The Happy Family
By Triggerhappy Maniac
+A Weibf Kreuz Fanfiction+

Author's Note: I dunno how the heck I thought of THIS but hell, it's better than writing a full-blow Yaoi fic. ( In example, SOME people do NOT like M/M So we'll just have to change it to F/M, ne?). This thingy here is supposed to have plenty 'o plot, as Farfie mightsay, but heck, don't get yer hopes up everybody. A humourous fic, no doubt.

Summary: Brad lied to his adoptive family ( mom and dad and etc ) and now he would have to bring his 'family' ( Schwarz in disguise hahaha--)all the way to America to prove it. And what if the one who was your 'wife' had a secret to wreck your lovelife?Ahh... the complications of judging by appearance and why lies, black and white, always hurt, no?

Pairings: ( well ain't this a party pooper...) Intended to be a Brad and Schu Schu... Let me know if anybody want something more interesting. ( by the way...email's "triggerhapinessisavirtue@hotmail.com"...go figure.) I SAID: THIS IS A STRAIGHT FIC.

REQUESTS ANYONE?: I've got a question for any reader... What the hell does "flaming" mean... I've seen it around a bit on other people's fics but I have no idea what it means... No, I don't like gasoline...

please note: PMS= post mentrual stress ( Yeah, Yeah, this is too much information for guys... You get cramps, nightmares and bad days. Poor Schuschu. Hahaha.Haha.Ha. uh, hnm... )
*-crap-* = Thinking happy thoughts.....or not.
*-crap-* = German mind speak... same as thoughts. You're smart enough to figure out which is which for yourself.


Chapter One: Meet the Parents ( aka Why You Should Never Tell Lies)


They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where would they go?, Without ever even knowing the way?

By Blur



Hacking into a swiss bank account was no easy thing. Multiple security blocks made even the most experienced hackers sweat in their seats. Which was why Brad Crawford absolutely refused to let Nagi anywhere near his PERSONAL laptop, which made the sixteen-year-old stomp to his room in a huff, sulking like a rejected child, after Crawford forbidden him to hack into THEIR personal accounts at the bank.

*Oh, A-MA-ZING. Braddy even calls himself Crawford...*

Damn! He shouldn't have let that thought slip out. He steeled himself and forced his mental shields up even higher. Unceremoniously booting the German out of his snicker spot in his mind and back to reality.

" Well that wasn't very nice of you Braa-dley," The fiery-haired German slinked into the room in his tight black leather outfit, pausing momentarily at the dark doorframe. " I don't suppose you can spare some time for me, mhn?"

" You're right, I can't" Clackity-clack went the keyboard, sounding like a maniac buzz.

The german looked around in the room, walking with slow relaxed steps around the 'workroom', tredding softly on the dark carpet. He stopped before Crawford's desk. Sliding seductively onto the paperwork covered ebony desk, he leaned over the screen of the laptop, blocking the light. He sighed," Bradley, brad, brad..."
Damn him!! It was hard enough to concentrate WITHOUT the...bas-- the...redhead around. The pseudo-Brad in his mind was barely keeping his anger in check.The German kept up a constant strem of vists to his office now and then. Can't he ever figure out that Crawford was no homosexual sometime? The redhead rummaged throught the mess on the desk. " My , my what do we have here...accounts" he rummaged through another pile.

" Accounts,"

And another.

" Accounts... HELL Bradley!? Is this all that you do all day in here?!!!?!!"

" Yess..." Brad hissed. " Now would you put my paperwork back in order? "

Brad was hoping, HOPING that he wouldn't look over the screen again. He treasured his privacy more than anyhting. No,no, no..no... Schuldich moved over again, blocking the sterile white light once more..." Well, then, let's take a look at what you're doin', Ne? " He traced the outline of Brad's jaw seductively with the tip of a finger.
Brad moved in a shocking split-second movement, bodily shoving the redhead off the desk, before he could react, and PAINFULLY onto the dark carpet on the floor.

"OOF! BRADLEEEY!!!???"

" Now get out. NOW!" Brad swung his enraged glare over to the door, gesturing furiously." I MEAN IT!!!" He gone too far, this time. He hated ANY physical contact with anybody!

" And what if I DON'T?!?" Those dreaded jade eyes hardened at him in anger.

* I'LL PREDICT YOUR DEATH! NOW GET OUT!!!*Crawford's his mind voice was a roar, his glare icy.

