I walked out of Adrian's building heading for Latte. When I was safely inside Latte I began to cry. This was a weird feeling, because I always liked to keep a level head. A million questions began to enter my mind. Did I like Adrian? Does he really know me that well? What will happen if the Alchemists find out? And most importantly could I ever be with Adrian? As much as I thought I liked Adrian I knew it wasn't right for us to be together. The tattoo on my cheek proved it wrong. Though my head kept repeating wrong wrong wrong, my heart knew it was so right to be with him.
Once I had stopped crying I started Latte and drove to Amberwood. The whole car ride all I could think about was my kiss with Adrian. I had felt it. Whenever Brayden kissed me I didn't feel anything and assumed it as normal, but with Adrian it was completely different. It had felt so right with him, everything was right with him. I shook my head knowing everything was wrong. That was the problem, everything with Adrian was right and wrong at the same time.
I pulled up to Amberwood and was immediately greeted by Jill. That's when I remembered she must have seen everything and was here to convince me to go back to Adrian. I would to, it would just take convincing. I got out of the car bracing myself for Jill.
"I know you love him Sydney. No amount of words could convince me otherwise." Jill didn't waste any time stating the obvious. "And he loves you, he really does. He used to love Rose, but that was before he got to know you. Please give him a chance Sydney, that's all he wants. She had pleaded her case.
"Jill I can't be with him you know that." Avoiding the fact that I loved him, I didn't even know what love was "I can't give him a chance, the Alchemists would send me away, would you want that?"
"No I don't want that." She said looking at the ground. "But...what the Alcemists don't know won't hurt them right? And you never denied loving Adrian, so you do" A smiled appeared on her face.
"Jill I don't even know what love is to say that I experience it." And that was the truth, the logical truth. I started to walk away, and maybe go get some sleep in my room. That's all I wanted was sleep. When Jill didn't stop me I walked faster in hopes nobody would bother me.
Getting a good nights sleep was exactly what I needed . But my dreams told me otherwise. I kept dreaming of the kiss and what would've happened if I never left his apartment. I dreamed this exact dream for a week straight. During the week I avoided Adrian at all costs, and he never tried to make contact with me once. At Jill's feedings he was never there, Dimitri had told me he comes on different days to avoid me. If this what it came down to? Avoiding each other until my mission here was over?
A week from the kiss was the night I dreamed differently. I was in Adrian's apartment, which was filled with paintings of me and the lily. There was also one painting of a girl and a boy kissing, but the background made it seem as though they were secluded from the world. I was wearing the dress from the Halloween dance, the one everyone said I looked beautiful in, especially Adrian. He materialized before my eyes looking as gorgeous as ever.
"Sage." He said soon becoming at a loss for words. That's when I realized this was one of his spirit dreams. I didn't like the use of the magic but dreams seemed so harmless. My inner voice was telling me how wrong using this magic was. From the look on Adrian's face I could tell he knew I was unhappy with this use of magic.
"Adrian you know I don't like this." I started out by saying. But he didn't seem to care
"Listen, do you you know how hard it's been staying away from you?" He said taking a few steps toward me. "I stayed away for your sake, because I knew you didn't want to be around me for what happened, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you walk out that door." He motioned toward his front door. "I'm sorry I let you leave."
It was then I realized he wasn't apologizing for the kiss, he was apologizing for letting me leave. I was sorry for leaving but Humans and Vampires can't be together under any circumstances. "Adrian, I know how you feel about me now, and I was so blind to see. But I don't love you. I've been researching and it seems that love is a chemical reaction in the brain. If there was a chemical reaction due to love going on in my brain I would know." As I as talking he walked toward me, and even when I stopped he didn't stop. It wasn't until he was a few inches away from me that he finally did stop.
"You can research love all you want, but it's not an exact science that you can measure." He took my hands in his and looked me in the eye. "Love isn't exact fact, it's strong feeling. And that is the feeling I have for you."
"Then what does love feel like?" I asked.
"Love is when no matter how much time you spend with a person you always want to be around them. It's when you find yourself thinking about them and just start smiling like an idiot because you know you're crazy about them. It's when you'll do anything just to spend time with them and to be around them. But most importantly, love is when you want what is best for the other person no matter how much it hurts you." After his speech he looked me right in the eyes "Love is how I feel for you"
I didn't have control of what happened next. He kissed me again, but this time it was much more passionate. All together I was overwhelmed by a multitude of emotions, most of this knew what I was doing was wrong. I didn't care because it felt so right. There was electricity around us that secluded us from the rest of the world. All that mattered now was Adrian and me. When he finally broke off he looked directly into my eyes and said "I love you, Sydney Sage."
"I love you too, Adrian Ivashkov." Surprised with the words that just came out of my mouth he hugged me. It was the most loving embrace I have ever been in.
"Those are the words I've been waiting weeks to hear." He said all muffled. I could feel him smile, and that's when I realized this was all wrong.
I pushed him away, keeping my hands on his chest. I looked up at him and said "But we can't be together." I dropped my hands to my side and looked at the ground. "Just let me get some sleep before I have to wake up."
"One sec, Sydney." He said. I looked up at him and he caught my eyes. "You're not leaving with out this." He pulled me into another passionate kiss. Everything didn't matter anymore, all the world was was us. He broke away and I just kept staring at him. "Until next time." And like that I was returned to my own dreams.
My phone alarm woke me up and I thought about the dream I had of Adrian. I checked my phone to turn off the alarm and as I did so I saw I had received a text message. It was from Adrian. Goodmorning beautiful it read. That's when I realized last night was not a dream. Adrian had used his spirit magic to find me in my dreams, and that was wrong.
I didn't answer the text, I felt it wrong. In real life Adrian and I never spoke, and that's how it was going to stay. It was a dream, at least I thought it was. I did not love Adrian, that was insane. There was a knock on my door and I got out of bed to answer it. Along the way I almost tripped over a package, I didn't know who it was from but it could wait.
On the other side of the door was Eddie, he seemed worried. I was surprised to see that Angeline was not with him, since they were attached at the hip lately. I invited him inside my room but he shook his head. I gave him a confused look and that's when he started speaking
"I have lost Jill. She wasn't in her room this morning when Angeline woke up. Can you drive us to Adrian's? We think she might be there." Eddie looked relieved to get that out of his system.
I sighed. "Sure. Meet me at my car in 15 minutes." He nodded and left down the hallway.