking around in the seemingly empty forest.

The sun was still high in the sky however, even though it had seemed like hours had passed since I had stormed away from the cruel flowers. I was a sweating mess, but I was thankful that the sun was still out. It was eerily quiet, and I was already creeped out my the desolate area.

Finally getting past the stubborn bush, I took a careful step forward, only to have a trap unleash itself upon me.

A net made out of knotted vines wrapped itself around me and hauled me up, leaving me hanging trapped on a branch of a nearby tree. My heart was pounding loudly in my ears, but I managed to hear rustling in a some nearby bushes. My heart, now too scared to beat properly, leapt up in my throat, as I waited in suspense for my captor to relieve themselves.

A few seconds passed and nothing happened, making me relax in the slightest. Minutes passed and I relaxed completely, thinking it was safe. Big mistake.

My captor sprung out from the bushes and threw a small knife in my direction. I squeezed my eyes shut, but instead of feeling a stabbing pain, I felt the world shift and I found myself on the ground with a sore butt. These people just love throwing me around, huh?

I looked up from my position on the ground to see a figure hovering over me, a skillet held up over their head. The person were chuckling evilly, the large hat she was wearing cast a shadow over her face so I couldn't see her features.

Wait! Her?!

"W-wait!" I finally squeaked just as the skillet came down. It stopped right in front of my face, and I realized how very lucky I was. A skillet in the face would have hurt real bad eh!

The skillet was dropped and the woman dropped to her knees in front of me. She was pretty with her long brown locks, and emerald eyes, but she wore a green suit of a man! She leaned forward and grasped my face with her gloved hands, a worried expression on her face.

"Oh my! I do apologize! I thought you were someone else!" She explained, inspecting my face. Heat rushed to my face at the close proximity between us, and I hurriedly tried to assure her of my wellbeing.

"I-I'm alright! Really eh!" I stammered. Releasing a breath of relief when she finally let go of my face, she stood up and offered me her hand. Now on my feet, I noticed she and I were practically the same height.

How embarrassing eh! I'm suppose to be a man!

Shaking away my pesky thoughts, I looked toward the woman as she picked up her skillet. She looked so nice, I had almost forgotten she was the one who placed that trap in the first place. Not to mention the fact she nearly pummeled me into oblivion with that skillet of hers. With a start I realized she was speaking to me and flushed. The last thing I needed was for her to go all crazy on me and unleash that skillet of hers!

"The proper term is 'mad', and don't worry, I won't be unleashing my skillet on you anytime soon Birdie." She said with a smirk.

I could feel my face turn beet red at her words, ashamed I had been thinking out loud. I sensed no malice behind her words however, and smiled sheepishly at her.

"I'm sorry."

"No need." She replied with a smile. I couldn't help but smile back, grateful for some sane company. Suddenly, a look of shock plastered on the young woman's face, and she reached into her pocket, whipping out a small circular watch.

"Oh dear!" She exclaimed, sticking the watch into her pocket, grabbing my wrist, and taking off running. I stumbled along behind her, trying to keep up.

"W-what's going on?!" I shouted at her, hoping she would hear me over the wind.

"We're almost late for tea!"

Finally, we ran out to a clearing in the forest. Once she let me go, I hunched over and grabbing my knees for support as I gasped for air. I had never really been much of an athletic person...

A series of whistling kettles made me snap my head up to gaze at a very long table. The woman who had dragged me here was sitting at the head, with two other men on either side of her. Finally catching my breath, I noticed her motioning me to take a seat, and awkwardly shuffled over.

Sitting at the other end of the table, I sat down and began my interrogation.

"Who are you? Where are we? Why did you trap me? Who are you trying to trap? And most importantly-"

Abruptly standing and cutting me off, she pointed to her left at a dark haired man with glasses. Upon closer expection, I realized he had two grey ears popping from the top of his head, a thin black tail. He was quietly sipping tea when he looked up to meet my gaze, adjusting his glasses ever so slightly.

"This is the Doormat Mouse." She said with loving affection. The Mouse only nodded in my direction before going back to his tea.