" FINE!!!" The german raged out the door , slamming it with a massive BLAM!

ARGGH. What have you done again... Brad Crawford...? you know that times are bad enough...and you just have to make it worse.... Brad rubbed his temples. Schwarz was having a tense time with Esset gone. He could not afford to let anybody discover their existance, much less the bloodhounds of Kritiker.Brad strightened in his seat and heaved a sigh, his thoughts returning to his work. Of tranferring some money to that of a family called Crawford.

He snorted. Too bad for the redhead. He had to poke his nose in just too far.

*********

" DAAAMN HIM!!!!!" BLAM!

Nagi winced as the breakfast table jolted under his telekinetic hold, plates and cutlery jingling momentarily. These incidents have been coming in more frequently. He bit into a piece of toast.

Farfello did not say anything, only to stare wide-eyed at the raging redhead storming down the staircase, his set of cleanly-licked knives on the table slightly out of position from the first jolt.

*********

Schuldich was FURIOUS. * How dare he?! How DARE he?!* He let out a scream, " DAAAMN HIM!!!!!" Why would *HE* not respond to his advances?! Was he a total icicle without any hormones at all? Or was it because he had a stick waaaay up his ass?
The redhead paused on the staircase, his anger momentarily forgotten. * May...Maybe he found out?* Horror began to set in * No! There was no way possible that he could EVER find out!? But...If he knew that the German was a freak-- * No! I'm not a freak!* There was no reason at all for the American to shun him... He hated the feelings of self-doubt; he absolutely despised them. The redhead snorted, " Hrmph...", dismissing his thoughts. And stomped his way down to the kitchen below.

***

" Everybody repeat after me: BRADLEY-CRAWFORD-IS-A-BIG-FAT-ASSS!!!!" (Nagi: Brad0Crawfordisabigfatass...)Schuldich yanked a chair out violently, seating himself at the wooden table. He was silent for a moment , burying his head in his arms, seemingly preoccupied. Then he looked up, at the madman seated peacefully beside him. " Farfie?"

"Eh?"

"Why do you stand Crawford?" Nagi nearly choked on his toast, a warning signal that the telepath was DEFINITELY not happy. Schuldich ALWAYS called Crawford Bradley, not Crawford. (eh?)

The German rested his head on his folded elbows, his shock of red hair sprawling across the table. He waited for his answer.

The Irishmen rolled his golden eye suspiciously at him." God hates PMS. Crawford has PMS." Farfello growled, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

THAT WAS IT! Nagi spewed his breakfast, choking hard. The pieces flew midway across the table, suddenly freezing in their trajectory right in front of the two other members of Schwarz. Farfello blinked once at the levitating pieces of food, then speared a piece of toast floating inches from his face. The German's laughter rang mentally throughout the house.

***
Crawford grumbled in his office. What the hell are they doing down there?!

* Braddy-baby! Farfie says you have PMS!* The German's laughter rang cheekily in his mind.

Brad Crawford blinked.

***
The German wheezed as he stumbled away from the table. Farfello proceeded to flick Nagi's former breakfast back at him with the tip of his knife. The toast caught Nagi unprepared, on the forehead with a wet SPLOT! Farfie began to chuckle but ducked in time when the telekinetic hurled the rest of the breakfast at him. Deprived of a target, the breakfast sped past Farfello's head, to the nearest victim. Schuldich, presently out of action, moved his hair out of his face, to get a better look at the accident scene---just in time to catch a bit of egg. Nagi winced. *Uh oh...*

" ARRRRRGH!!!! I WILL GET MY REVENGE!!!"

" FOOOOD FIIIIIGHT!!!!"

The air was filled with maniacal laughter--mainly from Farfie and Schuldich.

Nagi was too busy gathering ammunition.

***

Research, research. Research was everything. Their survival, their warning, an electronic view of the possible future. The painful bright light reflected off Crawford glasses, hiding his eyes. A muffled thump down the hallway outside, distracted him for a moment before he turned back to his work.

I am surrounded by idiots.

A chirpy beep from his computer drew his attention to the side of the screen. Ah. Somebody just attempted to access their information, carelessly setting off one of Crawford's carefully placed security trips.

Must be Kritiker again.

The network on whick he was working was getting highly unstable. He would have to create another alternate soon.

