Boxer & Sock with Brassiere
Excretion Without Honor Nor Humanity
There lies a city on the faultline between Heaven and Hell, Daten City. Where humans live under the constant threat of attack from evil spirits. Darkness invades people's hearts, and not one person realizes that it's consuming the city... There are those who seek to obliterate these manifestations of human desire with transcendent light. Has the duty of repelling the darkness fallen to the messengers of God or the servants of Satan?
"Chick,Chick,Chick,Chick."The Zipper Beast suddenly is stricken by lightning. Brassiere hits Chick on the head who throws up a note that reads "W.C".(water closet a.k.a toilet).
A siren alarms through the church."Goddamn, what the hell's going on?" Boxer's a blond manwhore 'lady friend jumps out of bed yelling. Sock a Gothic lolita, aristocrat with violet and pink hair wakes up but immediately falls back to sleep.
"Chick,Chick,Chick,Chick, Chick, Chick." A sofa falls from the ceiling crushing Chick.
Bra begins to speak" Good morning, Boxer."
"See ya later."Boxer waves off his lady friend. She replies "Anytime."
Bra switches her gaze."Good morning, Sock."
"Morning ... Morning my sugary lover..."Sock indulges in some cake.
An awkward silence fills the air leaving Bra to break it."We have been blessed with another hint from the heavens above. Stand!" Bra holds out the note."Witness!"Boxer snores while Sock is eating cake. Bra brings out a projector." As of late, there have been several cases of humans being eaten my toilets! Humans are most vulnerable when they're engaged in excretion. It is an evil and dastardly deed like no other! It must be the work of Ghost!"
"You gotta love big breast."Boxer states nonchalantly.
"You really have no standards, do you?" Sock replies.
"They're crazy good. Three squeezes and a moterboat and you're good to go."
"I'm more interested in sugar"
"What about protein? "Boxer asked him.
"Depends on the meat."
"It's good for you. Ain't that right Bra?"
"How would I know?"Bra answers angrily. "Listen to me! If you obscene guardian angels don't want to be dropped, your only choice is to collect heaven coins..." Boxer and Sock sit there inattentively. " by defeating those accursed Ghost on the surface!" Bra pulls out a case with heaven coins."YOU ARE NOT HERE TO COLLECT WOMEN, MEN OR SUGAR !GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEADS!"
Boxer and Sock begin to punch and kick Chick.
"We know."Sock retorts.
"Did you just pull that case out of your ass? And I don't just collect them ... Fuck it let's roll."
The two get dressed in a matter of seconds no matter how unbelievable that is.
"Sock." Boxer said to his brother.
"Boxer." He said back.
"Let's do this."
Boxer revs up Transparent their blue Hummer H1. They exit through the garage underneath the church hitting the streets of Daten City. reaching impossible speeds they tear through the road.
"Pedal to the fuckin' medal! Go, Transparent, go! Hey sock look at that plumber over there."
"Oh my look at that flow. You're so good with your hands." the woman getting serviced says sweetly.
"Thanks for employing me. I'll be back later for a quick inspection " The plumber replies.
What a hard working man. Wanna come inside for a drink? I need you to inspect my plumbing. "She pushes a little more seductively.
Boxer comes screeching to a halt in Transparent crashing into the plumber's van.
"Bingo! Found ya! " Boxer tackles the plumber to the ground.
"A toilet and a young man." Sock states bluntly."
"You're the one?" Boxer asked rhetorically.
"He's the one?"
"He's the ghost?" Boxer pulls his gun on the plumber."Is that it! So, do ya feel lucky, punk? Well do ya?"
"Does he?" Sock points out.
Boxer pulls the trigger."Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Huh? Guess not." Boxer sighs taking in his mistake
"Wow, wrong guy. Who would've thought." Sock groans a little ticked off.
"Cut that out, it hurts." The plumber cries." Did i do something wrong?" He removed his hands from his face and revealed sparkling blue eyes.
"No... woah dude you're really good looking."
The woman who was being serviced barges in, "He's such a stud. But you're quite handsome too."
Boxer's mouth waters from the thoughts running through his mind." How about a little three way action?" The two nod at his suggestion. Boxer takes off his boxers and hands them too Sock. "Here, have these."
(At the church)
"Guess they got lucky. "Boxer says humorously."
"I didn't know you we're into anal, Boxy." Sock says putting emphasis on the nickname.
"I'm not! I'm not up for that just yet, and don't call me Boxy! But, I bet I unclogged his pipes"
"Whatever, your taste are fucked up anyway."
"Sex is sex bro. You're the one who's fucked up, when was the last time you scored."
"Shut the hell up, you dirty bastards! Start doing your damn job!" Bra interjects.
