Hey guys here's another wonderful (if I do say so myself) crack fic that I have come up with to cure this stupid writer's block. Prepare for insanity (this is what happens when I watch too much Big Bang theory) A special thanks to Decteveram because without her story I would've never had the inspiration to write this story.
Hope you like it.
I DO NOT OWN YJ
Boredom is a bad thing. Especially for super powered teens. It was one of those nothing to do Saturdays and Robin, Kid Flash and Artemis were indeed very oh-so-painfully bored. Everyone else had something to do but the three heroes. Robin even searched the globe and it there were no crimes short of jaywalking taking place. It was official: there was nothing to do.
"I'm bored…" Wally complained.
Artemis's eye twitched slightly, "Newsflash Kid Idiot, we're all bored."
"What to do, what to do…" Robin murmured under his breath rubbing his hands together trying to think of some grand scheme.
"Robin do we have any ideas of what we can do to become unboredified?" (A/N I made up my own word b/c I'm awesome like that) Artemis asked again before whacking Wally upside the head just for the hell of it.
"HEY! What was that for?" He yelled rubbing his now stinging skull.
"You're bugging me." She reasoned. "So is there anything we can do?" she asked again.
"Well the only things I can think of is take over the world, duct tape Wally to the wall and use him as target practice or watch paint dry." He suggested with a shrug.
"I vote option number two!" Artemis stated cheerfully.
"I object!" Wally yelled not wanting to be used as a target...again.
"Fine, any one else have any brilliant ideas?" the ninja asked and there was a minute or so of silence while the other teens thought of their 'brilliant' ideas.
"We could go to an all you can eat buffet." Wally suggested
"That's stupid, I say we go paintballing." Artemis put out.
Robin rolled his eyes. "Remember we've already been banned from every paintball arena and buffet this side of the Mississippi."
"Oh yeah I forgot." The speedster and the archer said at the same time.
"I'll go get the paint." Robin stated dully and stalked off to go grab the paint when a shriek of excitement broke the boring silence.
"I'VE GOT IT!" Artemis shouted out in triumph.
"Got what?" Wally asked.
"The perfect idea." She continued visibly excited.
"Well then what is it?" Robin asked curious to see where this was going.
"We should go to Metropolis and piss off Superman. The boy scout deserves it for treating Conner like and ass." She finished with a smug look on her face.
"That is fantastic idea." Robin said and Wally earnestly nodded in agreement.
"Wait. Don't we need permission to leave the cave?" Wally asked.
"Don't worry I'll call Ollie. I'm pretty sure he'll let me do anything right now." Artemis added and pulled out her phone and dialed her mentor.
"Why would he let you do anything?" Wally asked confused.
"Because he's on a 'hot date' with Canary again." She replied and got permission for them do go do basically what ever the hell they wanted as long as they didn't disturb the emerald archer again.
And thus the unholy alliance was made and an evil plan created. After the three agreed on what they were exactly going to do the ill fated kryptonian they all set out through different zeta tubes in search of supplies. They all agreed to meet up at the Metropolis zeta tube in an hour and then their devious plan would go into action.
1 hour later…
The three heroes arrived at their designated meeting spot in front of an apartment building (said apartment building happened to be the same on a certain kryptonian lived in). They all carried bags of supplies, Artemis had buckets of washable paint and huge paint brushes, Wally had gotten the spray cheese, whipcream, frosting and sparkles and Robin had gotten about a hundred alarm clocks a few sonic grenades and the "harmless" exploding apple pie. The teens spread out their supplies in a nearby alley and regrouped preparing to pull off their biggest prank yet. After the supplies were divided out the moment they've all been waiting for arrived.
KF ran all over the city planting the sonic grenades and alarm clocks (that were all set to go off at the most ungodly of hours) in all the nooks and crannies. Artemis also left to go redecorate the Daily Planet globe with the sparkles, whipcream, spray cheese and frosting. And last but not least Robin took the buckets of paint and some how stealthily painted a very unflattering masterpiece of superman on the apartment building. (Do not question the mysterious ways of the bats) After admiring his work of art he used the rest of the paint and made another masterpiece on the side of the daily planet building.
About three hours later the trio met up at the apartment building and delivered the pie to the unsuspecting kryptonian's apartment.
"Dude, you have talent." Wally complemented looking at the painting of superman that managed to make him look like a stoned clown.
"Thanks, but do you think the note we left was a little too much?" the boy wonder asked.
"Nah, I think it's great. And calling him a super jackass was like icing on the cake." Artemis added.
"Ya, I'm still amazed you managed to make him look that stupid." Wally stated in awe.