*The wolves are closing in again aren't they, Brad?* Brad sighed as the German's voice sounded through his head. Germans seemed to be a quick-forgiving people. * He must have forgotten the incidence this morning...* " Yesss..." he relaxed into his high-backed chair. " We must move again soon..."

* What's wrong with this place? It's rather secure in here ain't it. And nobody sane would try to break and enter if they knew what was inside* The redhead's Chershire Cat grin could actually be HEARD.

He sighed again, " Mastermind, humans aren't all invincible you know, "

*But, hey, we aren't your everyday workhour humans--Except for you maybe.*

" A fact of which I'm greatly relieved, indeed, comrade."

* You don't have to talk to me as if I'm a Nazi. It's insulting.*

Crawford stretched his arms out for a bit." By the way, is there something else you would like to talk about? I'm pretty sure you didn't come knocking at my sanity's door just to have a chat about our business."

The German seemed to be distracted for a moment. There seemed to be whispered conversations in the background, as if he was discussing something...* Umm, do you mind if I fetch Nagi to school, today I mean, I need to get something on the way.* Mental foot shuffle.

" Why so helpful all of a sudden? Finally trying to earn your keep around here?" The American's voice a mite sacarstic as he spoke to the empty room. Actually he was relieved at the prospect of not having to fetch the telekinetic to school for once in the long list of days.

* Uh, I just need to get some fresh air, that's all. I'm taking my bike out for a spin.* Another mental foot shuffle.

Crawford sat up again, his eyes once again focusing on the screen before him." Very well then," He sighed dramatically, brushing his brown hair back in a flourish.

There were sounds of scrambling, hushed whisperings from the floor below and the front door being slammed.

* And, oh, I nearly forgot. Braddy, you might want to take a look at your livingroom.We'regoingtogetsomecarpetcleansersodon'tyouworrywe'llbebackinajiffy.* He could almost see the telepath grab his bike, haul Nagi on it and speed his escape down the street.

* WHAT THE HELL?!!?!*

Schuldich could hear the American through the six inch steel-plated walls. He laughed with glee.

" SCHUUUUUULDIIICH!!!!!!!!"

***

Schuldich smirked as he sped down the highway, with poor Nagi clinging to him for dear life.His brilliantly red hair blew back, catching the morning sunlight. Unfortunately blocking a particular telekinetic's view.
Nagi's voice was muffled by the helment he wore."How come I have to wear the helmet and you don't?" The sacarstic remark was lost in the roar of the wind and the thrum of the bikes motor.
"Whaaa-aat? I can't hear you--" * Is THIS much better?* Schuldich cocked his head to one side, keeping his eyes on the busy road. " Yeah, much better indeed..." Nagi grumbled.* Why the hell can't we take the subway for once?*
" We needed an excuse to get us out of the house," the German yelled over the wind.
" Correction: YOU needed an excuse to get out of the house,"
" Hey, you started it,"
" Hey, YOU said the Crawford had PMS,"
" That was Farfie," Schuldich frowned for a moment," Are we supposed to take that exit over there?"
"YEEESSS!? YOU'RE GOING TO MISS IT!!!!"( the exit was six lanes to the RIGHT. Schu and Nagi are six lanes to the LEFT.)
" Whoops, HOLD ON!" The black Harley swerved violently, nearly coming in contact with the nearest car, only to lag back a bit to dodge it.SCREEEEEE----!!! his brakes screamed in protest. He cut his speed suddenly, making a sharp turn to avoid another oncoming car, almost being hit by a cursing driver; " HELL WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU KIDS?!". He sped up again, swinging the bike in a half circle, screeching across the six lanes, just to enter the exit in perfect form.
(Leaving a myriad of burn marks across the highway behind them.)

Nagi was swearing that he'll never set foot on a vehicle again. He began to squeeze the life out of the German, clenching his waist tightly. The German's blew back into his face with the force of the wind.
* Well, that was FUN, don't you think Naggles?*

Nagi was too traumatised to reply.

* Ugh! Don't squeeze so tight! I don't need a slimmer waistline! If I wanted professional theraphy I wouldn't want it on a bike! Heey! I can't breathe!*

***
" Have fun, Chibi!" The German commented. Nagi stumbled of the bike in shock, yanking off the oppressive helmet with relief. He could almost the fall to his knees and kiss the sweet, sweet earth... The other students walking through the school gate looked at him strangely. *THANKGODTHANKGODTHANKGOD--*
Schuldich chuckled at the thoughts radiating off the brown-haired bishonen.

