A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I FINISHED IT! AFTER SIX MONTHS, THREE NOTEBOOKS, 53 PAGES, AND 27,000 WORDS, I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS STUPID CHAPTER!
You guys better love it. I physically murdered the fourth wall in this chapter. Like, it no longer exists, that's how badly I destroyed it. It was fun.
Now before we begin, PLEASE READ THIS A/N AS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT.
First of all, thank you so much to everyone who submitted an OC. Even though I grew to hate every single one of those OCs over the last six months (not because there was anything wrong with them, but just because there were so many of them), I am really glad that I was able to put so many of my readers into such a special chapter.
Secondly, I want to let you know, that because I got so many OC submissions, I very seldom did more with your character than exactly what you gave me, especially as I got farther into the chapter and got bored. So, if your character only has a paragraph of screen time, and it's physically just a copy and paste of the charrie card, please don't hate me, you're not the only one I did it to.
Speaking of which, if you have a problem with any OC that is not yours (or even if it is yours) please don't flame me about it, since again- it's exactly what the creators gave me. The only OCs I will give you permission to complain about are CPG, Stacey Wood, Gerald, and Bob (and that's only because those are mine).
Next, I would like to list each of the people who submitted characters, to give them each a little shout out. Note that the pennames I have for you are the ones I wrote down six months ago, so I apologize if you've changed your name since then.
So, thank you to (in no particular order):
The Silent Book-reader
Zero202 (even though you did eventually withdraw your character, I still thank you for submitting in the first place)
The Son of Hades123
The Queen of Valencia Torgue
the reading girl
Penny aria's sis
GirlWithTheButterflyPillow (aka my little sister :D)
Annabeth (you have an account now but I forget what your penname is so I'm just leaving you like that)
Nyx and Athena
Random Person With No Name
A Pencil and a Dream
Princess of Flames
and 5 unnamed Guests
So many people. Happy face. Anyway, last thing, and then I'll let (most of) you go read the chapter. Now, this is a long chapter. A really long chapter. And I would like to hear each and every one of your opinions of the whole chapter. So, to get the full extent of the reading experience, I ask that you each open this page in a second tab, scroll all the way down to the bottom, and type your review as you read, so that you don't forget anything you want to tell me in a review. Just a suggestion, but I think it's a helpful one.
Now, if you see your penname below (again, the penname you had six months ago), please read the message I wrote for you. It simply means something came to me as I was writing your character, and I wanted to make sure you were aware of it before you read the chapter. If you don't see your name below, enjoy :D
Again, in no particular order:
Lightning McLean: I just wanted to let you know, I took a lot of creative liberties when you said to make Samantha's appearance "anything." So, just warning you of that ahead of time. That's why she dresses really weird.
PJOrulz: I don't know what my state of mind was when I wrote your character, but I gave ChickWithThePurpleGuitar a past relationship with your character, Dante. Nothing happens between them in the chapter, they don't even interact ever, but it's talked about, so I just wanted to give you a heads up.
44Lefty: When you wrote a review telling me that I could take out your character if necessary, I had already written in Axel/Axelia, so I considered not writing in Miguel, but by the time I got to him, it made no difference. So all your characters are in there, but I just wanted to thank you for trying to make my life easier, even just a little bit. It's much appreciated :D
Zero202: Even though I took out the scene with your character, I still have it written, so if you want to read it, let me know and I'll PM it to you. I will say this though, it's not my best work, but if you want it just tell me.
Finwitch1: Just letting you know, I don't speak Dutch. I used Google Translate for Hoop's scene. Also I gave her more backstory that had to do with my own characters. Just letting you know.
TheGirlInTheBack: You said I could add stuff to Hailey as long as it wasn't too weird… Hopefully you don't think ninjas are weird… Cause I made her a ninja…
gardenGnostalgic: Yeah, my character indirectly flirted with your character. Physically, nothing happens, I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Lumiera: Just wanted to let you know, the only type of bipolar disorder I know anything about is Bipolar II, so that's what I gave Lilah.
And now, without further ado, I give you all… The Oh, Nico 50th Chapter Spectacular! Enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: I don't own PJO, SPN, DW, Sherlock, Fiddler on the Roof, or anything else I reference. I also don't own any of the 89 OCs submitted to me, but I do own CPG, Gerald and his family, Bob, and this fic.
We made it, guys. Here's to 50 more.
Oh, Nico 50th Chapter Spectacular
For once in his life, Nico knew exactly how Percy felt, as the Stoll Brothers burst into his cabin. "Nico!"
Nico sighed, reluctantly looking up from the mini-sardine he was trying to coax into Quate's mouth. "What do you guys want?"
"You'll never believe who just got here!" Travis exclaimed.
Naturally, Nico tried to guess. "Batman? Scarlett Johansson? The entire cast of the Lego Movie?! Cause I asked if they could come."
"No," Connor said, looking excited. "ChickWithThePurpleGuitar!"
"And," Travis added. "She's totally hot." The brothers high-fived.
Nico just stared at them, Quate falling out of his hands onto the bed. "ChickWithThePurpleGuitar?" he repeated in a horrified whisper. "You mean, the one who wrote that… fanfiction?"
The brothers nodded happily. Nico narrowed his eyes. "What is she doing here?" he growled.
"Why don't you go ask her yourself?" Travis suggested. "She's in the Big House, talking to Chiron."
Nico frowned. "Wait, how do you know it's her? How do you even know what she looks like?"
"She's a girl carrying a purple guitar, who else would she be?" Connor explained.
"Also, we got Malcolm to hack into her fanfiction account so we saw a picture of her on the Internet," Travis added.
Nico sighed. "Come on, guys. Isn't that, like, really illegal?"
The brothers shrugged.
Nico rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll go talk to this 'ChickWithThePurpleGuitar'. In fact, I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind!"
With that, Nico gathered up his walrus penguin babies and stormed dramatically out of the cabin.
Chiron the centaur was calmly writing up a file on the strange behavioral patterns of sons of Hades when the front door to the Big House burst open in a dramatic flash of light.
Chiron spun around in his wheelchair, blinking against the bright light streaming into the living room. His eyes widened at the sight of a young girl framed by the light, with flowing brown hair and colorless white eyes, holding a purple acoustic guitar. As the light faded around her, her eyes turned a warm brown.
Chiron bowed his head in respect. "Your ladyship," he greeted her.
The girl smirked. "Hey, Chiron. Good to see you again."
Chiron risked a glance up at the girl, who was leaning her guitar against the wall.
"Why are you here, my lady? Is there anything I can help you with?"
The girl chuckled. "Gods, Chiron, stop being so nervous. I'm not writing today, I'm just here to talk."
Chiron relaxed just a bit, but made sure to stay on guard- you could never be too careful with minor gods, they tended to get offended quite easily. "What did you want to talk about?"
"My subfandom," she replied, leaning against the wall next to her guitar. "Now, you and I both know you're not real, and therefore I control you and the plot of your lives-"
"Doesn't Lord Riordan technically control us, and that's why you can't write plot…?"