"What did you say." They say in unison
"Oh, damn it all! Let's have dinner!"
"That was good." Boxer breaths out in satisfaction.
"Bra, that curry was delicious." Sock adds in.
Bra chuckles," My curry's good cause it's black."
What's for dessert? What's for dessert? Cacao? Cocoa? Chocolate? Sweet black beans? Black honey?"
Boxer hops up from the table to go to the bathroom upstairs . He blocks out the mindless chatter from Sock and Brassiere." Who cares? I'm off to use the crapper!"
"The crapper's gonna eat you!" Sock yells from downstairs."
"Shut up asswipe!"
"I'm thinking one of Ploppy's mint chocolate cakes for dessert. I could eat five hundred of those a day. Chick! Are you listening to me?"
"They're so goddamn loud."
"Hey did you know? Those cakes turn your tongue completely green.
As Boxer drops a load the toilet starts to make weird noises. Guzzler,Broo,Churn,Gloop. The toilet sucks in Boxer halfway leaving him to try and struggle out." What the hell! Sock! Sock! Sock! "
"Keep it down! God, it serves you right! Hope you shit out all your organs in there!
The toilet fully swallows Boxer. after a minute or two a geyser of feces shoots from the bowl along with boxer. Bursting through the door nearly killing Chick the feces floods upstairs with Boxer covered in it.
"I've got it... I've got it..."
"Got what?" Brassiere comes in cleaning a dish.
"What's with all the curry?" Sock asks
"It stinks!" They scream in unison. Both vomit from the overwhelming smell.
Boxer narrows his eyes," I get it all now..."
"So what have you got?" Sock asks still choking on the smell.
"It stinks!" They both vomit again. Sock soon after indulges in more cake.
Sewers everywhere begin to spew feces knocking over everything in it's way. The feces starts to collect creating a giant ghost. Pedestrians everywhere begin to speculate at the monster.
"A fucking huge scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Everyone vomits from the smell assaulting their nostrils. The ghost shoots feces at everyone flooding the streets of Daten. Police cars by the dozens flock around the ghost. Each exiting from their cars with guns pointed at the ghost.
"Freeze!" They all begin to shoot at the ghost each bullet failing. They all vomit causing them to falter.
"Stinky!" The ghost moans releasing more crap onto the officers.
"What's with all the shit? I've got shit in my mouth!"
The police chief gazes at the sight. He begins to speak to Bra, "How can this be? We don't stand a chance! Oh Reverend, what's going on?"
"This is the work of evil spirits, Ghosts! " The police cheif gasps from surprise and confusion." A plumber died after being suffocated by the stench from a clogged up pipe. He then turned into an evil spirit, its heart set on drowning the city in shit.
"No way! It smells like shit!" The chief vomits. "what are we supposed to do? We humans don't stand a chance against that thing! I guess all we can do now is pray, huh?"
"God is not on Earth, Guardian Angels sent from above! Show his glory! Boxer! Sock!"
"What? You mean the manwhore covered in shit and the effeminate goth boy with the weird colored hair?"
Boxer and Sock make their way toward the ghost ready to attack.
"Let's do this Sock."
"I don't like the smell."
"Fine. Bear with me. I'll buy you Ploppy's Mint Chocolate cakes for the next ten days."
"Really? You'll wait in line every day?"
"A mere trifle compared to exacting revenge on the fucker who covered me in shit."
Sock stares at Boxer with a smirk." Deal."
A halo appears above the Anarchy brother's heads transforming their clothes. Boxer's clothes shift into a white toga and Sock's a White, blue, and grey outfit. Boxer begins to pull off his boxers while Sock pulls off his sock. "O wicked spirit born of a lost soul in limbo; receive judgement from the garb of these Holy Guardians; cleansed of worldly impurities, return to Heaven and Earth. Repent! "The boxers transforms into a gun and the sock transforms into a striped sword. Boxer shoots the ghost straight in the face. Sock slashes it multiple times causing the ghost to explode.
"Oh shit!" The ghost exclaims.
"Well done." Bra congratulates Boxer and Sock.
"Only one heaven? "Boxer says unsatisfied.
"You've made solid progress."
The church bell rings grabbing everyone's attention.
"The evil spirit has departed! It has made its peace! The bell tolls to signal its passing!"
"Phew, that's finally over." Boxer grunts while stretching.
"You promised to buy me dessert. I'm already placing the order." Sock informs Boxer.
"Yeah, yeah. My dessert's over here." Boxer says while pulling along a female cop.
"You boys shall be punished when we return." Bra explains while leaving.
"How? Chains?" Sock questions.
"That would be boring." Bra replies.
"I'm busy so piss off!" Boxer spat.
Whole story being edited, more funny. Sorry no stripper poles. Thanks you guys.