Authors Note: Hello again! I can almost guarantee that you were not expecting another update from this story again. Forever. Well, I firstly wanted to thank everyone for the reviews still. To the ones who have accounts and to the ones who don't have accounts, you all are so awesome. So why are you getting this fabulous update? Because I wanted to give you a bit of what happened when Erik was alone with Emma for the first time in Erik's POV. At the end I had to change some of the lyrics in Music of the Night, hope you all don't hate me for it. Uhm, I also believe I made Emma two at the writing of this chapter, if she was three then just pretend that Erik didn't know, I mean he is a first time dad ha. Enjoy ;3
"First thing is first, she's being potty trained so when she wakes up check her Pull up. It shouldn't be wet but if it is, that's okay. Take her to the potty at least twice a hour. If she tells you she doesn't have to go, she normally does have to go. Sit there for as long as you need to." Christine grabbed her purse and made sure things were in it that she needed "She likes a total of four foods; chicken, peas, mashed potatoes and cheese pizza, no desserts, unless it's a graduate yogurt melt. She's also getting a few new teeth in so I normally freeze two rags and give her one to chew on, she gets discomforted easily and children's Tylenol will ease it up. It's in her bag." Christine pointed up stairs "That's in my room." She paused as if she were in thought for a moment "She loves Disney princesses so if you have any of those movies you've bought yourself a few hours to read the paper or do whatever it is that you do. Barney is another favorite and she's scared of Yo Gabba Gabba. Make sure she has her Sippy cup when she takes her naps at twelve and four and when you give her a bath make sure she doesn't get shampoo on her forehead or she'll freak out. At night time she likes to be told a story, make one up if you have to. She also loves to be sung to sleep; she and I both found it peaceful." I watched as Christine threw her purse over her shoulder and chewed on her bottom lip slightly, how I loved it when she did that; it drove me mad. "If you need to get a hold of me, for any reason whatsoever you…" she pulled her cell phone out of her bag, shook it in her hand before throwing it back in the bag when she frowned "you know how to reach me."
I nodded slowly "She likes the park, yes?"
Christine nodded and once again tossed her bag on her arm "Yes, she loves the park."
I nodded slightly before relieving a shaky exhale "Okay, great."
Christine nodded before she turned on her heel and walked out of the door; her butt always did look awesome when she wore heels. I stared after her well until the elevator door had shut and I was sure that she was half way on her way to work when I finally decided to move to the bar stool where my paper sat. I looked at my watch and then back to the door, only 8:15. Twelve more hours.
At about 8:45 I heard the padding of little feet on the top floor and looked over to see the tiny girl slowly coming down the stairs one by one, a teddy bear wrapped in her left arm, her right arm holding onto the metal banisters. I sighed and pushed myself up off the stool and walked up the stairs before she made it to the third step and scooped her up, protecting her.
"Erik..." the little girl with the big brown eyes looked up at me "I'm hungry."
"What would you like?"
She thought for a moment and looked at the white teddy bear before looking back up at me "Pancakes!"
I laughed slightly "Pancakes? Are you sure? Does mommy give you pancakes for breakfast?"
She nodded slowly, her messy hair bouncing all over the place "Yep!"
I nodded and set her down on the couch, pulling a blanket out from underneath, setting in on her tiny lap "Barney?"
"BARNEY!" She stood up on the couch knocking the blanket off the couch and onto the floor before completely jumping up and down.
"Okay! Okay!" I practically whimpered; I was exhausted already and the only thing Emma did was jump up and down on my Italian leather couch, my perfect, pristine couch. I turned on the tv and quickly found a big purple dinosaur which caused Emma to settle down almost immediately. I exhaled deeply and backed away slowly from the couch and into the kitchen. Was nine in the morning too early for a stiff drink?
After pancakes were made and practically mushed into the carpet with last nights mashed potatoes, I took Emma upstairs to get her dressed. I placed the little girl on the tiny bed and turned to her dresser drawer – what did little girls wear?