The girl glared at him and her eyes flashed white, so Chiron decided to stop talking.
"I admit that Oh, Nico has very little plot, if any," she agreed. "But that's what makes it so lovable. And besides, my other fics have plot."
Chiron frowned. "Well, yeah, but aren't they all AUs?"
"Shut up, Chiron, you're not helping!" The girl snapped, her eyes burning white yet again.
Chiron bowed his head. "I apologize, my lady, please continue."
The girl sighed and her eyes melted back to brown. "Thank you. Now, as I was saying, I control you. And therefore, I deserve some worship in this camp, right?"
Chiron raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying you want a cabin here? My lady, you don't have children…"
She groaned. "No, you stupid centaur! I want to have fans in this camp, other than the Stoll Brothers! Get me fans, and I'll finally write that fic I promised you where you get married to an immortal mermaid named Teacher."
Chiron's eyes widened in excitement. "Yes, my lady. I'll get right to work on it."
ChickWithThePurpleGuitar, goddess of fanfiction, smirked, grabbed her guitar, and disappeared.
"WHERE IS SHE?!" Nico di Angelo shouted, bursting dramatically into the Big House.
Chiron quickly finished the list he was making of fans for the goddess, then looked up at the son of Hades and raised an eyebrow. "Where is who, Mr. di Angelo?"
"ChickWithThePurpleGuitar," Nico growled. "I need to yell at her for making up my life."
Chiron's eyes widened. "No, Nico! You can't do that! She'll destroy you!"
Nico frowned. "Why would she do that?"
"ChickWithThePurpleGuitar is a goddess!" Chiron told him. "The goddess of fanfiction!"
Nico blinked. "That's a thing?"
Chiron rolled his eyes. "Yes, that's a thing. And she's a very sensitive goddess, so you don't want to anger her."
Nico pouted. "But she made up my life," he complained.
"That's her job," Chiron explained. "That's what fanfictions are."
Nico sighed. "Fine. Can I at least ask her nicely to stop making up my life?"
Chiron shrugged. "If you want to. You should probably make an offering to her first, though, just to be safe."
Nico frowned. "What kind of offering?"
Chiron handed him the list he'd made. "This is a list of campers who have read or are willing to read Oh, Nico- don't ask how I know, I just do. I want you to go to each of them and record their reactions to the story."
Nico glanced down at the list and his eyes widened. "This is like a hundred people!"
"Only eighty-nine, actually," Chiron corrected. "She wanted a subfandom. So, anyway, record their opinions and bring them back here."
Nico groaned. "Ugh. Fine. I'll be back in…" he flipped through the multiple pages of the list. "... a couple hours. Maybe days." He sighed. "Kay, bye."
With that, Nico disappeared in a swirl of shadows.
Chiron chuckled, glad his job was done, and went back to his files.
Nico stood outside the Hecate cabin, staring at the list in his hand. He glanced up at the cabin door, back down at the list, once again at the door, and then frowned. "What in Hades is a Legacy of Athena?"
"It means I'm blessed."
Nico spun around, reaching for his sword, then froze at who stood there. The girl looked to be about his age, but she was taller than him, which made Nico automatically dislike her. She had long black hair with light blue streaks in it and startling blue eyes. Her hair hid most of her pale face, but as she smiled warmly at Nico, she tucked it behind her ear.
"I've told you that," the girl continued. "My mother is Hecate, but my father was a son of Athena, so she blesses my quests."
Nico blinked, confused and slightly disturbed by this girl. He looked back down at his list. "Are you… Meredith Carson?"
The girl smirked. "You're funny," she said sarcastically, walking past him to the cabin door.
After a short hesitation, Nico turned and frowned in confusion at her. "That… doesn't even remotely answer the question."
She laughed as she entered the cabin, facing Nico as she plopped into a purple beanbag. "Honestly, Nico, you'd think after four years, you'd know my name."
Nico found himself staring at the girl. "Is… that a yes?"
She nodded, grinning like he was an idiot.
"Great," Nico muttered, checking her name off on his list. "You could've just said that in the first place…"
"So, anyway, what's up?" Meredith asked him, sounding way too casual for someone he'd just met. "How's Gerald doing?"
Nico's head snapped up and he stared at her, his eyes wide. "What?"
"Gerald," Meredith repeated. "Is he all freaked out about being a dad?"
It took Nico a minute to process her question, but finally he whispered, "How do you know about my penguins?"
Meredith raised an eyebrow, looking at him like he was crazy. "Um… I was there when you got them?"
Slowly, Nico shook his head. "No… it was just me and Percy."
"Yeah, you and Percy, and me," Meredith corrected. "Remember? Percy got Truth or Dare'd into scaring you in Antarctica, and I came to try and stop him?"
"That definitely didn't happen," Nico insisted, "considering I don't really know you…"
Meredith's smile disappeared and her eyes flashed with pain. "What are you talking about?" she whispered. "I'm your best friend."
Nico slowly raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"You're like a brother to me," Meredith continued, sounding desperate. "I would do anything for you, and you'd do anything for me! We pull pranks together, and when I keep insisting that I can do everything myself, you keep me from getting killed, and I trust you, which is like, really rare for me." When Nico continued to stare at her like she was crazy, she continued. "We went on six quests together this year alone. You shadow-traveled all the way to Scotland just to prove to me that Hogwarts wasn't real!"
"Why would I do that?!" Nico exclaimed. "Hogwarts is totally real! Plus, shadow-traveling to Scotland is exhausting!"
Meredith stared at him for a moment, looking hurt and confused, but then something seemed to dawn on her and she nodded in understanding. "Are we in an amnesia fic?" she asked. "Is that what's happening right now?"
"Are you kidding me?!" Nico practically shouted. "That's not a thing! (A/N: Btw, that's totally a thing and it's my favorite thing in existence) I don't know you! There is no way you're actually real! In fact-" Nico suddenly gasped as he finally realized what the Hades was going on. "That's it! The goddess! You know what, Meredith?" he asked, trying to sound more calm and less insane. "I'm really sorry about all this, I've been really off today. I'll be right back. You stay here, and don't…" Nico gestured helplessly, already halfway to the door. "Just don't… exist."
With that, Nico hurried out of the cabin and towards the Big House, determined to find out exactly what was happening to his life.
The centaur dropped his files in surprise, spinning around as papers flew everywhere.
ChickWithThePurpleGuitar stood in the doorway, blasted by light, her guitar in one hand and a bronze sword in the other. Chiron found himself staring at the goddess, eyes wide in fear.
The light died around her, and ChickWithThePurpleGuitar set her guitar down by the wall.
"I'm really tempted to start singing Fruma Sarah right now," she muttered, then sighed. "But that takes effort and energy, neither of which I have, so!" The goddess swung her sword dramatically- Chiron wisely chose not to question where she got it, as it seemed to be camp issue- and cut the ping-pong table in half, causing Chiron to jump in his seat. She grinned maliciously. "Let's cut to the chase!" The smile disappeared. "Did you tell Nico to generate my subfandom?!"
