Hmmmm. Well, I'm not sure what to say. I honestly don't. Oh well. Anyways! I had this idea as well floating around in my head, so I thought I would write it out as well, I'm going to try to make this one more humorous then the last two. And no. It does not have anything to do with games. Lol. This takes place during the 3 year wait of the andriods, Vegeta is still learning about the human culture, and what exactly humans do with their lives.
I don't own DragonBall Z. I own two wolf hybrids. One has a mowhawk on the back of her neck.
She's my baby.
Anyways! I had this idea as well floating around in my head, so I thought I would write it out as well, I'm going to try to make this one more humorous then the last two.
And no. It does not have anything to do with games. Lol.
This takes place during the 3 year wait of the andriods, Vegeta is still learning about the human culture, and what exactly humans do with their lives.
It was three a.m. in the fucking morning. The gravity machine is broken and needs to be repair and upgraded. That baka Onna promised me she would get right on it at seven a.m. in the morning if I let her sleep tonight. I never thought I kept her up, I figured she just didn't want me to ride her ass about fixing the damn machine like I used to do. She has proven to keep her word everytime, whether its fixing the machine on time, cleaning my dirty garments, or even fixing me my dinner without it tasting that bad when her mother isn't around. I prefer it that way. Her mother isn't normal. No one in this god forsaken universe can ever be that happy all the time. I insult her, she smiles, Bulma insults her, she smiles. Even the Doctor sometimes makes a comment about her, and she still smiles and laughs. I don't get it. It must be some kind of Earth drug or whatever. I'm relieved that the Onna hasn't taken the drug yet.
I don't need another idiot with their head so far up their ass that they are getting high from their own gas. Disgusting.
I can't sleep, and my thought process just won't stop. I can't stop thinking. I'm starting to wonder if the mother had poisoned my food. I felt a smirk tug at my lips, wouldn't be the first time someone tried to poison the Prince of all Sayians. I shook my head, I already stretched, I did all my punches and kicks in the air, I even meditated. I ate as well.
What was it that humans do when they are bored? They turn on that screen, with the images. Yes, thats it.
I walked into the kitched and searched the cabinets, I found what I was looking for and tore off the wrapper. I stuck the bag into the radioactive machine. I do not care what the Onna calls it. I don't trust it. But I am hungry, so I let the machine win, just this once.
I pressed the 'popcorn' button and wait for three minutes as I get out a bowl from another cabinet. Once the machine bings I growl at it and tense up, waiting for an explosion. But nothing happens. Then again none of the Onna's machines really explode unless I make them explode. Just like those stupid bots. They were once useful, but now they are no help with my training. The Onna is trying to figure out how to create some sort of hologram that can produce Ki blasts. That impressed me. But once I see that its done, well then, I will be the judge of how they work. I just smirked again.
I ripped the bag open and shook it over the bowl, letting the yellow tuffs fall into it. I popped a few in my mouth, biting down on the crunchy morsels. I don't understand Earth food, but it tastes so good.
I threw out the waste, not wanting to her the Onna bitch about something else. I'm getting a headache just thinking about it.
I grabbed the bowl and headed into a living room, I looked for the balck square that controls the stupid screen. I couldnt find the blasted thing anywhere.
I looked towards the screen and pointed, "Turn on this instant!"
It did nothing, the black screen starred at me, taunting me, mocking me.
Then it clicked in my head as I remembered that the Doctor normally pressed a button as well when he couldnt find the square.
I walked over to the screen and squatted down, to get eye level with it. I looked at it and saw more then one button. What the fuck?
So I just pressed the biggest button, and it worked, but the bright light stung my eyes. I stood up and raised my hand ready to blast it to hell. Then I remembered once again, that this machine will not harm me. Nothing in the Onna's house will harm me. She promised. She keeps her word. I growled.
I starred at the screen watching the images, I knew that you could change the images, but I did not know how. I never used this thing before. I refuse to ask the Onna for help. Not right now, It would delay the gravity machine. I grew frustrated and put my head in my hands running my fingers through my hiar. My mother would always do that to calm me down. It works.