Motioning to her right now, she introduced a buff blonde that had two long, fluffy ears downcast. He too only nodded in my direction, his icy blue eyes greatly intimidating me.

"This is the March Hare. Don't let him intimidate you, he's really a big softie!" She assured, grinning at the Hare as he turned to glare at her. Focusing her attention on me, she climbed on top of the table.

"And I of course, am the Mad Hatter! Welcome to my little tea party!" She announced loudly, ignoring the looks the two men were giving her.

"Um, wouldn't it be Hattress?" I asked, missing the way the Mouse and the Hare whipped their gazes to me, shocked.

The emerald eyed woman look towards me, head cocked to the side in confusion, "What ever do you mean?" She asked, climbing off the table.

"Well, Hatter would be a man, and since you're a woman, I believe the term HATTRESS, would be better suited." I said, feeling a bit sophisticated at my reasoning.

"Are you saying I'm a man?" She asked silently.

It became eerily quiet once again as the Mad Hatter looked down at her feet, her hair covering her face. The Doormat Mouse hurriedly stood up and stepped away from the shaking woman, while the March Hare hopped his way over to me, picked me up, and hopped away.

It was silent for another few tense seconds until, like an explosion, the Hatter screamed and flipped the long table over in her anger.

"I AM A WOMAN!"

I clung to the stoic March Hare in fear, realizing that she lived up to her name.

SHE REALLY IS MAD EH!

For a while after that, the only sound that could be heared was of her harsh panting as she calmed down. The Doormat Mouse took this opportunity to slide next to her and offer her a pat on the back.

"Now, now Hatter. We all know you're a woman. You know how Birdie is, always joking. The guests will arrive for tea any minute now and it would be a shame to keep them waiting. We cannot be late for tea, you should know!" He cooed warmly.

"Okay!" She exclaimed, all traces of her earlier anger gone. She straighted her posture and snapped her fingers, a wide grin on her face.

With a POOF, the table was once again standing upright, and all the dishes that were broken, melted together to form new ones. I was still holding on tightly to the March Hare as he hopped me back to my seat.

Placing me down gently on the chair, his gaze softened a little as he saw me trembling, but it quickly hardened once again.

"What did I just..." I trailed off, trying to process what I had just seen. There goes my supposed 'sane company'.

"It would be best if you didn't know." He answered, and made his way to his own place at the table.

A loud ringing errupted and caught my attention. As quickly as it had started, it stopped and the whole place came alive. From the surrounding forest I saw the Tweedle Twins, the Caterpillar, the White Rabbit, and others come out.

They all took a seat aroung the table, idly chatting amongst themselves. All had warm grins on their faces, even the Carpentar! I made sure not to make eye contact with him though. No matter how happy he seemed, he could still attack at any given moment!

Looking aroung the table, I saw the Tweedle Twins. One of them -I forgot who was who- was clinging onto a blushing March Hare, and the other bashing a plate over a tanned man's head.

Shaking my head at the two, I noticed idly at the Chesire Cat was no where to be found. Wasn't he with the White Rabbit?

Speaking of the White Rabbit, where in the maple is he?

"Hey Birdie!" A voice whispered loudly from below.

I jumped, and quickly looked around the table to make sure nobody was looking before ducking my head under the table. Lo and behold, there was the white devil himself. Bending awkwardly to avoid hitting himself as he was too big to be hiding under a table, he grinned at me and waved enthusiastically.

I rolled my eyes, trying to hold back my smile. I was still pretty annoyed at him for chasing me around the whole day, but I couldn't help but feel a bit touched that he was so adamant in gaining my attention. He's always been such a sweetheart...

Wait.

ALWAYS?!

I shook my head to clear my lovesick thoughts, and sent the White Rabbit a glare, to which he pouted at. Straightening myself up, I reached for my cup. My stomach growled and I realized I hadn't really eaten anything. What with all the confusion and running away, it had completely slipped my mind just how hungry I was.