Chiron shifted uncomfortably. "Well… yes… He wanted to speak with you, so I thought gathering your fans would be a good offering to make to you."
ChickWithThePurpleGuitar rolled her eyes. "Chiron! You can't do that!" she scolded. "All my fans are OCs! They're all gonna have, like, preconceived connections with him that he won't understand! Some of them are even his siblings! You know how badly he's gonna freak out after meeting them?" She stopped as she seemed to realize something. "Actually… that could be really funny to watch… All right, fine. Let him generate my subfandom. But Teacher's getting a mustache."
With that, the goddess sheathed her sword, grabbed her guitar, and disappeared.
Chiron sighed and started to pick up his files. But apparently the time to relax had not yet come.
"Chiron!" Nico di Angelo shouted as he burst through the door of the Big House. Chiron sighed again and spun around to face the son of Hades. "Why do the fans know my penguins?!" he demanded. "And think they're my best friend when I've never seen them in my life?! What did ChickWithThePurpleGuitar do?!"
For the third time in as many minutes, Chiron sighed. "Mr. di Angelo…" he said slowly. "You remember I told you the goddess's job was to, as you say, 'make up your life'?" Nico nodded. "Well, she's gotten rather good at doing that, as I'm sure you've noticed," he nodded again, rather reluctantly, "but her specialty is AUs, and- though she's been avoiding them lately- OCs are often involved in them, you see?"
Nico blinked. "You just said a bunch of letters at me and I have no idea what they mean."
"AUs are alternate universes," Chiron explained. "As in, an alternate universe where your best friend is a girl you've never really met. Or, an alternate universe where you have the mind of a ten-year-old despite the fact that you're almost fifteen."
"What's that one?" Nico asked.
"Not important," Chiron assured him. "Anyway, ChickWithThePurpleGuitar writes a lot of AUs, is the point. And then OCs are original characters, or characters created solely for that fanfiction, ones that aren't main characters in the fandom."
"I'm a main character, right?" Nico made sure.
Chiron rolled his eyes. "Yes, Mr. di Angelo, you're a main character."
Nico nodded. "Good."
"Anyway," Chiron continued, "Pretty much all of the fans on your list are OCs, so they might have interesting relationships with you that you're unaware of. Just play along."
Nico sighed. "Okay, fine."
He shadow-traveled away, once again leaving Chiron alone. The centaur waited a moment just to make sure no one else showed up, then went back to his files, muttering, "I really need to get a new job."
Nico returned to the Hecate Cabin and apologized to Meredith, claiming he "hadn't gotten used to the AU yet" (she didn't even question; OCs were weird), then recorded her reaction to the fic (her exact words, "Hahahahahahahaha!" He wasn't sure if he should be offended by that or not) and asked if he could see her sister Cara, another daughter of Hecate who was on his fan list.
"Oh, sure, I'll go get her!" Meredith said, grinning. "And then I'll see you later?"
"Uh…" Nico replied awkwardly. "Yeah… Totally."
"Awesome!" Meredith disappeared down a hallway, and Nico turned away, deciding to wait outside the cabin for the next girl.
"Note to self," he muttered as he closed the door. "File restraining order for all OCs who think they know me."
Nico spun around as the cabin door opened behind him and a girl came out. She looked older than him, probably about sixteen. She looked to be a little over five feet, and she had medium length dark brown hair, a very pale, freckled face, and was wearing a nametag that said, "I weigh 111 lbs- cool, right?!"
But she was an OC, so of course that wasn't the strangest thing about her. She also had a rabbit sitting on her shoulder. A rabbit. I mean, it was a really cute rabbit, but still…
Nico blinked at the girl standing there, then awkwardly cleared his throat. "Um… are you… Cara Pixxel?"
"Yep!" she replied happily.
Nico was still staring at the rabbit. "And, you, uh… you like rabbits?"
Cara grinned. "I LOVE rabbits! Pebbles here sits on my shoulder all the time." She reached up to pet the rabbit, who started purring like a cat.
Nico cleared his throat again. "That's… awesome," he managed. "Not at all weird… Anyway, have you ever heard of the fanfiction Oh, Nico?"
"Oh, yeah, I love it!" Cara exclaimed. "I think you are absolutely adorable," she leaned forward to pinch Nico's cheek, but he stepped back and put a hand on his sword before she could. "And… Percy is amazing," she finished awkwardly as she straightened up.
"Great," Nico said through clenched teeth as he stared at her, his eyes wide. "Thanks, that's all I needed. Could you see if your sister Racheal is here?"
"Uh… yeah, sure." Cara went back inside the cabin.
Nico finally relaxed and let go of his sword to record her opinion. "No, I lied," he muttered to himself. "Restraining order for all OCs."
The next girl who came out was named Racheal Kivara. She was a skinny thirteen-year-old of average height, with brown hair, green eyes, and freckles. She hadn't yet read Oh, Nico, so she led him to the computer in the Hecate Cabin where she opened up the fic.
By the time she'd finished the forty-ninth chapter, she'd fallen to the floor, she was laughing so hard.
Nico glared down at her. "So, what'd you think?"
All Racheal was able to say was, "HA HA HA HILARIOUS!"
Nico humphed as he wrote that down. He was starting to get seriously offended by this fic.
"There is one thing, though," Racheal said once she'd recovered. "Your penguins are kind of lame."
"What?!" Nico exclaimed, shocked. "No they're not!"
Racheal shrugged. "It'd be cooler if you had pandas."
"What are you talking about?!" Nico demanded. "Penguins are way better than pandas!"
Racheal laughed. "As if! Pandas are way cooler than penguins."
"Are not!" Nico shouted.
This argument went on to waste the next six hours of Nico's life. They only stopped because it was dinner time, but the fight continued silently from across the dining pavilion. Insults were mouthed. Food was thrown. Punishments were given (except not to Nico, because Chiron was niceish and understood that meeting a bunch of OCs was punishment enough).
When Nico returned to the Hecate Cabin the next day, he made sure Racheal was nowhere in sight before he knocked on the door.
Apparently OCs had some weird sensor thing (that Nico was more than a little bit scared of) because the girl who opened the door was just who he'd been looking for.
Her name was Hailey Rane, and she was next on his list. She was twelve years old, had brown hair and brown eyes, really normal-looking, except for a ring of purple and orange around the irises of her eyes. She had a bit of black eyeliner on and was wearing the normal camp uniform- jeans and an orange t-shirt. The only really strange thing was that what looked to be a nunchuk (and not the Nintendo kind) was sticking out of her pocket.
"You're Hailey?" Nico asked.
"You some kind of ninja or something?
"Whoa. That's kind of awesome."
"You don't talk much, do you?" Nico observed.
Hailey shook her head.
"Makes sense. For a ninja."
"Anyway, I need to ask you a question, so, uh… you're kinda gonna have to talk…"
Hailey nodded, looking annoyed.
"Okay. Have you ever heard of the fanfiction Oh, Nico?"
