I couldn't wait, I just had to write the next chapter. I disregarded schoolwork for this but I don't really care.
Now that I think back on it, I remember that in the first year in Liverpool wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Of course I was still torn apart about the fact that I only ever say Josh on the holidays between school – and that was only if either of us had enough money to go and see the other. That pain lessened over the years and I had learned to live without him. We saw each other less and less until we didn't have any contact at all. He used to cross my mind every now and then though. I used to wonder about how he was doing, who he was friends with and what his life was like now.
My life had gotten a bit better; I had friends that actually cared, which was new considering that in Surrey I was considering the weird girl. I had a boyfriend at one stage if you can believe it. That didn't last too long because we were too different. That didn't bother me too much though; I was just as content being by myself.
When school ended and I said my goodbyes to the friends I'd made in Liverpool, I decided that I'd move somewhere new. I desperately wanted to move to London, only having been there on the trip to Liverpool when I first moved there. So I guess there was nothing left for me to do but to pack my bags and leave. Mum didn't take it too well, she cried for about an hour before I left. I didn't sympathise much considering that this was what it was like when I had to leave Josh. I smiled and waved as I reversed out onto the street and drove away.
That was almost four years ago now. I'd been living in London up until this day, working at a small boutique on the corner of my street. It was a lovely place to work, I didn't have to over exert myself and the pay was brilliant. I was able to live comfortably. The only annoying thing about where I lived was that it was across the street from Hyde Park. There was always some kind of concert happening and some of the artists that played were definitely not my preferred genre. I loved the indie rock; it was relaxing as well as extremely catchy. The heavier rock that was often played did my head in to the point of earplugs which was ridiculous because I couldn't even hear myself think. I learned to live with it.
I was now twenty-two and pretty much living the life I wanted. I could relax most days because the boutique never drew in many customers, just the overly rich ones that were able to afford what we sold. That inflow of money is what kept the shop afloat. We only needed to sell two or three items to pay the rent for a month. When those customers did come in I acted as friendly as possible – obviously – so that there was the highest chance of a sale. Today was different. I was in a horrible mood. I didn't know what brought it on but I couldn't act happy. Thankfully the store was dead quiet. I had about an hour until I had to close up shop so I decided that I'd start reading. I'd managed to read a few pages but the bell above the door rang signalling a customer. I didn't bother to look up from my book because I was too engrossed in the story. I heard their footsteps as they walked around the shop until they stopped. They must have picked something up because they continued to walk again, getting closer to the counter I was sitting at.
"Um, I'd like to buy this, if that's alright?"
"Yeah sure, just pass it over-"
I looked up at the man that wanted to make a purchase and almost choked on the tea I was currently drinking. My eyes widened and my jaw literally hit the floor.
"Josh?" I said in the quietest voice I didn't know I possessed.
"Uh yeah, do I know you?" he asked, scratching the back of his head trying to figure out if he'd seen me before.
"Well that's definitely not what you say to your old best friend." I joked.
His eyes lit up, obviously acknowledging who I was. The widest grin I'd ever seen spread across his face and he began to shake. He looked down at the floor and then I saw that his grin had disappeared. He stood in silence for about a minute before he began to talk.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, his voice cracking.
"Are you crying?"
"I'm sorry I never saw you. I missed you – I still miss you."
He looked up at me and a tear fell from his face. I had dropped the book I was reading and made my way around the counter. I slipped my hands around his waist and hugged him tight. He responded by wrapping his arms around me and hugging me equally as tight.
"It's my fault, Josh. I gave up because it just got too hard. That doesn't matter though. I missed you too."
He laughed with relief and I pulled away smiling up at him. God I missed you so much. He was exactly the same as he was when I left him. I missed the way he smelled, I missed the way he held me, I missed his voice and the way he smiled. I missed my first and only love. I kissed his cheek and the old but familiar taste of his tears hit me like a wave. The memories of us were flooding back.
I walked back around the counter and reached for the store keys. The owner wouldn't mind if I closed up twenty-five minutes early.
"So what do you say we go and catch up?" I said cheerfully. My bad mood was completely gone.
"I only have an hour or two, but of course." He said, smiling so wide it looked as though his cheeks were hurting.
We walked out of the shop and I locked up. I put the keys in my pocket and we began to walk down the street. I felt his hand brush mine but I acted as though I didn't notice and he must have done the same as well. It was only when I felt his fingers find mine that I decided to look up at him. He locked his fingers with mine and smiled.
"You don't know how much I missed you, Kyla."
I didn't know what her name was going to be, that's why I didn't mention it until now. I don't know if I like it but I'll just go with it. I'm not good with names.