However, before I could reach over and snatch a piece of cake from the many treats the Hatter had been so kind to share, I felt something slither up my legs and onto my thighs. I squeaked a bit, and tried to kick, but the attacker had a firm grip on me. Making sure nobody was looking my way, I snapped my head down and there was the white-haired devil himself!

...In between my thighs.

Heat exploded in my cheeks as I tried to shut my legs, but he was hellbent on keeping them open. He flashed me a smirk before he began sliding his hand under my dress. I immediately froze, and just my luck, the Hatter turned my way to see my flushed face.

"Dear, are you okay?" She asked, making half the table turn and give their full attention to me.

I heard the White Rabbit give out a strange laugh as he found out that I had been forced to go commando. I fumbled with my words as he grabbed a hold of my arousal.

"Ah, um...I-I'm..fah..fine.." I replied, trying my hardest to keep my composure.

The Hatter looked less than convinced, and seemed to have a vague idea of what was going on. Embarassed, I went to give another kick to the White Rabbit, until I felt his hot breath hit my unmentionables. My hands dropped the piece of cake I was holding, and shot out under the table to in an attempt to keep his head away from my privates.

"I don't think you are, Birdie." She stated, with a brow raised.

The Hatter once again descended upon the table and began to walk towards me, eyes narrowed. At this point, I began panicking. The White Rabbit had his head in between my thighs and trying his hardest to give me a blowjob. I don't think the Hatter would like that very much, so in a fit of fright I shouted something completely off topic.

"Where's the Chesire Cat?!" I yelled.

Suddenly, the Chesire Cat just happened to mysteriously appear from thin air. He landed gracefully beside me, in all his naked glory. The Doormat Mouse turned at that moment, his chocolate eyes landing on the flirtatious cat.

Then it happened.

The Doormat Mouse gave a shrill scream and seemed to have exploded with a POOF! Once the dust disappeared however, a small brown mouse had taken his place. The Chesire Cat's eyes dilated and he bellowed a cat-like noise before he too, jumped onto the table. And the chase gave way.

With that chaos was unleashed.

The two scurried all over the table, smashing the silverware and making a mess of the sweets. The Mad Hatter started chasing after the Chesire Cat, armed with her trusty skillet, and spouting profanities left and right. Everyone seemed to start yelling amongst themselves too, and at one point, the Carpentar flipped over the table to prove a point.

I hurriedly sprung up from my chair at that point, my arousal long gone. The White Rabbit was still on the ground, pouting for all his worth. I was about to go talk to him until the Tweedle Twins decided it would be fun to start throwing the remaining plates and cups. And everyone thought that too because soon they joined too.

Let me remind you that the plates and cups were made of GLASS.

After ducking and narrowly missing a teapot that was thrown at me, I decided that it was every man for himself. White Rabbit be damned. So taking refuge under an overturned chair, I waited for all this madness to end.

It didn't take long.

Another loud POOF! caught the attention of everyone, and we all turned to the cause of the sound. There amidst the rubble, stood a tall individual that looked strikingly familiar. With a gasp, I realized he looked almost exactly like me. Except he blue eyes as opposed to my violet ones, was taller than me, and was in way better shape. Not to mention he had two dog-like ears atop his head. The stranger took a look around at the mess and gave a low whistle.

"Damn, looks like I missed the party."


Characters:

Mad Hatter - Hungary

Doormat Mouse - Austria

March Hare - Germany

Caterpillar - Cuba

Carpentar - Russia

Tweedle Twins - North & South Italy

I did it! I actually updated this story! I am sooooo sorry it took so fucking long! But now it's here, so love it, enjoy it. Review/Favorite/Follow if you wish!

I had this horrible throat infection, my case of dysmorphophobia is getting worse, and I might have glycoma(?). It's really fun being me. But I'm back, and I am alive. ((Also I'm on summer vacation so I have a bit of free time.))

Oh! Before I forget, Kuro-Riya made a thing for me! And it's beautiful! Check out their fanart on

notto- jisu -shitto -agen. tumblr image/ 52940580852

just get rid of the spaces and done! Anyways thanks so much for waiting, I hope ya liked it!

-Empress