Her face took on a look of recognition. "Oh, I love it," she said, surprisingly audibly for a ninja. "I think it's hilarious and it cheers me up when I'm a little sad."
Nico nodded and wrote that down. "Good, good, that's awesome. Thanks for your time. Now, if you could do me a favor and call out your brother Andrew, that'd be-"
Nico looked up and saw that Hailey had disappeared.
"Huh," he muttered. "Guess she really is a ninja…"
A few minutes later, a boy exited the cabin. He looked about fifteen, with dark skin, short black hair, and honey brown eyes with glasses. He was tall, like 6'4'', so Nico had to crane his neck just to see his strong jawline. He actually had to take a step back to see the guy's face. Andrew was wearing a plaid shirt and jeans and was holding a red, tassled hat in one hand.
"Can I help you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Nico.
Nico eyed his hat curiously. "Uh, yeah… Are you Andrew Bailey?"
He nodded. "Yeah, they call me Andy. Why? What's it to you?"
"I'm sorry," Nico said distractedly, still staring at the hat. "Is that a fez?"
Andy chuckled. "Uh, yeah, I was just about to get into my Eleventh Doctor cosplay."
Nico's eyes widened as he remembered something. "Hey, aren't you the guy who sent me that weird selfie from ComicCon?"
Andy smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. It was right after you did that cool Supernatural RP with Percy. I thought you might want to see my Sam cosplay."
Nico nodded. "Yeah… You make a good Sam."
Andy laughed. "If you like my Sam, you should see my Sherlock."
Nico smiled. "You know what, Andy? I like you. I'm gonna call you next time I do something awesome."
Andy later took Nico back inside the cabin to the computer, as he hadn't yet read Oh, Nico either. He read all forty-nine chapters, and then Nico witnessed the strangest reaction he'd received as of yet.
Andrew sighed, then looked over at Nico. "How old are you, kid?" he asked rhetorically. "Thirteen? Sixty? Grow up a bit, okay?" He started to get up from his chair, then saw Nico's shocked expression and whispered, "I like your penguins, though," before leaving.
Nico stared after him for a moment, then called, "Well, now I'm not gonna call you!"
He sighed and recorded Andy's reaction, then started looking around, wondering how he was gonna find the next person on his list.
Again. Creepy. OC. Sensors.
Nico turned around and found himself staring in the face of Verity Anderson, a fourteen-year-old daughter of Hecate who was tall, stick-thin, and pale, and had blue eyes, black hair, and high cheekbones.
Nico jumped backward in surprise, then forced himself to stay calm. He had a job to do.
The next few interviews went somewhat smoothly. Verity's opinion was positive, if not a bit repetitive ("It's amazing, it's awesome, it's one of the best stories ever").
Eventually, Nico was able to move on to the next potential fan, a ten-year-old named Ricky Gonzalez, who had brown hair, green eyes, freckles, and was so scared of Nico and his penguins that when Nico tried to ask him about the fic, he freaked out and expelled a blast of magic that stuck Nico to the wall.
Twenty minutes later, when Nico had been somewhat successfully unstuck, he moved on.
The next person he needed to talk to was a thirteen-year-old girl named Manar Peterson. Manar had black hair that reached a bit past her shoulders, and extremely large dark brown eyes. She looked weak, though she was of average weight for a thirteen-year-old girl, and a bit tall for her age. She also had brown skin and terrible nails, as if she bit them almost constantly. Nico found her in a back room of the cabin, playing with blue magic sparkles. Nico hid in the shadows of her doorway for a moment, watching her. The room had a blue wall, a blue ceiling, and a blue carpet. The floor was littered with ice cream wrappers, pizza boxes, half-empty Tupperwares of lasagna, and a whole bunch of other stuff. On the wall was a huge poster titled "My Plot to Kidnap Quate and Raise Her to Be a Best Friend to Anyone, Then Return Her in Two-Three Years" and another that read "I WANT TO OWN GERALD, DO YOU?".
Nico stared, blinked, stared some more, and then let the shadows fall away from him. "What in Hades is wrong with you?!"
Manar jumped up in surprise, and her magic sparkles disappeared. "Nico!" she exclaimed, glancing nervously at her posters. "What are you doing here…?"
Nico sighed. It had been a long day and he really wasn't in the mood for this. "You're an OC, so I'm not gonna question. You can't have my penguins, that's that, moving on. Now, I need your opinion on the fanfiction Oh, Nico."
Manar thought it was extremely funny, and she loved how innocently stupid Nico was (... angry glare from Nico). She thought it should never end, and that it was one of the greatest fanfics EVER. Nico wrote that down, warned her one more time to stay away from his penguins and their children, then went to find his next victim.
Nico was getting tired, but he would probably be able to get in three more OCs before lunch and then he could take a break.
He soon found the next person on his list, fifteen-year-old Alexandria. She had tan, Indian-looking skin, black hair and green eyes, and Nico felt really awkward talking to her because she swore, like, a lot.
Nico eventually got her to read the fic, to which she then responded, "What the Hades?" except she said the non-demigod version of Hades that Nico's sister had always taught him was inappropriate to say. He recorded the reaction and got away from her as fast as he possibly could, almost running straight into Sarah, a fourteen-year-old daughter of Hecate who turned out to be just who Nico was looking for.
Really, these OCs were starting to scare him.
"Nico, hi!" she exclaimed, grabbing his arms before he ran into her. "Great job on the snowball fight yesterday."
Nico blinked at her. "There was apparently a snowball fight yesterday in your AU. That's kind of awesome. Did I win?"
Sarah frowned. "Um… no… Hazel won."
"Oh," Nico said. "Okay, I'm cool with that, I like her. Anyway, I need you to read a fic."
Twenty minutes later, Nico decided he didn't like Sarah. She'd read the story and burst out laughing, then started showing her siblings "what Nico acts like behind closed doors". He would've kicked her out had he not been in her cabin. Plus, one of the people she was showing the fic to was the next person he needed to talk to.
"Hey, you're Molly, right?" he asked, grabbing the arm of a girl his age.
She turned and raised an eyebrow at him, her green eyes flashing with amusement. She was tall-ish and skinny, with blonde hair swept over one shoulder. She eyed Nico curiously for a moment before replying.
"No, I'm Annabeth," she said sarcastically. "Who did you think?"
Nico cleared his throat awkwardly. "I, uh… just wanted to know what you thought of the fic."
Molly sighed. "At first, I was surprised. I mean, you don't look stupid." Nico couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not, but he decided he'd be offended either way. "But now I just find it hilarious," Molly finished.
Nico nodded. "Great. Thanks." He wrote that down on his list, then made his way to the exit of the cabin.
Once he was outside, he sighed. "Done with the Hecate kids," he muttered to himself. "Nap time."
"Ugh, what is taking him so long?" ChickWithThePurpleGuitar groaned as she tilted her half-empty mug of hot chocolate precariously on its side, her combat boot-clad feet up on the broken ping pong table.
"You requested a lot of fans, my lady," Chiron reminded her cautiously from across the table.
