Stewarts Galore (9/AU 9)

"Do you think he'll like me?" the Professor wondered as she and the Doctor walked hand in hand through London, the Doctor absently swinging their arms between them

"No," he said instantly, laughing when he saw her pout, "He'll LOVE you. Like I do."

"Hopefully not as much as you do," she joked as they reached their destination, UNIT's headquarters.

"No one could love you as much as I do," he told her quietly.

"Good," she nodded, "Because no one could love your schnoz as much as I do," she nudged him.

He just rolled his eyes and pushed the doors open, striding in as though he owned the place. She had to laugh when she caught sight of quite a few UNIT members staring at them in curiosity. They must look a sight. A big, brooding man in a black leather jacket, sharp featured, holding the hand of a petite blonde girl in a green dress with white daisies on it and brown boots, just walking through a rather secure area of London. Well, it was quite easy to get in when one had a sonic screwdriver and a piece of psychic paper…and a UNIT ID as the Doctor hadn't resigned.

"Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart!" the Doctor cheered, seeing JUST the man they were looking for speaking to a young woman holding a clipboard.

The Brigadier turned around, frowning as he took in the two people striding over to him, "Yes? Who are you?"

The Doctor smirked, "You know, if you weren't such a pompous self-opinionated idiot you'd have worked that out by now," he paused a moment and looked at the Professor, "We should reconsider calling you Katherine Stewart, you're FAR more brilliant than he is."

The Professor laughed, "He's a human Doctor, even YOU can't think as fast as me."

"Doctor?!" the Brigadier gaped at him, "Is it really you?"

"Yep," he laughed, slapping his cheeks a bit, "New face."

"I hardly recognized you," the Brigadier remarked, "Your accent...I thought you were just someone from the north come to join up."

"Oi! Lots of planets have a north!"

The Brigadier just laughed at that and held out a hand to shake his, "It's about time old chap!"

The Doctor beamed and shook the Brigadier's hand eagerly, excited, "Where are we then?"

The Brigadier shook his head, "If you weren't such an arrogant, self-righteous sod you'd have worked that out by now," he countered with a smirk.

"Oh I LIKE him," the Professor laughed, "Definitely not changing my name after that."

The Doctor pouted.

"And who is your lovely companion?" the Brigadier smiled, reaching out to kiss the back of the Professor's hand, inwardly smirking when he saw the Doctor glowering at him, almost sounding like he was growling as well.

"NOT a companion," the Doctor cut in, tugging the Professor back to his side, putting his arm around her shoulders as he smiled at her, "My Bonded."


"Um…wife?" the Professor supplied, knowing that it was as close as a human could get in defining what she was to the Doctor, even though she was FAR more than that.

The Brigadier shook his head at the Doctor, "I dare say you disappoint me Doctor. I should have liked to attend the wedding but no matter, follow me," he turned to lead them down a corridor, guiding them through the base and into a rather nice office.

"You've redecorated again," the Doctor remarked, looking around, "I don't like it. It's worse than before!"

"I think it's lovely," the Professor countered, smiling at the Brigadier who looked just a little irritated with the Doctor. Sometimes there was just no pleasing the man.

'YOU please me,' the Doctor's voice cut in her mind, 'ALL the time,' he smirked, pulling her closer, 'In EVERY way.'

She blushed rather terribly at that implication.

Which just made him beam in a smug way, he really did LOVE seeing that shade of red on her cheeks.

"To celebrate!" the Brigadier cheered, handing them each a small glass of sherry he'd poured while the Doctor looked around and teased the Professor.

"Oh…" the Professor smiled bashfully, "I um…I really shouldn't," she moved to put the glass down.

"Oh no," the Doctor smirked, stopping her with a gentle hand, "You really should."

"Doctor," she huffed a little, before whispering to him, "You know how I get when I drink!"

"Yes I do," he nodded, "Yes, I do," his smirk turning more devious as his eyes seemed to darken with another emotion, "And I find it very…pleasing…as well."

She let out a mock-offended huff and whacked him lightly on the chest. She was a rather…flirty drunk. They'd recently picked up a new companion, Jack Harkness, from 1941 and the man had somehow talked them into a drinking competition. It had ended up…well…Jack was STILL sleeping off his hangover it had been that wild. They'd discovered that THIS version of her was even more…focused on the Doctor than she normally was. And quite the lightweight apparently. It was like she only needed one whiff of alcohol and she'd end up drunk.

Which was something the Doctor apparently LOVED.

She just put her drink down, best not scar the poor Brigadier just yet. It was clearly early-ish in the man's timeline, he looked rather young, but still very well off in UNIT. She honestly wasn't sure what point in the man's timeline they had popped up in, what adventures he'd had or would have. The Doctor was rather bad at keeping track.

"So," the Doctor began, moving to sit on a chair, tugging the Professor down beside him as the Brigadier took a seat at his desk, "What's new with you Ally."

"Don't call me Ally," the Brigadier said, before continuing, "I've recently been promoted in UNIT, not by rank but I've been given more responsibility, more control over the workings, more time to effectively train the soldiers."