" I'll be here to fetch you back in the evening...Bishounen" He grinned maliciously.

" HELL NOOOO!!!!"
***

Brad Crawford FINALLY found some time to himself.( not exactly, but Farfie wasn't exactly counted as company) If the livingroom was a price to pay for privacy, he would gladly pay it to keep the NOSY German out of the house...

Not that he liked using the Internet, he just wanted to check something, something VERY important...

*Hmmm... Let's check the email shall we? He logged in and--*

BEEPBEEP " YOU'VE GOT MAIL!" One day he's going to hack into that email engine and put that voice on mute. PERMANENTLY. But even the irritance of the service couldn't dampen the near-excitement he was in.

He scanned through the list of junk mail, for the one he was waiting for.
And ALMOST dreading.
He always had trouble keeping that fact that he was still in contact with his adoptive family from Esset, after they abducted him suddenly from his home at the age of nine. He knew that they, his adoptive family, would be used against him and that would put their lives in danger. So he faithfully kept his mouth shut through the long years of training.The last few years were rough, Esset's skill at erasing files and stealing pawns were unsurpassed, even his family thought him dead, murdered as the many missing people throughout the world. He still considered them family though, they had shown him kindness for a short while, around a year or so. He heard that they even wept for him at his funeral. Kindness, a scarce commodity in this existence. Had anyone even noticed the emergence of someone with a name identical to their 'lost son', a name that he had chosen for himself?

When he sent them a message recently that he was alive and well, he waited dubiously for weeks on end for their reply. What would they think of him now? In his message a few white lies wouldn't matter, a well-off businessman in a foreign country, a happy job and family.Whatever to keep them happy.What that matter was that he was still alive...


##Sender: Brad Crawford
Message: Mom! Dad! I've missed you! I'm so sorry I was gone for such a long time, can you both ever forgive me? It's been a rough life, and I keep thinking of you all the time.Business is going well, I've set up shop in Japan and I never had chance to send a message. I'm married now, to a beautiful wife and we have a kid too! I'll send you a picture as soon as possible!We live with her immediate family ( my brother-in-law ) in Tokyo.Can we meet again soon?I'll tell you what happened all these years. I miss you very much.
Love, Brad.

##Reply: Janice and David Crawford
Message: Brad! You are alive! We can't believe it!We missed you so much! Our dearest baby, we'll love to see you again!Ooh, we can't wait to tell the family about this! *Brad paled at the thought*We are so glad that you're doing well and you're happy!We can't wait to meet you and your lovely family. In fact, we booked some airplane tickets for you to come back home with your wife, kid and even your brother-in-law, we absolutely must thank them for taking care of you all these years. You must let your child meet the family! We love you very much, can't wait to see you again!
Love, Mom and Dad.

***
Crawford smiled as he read the message, an unconcious smile tugging on his lips. *I love you too*So they still thought of him. It felt nice to be--loved. He would have to arrange a flight then---wait---He scrolled down to read the rest of the message.Tap,tap.*booked serveral tickets?...* He read on incredulously *Meet my family?* He blanched. Tap,Tap. He looked at the date of the reply. *Omygod* Then--then--the flight would be two days from now?!

White lies wouldn't hurt, no? He sat ramrod straight in his chair. How the hell was he going to explain all this to them, no family? He swore that he wouldn't let them down. Wait, wait...calm down...*But where the hell am I going to find somebody to pretend to be family?* He blew out breath in frustration.Right now, a telepath, a telekinetic and a madman were not much of use. At all.
Hmnn...A ghost of an idea appeared in his head. His brown eyes widened.*Hell no no no noo...*

His mind seemed to be saying to him a close mimic of the German's voice; Well, you got yourself into this, Braddy-boy.

***

Schuldich reminded himself to get some pills. Sleeping pills. He was fast running out of those, and the dreams would be coming back along with the time of the month. He winced at a pain in his abdomen. The last time he forgot, he spent literally forty-eight hours in bed, his door locked and (him) screaming. He was thankful that the walls were, indeed, six inch thick and metal plated. At least they were useful in more ways than one. He was very lucky that no one found him out.
Brad just yelled at him as he tromped haggardly down the stairs *Where have you been?!*. Aha.Ha.Ha. If only he knew. That insensitive jerk.

