Title: Caged Bird
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya, Side; Shiki x Izaya
Warnings: MalexMale Relationships, Smut, Rape, and Slight Cross dressing
This is bad, scratch that…this is extremely bad. Why did it have to be him? It could have been anyone else, but no, did it have to fucking be him? It had to be my father that walked in…not only that but he heard everything. Dammit. It would have rather had Vorona walk in on Izaya and I having sex than my father just knowing that I was hanging out with a geisha.
I look up at my father but am only met with his cold, disapproving eyes. It's a look that I have grown accustomed to by now. It has been the only look I have received from him for years... I take an inhale of breath and feel my body go cold at the realization of just how bad this is. My head drops as I let my eyelids cover my caramel orbs. Maybe if I try hard enough, all of this will just go away…
"Get up Shizuo." My old man lets out with an demanding tone. Looks like I'm going to have to face reality. I take another inhale of air before getting up and opening my eyes to face my father. When I was a kid, I was my father's shadow. I used to tell him everything, but that was in the past. As my family rose in power, my father got more distant. Now, the only time we have interaction is for wedding arrangements or training. Actually, it kind of feels like I don't have a father anymore…he is so much more concerned about tradition and the family name, he doesn't even listen to what I want. "Explain yourself Shizuo." My body jumps slightly as I am reminded of the presence my father. I let my eyes drop down and focus on the grassy terrain. I clench and unclench my fists a few times as I wrack my brain for an explanation.
"…I love him…" I feel a pain in my cheek as I feel my father's rough hand slap against it. I close my eyes and let my head stay in the direction of the strike. What I don't expect, though, is for him to kick me in the side. My body meets the ground and I let myself lay there. If this wasn't my father, my sword would be through his chest right now.
"You really want to disgrace the family Shizuo? Think about your family, your ancestors, and your children before you selfishly say something as vile as that. You will ruin the honor of the Heiwajima name because of your own selfish desires!" My teeth clench my bottom lip so hard that I'm surprised it doesn't rip right through. My finger tips dig into the ground as I try and keep my anger in check. The sounds of foot steps coming closer let me know that he is approaching me and the shadow that's looming over me let me know that he is kneeling, most likely glaring down at me.
"This is not your choice Shizuo. You are becoming a pathetic excuse for a son. I don't care if you love him, you will marry Vorona. You will bare children, and you will not disgrace your family with your selfish desires. This disgusting secret of yours will not leave these walls. Do you understand me Shizuo?" I pathetically nod even though I am thinking something completely different. Why isn't this my choice? It's my life…I have to live with it forever…not my family. Shouldn't I be the one to choose who I want to be with? I don't have any problem with Vorona…but…I'm just not feeling it. It's not like I planned on falling in love with another man…it just kind of…happened.
The door to the training area closes and I let out a frustrated sigh. Once I am sure that I am alone, I slam my first into the ground. Over and over, I beat the ground to let out my frustration. I hit it and hit it until I feel the pain in my knuckles. It hurts, but that pain is nothing compared to the pain that I am feeling in my chest.
I don't want to live this way…I want to choose my own destiny, not have it chosen for me.
I was taken down deep into the underground part of the building, and by taken I mean forcibly drug down. It was futile to struggle, but I wasn't about to go out without a fight. If nothing else, it made their job just a little bit harder. I honestly just want to desperately get away from this place. Actually, to be completely honest, I want to get away from this entire country. It is full of disgusting people. I guess it wouldn't matter where I went though. Humans are all the same; sex, power, money...that is all that they ever care about. They call it 'honor', while I call it stupidity. Selling people for money is in no way 'honorable'.
The loud noise of metal rubbing against metal fills the dark underground as the guards open the door to the jail. They roughly shove me in and lock the metal barrier behind them without a word. It's so dark in the area. The only sources of light are the lights that are coming off of the candle sticks that the guards had, which are now fading out into the distance. Soon there will be nothing around me but horrible darkness. I have to admit, it is a great means of natural torture. One can say that they aren't afraid of the dark, but when they are kept alone in complete nothingness for an extended amount of time, it starts to weigh on someone's psyche. Not only that, but it is damp and quiet. Being left alone in a dark place that is void of noise is the quickest way to insanity. It's only been a few minutes and I already desperately want to bathe.
All sounds soon disappear and I am left alone with nothing but my thoughts. I kneel down and brush my hand against the ground, making sure that there is nothing wet that I might sit on. Once I'm sure that it's alright, I plop myself down.
I really need to find away out of this house of horrors…
I'm sorry about the extremely long wait ;_; I have had a lot of convention work and then a few personal things to take care of...I WILL finish this story though, but, I WANT A HEAD COUNT! REVIEW IF YOU ARE ACTIVELY READING THIS STORY SO I KNOW HOW FAST TO UPDATE THIS! It has about 4-5 chapters left and it's going to start to get angsty and romantic ^o^