He'd been nervous for the last half an hour, ever since the goddess had once again burst into the Big House, declaring that "she was bored as Hades, her mom had taken her laptop, and homework just wasn't happening," so she was going to hang out there until Nico came back.
Three and a half cups of hot chocolate later, and the goddess had put her guitar away and started complaining.
"Only eighty-nine," the goddess whined. "He should be back by now."
"Is… there anything I can get you to entertain yourself, my lady?" Chiron asked.
She sighed. "Nah… I should go write Percico or something…" The goddess groaned. "Except I can't, cause my mom took my laptop." Chiron quickly pulled her mug away from her before she could throw it.
Before she could decide to be angry, Chiron warned her, "My lady, maybe you should calm down. The readers are going to think you're a brat."
ChickWithThePurpleGuitar planted her feet back on the floor, buried her face in her arms resting on the table, and sighed. "I'm sorry," she said to no one in particular. "I swear I'm not usually like this- if I was, no one would read my Author's Notes. It's just, a lot of IRL stuff is messing me up, not to mention this stupid chapter- eighty-nine OCs, honestly people, do you expect me to be done anytime soon?- and I just broke up with my boyfriend that my best friends didn't like, so this AU is kind of my only place to go crazy. I'm sorry. I'll stop."
All this was mostly directed towards the table, so Chiron only caught a few words of it, but it wasn't like she'd really wanted him to listen.
"Do you think Nico likes me?" the goddess asked Chiron, lifting her head.
Chiron smiled kindly. "I wouldn't know, my lady, but if I were to guess, I'd say he likes you very much."
"I hate ChickWithThePurpleGuitar," Nico announced as he burst into the Poseidon Cabin. "She's evil and annoying, and she made up my life and Percy, since when do you have siblings?"
Nico stared at the twelve or so non-existent children sitting in Percy's cabin. Percy himself was talking to them as if he did so every day, and when Nico questioned it, Percy frowned at him in concern.
"What are you talking about?" the son of Poseidon asked. "These guys have lived here for years."
Nico slowly shook his head. "No… don't tell me… Oh, gods, Percy. You've been corrupted by the AUs too, haven't you?"
Percy raised an eyebrow. "The A- what nows?"
Nico dropped onto Percy's bed with a sigh, ignoring the tens of OCs staring at him.
"Percy," he said, handing his cousin the Fan List. "Are any of your new siblings on my list?"
Percy looked confused and surprised as he flipped through the pages. "Uh… yeah, actually, like most of them."
Nico put his head in his hands. "Great. That means I have to talk to them. You might wanna go, Percy. This could get ugly."
Percy stared at him for a moment, then slowly put the list down on the bed. "Yeaah… I got a date with Annabeth," he said slowly, standing up. "I'll see you later, Nico."
Once Percy was gone, Nico faced the OCs.
"Listen up, guys," he began. "I gotta talk to most of you, but I've got Penguin Pilates in an hour, so let's make this quick, okay? Here's how it's gonna go. Each of you come to me, one at a time, and I'll ask you some questions, possibly make you read a forty-nine chapter thing but hopefully most of you have read it already, so we can get this over with and move on with our lives. Good?" The OCs said nothing. "Good. First up is-"
"Am I on your list?" a girl interrupted, appearing right in front of his face.
Nico yelped and scrambled backwards to get away from the blonde, blue-eyed psycho.
"Wh-who are you?" Nico stammered.
"Alyssa," she replied. "A-l-y-s-s-a. I'm thirteen. Am I on your list?"
Nico checked, glancing up at Alyssa every few seconds to make sure she didn't try something. Finally, he answered, "No, you're not on my list. Go away."
Alyssa looked sad. "Well… can I still read the thing you were gonna show us?"
Nico blinked. "No, you're not on my list… Go away."
Alyssa sighed. "You don't have to do whatever your list means, but can I still read the thing?"
Nico was starting to get really annoyed with this girl. "No, you're not on my list. Go away."
Alyssa finally left the cabin, and Nico rolled his eyes. "Anyway, first up is…" he checked his list, "O…" he paused, looking to make sure he was reading it right. "Omega Banda?"
No one stepped forward, so Nico repeated the name.
"She might be in her room," Alyssa spoke up, reappearing in the doorway. "She doesn't really… people."
Nico raised an eyebrow. "She doesn't people?" he repeated.
"Meaning she's not very social," someone explained. "She keeps to herself, doesn't really speak to anyone."
"It's weird, though," said another girl. "She's also really creative. She loves all types of music, she plays piano, guitar, and drums, she loves to sing, dance, act, draw, and write. It's kind of amazing, really."
Nico blinked. "Gee, thanks, cause I obviously wanted to know that," he said as sarcastically as physically possible. "Where is she?"
The OCs pointed and Nico picked up his list and followed.
He found Omega in a back bedroom, writing in a notebook and humming a song from some obscure musical only four people in Kansas had ever heard of.
Nico knocked on the door, and she looked up. She looked to be about eighteen, uncharacteristically old for a child of the Big Three, unless you're Percy, with long black hair and sea-green eyes, hidden by glasses and bangs that went over her left one. She was wearing a half-orange, half-purple t-shirt that said, "Camp Olympus" (Nico felt kind of stupid but he couldn't help wondering if that was a real thing- it sounded kind of awesome) with black skinny jeans and black high-top Converses. She had three bracelets on, two on her right wrist and one on her left, and she wore a necklace with both a shark tooth and an owl charm on it, and a black sweater.
Nico didn't like her. Her appearance was confusing.
"Can I help you?" Omega asked, self-consciously closing her notebook.
"Have you read the fanfiction Oh, Nico?" Nico asked her. "I need your opinion on it."
"It's FUNNY AS HADES," Omega replied, grinning. "Oh my gods, I pray and hope everyday that a new Oh, Nico chapter will be up."
Nico nodded and wrote that down. "Kay, thanks, bye."
Nico left the room and went back to the main area, where the other children of Poseidon were still waiting for him.
"Hailey Kyle Brown," he called, feeling very official.
A sixteen-year-old girl came forward. She had teal eyes, auburn hair, and was an athletic girl, about 170cm tall (Nico didn't usually measure things in metric terms, but Hailey seemed like someone who deserved it).
"Hi, Nico," she said as she reached him, taking his hand.
Nico took a step back but was unable to escape her grip on his hand. "Um… hi."
"You know, I've always liked you, Nico," Hailey said softly. "You're so loyal… and smart…" She reached up to stroke his cheek. "I've kinda got a thing for loyal, smart guys."
"Yeah, you're creepy," Nico noted. "Can you just tell me what you think of the fanfiction Oh, Nico, and then leave me alone?"
Hailey dropped his hand. "Oh. Right, sure. I liked it but I didn't like it."
Nico blinked. "What the Hades is that supposed to mean?"
Nico sighed. "Okay, awesome, thanks, now leave." He recorded her reaction while she retreated to the back of the cabin. He then called out the next person on his list. "Megan Brennan?"
A thirteen-year-old girl with long black hair with electric blue tips, wearing ripped jeans and a Fall Out Boy t-shirt stepped forward.