He watched the kid walk dazedly into the school compound, and tucked the discarded helmet into the case behind his bike. He hated using helmets, they were claustraphobic and irritating. He made the poor kid wear them cause Crawford definitely would not like having his telekinetic's head spread over several meters of road. He watched as the boy moved out of sight, into the large main building. Oh well, no company for the rest of the day... He geared up the Harley and rolled the bike back onto the main road.
A bird cawed. He looked up at the deep cloudless blue sky overhead. Hmn, today was a good day to be out. He smacked his forehead Oh, yeah, he would have to get carpet cleansers too. The food fight had left the entire living area colorfully covered with ketchup. The image of the telekinetic throwing objects at him came unbidden to his mind. Lucky he tweaked with the boy's aim a little.But man, that boy was resourceful.
Maybe he should go and bother some Kittens. His smile grew huge on his face and passerbys wondered at the redhaired monster as he sped down the crowded main road toward an unknown destination.

***

Farfello was sitting alone in the messy kitchen playing with his knives, tossing them one by one into the air and watching them thud blade-first into the wooden floor. A good day indeed; he added the chopper from the cupboard into his knife collection.
He pused for a moment as he heard a loud exasperated sigh from the room above. What was Crawford up to now? He never stayed in his office for this long before coming out to lock him up again. He always foresaw what would become of his furniture if he didn't. One of his many knives ( the chopper) slipped from its balanced rest position on his finger and gouged a small trench on the kitchen floor. His eye narrowed, as he picked up the knife and regarded it carefully. It glinted. Knives could tell the future. He grinned as he licked the knife along the blade gingerly, as if he was afraid to lose it.

Oh yeah, something was going to happen, all right.

***

Youji looked up from the counter as the bell behind the door tinkled, welcoming a potential customer. He looked at the visitor's ankles first. He almost whistled and his eyes widened, man, that was one pretty pair.
*Gotta be a bishoujo!* His eyes traced the curves of the black-leather clad calves, condemning them to memory. Too bad Aya and Ken were missing out on this TREAT... A voice called from the back room, "Youji-kun! Who is it?"
" Hold on! I'm busy!" His eyes continued upwards, following the shape of the thighs to a slim tapered tight leathered hips, a pair of slender hands perched poutingly on them. Ohhh...He almost drooled. Many women would kill for a figure like that!
Man, this lady was tall! Perfect! All the more to look at. Omi rushed out of the room, " Youji-kun stop staring at the customers! We are supposed to serve---" he gaped, stopping in mid-stride, frozen.
" What?" Youji's eyes travelled further upwards toward the midrift. Shapely indeed! The skin tight black top barely covered the navel, exposing the barest bit of magnificently tempting skin.
Then he caught sight of flaming silken red hair, made even more threatening by the morning light catching it. Then the familar pair of smirking lips and frighteningly deep emerald eyes--
" SCHWARZ?!?!" An enemy in their shop?! Youji shook his head violently to clear his mind of the former image.* But hell it looked GOOD!*.
*Hello Kittens...* The German's accented voice sounded in their heads, dark and sensuous. * You seem to be busy...* The Schwarz member laughed mentally at the look of shock on their faces.
Omi face became outraged." What the Hell do you want, Schwarz?" He grated, his small fists clenched at his side. The German merely looked at him * I've got some recommendation from several schoolgirls about this shop...I thought maybe I should stop by for some flowers.* The voice in their heads sounded mocking.
" DON'T YOU DARE HURT THEM!!!" Youji's voice was surprisingly loud and icy in the confines of the shop. Omi looked at him in surprise. The German merely chuckled, a deep rich sound.
*My,my..., Do you think me such a monster, Weiss?*
" You are capable of anything!!!" The German chuckled again *I'm here merely for the flowers, 'Youji-kun', under a truce, as one may say. Any recommendations?*
Youji was incredulous. Schwarz? A truce? He would never live this down...But the German sounded sincere enough... He grabbed his wires from under the paper-covered counter, discreetly arming himself before stepping out from behind it. Omi looked at him in worriedly ,
" Youji-kun, don't...."
Youji forced a grin onto his face," Well, don't we have to serve our customers, Omi?" He strode out to meet the German.*How the hell did they survive the the blast?* he wondered, his group had to pull their battered back on shore.
*Very easily, Kitten. We were planning Esset's death long before you arrived on scene.* Then he said out loud," I'll think I'll have this," He gestured at a pot of tiny scarlet roses that sat on the display in the bright sunshine.
Youji was shocked. So was Omi. *Planned Esset's destruction? Schwarz?*
The German looked at them as if they were uncomprehending children. * Did you think that we actually WANTED to work for them? Jeez, you gotta be nuts* He sighed and strode over to the plant in attention and picked it carefully up from it's spot, leaving an outline of soil on the whiteness of the display.
His mind voice almost whispered * Ever wondered why we never attacked you then? We were literally on the same side...The girl was never of use to us* He laughter rang throughout the shop as he handed the plant to an astonished Youji. Youji looked down at the pot cupped in his hands.
* World domination is such a ridiculous concept, ne, Kitten?* " Aren't you going to package that up for me ' Youji-kun'?
The two Weiss members were stunned.
" Well?" He tapped his foot on the floor of the shop.
" Uh, hai... Omi," Youji tossed the pot to Omi, who caught it easily and set it gently on the counter. * Tsk,tsk, so rough with such delicate things *
" Umm...That will be 1000 yen..." The German strode over. Omi looked up as he paid.
Omi almost blanched, " So..., you're not assassins any longer?"* I can't believe this*
" Maybe, Kitten, maybe not." He picked up his package, literally cradling it." At least we are free." He walked to the door and pushed open. The bell tinkled again.