"Erik." I turned around to look up at the blinking two year old "I went pee pee!" she giggled and stood up off her bed before she went running down the hall. I groaned slightly but thanked myself mentally that I had forgot to check her… diaper? No Christine didn't call it that, it wasn't that important anyway. I caught up with the little girl who was putting her sticky fingers all over the silver handle and white door that connected into my bedroom. I thanked myself for being quick, because lord knows what sort of damage those sticky little syrup covered fingers would have done.
"You should tell me when you need to go pee pee Emma." I threw her over my shoulder and walked back to her bedroom, placing her on the bed once again before I shut the door; there was no way that she was getting out this time.
"I have to go pee pee, Erik." She looked up at me.
"But you just went."
"I really have to go pee pee!" She started jumping on her bed, and started to pull down her diaper-thing.
"okay! Okay!" I picked her up and held her as far away from me as I possibly could, there was no way this child was peeing on me, my child or not.
Once Emma and I made it to the bathroom we sat there for a good hour and a half before she actually went to the bathroom. After that we made our way back into her bedroom and I dressed her in a pair of striped stretchy pants and a Disney princess top, that's what little girls liked right? After that we made our way to the park which had turned into a disaster because she had seen a child with a cast on his leg, and decided that she wanted one too; then it started to rain but she didn't want to leave and ended up getting mud all over her shoes and pants. Once we got in the car, Emma screamed the whole way home about how she wanted to go back to the park, how I was a mean person and how she wanted a new leg like the boy at the park. We got home in time for the thunder and lightning to start which scared Emma and kept her at my side while I made her a macaroni and cheese lunch. After lunch and a quick change back into pajamas, we settled down back on the couch where I made her a cast out of the blanket that was on the floor. She seemed content with it and after an hour of watching the Disney channel she fell right to sleep.
I fell asleep as well.
I woke up to a wet cheek and opened my eyes to see Emma licking it. She ran away giggling before I started to chase her. It wasn't something I was expecting but the chase turned into a horrible game of hide and seek where I had literally lost Emma in the penthouse for two and a half hours. I looked everywhere for her but finally found her buried in the covers on my bed, snoozing away. I took advantage of the opportunity and went to go read the paper, which I had still yet to look at from this morning. I settled down in my office, since it was the closest to my bedroom before I cracked open the paper, but I found my eyelids falling and soon, I was asleep.
I woke up to the sound of something falling down the stairs and both my stomach and heart disappeared. I stood up, pushing the chair behind me so far and so fast that it bumped into the glass window but at the moment my thoughts were on Emma. I slid out into the hallway where I found Emma sitting at the top of the stairs, but decorations that I had bought from India were bouncing down the stairs and shattering into a million pieces on the floor below. I panicked and quickly tore the decoration out of Emma's hand and placed it back on the lower shelf where all the others had sat.
I was one hundred percent sure that this child was the spawn of Satan himself.
I took Emma downstairs and playfully threw her on the couch. She giggled and we started a game to where I'd throw her down, she'd pretend she was hurt, so then I became a doctor and gave her a cast. This lasted about thirty minutes before I was tired of lifting her twenty pound body and tossing it onto the soft padded couch. I met many complaints from Emma before I decided to break down and buy beauty and the beast on pay per view. Once the beginning music started, she calmed down and cuddled up next to me.
I was astonished on how much my relationship with Christine had been like the beast and belles. He held her captive and wasn't that what I was doing with Christine? No, she was free to go anytime she liked, I never told her, because I never wanted her to go, I would be devastated like the time that I had left her. I sighed slightly and rubbed the exposed side of my face. I, like the beast, was a monster, in more ways than one.
After beauty and the beast was over and a few more games of tossing Emma onto the couch was played, I put on the TV and proceeded to order a cheese pizza- there was no way that I was going to cook.
I quickly hung up the phone and made my way into the living room where I found Emma staring at the tv in fright at the orange… thing that danced on the TV. This must have been the show that she was afraid of. Tears slid down her face as she cuddled under the blanket as much as she could and this was of course the time that I went stupid with the remote. After fumbling around and getting new batteries in it, I finally changed it to the next station, which wasn't any better; that 70s show wasn't meant for little two year old girls.
