A/N: On the "Ask the Squishykins" tumblr, Twinings and I are currently offering ourselves up for two full weeks of filling fic prompts for our readers, varying in length from a hundred to a thousand-plus words. The project has been dubbed the Free For All Fic For All—or FFAFFA for short. This is one of those stories—and this is the boilerplate author's note you'll see on all of 'em. The current round of FFAFFA runs until July 15th, so if you want a custom fic written to any particular specifications, drop by and ask for it!

Prompt: Dorothy's house lands in Gotham, Scarecrow is the first person she meets. And the last.

WARNINGS: Cruelty to animals and violence towards a minor. Be advised.


There was something humping Jonathan Crane's leg.

He fought his way out of the pile of garbage that he'd been thrown in by the muggers who'd tangled with him—muggers whose bodies littered the alleyway—picking off slimy banana peels and coffee grounds, and came face to face with the animal that had made friends with his smelliest pair of holey socks. Two small beady eyes stared up at him from a friendly furry face, its pink tongue hanging grotesquely out from between its panting little jaws as it mindlessly thrust itself against him.

Without a thought, he kicked aside the little black dog that had been molesting his ankle. It yelped and whimpered when it slammed into the green metal dumpster in the alleyway.

"Toto?" The voice was distant, but not distant enough for Crane's liking. "Toto?"

A little girl, all innocent pigtails and gingham, sprinted past the mouth of the alley. The dog—Toto, presumably—barked at her and she doubled back, just in time to see the Scarecrow scooping him up by the scruff of the neck.

"Toto! Oh, Toto! You put him down, you horrible man!"

Crane tightened his grip. "And if I don't?"

She looked lost for a moment, her mind obviously groping desperately for anything she could use as a threat. "I'll…I'll scream!"

"Will you?" He shook the dog a little and couldn't help but be amused at the things her face did.

"I will! I'll scream and scream and scream!"

The girl couldn't see the Scarecrow's smile with his mask in the way. With a flick of his wrist, he threw Toto at her, as well as a handful of toxic dust. She caught both.

"Yes," he said as her eyes filled with raw panic, she dropped to her knees and the dog in her arms squirmed, snapping its teeth at imaginary monsters. "You most certainly will."