Burning Books

Rudolph/Elizabeth oneshot

Disclaimer: I do not own the little vampire characters other than the ones I actually did create. This oneshot has nothing to do with existing stories such as From London with Love and Vampire Kisses. AU

PS: I am not encouraging you play with matches! Fires are only cool when they're not killing people. Also, there is slight language so don't read if you're gonna be offended.


Hah! Another book gone! Mom said it wasn't a good idea to burn books because it was practically insulting literature and the author's 'hard-work'. Well...Stephenie Meyer is not here to see me destroying her precious vampire books and I honestly think people will not miss this in the library section of our scottish castle.

Tony questioned from the doorway, "Are you going insane?"

I looked at my twelve year old brother, glaring in a way I have never done before. This glare was different from the annoyed/pissed expressions. This was one serious. How could he think burning Twilight books is an act of insanity? Reading them IS an act of insanity!-Just ignore the fact that I actually did read them when I was younger...but hey! I didn't know better! Vampires do not sparkle!

"Nonsense dorkface," I dismissed.

Raising his blonde eyebrows, he left me to my victory. It's okay. I'm being safe. I'm burning the books in my backyard. I'd rather start a forest fire than leave my family without a house. I smiled when the cover of Twilight curled in pain. I hope it's screaming. Okay. Maybe I am going insane. I'll check myself into a hospital after the deed is done.

Mom screamed from the kitchen window, "Elizabeth, stop burning things and go greet Tony's new babysitter!"

First off, why does it always have to be me to answer the door? Does anyone else not have legs? Do their feet get confused, causing them to be frozen on the spot? Do they not know their right from left? I could be bait. Why not give the guest some Elizabeth and once they see how crazy I am, they will get their wits together and escape. I'm on to you parental units.

Sighing, I put the matches down on the outside stand. Perhaps my feet got confused as well because I practically had to drag myself into the kitchen and down the hall where the front door exists. I really wish we would get rid of that front door. Who needs to talk to people? Ugh interaction.

Whatever happened to Tony's old babysitter? Simple, she quit after Tony jumped on her back and bit her on the neck. I'm surprised she didn't sue. My dorkface of a brother isn't exactly the scariest vampire.

The doorbell rang once more, snapping me from my thoughts. Time to go be friendly to people. I'm not looking forward to this...

My hand hastily grabbed the doorknob and pulled.

Door swung open.

Then appeared an angel from the heavens.

There go my ovaries.

Standing before me was the most handsome boy I have ever seen! His messy black hair spiked in several directions, deep black eyes peering at me with question. Oh right, this is where I'm supposed to speak.

"Welcome to the Thompson residence, if Tony bites you, at least we warned you."

Nailed it.

The boy of my dreams chuckled lightly and grabbed my hand. OH MAN! WHAT'S HE'S DOING? I realized he was only shaking it. Oh. Right. That happens too.

His voice sounded like a million beautiful bells, "Hello, I'm Rudolph Sackville-Bagg. I know, a strange name but it's something I have to live with. I'm here to babysit Tony?"

Jesus. He's british. Refreshing from the scottish accents I've been hearing.

I nodded, allowing him to come in, "Tony is upstairs in his room. I'll show you!" Closing the door, I was about to lead him to the second level of my house when I interrupted my actions, "By the way, I think Rudolph Sackeville-Bagg is a nice name."

Nope. No. I'm not going to admit that I've been spying on Rudolph and Tony playing. My god, this kid is about my age and actually finds enjoyment in my brother's presence. Maybe he's just being nice. He is being paid after all.

He's so beautiful! Why can't the boys at my new school look like that! Then I would definitely go instead of skipping!

I kept walking down the hall to get something so I wouldn't look suspicious. I can't just stand at the doorway staring or they would definitely notice. I try not to be obvious when I'm being a creeper. I have class. However, Tony had closed his door, giving me the great opportunity to just stand there and listen to their probably meaningless conversations.


"Yeah Rudolph?"

"What is your sister's name?"

Oh. I never told him my name. Wow, I'm stupid.

"Elizabeth but you can call her Elizabreath"

Remind me to kill him later.

Another chuckle had my heart beat rapidly, "Elizabeth...that's a pretty name."

"Yeah whatever! Let's play vampires!"

I dashed into my room in full panic mode. He thinks my name is pretty. He finds my name to be rather appealing to the ear. I can't believe it. I attracted a boy. Quick, what do I do? Do I change my clothes and put some makeup on? Or do I just play it cool and pretend not to notice him?

My realistic side of the brain kicked in. He just thinks my name is pretty. That says nothing about my physical appearance. For all I know, he could think I look like his sister...or his dog. Either one.

Screw this. I'm going back to burning sparkly vampire books.

Sorry Jacob, I can't hear your howls over the glorious sight of you burning before my eyes. What's that Edward? You love me? I'll kill you with my dad's golf club, I don't want you stalking me in my sleep. Bella, I can tell you're feeling pain right now with that same indifferent expression on your face.

Life is great, life is so-

"Why are you burning those books?"

Caught! Run to the hills!

I whipped around to see Rudolph standing there utterly confused. But it wasn't the judging you confusion, it was the 'are you okay' confusion. At least I hope it was.

Trying to remain calm and collected, I laughed and pointed at the burned Twilight covers, "I'm just showing my appreciate to the shittiest book in the world."

His adorable nose scrunched up in disgust, "I hate that series. My sister won't shut up about it." Dear lord. He's cute and shares my hate of fake vampires.

"I know right, I don't get why people are obsessed. They aren't even real vampires!"

"Vampires are supposed to be creatures of the night, they were made to be feared, not loved." Words of wisdom. I shall marry this boy one day.

Deciding to push my luck, I handed him a match, "Wanna join me? Seeing as Tony is probably passed out on the floor right now and you're bored..."

Rudolph grinned at me, causing my stomach to do somersaults, "Sure."

And there we stood, side by side, quietly burning books that forever trashed the vampire reputation. Now that is what I call romance.

A/N: No need to thank me. Actually, do it. It makes me feel good.