"Nice shirt," Nico commented.
She gave a shy smile. "Thanks. I really like pop-punk music."
Nico nodded. "Nice. Me too."
Megan bit her lip nervously. The people around her started giggling, and she angrily shushed them.
Nico decided not to question.
"Anyway," he said, gesturing to a computer positioned on Percy's bed, "I need you to read a thing."
Forty-nine chapters later, "Woah."
Nico frowned. "Is that a good woah, or a bad woah?"
Megan shrugged, and Nico sighed. He recorded her reaction before moving on. "Gabby?"
Gabby was fourteen and looked like a stereotypical Hipster- glasses, scarf, socks with sandals, the works. She read Oh, Nico, then looked up and said, "Nico what the **** man."
Like, she actually said, "asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk."
After that, Nico stepped outside to get some air, and almost ran headfirst into a girl's feet.
The fourteen-year-old Asian girl with long curly black hair finished her cartwheel and stood up straight, proving to be about five feet tall. She grinned. "Hey, Nico! Long time no see!"
Nico raised an eyebrow. "... Apparently I know you…"
She rolled her eyes. "Duh! We were, like, best friends when you first came to camp, remember? Haven't seen you in awhile, of course, since you've been out saving the world."
Nico nodded slowly. "Right, gotcha… and you're…" he glanced down at his list, having the feeling she was on it, "Alica Kanata?"
When she nodded, Nico sighed and pulled her back inside to the computer.
Her reaction was silence. Not even that she didn't say anything, there was a literal, audible, "..." Nico. Didn't. Like it.
Once he was done with Alica, Nico decided he needed a break. He'd been at work for more than a day, gathering fans for a goddess he'd never even met. He was tired, and annoyed, and he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep and forget all about fanfiction, forever.
But the OCs continued to plague him, wherever he went.
When he reached his cabin, he saw a girl his age, give or take a few years, with brown hair that curled about half-way down so that it bounced over her shoulders, and warm brown eyes that seemed to purposefully avoid Nico's gaze, sitting right outside the door. She was wearing white jeans and a lavender sweater, black combat boots on her feet.
And she was playing Mayday Parade's "Oh Well, Oh Well," on a purple guitar.
Nico stopped in front of her and stared until she finished the verse, finding himself unable to speak. Finally, as the last chord rang out, he found his voice. "ChickWithThePurpleGuitar?!"
She looked up at him and smiled softly, not like a goddess or an evil life-making-up monster, but like a really nice person. Nico again found himself speechless, even as thousands of questions raced through his mind- Why did you make up my life? Why are you making me talk to all these terrifying OCs? Who plays a purple guitar anyway?!- and ChickWithThePurpleGuitar just watched him, trying not to grin, and once the silence had gone on long enough that it was starting to get awkward, she spoke.
"So… ChickWithThePurpleGuitar…" Nico began awkwardly once he and the goddess were seated in his cabin. "Are… you and your purple guitar comfortable?"
She was still holding the guitar across her lap like she was planning on playing it, and whenever she wasn't speaking, she'd fiddle with the strings, plucking out sad, quiet notes that Nico found beautifully easy to ignore.
"You know, you can just call me CPG," she told him, silencing the strings. "ChickWithThePurpleGuitar's kind of really long."
Nico nodded. "Yeah, just kinda."
She started plucking again, and Nico recognized the tune as the How I Met Your Mother theme song. "I like your cabin," CPG said without looking up from her guitar. "All the fics say it should be really scary and stuff, but this place feels like home. It suits you."
Nico eyed her suspiciously, not sure of what he thought of the goddess. Finally, he formed a question that he didn't think would offend her. "You know your OCs are really weird, right?"
CPG looked up, her song cutting off halfway through the 17th "ba". "Oh, yeah. That's kind of part of their definition."
"Their AUs scare me," Nico continued.
The goddess chuckled. "Sorry about that. Have you met the ones who think they're your best friend?"
Nico nodded. "A couple of them."
CPG smirked and looked back at the strings of her guitar, fingering the melody to "22" before looking up at him. "Are you going back out soon? To get me more fans?"
Nico shrugged. "Yeah, in a minute."
"Can I come?"
Nico stared at the goddess, unable to believe what he'd heard. CPG stared back at him, the outer ring of her irises starting to turn white. Without her picking at her guitar strings, the silence was horribly loud.
"You want to come?" Nico repeated. "You want to follow me around and talk to weird OCs from weirder AUs, half of which probably want to date me?"
She nodded, grinning. "Yeah, I could visit the OCs with you, explain their AUs so they won't think you're crazy."
Nico blinked. "If you wanted to come, why didn't you just generate your subfandom by yourself?"
CPG's eyes, once again fully brown, looked back down at her guitar, avoiding Nico's gaze. "The fic's about you, not me," she explained, quietly strumming two chords over and over again that Nico was pretty sure were the background music for "A Horse With No Name". "Only reason I'm in it is because it's the fiftieth chapter, kind of a spectacular kind of thing- and don't you dare say anything about chapter thirty-one, it was a prompt, I had no choice but to be meta. Anyway, I just really wanted to be in this chapter, but I got bored of writing about Chiron, so I figured if I hung out with you, I'd be in the story more."
Nico stared at her until she stopped playing and looked up at him. Then, trying his hardest not to sound offensive to the goddess, he asked, "Isn't that really, really narcissistic?"
CPG shrugged. "I made myself a goddess, what did you expect?"
Nico nodded. "Point taken. Well, I was gonna take a nap before I went back to the Poseidon OCs, but it should be significantly less exhausting with you there, so we can just go now."
"Ooh, yay!" CPG jumped up excitedly, her guitar vanishing into thin air. "Let's go!"
"Where'd your purple guitar go?" Nico asked, confused.
CPG looked around in surprise, as if just then realizing her instrument was gone. "Oh. Yeah. It does that. I'd like to say something awesome, like it's in my Duat locker- which isn't actually a locker, but a TARDIS disguised as a 1967 Chevy Impala… I feel like I should have a Sherlock reference in there too, but I can't think of one… Anyway, I actually have no idea where my guitar goes when I don't need it. Hammerspace, probably. Mario's pants…"
She was rambling now, making little to no sense to Nico. He debated snapping his fingers in front of her face but decided against it just as she came to her senses on her own.
"So!" CPG exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "Shall we go?"
Nico sighed, nodded, and led the goddess out of the cabin.
Twenty minutes later, Nico decided he hated people.
The next two people on his list had been twin children of Poseidon named Axel and Axelia (Greek for protector of humanity, as Nico had unwillingly found out) and they liked to talk. About themselves. A lot. And they talked at the same time and it was really creepy.
In the short amount of time they were together, Nico found out that the twins were no older than fifteen but no younger than twelve (because they were just mysterious like that), they had black hair and green eyes (they also seemed to think Nico was blind for some reason, as they felt the need to describe themselves to him), they were maybe 5 feet to 5'3'' tall, thin, wiry, and with clear Native American heritage (except it wasn't clear, because they had to explain it).