I picked up the little girl who was shaking un-controably. Tears and shaking took over her tiny little body and she clung onto me for dear life. I rocked her back and forth and even took the liberty of bouncing her like she had been a newborn baby. Christine didn't tell me how to comfort her if she happened to watch the show, so I did the best I could. Once the pizza got here I had to set her down, but she stayed latched to my leg, making it awkward to walk.
Dinner went by smoothly. It seemed as if Emma was getting better as she was now smiling and laughing at something I would say, even if it wasn't funny. The word 'hot' made her laugh hysterically, which caused me to chuckle once or twice.
Bath time didn't so as smoothly as dinner had. Soap had gotten onto Emma's forehead causing her to freak out, but I took care of it quickly and put soap on the exposed part of my forehead, prompting her to forget all about the soap that was on hers. After she was washed she started to play, splashing water everywhere. I was sure that by the time she and I got out of the bathroom water covered ninety percent of the room.
I let her pick out her big girl panties and her pajamas and helped her get dressed before I tucked her into bed. I made my way to the door before I heard the tiny voice I had been getting accustomed to the past couple hours.
I looked over at her, about to turn off the light "Hm..?"
I thought for a moment and sat down on the floor next to her bed, I was positive that if I had sat on it, I'd break the plastic bed in half. I told her the story of how her mother and I met, except instead of Harvard it was a castle, she was a princess and I was a knight; except their story ended differently; happily.
"Song?" she questioned sleepily.
I nodded "Sure thing, jelly bean." I smiled as she busted out into a fit of giggles. "Okay, are you ready?" she nodded as she settled back into her bed, a giggle or two escaping "Night time sharpens, heightens each sensation. Darkness stirs and wakes imagination. Silently the senses abandon their defenses.." I lowered my voice as the breathing pattern of the child changed. The last time I had sung to anyone was to Christine and it was this song; and I had missed it "Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor. Grasp it, sense it tremulous and tender. Turn your face away from garish light of day, turn your thoughts away from cold unfeeling light and listen to the music of the night. Close your eyes and surrender to your nicest dreams, close your eyes let your spirit start to soar" I shook my head, wrong lyrics, a whole line taken out; it was all wrong but for a child of two, I had to make it appropriate "And you'll live, as you've never lived before." I looked down at the child and smiled slightly "Softly, deftly, music shall caress you. Hear it, feel it, secretly befriend you. Open up your mind let your fantasies unwind in the darkness that you know you cannot fight, the darkness of the music of the night. Let your mind start to journey through a strange new world, leave the thoughts of the life you knew before, let your soul take you where you long to be." I inhaled sharply and looked down at the child before I moved a piece of hair from her face "only then can you belong to me. Floating, Falling, sweet intoxication, let the dream begin let your darker side give in to the power of the music that I write; the power of the music of the night." Before I stood up, I kissed the little girl on the forehead and made my way to the door. I shut the light off and looked back over at her "You alone can make my song take flight, only with the music of the night." I watched her roll over in her sleep before I shut the door quietly behind me. Making the song child friendly wasn't something I was expecting, but it was nice.
I told Maurice about the sleeping child and for him to keep an eye out on the door if she was to wake up while I took a shower. I desperately needed one. Once the warm water hit my body I was in heaven. My arms were sore from the countless times Emma had wanted me to toss her on the couch; I had created a monstrous game. My legs were tired from chasing Emma around and I was just tired all over. I took off my mask, leaned out of the shower and put it on the back of the toilet. The warm water was a welcome to both sides of my face, the one side that Christine had marred welcomed it to the fullest extent. After my shower I pulled on my favorite pair of sweat pants and my favorite Harvard tee shirt before I made my way downstairs to the smell of Rosemary Chicken.
It sat steaming hot on the counter top with a note from Maurice about supper for Christine and I. Had I been in the shower long enough for Rosemary Chicken to be made? I shrugged and took a plate to the warmer, placing it inside for Christine. I scarfed the meal down; the slice of pizza I had at dinner with Emma didn't cut it and I was thankful for the rosemary chicken.