"I can't wait to see the look on his face." Robin said evilly and cackled like a madman.
Artemis looked around the area of the city smiling at the painting on the daily planet. She found the 'Don't call us sidekicks' motto highly appropriate since the Boy Scout was notorious for calling them sidekicks. (The nerve) She was also admiring the new and improved daily planet globe that depicted a crossed out superman symbol. She also used the rest of her supplies to rig a glitter and cheese bomb in the kryptonian's apartment (a water balloon on a string).
Needless to say the trio was giddy with excitement when they finally made the anonymous call to the watchtower (where superman was on monitor duty at the time) and report that Luthor was at it again. The three then hightailed it back to the cave for pizza and to tell the others what they had done.
Robin never thought it was possible for Conner to smile so much. After he heard the news though the clone was happier than a little kid on Christmas. M'gann was horrified with their actions but once she saw the news reports she too was clutching her sides with laughter. Aqualad thought it was highly irresponsible but still he even found it hilarious. The six teens sat on the couch watching the five o' clock news while waiting for a phone call from one of their mentors.
Saying Superman was not pleased was the understatement of the century. When he saw what the mysterious perpetrators did to his city he was madder than Lex Luthor after being dyed purple by Kool aide. (Now that my friends is a story for another time He cursed under his breath as he cleaned the very unflattering pictures of himself off the sides of his apartment building and the Daily planet. Then the cleaned the anti superman signs off the globe of the Daily Planet. At that time he was so pissed steam was actually coming out of his ears. He was going to call Bruce when he got home to demand what was going on. Clark Kent was met with an un pleasant surprise as he opened the door to his apartment. The now cheese and glitter covered superhero shouted more angry curses as he continued walking down the hall. His spirits were lifted as he saw the apple pie waiting for him on the counter. Without thinking the boy scout in blue opened the box to cut himself a slice and before he knew it he was covered with pie. There was a small envelope at the bottom addressed to him, after he was sure it too was not going to explode the livid alien ripped it open and read the letter.
This is what you get for dissing Superboy.
Reject him again and we will declare war, this is just a sample of what we plan to do.
Also we don't appreciate being called sidekicks.
With a high lack of respect,
The speed demon, harpy, and ninja
(P. S. Do you realize your underwear goes on the inside of your pants?)
(P.P.S. Real men wear pants)
It took all the kryptonian had not to burn the note into oblivion. He was seething with anger as he called an emergency JL meeting and stormed off to the cave to go yell at the delinq-umm-sidekicks.
The team was sitting in front of the TV laughing at Superman when they heard the zeta tube announce the Man of Steel's arrival. He stormed into the living room and glared at the laughing teens. He was trying his damdest to look serious, but that was hard to do when you're covered with pie, spray cheese and glitter. Their laughter increased as he tried to compose himself. Just then the zeta tubes announced the arrival of the rest of the league arrived expecting some national emergency. Flash, GL and Green Arrow doubled over in laughter the moment they saw the livid pie, glitter and cheese covered kryptonian. Aquaman and Wonder Woman were clutching their sides in laughter and even Batman chuckled.
Thinking fast the three culprits proclaimed, "GA said we could!" All at the same time.
The archer held up his hands in defense declaring innocence. "I did not!"
"Yes you did." Robin took out his computer and played the recording.
"Oh shit…" the archer murmured as the man of steel started yelling at him.
Later that night Clark showered himself off and went home to get a well deserved good nights rest. Some time in the middle of the night the farm boy woke up to the sound of a blaring alarm. He groaned and turned to his alarm clock but found that it was not the cause of the atrocious noise. He looked around and finally saw the noise was coming from all over the city. He grudgingly put on his uniform and took off to destroy the evil devices planted all over the town.
Once he was sure there were no more alarm clocks the dead tired superhero flew back to his apartment and tried to catch some more shut-eye.
Unfortunately for him about an hour later he was woken up by a piercing noise. Clutching his ears and cursing the sidekicks he set off again to destroy the cause of the horrendous sound. After he was completely sure there were no more noise making devices the very dog-gone-tired reporter tried to catch some sleep before he had to go in for work.
Needless to say during the training session the next day, Superman finally showed up and took responsibility for training Conner, But not before giving a certain ninja, speedster and archer homicidal glares.
Later that day in the bat cave Bruce was cutting out the article in the paper on the recent vandalism in Metropolis. He framed it with the pictures of the paintings his young ward. Sure he punished him all right but that didn't mean he wasn't proud. The bat always relished the idea of pulling one over superman.
I am questioning my sanity right now. Please review. OR THE GODDAMN BATMAN WILL GO AFTER YOU! Also vote on my profile and yeah…