Also, plottwist: The OCs couldn't see ChickWithThePurpleGuitar! She just sat in the corner, invisible, smirking as Nico was tortured alone, and moving her fingers around like she was still playing guitar, even without one. It was very distracting.
Eventually, Nico managed to ask the twins about Oh, Nico, and found out that they LOVED IT! (really, the All Caps were completely unnecessary). They then went on to tell Nico everything about their life- how their fatal flaws were determination and stubborn will, how they wouldn't stop to eat or sleep when working on a project (hence the thin stature), how they were sarcastic when in a bad mood, were NOT morning people, knew Morse Code, and were obsessed with corrected terminology (whatever the Hades that meant). They were both scared of snakes, heights, and tight spaces, and their only difference besides their genders was that Axelia was left-handed, and Axel was ambidextrous.
Nico had once been told that just because people were twins didn't mean they were the same person. Evidently, these two did not believe in that theory.
About halfway through the twins' speech, CPG disappeared from the cabin, only to reappear twenty minutes later with a milkshake and Nico's wallet. She handed it back to him silently, her mouth curled in a smirk around her straw. Nico glared at her as he returned his wallet to his pocket, but didn't say anything (after all, the twins couldn't see her, and Nico didn't want to seem that crazy).
Finally, the twins had to leave to go to dinner with their cabin, and Nico was left alone with the goddess.
"I hate you, you know that?" he said to her.
CPG paused mid-sip to frown at him innocently. "What'd I do?"
"You made yourself invisible so I had to suffer through that alone!" Nico angrily reminded her.
"I don't know why they couldn't see me," she admitted thoughtfully, then grinned. "But wasn't it kind of awesome?"
"No, it was not awesome!" Nico exclaimed. "And not only were you invisible, but you left me to go get a milkshake! And you took my wallet!"
"Yeah, I'm really surprised you didn't notice that," she muttered, taking another sip. When Nico only continued to glare at her, she offered him the cup. "Want some?"
"No I don't want some!" Nico snapped. When CPG gripped the cup a little harder and turned away from him, he sighed. "Sorry. Stressful day. Didn't mean to snap at you. Do you forgive me?"
CPG hesitated and for a moment the only sound was the slurping of her milkshake. Then, she turned back to him and once again offered him the cup.
"Thanks," Nico said, grabbing it and taking a sip. The milkshake was yummy and chocolatey, almost worth having his wallet stolen. "Who's next on our list?" he then asked, handing the cup back.
CPG apparently had her fan list memorized because as soon as he asked, she started laughing.
"What?" Nico asked. "What's so funny?"
"This next one's entertaining," CPG explained. "And kind of complicated. She's got two personas because she's been written in two different AUs, but we can't talk to both of them because effort. One of them isn't a demigod and the other one has a name that doesn't fit her appearance and it annoys me like 85% of the time. Which one would you rather talk to?"
"Definitely the one who annoys you," Nico immediately decided.
CPG sighed. "Yeah, probably should've seen that coming. All right, then. Without further ado," she crossed the room to the cabin door, milkshake still in hand, and dramatically prepared to open the door. "Nico di Angelo… I give you… Andromeda Jackson!"
CPG flung open the cabin door, revealing a sixteen-year-old girl with blue-streaked blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing jeans and a green tye-dye t-shirt. She stepped inside the cabin and looked around, almost immediately noticing Nico (CPG annoyingly stayed invisible, drinking her milkshake).
"Is Percy here?" Andromeda asked.
Nico shook his head. "Nah, he's on a date with Annabeth."
Andromeda nodded. "Oh, okay. Our mom just called, I thought he might want to talk to her."
Nico raised an eyebrow and looked to CPG. "Our?"
"I said her name was Jackson," the goddess reminded him. "She's Percy's full sister."
"Uh, yeah, Percy's my full brother," Andromeda said almost at the same time. "I'm An Jackson. You're Nico, right?"
"Percy talks about you a lot," An told him, frowning. "Like… really a lot… Like, even more than he talks about Annabeth. You guys must be really close."
"Uh, yeah, pretty close," Nico said distractedly, glaring at CPG who had her fingers put together in the shape of a triangle and was loudly whispering, "I ship it!"
An turned around to see who he was looking at, and Nico took the opportunity to stick out his tongue at the goddess. She just grinned and winked, sipping her milkshake innocently.
An turned back around and eyed Nico curiously (not at all like she thought he was crazy), then asked, "So… what are you up to?"
"Long story," Nico replied simply. "But I need you to read a thing. You got a computer?"
An nodded slowly and led him over to one of the beds, pulling a green laptop out from under the pillow.
"You sure like green, don't you?" Nico observed.
An laughed as she booted up the computer. "I like green like Percy likes blue," she explained. "Or like you like black."
"Whoa," Nico muttered. "You must really like it then."
An nodded as she handed him the computer. He took it and opened up the fanfiction. As she read, he joined CPG in the corner.
"Question," he said softly so that An couldn't hear him. "Isn't An kind of a redhead name?"
"I know, right?!" CPG exclaimed. "That's what I said!"
Nico smirked and leaned against the wall next to her, both of them watching An read chapter after chapter.
After a while, CPG leaned her head on his shoulder as she sipped her near-empty milkshake. Nico glanced down at her, wondering how she was in any way comfortable, considering she was taller than him, but the goddess seemed content, so he didn't move her.
An looked up when she'd finished the forty-ninth chapter and grinned at him. "Hilarious," she said. "Just hilarious."
"Awesome, thanks," Nico told her. "I'll tell Percy you stopped by."
An left the cabin and Nico looked down at CPG. "I have to record her Oh, Nico opinion," Nico told her. "So… you kind of have to move."
The goddess immediately stood up straight, blushing. "Right. Sorry. Go ahead."
Nico pulled out his list and recorded her reaction, then took the empty milkshake cup CPG handed him and threw it in the trash before asking her where they were going next.
"There's only one more Poseidon kid on your list, but she's probably gonna be hanging with the Athena cabin, so we can just-"
CPG was cut off by the cabin door opening. She glanced at the doorway and immediately whispered, "Hide!", pulling Nico farther into the corner, her eyes wide in fear.
Nico obeyed, wrapping himself in shadows as he watched the person enter, wondering why in Hades CPG wanted to hide from them.
It was a girl who appeared to be twelve or so, with sea-green eyes and untamed hair that was orange like coral. She swayed as she walked, like she was purposefully trying to look wavy, and CPG looked at her with such terror in her eyes that Nico reached for his sword.
"Who is she?" Nico whispered. "Why are you so scared of her?"
"Her name's Hoop," the goddess whispered back, despite the fact that only Nico could hear her. "She's been around for like three hundred years, she's practically a goddess herself. Well, not actually, she's not awesome enough to be a goddess, but she's pretty much immortal!"
"How is that possible?" Nico hissed.
CPG shook her head. "It's a long story."