I sucked it up and leaned back on the couch and just starred at the screen. There was an icon at the bottom of the screen. It said MTV. Once again I never really saw this. I just assumed that the Onna would watch these shows.
I rolled my eyes, and stretched my self out on the couch, trying to get comfortable, I grabbed a blanket that was hanging of the back side and pulled it onto me. I starred at the screen and saw a couple humans standing there, screaming at each other inside a house. Is that all these humans do, is scream at each other? I just chuckled as I thought of the Onna being involved with the situation.
Then I heard someone say 'the situation' I glared at the screen, thinking that it was a mind reader. But as I still continued to watch, it was just some jerk-offs name. The Situation. What kind of name is that? I was puzzled.
It seemed like he was the one who started the trouble to begin with.
This other jerk-off, called Ronnie, which sounds somewhat normal, and him where starting to get into a real fight. I smirked thinking it was going to be a full on brawl.
Humans. so pitiful fighters. But I shrugged and watched anyways. Then it happened so quick. the damn moron Situation ran his head into a wall.
Just... What the fuck did I just see? Two humans are arguing and getting ready to fight and pushing each other, then some guy runs his head into the wall, now being carried into the hospital by more humans.
What the fuck? Is this how humans fight? That would explain Yamcha. Fucking idiot. I bet he would do the same thing.
I watched these episodes of the show called Jersey Shore for a couple hours.
I am so fucking confused, Theres these two short ass girls, shorter then badly, and Kakarot's Brat.
One is a "Snookie" and the other one is named Deena. I don't know what that other one's name is though. Everyone just calls her Snookie.
But what the fuck is a Snookie? It sounds like some creature that would shriek, and then suck your blood like those glittering vampires the Onnas always makes fun of.
Still... A fucking Snookie? Is it an animal that is hunted down?
It might as well be since the two call each other meatballs.
Meatballs are food, and sometimes humans hunt their food.
Maybe, The Snookie is what meatballs are made of.
My eyes are now wide with horror. I've eaten plenty of nasty things in my life but looking at this 'Snookie' I certainly did NOT want to eat that.
And I've eaten a ton of meatballs since I've been here. What the fuck? I growl. I started to trust the Onna, but really she is just a cannibal.
Disgusting. All humans must be cannibals. Her whole family are cannibals. Even the Clown... I thought he was just and idiot, but really, they are all eating The Snookie.
Tricking me into eating Snookie as well. WHAT THE FUCK.
I am a Prince!
I stood up and roared with my Ki circling me. I am furious, how dare the Onna try to trick me on several occasions. And whats worse, she did trick me. Nobody fools the Prince! Nobody does and gets away with it.I run up to her room roaring as I do, I don't give a shit about the gravity machine. I will not be eating any more Snookies!
I break down her door and she jumps out of bed screaming in fright.
"ONNA! JUST WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN FEEDING ME?" I roared.
"Wait what.." She asked with confusion, "Vegeta its almost five in the morning, please let me go back to bed."
"No way!" I yelled as I went over to her and grabbed her and slammed her against the wall, a little rough but enough to scare her.
"You will tell me what are in those meatballs right now." I glared at her.
She just looked at me first with fear, then with utter confusion, then she started to laugh at me. First she tricks me now she is laughing in my face because now I know her secret.
"I have no idea whay you are bringing this up now Vegeta, but its meat." The Onna stated with a yawn.
"Exactly, meat but what kind of meat?" I gritted my teeth, not wanting to play head games.
"You know cows, you've seen them before." She said again with a yawn.
"Do not lie to me Onna. I know what they are made of. I'll give you one last chance to tell me the truth, what are in those meatballs?" I whispered in her ear. I could feel the goosebumps on her arms as she shivered with fright.
"I'm not lying to you Vegeta, I never have, they are made out of cow meat." She said quietly. "Why are you asking me this and so serious about it anyways? At five a.m.? Really?