The Professor nodded, "You're having some trouble aren't you?"

That 'effectively' just then, and the fact he needed time to do it left her wondering.

He sighed, "Yes, quite a few of our new recruits can't seem to pass weapons control as quickly as we'd like."

"They've never even touched a gun before then?" she guessed.

"Not at all."

She thought a moment, "Try giving them a desk or a shelf."

The Brigadier blinked, "A…what?"

"Set them up behind a desk or put a shelf in front of them," she explained, "Just something with a flat surface that they can rest their guns on. Have them fire at a target a few times, letting them see how the position of the gun reaches the target. Then…remove the desk but tell them to imagine that flat surface is still there."

The Brigadier blinked again, "That is…genius!"

The Professor smiled at the praise, she was rather hoping she could impress the Brigadier. The Doctor had named her after the man and claimed it was because the man's brilliance reminded him of her. She'd hoped to show off just a little of that, prove that they were both deserving of the Doctor's praise.

"Of course she is," the Doctor beamed at her, "She could take YOU out Ally."

"Don't call me Ally," the Brigadier shook his head, "What do you mean, take me out? Take me out where?"

The Doctor laughed.

"He means, I could best you in combat," the Professor explained.

The Brigadier eyed her, "I beg your pardon my dear, but I hardly think you'd be able to do that. I have spent a good many years building up my military prowess and reaching the rank I am now. You…" he eyed her, "You look as though you couldn't hurt a fly."

"Don't let the pretty flower dress fool you," the Doctor countered, sounding so serious that the Brigadier gave pause, "She'd have you on your back in 5 seconds."

"3," the Professor corrected, though she shifted a bit. She wasn't particularly fond of being able to do that.

'Unless it's me though,' the Doctor's voice spoke in her mind, 'Then you're all too eager.'

She blushed even worse this time.

'Stop that!' she whisper-hissed to him silently.

"Why do you say…" the Brigadier began, when his door suddenly flew open.

"Daddy!" a small yellow and pink blur whizzed past the Time Lords and launched itself into the Brigadier's arms, making him laugh.

"Hello Kate," the Brigadier smiled at the small girl they could now see had climbed into his lap, the man turning her to sit more comfortably. She was adorable, short blond hair, slightly bobbed, with wide brown eyes, and…a miniature UNIT uniform on.

"Who're they?" Kate asked, looking between her father and the Time Lords.

"Kate," he began, "Meet…the Doctor!"

Kate's eyes widened as she stared at the man, her little mouth dropping open, "Really?"

"Hello," the Doctor grinned and waved, setting down his drink, "And who might you be?"

"I'm Katherine Stewart!" the girl cheered.

"Well what do you know," the Professor smiled, leaning forward, "So am I."

"Stewarts galore," the Doctor laughed, looking at the three 'Stewarts' before him.

"Who are you?" Kate looked up at the Professor.

"I'm the Professor," she reached out a hand to shake Kate's, "Pleased to meet you."

"Are you going to work for UNIT too?" Kate asked the Professor, making the connection between her title and the Doctor's and what that might mean about the woman's species, what a clever girl.

"Oh, I'm not sure."

"Please do," Kate pleaded, "When I'm all grown up, I'm gonna run UNIT!"

"Oh are you?"

Kate nodded, "I'm gonna be the best soldier ever!"

The Professor's smile fell at that.

The Doctor reached out and took her hand, knowing where her mind had gone, "You know Kate, I think your dad's got that title taken, don't you think?" he asked the girl.

"Oh yes," she nodded eagerly, "Daddy's the best!"

"So…YOU need something different then, don't you?" he smiled, "You're a clever girl, much cleverer than I've seen in little girls…"

"I'm not little!" she pouted, crossing her arms, "I'm 6!"

The Doctor chuckled at that as the Professor watched him interacting with the child with a small smile, "Well, then, you're a very clever girl then. How about you use what's in there…" he poked her forehead, "Instead?"

Kate blinked, trying to work out what he meant, "You mean…be a scientist?"

UNIT DID have lots and lots of them, but none of them were very good, or nice, at least in her opinion. They kept treating her like she was 5!

"Science leads," the Brigadier nodded, sending a small smile to the Doctor…

When something suddenly exploded outside, shattering the windows.

The Brigadier immediately jumped off his chair and ducked around behind his desk, putting Kate down there with express instructions to hide before he leapt up and ran to the window, looking out at the clearing smoke with the Time Lords joining him.

"Blasted Sontarans!" he muttered, staring out at he saw the Sontaran's in a line, marching towards UNIT. This must have been the hundredth time they'd tried to attack. According to their records, the Sontarans seemed to think UNIT was the Earth's ONLY line of defense against aliens and saw it as a strategic advantage to take it out. They failed almost every time, thankfully, but it was getting irritating, especially since he didn't often get to see his daughter with all the work he did and now she was under attack too!

"Why are the Sontarans here?" the Doctor frowned.

