One can be surprised at how your life can changed in twelve years. Twelve years ago I was in surrounded by the love of two men, brothers. I was married to one man that I loved, but I now see it was a pragmatic kind of love a practical love. Because the brother that truly loved was forbidden to me, he was a priest. My feelings for him were stronger; he was my best friend. Now I when I look back, I know that my husband should have been my best friend. My priest our love was an unconditional, and with more passion then I even knew then. I know this now, since that love for the priest has not gone away even after I left them both over a decade ago it is still there and only stronger. I left the small California beach town of Sunset Beach and my husband Ricardo and the love of my life Antonio, my true love.

I Gabriella Martinez, left the only place I had at that point in my life had called home and in some ways always will. If you believe your home is where your heart is and my heart will forever be with Antonio. I did start down a new road in my life that day one of the nuns at the mission that Antonio served at told me of a recovery and reform school for teenage girls "San Dwynwen's : La casa del corazón solitario" was looking for a secretary/ dorm mother. I got the job and moved to northern California in Alpine County, far from all I loved and started a new life.

It was at San Dwynwen I found my calling as counselor working alongside the Ursuline Sisters. It was Reverend Mother Trinity Rain, who encouraged me

go to college and then grad school and to get my PhD. in Psychology to help my girls even more and I became Dr. Gabi. My life has settled in carrying for

many girls, who pasts are like my own in so many ways. San Dwynwen' s is not just a school but a fully functioning Ranch and Orchard, where everyone

from youngest student to the oldest sister works to keeps thing running. It's here I have learned to do everything from riding horseback and learning what

fruit can grow where to chopping wood and mucking stalls. This school has become my life in the day, but when I close my eyes at night my dreams go back

to that night when I thought I would die. When Antonio and I gave into our passions and made love. I still can feel his strong arms around me, the taste of

lips on my, his skin on my skin, his sent seems to be on every wind, the sound of his voice as he said the words that hunted me, 'The one thing that will never

die ever is the way I feel about you, I love you Gabi and I always will no matter what,' I know now Antonio is my soulmate.