"Onna." I started to bite my lip with growing anger. "I just saw a show on that damn screen downstairs, and there was a 'Snookie' her and the little Deena where doing some ritual dance and calling themselves meatballs."
She looked up with my with pure confusion and then once again started to laugh at me. I growled.
"ONNA! You are a sick fuck, your whole race, just sickening. You sacrafice humans and Snookies to become meatballs! DISGUSTING! What the fuck is a Snookie anyways? Is it some sort of special ingredient? You made me eat meatballs! You made me eat humans! AND A FUCKING SNOOKIE! WHAT THE FUCK IS A SNOOKIE?"
At this point the Onna was laughing so hard she was crying. I still did not find this amusing, but I let her go and watched her as she fell to the floor laughing.
I growled and started to walk away.
"Vegeta! Wait" The Onna said inbetween laughs.
I sighed and turned towards her, waiting for her explaination.
"A," She cleared her throat trying to stop the laughter, "A Snookie is a person."
"So meatballs are just made out of humans? Thats still disgusting Onna." I growled.
"No, no let me finish Vegeta. What you saw is not real, its called reality TV." Bulma said with a small smile.
"Bullshit Onna, you just said it was reality, so that means its real." I clenched my fists. To think I acually trusted this baka.
She stood up and walked to her bed and sat down and sighed. "Come sit with me Vegeta and I will explain why certain humans are complete morons."
I just starred at her, then walked over to the opposite side of her bed and sat down. "Start talking Onna."
"Okay. Well I'm not sure who came up with the idea to call fake TV shows Reality TV. Its an oxymoron really. And Snookie is just a nickname for the girl her name is really Nicole. Her and Deena, are very short little italian girls. Meatballs are italian food, so they thought it would be cute to call them selves meatballs, since they are so small compared to their housemates. But its all fake Vegeta, they drink and go partying at clubs like most humans do. Its fun for most people." She explained slowly making sure I caught every word.
I looked down and felt heat on my cheeks. I felt like a moron. Is this how Kakarot feels like everyday of his life?
"Does that help Vegeta?" She asked while looking at me in the eyes.
"Hmph. That does, but not about my next question." I said as my eyebrow twitched.
"Well whats your question?" The Onna asked sweetly. Maybe she did take those drugs her mother has taken, she normally would have been pissed that I woke her up.
"Do all human males, when they fight, if they are weaker, do they show the other one dominance by running their heads into walls?" I asked with curiosity.
"What? No...Why?" The Onna asked while yawning again.
"Because this Situation jerk-off ran his head into the wall while fighting Ronnie." I stated.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! I love that episode!" The Onna said, "but to tell you the truth Vegeta, I don't know why he did that. He's just...stupid. Really. Stupid." She said with a smile.
"Like Yamcha?" I asked with a smirk.
"Yeah like Yamcha, he's a jerk like him as well." The Onna said with a small smile.
Stupid male. Its never wise to ever dissapoint your soon to be mate or whatever. There always needs to be a sense of pride when you are with someone. Not going around to other women and using them as fucks. Thats not even a real male.
I frowned, then I started to yawn as well.
The Onna's bed was more comfertable then mine. Maybe thats why I'm having such bad sleeping problems.
"Onna I desire a bed like yours. Its softer, mines too firm." I said, wanting to just lay in her bed. I'm so tired.
"Well that can be taken care of, I'll order you one today. After I finish your gravity machine." She stated. I just smirked. my eyes were starting to sting from me being tired.
"Don't worry, I'll let this slide one time Vegeta, this was sort of like an emergency for you, thinking we were feeding you our own kind and all. But don't wake me up this early ever again. Promise?" She asked as she stretched.
"I give you my word Onna." I said softly.
She looked at me and must have noticed how tired I was. And it must have clicked in her head why I wanted a new bed.
"Vegeta, why don't you get some rest, the gravity machine won't be done by tonight, You can sleep in my bed til your new one comes, okay?" She said while gently getting up, and leaving while I crawled into her bed, I laid my head onto her pillow and pulled the blankets over me. It was a long night.
So, I also don't own Jersey Shore, or anything like that. So yay.