"Isn't it obvious?" the Professor countered as the Brigadier went to answer, "UNIT defends the Earth against aliens. They're aliens. Who else would they attack to get a free shot at the Earth?"

"Huh," the Doctor mumbled, squinting out at the approaching army.

"I must go gather the soldiers," the Brigadier made to leave.

"No," the Professor called, looking out the window as the man turned back, "If you do that and attack, even if you win, they'll keep coming because Sontarans are never defeated in a war, a battle yes…"

"We cannot just let them attack us!"

"Let me talk to them," she turned around.

"Professor…" the Doctor shook his head, she was doing much better in dealing with aliens, but he still didn't want to push her and Sontarans were the most hostile ones he'd come across, besides the Daleks of course.

"I can do it," she nodded, taking a breath, "Besides…they'll listen to me."

"Why?" the Brigadier frowned, not entirely believing the aliens would listen to her.

The Doctor sighed, "Remember how I said she could have you disarmed in 5 seconds Ally?" he looked at the Brigadier.

"Don't call me Ally," he repeated, but nodded, "And what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, THEY know it too," the Doctor continued, "They'll listen to her as a fellow soldier."

"Soldier?" the Brigadier frowned.

The Professor just sighed and headed out of the office, the Doctor close behind with the Brigadier following, the man half trying to get Kate, who had latched onto the back of his clothes, to go stand with the other soldiers. The Professor walked past the line of them as the Brigadier called for them to hold their fire a moment, and strode right up to a few feet ahead of the soldiers, the Doctor and Brigadier with her, Kate thankfully staying back.

The Sontarans stopped right before the Professor.

"I wish to look upon the face of my enemy," the Professor called.

One Sontaran stepped forward and pulled its helmet off, "I am Stel the War Bringer!" he huffed, slamming his fist to his chest, "Sontar-ha!"

The Professor nodded, straightening her shoulders, "And I am the Professor of Gallifrey."

The reaction was immediate.

The Sontarans took a step back, before they all removed their helmets and stared at her, "You cannot be!" Stel shouted, "The Professor fell during the most glorious Time War."

She frowned at hearing the war called glorious but continued, "I survived, as you know, a soldier never gives up..."

"Sontar-ha!" the Sontarans cheered in agreement, pounding their fists to their chests.

"From one soldier to another, I ask you to turn back and leave the Earth be."

Stel laughed, "You ask what you know cannot be. Sontarans never turn their back on an attack!"

"Sontarans also do not like to be defeated…"

"We shall never be defeated!" Stel cried.


The Professor rolled her eyes at them, "Please, in the name of your honor, turn back and…"

"We find honor in battle!"


"Fine," the Professor cut in with a huff, a bit impatient with them, "You stay and continue to attack UNIT, and you'll face ME as I shall be here to protect it."

Stel actually seemed to swallow at that, something which shocked the Brigadier…the Sontaran actually seemed…afraid.

"A true soldier knows how to pick his battles," the Professor continued, "Your army…against me. What will it be?"

Stel stiffened, "Soldiers withdraw!" he gave the order before turning back to the Professor and half-bowing, "One day I hope that you and I shall meet on the field of battle, and I will destroy you for the glory of the Sontaran Empire."

The Professor shook her head, amused, as the little walking baked potato just turned and walked off with the Sontarans, the army teleporting away.

"What the deuce!?" the Brigadier breathed, staring at the Professor.

"Brilliant!" the Doctor cheered, rushing forward to pull her into his arms, spinning her around. Leave it to her to send an army away without a drop of blood spilled.

"Glad that worked," the Professor breathed, relieved, she was REALLY hoping that she wouldn't have had to fight the Sontarans.

"How did you DO that?" the Brigadier just stared more.

"She's just amazing," the Doctor wound his arm around her waist, holding her close.

"I've um…" the Professor began, careful of what to say.

She could tell that the Brigadier might have a few more adventures with past incarnations of the Doctor and clearly he hadn't known anything about the Time War, despite the Sontaran's mentioning it. She could tell from the armor that these particular Sontarans were future versions of the species, seeming to have gone back in time somehow to try and attack the Earth in its past when it was weaker. She had to be careful what she said so that the Brigadier wouldn't mention it to any other Doctors, if he DID mention HER, she could assume the Doctor would think he was just talking about any old professor, which was lucky for her that her title was so widely used.

"I've earned the respect of the Sontarans over the years," she shrugged, "They listen to me a little."

The Brigadier just shook his head, a wide grin on his face, "Would you please consider working for us as well my dear?" he requested, "You and the Doctor on our side…the Earth would have no better protection."

"Oh it's got the best protection ever," the Doctor countered, "It's got you Ally!"

"Don't call me Ally."

A/N: Lol, I just really wanted to end it there :) I loved how the 9th Doctor kept getting Mickey's name wrong, but I also felt like it was a sort of joking nickname sort of thing. So I wanted to do a little of the same here with the Brig :)

And yup! Pirates of the Caribbean it was :)

Next chatper: Felspoon