After I ate my dinner in silence I took the paper and made my way to the couch to enjoy the paper for the first time that day. After I had read the paper I made my way into my office, get something done for the company at least. At about nine thirty I heard the elevator ding and the doors shut casually. Christine was home.
"Act casual." I muttered to myself. The thought that Christine had still came home was gratifying, made me feel like a little boy once again and although I'd never admit it out loud, Christine always gave me butterflies, the kind young girls talk about getting. I stared down at my paper and started writing nonsense on it, just to keep myself distracted as the sound of her ass catching heels clicked up the steps one by one. I lifted my eye up as she walked past my office and into Emma's room. I exhaled and made my move, silently moving to the child's room and positioned myself on the door frame a few times before I settled on a position "She's been asleep for a couple of hours now." She looked at me and made her way out of the room, causing me to shut the door silently "Dinner's in the warmer if you'd like it."
She smiled at me and made her way into the kitchen. I followed like a lost little puppy dog "I'd love it, I'm absolutely starved!" she pulled the pate from the warmer and went to the kitchen table "I don't think I ate at all today." She went back into the kitchen, leaving me alone in the dining room "No." she paused at the door before she made her way to the table "I did." She nodded and I loved the way her hair bounced "I had a granola bar at twelve."
I looked at her "you don't eat much do you?" I chuckled slightly "I remember in college how you'd always raid the snack machine in Theodore Hall claiming they had the best snacks."
She laughed slightly, the sound of it making my heart melt "they did have the best snacks." She took a bite of the chicken and closed her eyes, it was delicious "Remember that time when we were in speech that…" she laughed slightly "That Raoul fell down the lecture hall stairs and blamed you?"
I took the opportunity of her looking at her plate to scowl. He was a fop, a foolish little boy "Well, he shouldn't have tried to kiss you."
I cursed to myself as we both fell silent but Christine decided to break the silence first "do you think.." she exhaled, obviously a bit nervous "that things would have turned out a bit differently if I didn't become pregnant? Or if I had told you the news in absolute private? Where no one could hear, you know?"
I exhaled and after a while I spoke "I think things would have turned out much differently if you didn't become pregnant, yes. I don't think your eyes would light up the way they do each time you see Emma. I don't think they'd sparkle every time she did something cute or handed you a toy to play with. I think you'd be even more engrossed in your work than you already are and I think you'd be lost." The same way I had been lost without her.
"well," she smiled and looked up at me "It's a good thing that I have a great sense of direction" She smiled at me before she took a bite of the cheesy mashed potatoes "How were things with Emma today?"
I thought for a moment. They were dreadful, awful, tear filled and most importantly they were perfectly imperfect in my almost perfect life. "Well, she woke up not too long after you left. I fed her breakfast and" I pointed to a spot where a pancake had landed "she threw a pancake." I furrowed my eyebrows in annoyance "but after that we watched barney and went to the park. She saw a kid with a cast on his leg and she wanted one so we came home and made a cast out of her blanket." I thought it would be best to completely leave out the whole game of tossing Emma onto the couch. Emma loved it, Christine probably wouldn't have. "She went to sleep watching the Disney channel, both naps" minus the nap that I had actually lost my daughter in my house "we had a pretty smooth dinner and bath time" I leaned back in the chair and crossed a leg "I told her a story" and I had sang her a song "and she fell right to sleep. It was pretty easy day." I lied once again.
She smiled that fabulous smile and pushed her empty plate away "So first day as daddy went smoother than expected?"
I sighed and rubbed the exposed side of my face "She doesn't know who I am , does she?"
She looked at me confused "What do you mean?"
I sighed again and looked up at her, tiredly rubbing the exposed side of my face once again "She never once called me daddy. You never told her about me?"
Christine rested a hand on top of mine and it made my heart pound harder "Of course I did Erik! I told her everything I knew about you! It's just she doesn't recognize you, not with that mask on your face." She rubbed her thumb on top of my hand, the same way I used to do to her "give her time, she'll come around."
I sighed slightly and went to bed that night, hoping both of my girls would come around; I was so lonely.