* And maybe one day you'll be too. Good Luck, Kittens.*

And the redhaired German called Schuldich made his dramatic escape.
***

Schuldich was having fun. Well, at least roaming around the megatropolis of Tokyo provided some momentary entertainment. The plant was stowed away carefully in the storage compartment, it's scarlet flowers waving in the wind as he drove. He ABSOLUTELY loved the looks on the Kitten's faces... To bad the red and the football nut weren't there... * Then things would have gotten INTERESTING...*
* Oh yeah, the carpet cleansers* He stopped by a green-walled petrol station along the highway and bought the aforementioned cleanser and at the same time filling up his gas tank. He gave the shining surface of the Harley a loving rub. He'll have to polish it again soon. He mounted and whistled as he drove back to the headquarters. Strangely, he felt as if he had forgotten something... Oh well, no matter. His stomach ached. His scarlet silken hair billowing in the rush of wind. He turned his attention back to driving, leaving tyre skid marks all over the roads of Tokyo.

***
" How the Heck am I supposed to break the news to them?!" The American paced across carpet on the floor, his display of nervousness was DEFINITELY un-Crawford-like. Think, THINK, man! He hoped that the telepath had to ability to alter people's perception and save him all the trouble of holding the bluff. He paused. * Nagi would definitely have to be the son, then Farfello the brother-in-law--* He cursed loudly as to how in the WORLD was he going to pull that off.
Then he frowned. * Then that leaves Schuldich to be the---to be the--* His brain stopped functioning.
" HELLL!!! I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM DEVELOP THAT SKILL EVEN IF HE DOESN'T HAVE IT!!!"

***

Schuldich arrived back at the base, slowly wheeling his precious bike back into the darkened garage at the side of the building. He slid the nylon covering back over the gleaming body of the bike and gave it pat-- something like a goodnight kiss. He looked around; Brad's car was still there, which meant that he have't gone out. He mused, he'll have to creep in softly in order not to alert anyone... Man, his stomach ached again...

***

Schuldich made his was into the house, silently closing the door behind him. * Hmn.... No one's here....* He grinned.
* I'M here Red,* The German nearly jumped out of his skin.
" What?! FARF?"
" Yep." The Irishman was sitting on the counter cheerfully, tossing his new toy; Mr Chopper.
The German began to breathe again, " C'mon Farf, help me clean up the mess." The living room/kitchen was still covered with those drying tomato splotches.
" Shan't." The madman pouted petulantly.
" Why not?"
" Messy livingrooms hurt--"
" I'll let you scrape the wallpaper with your knives---"
" ' K!" The bane of sanity hopped off his perch, onto a cleaning spree.






***

Brad OOGLED at the vision.

