Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or story involved.
Summery: After being trapped for so long in Hell, Lucifer forgot how much he can really feel. (Based on 5x19/Spoilers for 5x19 and potentially everything up until)
Feeling had been abandoned long ago. Eons of being caged deep in Hell had stripped him of his remorse and his love for his three siblings. Lucifer was aware that he had an entire Heaven of Angel brethren, but none had he held as high in his heart as he did Michael, Gabriel and Raphael.
But that was too long ago.
Now he had the bottom-feeding 'children' of fire and torture, Demons. He could destroy them all with a mere thought, a breath. The idea of unmaking his beings pleased him. Especially the ones who threw themselves at his feet pleading his name, crying out, "Father!" as they laid eyes on him.
Their devotion was beautifully destructive.
He never broke stride slaughtering his way into the Elysian Fields hotel, the so-called gods fell before him, their blood painting the walls. Eyes blank, not even a smile. His senses were weak, he felt another one of his kind, an Angel - but he never thought... he never wanted...
He was better, stronger.
Something twisted in his gut as his fist connected with Kali. He could feel the other Angel stronger, it wasn't a low-ranking Cherub, or that falling soldier, Castiel. This was strong, and it was familiar in ways he didn't know were still possible for him. Something tugged at his mind like a child tugging at the ends of his mother's dress.
Or a little brother begging for attention.
He saw past the vessel as the other Angels grace revealed itself, "Luci, I'm home...", he moved forward, caught between killing his brother or embracing him. Gabriel raised his sword, betting on the former. The young Archangels' arm shook, his bodies, both vessel and Angelic, tensed as he kept himself between the mortals and the heavenly pariah.
It melted as soon as those mud monkeys were safe.
Gabriel never lied, sure he spun the truth on occasion, but his eyes always gave away his falsehoods. Lucifer watched them intently, searching for any indication his brother didn't believe what he was saying (and maybe looking for the warmth they used to hold for him). Instead he was met with a hard coldness, a detachment, as though Gabriel was no longer seeing his older brother, but instead the monster who would kill him.
Gabriel's words were always careful.
The smaller hand wrapped around Lucifers arm, but he was prepared for anything (almost). He was ready to face the fear, the scorn filled words from his dying brother. He wasn't ready for the betrayal and memories to swim across the messengers eyes as the grace exploded within him.
He wasn't ready to feel remorse
"Gabriel? Gabriel!" Lucifers voice was the loudest across Heaven as he soared high above the lower-ranking Angels. He was charged to keep his newest brother safe for the day, Michael out fulfilling their fathers will, Raphael tasked with something similar. He was tasked with watching little Gabriel, and he lost him. Panic throbbed in the center of his grace, what if Gabriel was hurt (not possible for an Archangel, but still), what if Gabriel was lost, what if Gabriel fell to Earth and his wings were not strong enough to take him back? Lucifer tried (and failed) to push the thoughts out of him mind. 'Maybe Joshua has seen him,' he murmured to himself, pausing in the air. He turned quickly for the garden, knocking a smaller Angel off his feet with his wings. He landed in a run, long legs carrying him across the grass with a speed he didn't know he possessed without flying. Joshua was in the middle of the garden, as per usual, and Lucifer ground to a halt, "Joshua, oh thank my Father, Joshua have you seen...Gabriel!" The young Archangel was standing on a tree branch, fruitlessly attempting to haul himself up onto another one, "Oh, Gabriel what in all of Heaven are you doing?"
Gabriel turned his innocent eyes up to his older brothers, "Climbing, why, Luci?"
Lucifers panic bled into laughter, sweet and pure, "Gabe, Gabe, Gabe, you've got to use your wings to give you a little boost," He gently unfurled one of Gabriel's speckled wings, revealing pine cones filled with the ever-staining stardust, "Or, use a tree with more branches if you plan on painting Michael."
Gabriel blinked, he'd expected punishment, but instead Lucifer laughed, "I'll have to teach you all my tricks, little brother."
The two of them hide for some time afterwards.
Lucifer had many wings, each set a separate color (Gabriel called them his 'Mood Wings'), but he kept them simple as he stood next to each other. "Alright, Gabriel, are you sure you're ready? We can wait a millennia or two, or Michael can teach you if you want."
The younger brother stretched his wings as far as they would go, they were a pale gold - light catching them and making them shine brighter then Lucifer had ever seen on an angel before.
Lucifer rolled his shoulders, his wings were a deep, royal blue - the same color as the oceans his father built on Earth, he smiled down, "What does this one mean, Gabe?"
"You're happy," Gabriel smiled, and he couldn't have been more right. Lucifer gave a short chuckle before gazing down at the green hills far below them, "The first rule of flying, little brother, trust yourself." Gabriel followed his gaze, eyes widening and wingtips twitching in fear, Lucifer continued, "But if you can't do that yet, then just trust me, I'll never let you fall.
The only thing Lucifer would ever consider a lie.
He stormed out of the garden, wings unfurling, a coal-black that faded to gray at the tips. He took air with only a growl back to where Michael stood. Ignorant, overly-devout little soldier. How could he never question, how could he never doubt? They were there first, how could something so flawed and annoying be better than us? Heaven was always filled with Angels of all ranks, very few passages and places offered privacy, even for an Angel of the highest order. He pushed past a few of the ones responsible for 'watching the Earth', trying to fume in peace. Wherever he was, there wasn't another Angel in sight, so he pressed himself up against a tree, still shaking in anger at his older brother.
Sinking down, he bumped into something small and warm, he recoiled, frustration light anew in the fact that he couldn't be alone for even a moment of his everlasting life. The Angel curled into itself, grace pulling away and wings wrapping around the Angel, protecting it from the other Archangels rage. Even as it shrunk away in fear, Lucifer recognised it, and, tentatively, he reached out a hand, "Gabriel?"
All of the older Arcangel's rage and frustration melted away, as his brother peeked out between feathers, "Are you and Michael done fighting?"
"You heard that?" Lucifer's heart sank, the things he said, the last thing he wanted was for his innocent brother to hear them, "Gabe, Michael and I, we don't see the same on Humans. I, I can't promise we're done fighting right now, but we will be soon."
Gabriel pulled his wings apart, and stood, he wasn't nearly as old as Lucifer, but their wingspan was nearing matching (And Gabriel was already letting Lucifer win races), "Luci, you can't leave, you can never leave and leave me behind." Lucifer pulled Gabriel into a tight embrace, "I'll never leave you alone, you're my brother and I love you."
And I still do.
Gabriel's wings, still longer than most of Lucifers, burned into the ground of the dusty hotel. He stepped back, regret and remorse like a punch to the center of his mangled grace. He was stripped of remorse in the cage, but Gabriel and had ripped away at his scarred and leathered emotions, finding more. His breathing was as shaky as the sword his little brother raised against him only moments ago. The memories brought forth pain, pain that melted away his anger. Just like Gabriel did for him in Heaven. Foreign tears welled in his eyes and a sob clawed up his throat, but he swallowed them both.
Because the Devil doesn't cry (but Luci does).
A/N: Please leave your reviews or comments :) I always thought the only time Lucifer looked like he regretted/mourned anything, was when he was looking down at Gabriel after he killed him. I like 'Mood Wings' can we make this a real thing?