___ Nagi was laughing his head off in the livingroom with Farfello behind him. Then seated on the couch was Schuldich with the most peculiar expression on his face--some thing almost like horror--but____

___ Brad was hearing screams from one of the bedrooms on the second floor. * WHO THE HELL WAS SCREAMING?!* He caught a sight of red....almost like blood....* Oh dear, somebody ain't gonna take this very well...* he moved forward into the darkness to see who it was and -----______

" BRAAAAAAAAAD!!!!" Crawford blinked. Somebody was slapping his face lightly. *Who is it...?* The slaps came harder and his already blurry vision was beginning to see blurry spots,
" ARRRGH! STOP IT!", he caught a slender wrist as it prepared to strike him again.
" Oh, you're awake, you looked zonked out there for a minute..." He finally registered the voice of the redhead speaking to him.
" I was out of it?" Brad shooks his head as realisation came. * It looked so real...* He blinked owlishly at the German. He was grinning hugely. " What?"
" You looked so CUTE there for a moment..." The telepath made a face at him.
" Ugh...WHAT ELSE?"
" I cleaned your living room," Crawford looked at him. True, his immaculate leather WAS slightly stained with a bit of red. " Farfie helped a bit."
Crawford raised an eyebrow, " Are you sure that's not blood? That's the only reason that Farfello would help you, in any terms, "
Schuldich frowned, " You don't believe me? It's ketchup, anyway." Then his expression changed as he slid a booted foot onto the desk. He grinned, " Wanna taste?"
" Ugh. No!"
* Ne? What have you got in here?* The German was in and out of his mind in a blink. Crawford looked outraged....
" HOW MANY TIMES DID I EVER TELL YOU NOT TO DO THAT?!"
Now was the German's turn to blink in shock... " Braddy has a family?" He gaped at the angry American behind the desk. " I WANNA SEE 'EM, WANNA SEE 'EM!" He bounced in childlike anticipation jarring Crawford's desk. Thumpathump.
Brad groaned as he removed his glasses and begun to rub at his eyes. " Ugh. May as well tell you the whole of it then. I was planning of telling the whole group at one shot."
He shot Schuldich a look, " You understand the whole secrecy of this, no? We--I mean, I-- cannot afford to place them in danger. So, in order to keep them somewhat unaware of my current status, some lies had to be concocted to mislead them."
" Oooh, naughty Braddy boy. Lies are baaaad, bad things..."
" You wouldn't believe how bad." He made a face as he continued, " They, my adoptive parents, have inevitable requested to meet my fictionous 'family"--"
"Wait a moment, hold your horses Braddy-boy, YOU told them you had a FAMILY?!" A serious frown crossed the German's face. " Did Esset know about this?"
" A far as I'm concerned, no." Brad sighed," I kept it secret thoughout the training and the job."
" So what's the whole shit of all this?" He looked puzzled.
Brad could almost deflate himself with the sigh of defeat. " I require people to pose as my 'family' but I absolutely cannot allow any outsider into our group. I cannot trust them at all."
" Ahhh... Now Schwarz get's to play dollhouse." His expression turned thoughtful.
Brad blinked in surprise. * Whoah, I thought he'll take it the hardest...* He relaxed for a moment. * Maybe this ain't so bad after all...*
Schuldich looked at him pointedly." How many members are there in this 'family' of yours?"
Brad took a moment before replying, " There would be me, of course, then the son or child, the brother-in-law and--and the wife..."
The German seemed busy scheming, he murmured, " Nagi would have no problem posing as the kid, although he won't like it....... The Farf would have to be the brother-in-law, we have to make alterations to his appearance, you know that?"
" I planned it out already--" The American seemed slightly unsure.
" And that would leave me to be the----" The German grabbed Brad by his collar, pulling him up close as he glared daggers into his face, " HELLL! BRAD! WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU THINKING?!" He released the disgruntled American. " OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD WE ARE IN SOOOO MUCH SHIT!!!" He swept his hair back in frustration as he glared again " Any last requests Mister Family-Man?"
" Uh... We're leaving the day after tommorow...?"

Now the GERMAN'S scream could be heard through the six-inch thick steel-plated walls.

***



Any last requests? I would like to kill myself please, No,no, handing me the gun would be just fine... Ah, yeah, I would like the AK 47 over there if you wouldn't mind. TO ALL READERS: THE SECOND CHAPTER WILL BE UP IN A DAY OR TWO. WILL BE POSTED UP IN THE AFTERLIFE. Read if you want, review if you don't. Some people who have a life also have something called SKOOL. I don't have a life but that doesn't seem to keep homework from coming...Damn.

Send me a email or two. Helps to get poor soul like mine outta depression and onto the cobbled road of life with a cup of mocha or so. Yeah, I'm too young too drink coffee, talk to the mug man...

I'm down in the dumps and lower.