Nico nodded. "Oh, okay." There was silence for a few minutes as they watched Hoop pull out a book and start reading it, but Nico could feel CPG staring at him. He slowly turned to her. "Would you like to tell me the long story?"
"OMG, yes," she said, grinning excitedly. She then began the story in an overly dramatic voice, "Hoop grew up in a ship that's in a time bubble and in constant storm. The ship's captain, Barend Fokke, a dutchman and a demigod son of Hermes, had reputation of fast letter delivery (too fast for some envious people). He and his crew ended up in a time bubble, trapped by the storm and have been there for some time. Hoop grew up on the ship- only aging when she took a swim, otherwise not. Taking her first steps on a ship during a storm (and really ALL steps until now), she really has sea-legs."
Nico stared for a moment, waiting for CPG to continue, but the goddess seemed to be done. "That's it?" he asked, just to be sure. She nodded. Nico frowned. "Isn't that kind of a lame ending to the dramatic story?"
CPG shrugged. "That's all the info I had."
Nico sighed. "Well, she's not on my list, but should I still talk to her?"
"If you want to," CPG replied. "But, uh, don't tell her I'm here. We met once, and it… ended… badly…"
"Badly how?" Nico dared to ask.
"It's an even longer story that I don't want to tell," CPG replied vaguely. When Nico raised an eyebrow, she rolled her eyes and elaborated, "We had an argument, it wasn't my fault, she threw water, I shot pancakes, it ended in a huge dispute that involved the destruction of Vegas (the one in New Mexico), thirty-two ostriches, and the Dutch government, and we parted ways as neutral parties that secretly wanted to kill each other."
Nico nodded slowly. "Oh… okay… I'm gonna go talk to her now…"
He started to drop the shadows concealing him, but CPG called, "Wait, one more thing," and he turned back to her.
"What?" he asked.
CPG was smirking evilly. "She doesn't speak English. She wasn't exposed to many languages, so she only speaks Dutch and Ancient Greek."
Nico glared. "Well, how am I supposed to talk to her then? I mean, I know a little Ancient Greek, but I'm not exactly conversational."
CPG shifted her weight, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Ugh… I guess I could translate for you…"
Nico raised an eyebrow. "You speak Dutch?"
She shrugged. "No. Well, yes. Not really. But in this AU I do."
Nico decided not to question but instead released his shadows and stepped forward towards the OC. Hoop looked up at him in surprise and exclaimed something in what Nico assumed was Dutch.
"What'd she say?" Nico asked CPG without looking back at her, so as not to give away her existence.
"You don't want to know," the goddess replied.
"Okay…" Nico muttered. "How do I say hello to her?"
CPG was silent for a moment, then told him, "Say, 'Hallo, mijn naam is Nico. Wees niet bang voor mij. Ik wil alleen maar met je praten.'"
This time, Nico did turn to her, his eyes wide. "All that for hello?"
CPG rolled her eyes. "No. It means, 'Hello, my name is Nico. Please don't be afraid of me. I just want to talk to you.'"
"Oh," Nico said. "Yeah, that'd probably be helpful…" He turned back to Hoop and repeated what CPG had told him. "How was that?" he then asked the goddess.
"Painful," CPG replied, grimacing. "Your accent is horrible. But as long as she understands you…"
Hoop evidently did understand him, because she replied, "Hallo, Nico. Ik ben Hoop."
"She said, 'Hello, Nico. I am Hoop,'" CPG translated, "Tell her, 'Ik weet het. Ik heb goede dingen gehoord over jou.' It means, 'I know. I've heard great things about you.'"
"But I haven't heard great things about her," Nico pointed out.
"So? She doesn't know that."
Nico shrugged and repeated the Dutch.
Hoop frowned. "Dus, wat doe je in mijn hut?"
"'So, what are you doing in my cabin?'" CPG translated. "Don't tell her about Oh, Nico; she knows I wrote it. Just say, 'Ik zag je in en wilde alleen maar even voorstellen.'', meaning, 'I saw you come in and just wanted to introduce myself.'"
After Nico had said that, Hoop replied, 'Het is leuk om je eindelijk te ontmoeten. Ik heb veel over je te horen. Niet alle goede dingen… Ik overweeg dan een aantal dingen die je zo kinderachtig doen. Maar voor het grootste deel denk ik dat je een goede jongen bent. Ik ben goed met je afkomst en uit de tijd ding. Eigenlijk wil ik een gunst van u." And CPG. Didn't. Translate.
After a minute or so of awkward silence, Nico turned to the goddess, "Well? What'd she say?!"
CPG hesitated, then sighed and slowly spoke. "She said… 'It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you too. Not all good things… I consider some things you do as childish. But for the most part I think you're a good kid. I'm fine with your parentage and out-of-time thing.'..." CPG paused, but Nico had a feeling she wasn't done quoting yet. He gestured for her to go on, and she sighed. "And then she said… 'Actually, I want a favor from you.'"
Nico frowned. "A favor? What kind of favor? How do I ask her what the favor is?"
CPG shrugged. "I don't know. I don't speak Dutch."
"What?!" Nico exclaimed. "But- but you were just-"
"We should probably go," the goddess interrupted. "People to see, chapters to finish, you know. Lots of OCs left."
Nico sighed. "Okay. Bye, Hoop." He waved to the OC, then took CPG's hand and let her drag him out of the cabin.
"What was that about?" he demanded as they headed towards the Athena cabin. "Why couldn't I ask what the favor was?"
"Cause she wouldn't have answered," CPG replied. "Her creator didn't tell me what the favor was."
"But don't you control her?" Nico asked, confused. "Isn't that how fanfictions work?"
CPG shook her head. "I'm the author, yeah, but I'm only using the info that the creator gave me. The favor she wanted was not included."
Nico nodded. "Oh, okay. So, that's-"
He was cut off when a random girl approached him and pressed her lips against his. "Mmmph!" Nico exclaimed around her mouth, trying and failing to push her off of him.
Finally, she let him go and Nico got a good look at his attacker. She looked to be about fourteen, same age as him, and had caramel blond hair and blue green eyes. She smirked seductively at him as CPG tried to control her laughter.
"Nico," the goddess managed. "This is Rachel Winn. She's your…" a few giggles escaped before she could continue, "Your girlfriend."
Rachel glared at her as CPG fell to the ground laughing.
"What are you laughing at?" she demanded. "What's so funny about me being his girlfriend?"
CPG immediately stopped laughing and sat up to stare at Rachel. "You can see me?"
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Duh. Why are you so-"
Before she could finish, CPG jumped up and grabbed Nico's arm, pulling him to the Athena Cabin.
"She just kissed me!" Nico realized in shock.
CPG rolled her eyes. "I know. You'll get over it. Come on! The OCs can see me! I want to talk to people!"
Looking way more excited than was normal, CPG handed Nico his list and pulled him to the cabin door, talking quickly the whole time. "The next people on your list are best friends," she explained, "so you don't want them together, it'll just get crazy, so I'll talk to one, you talk to the other. Yours is named Em, age twelve, daughter of Poseidon, curly blonde hair, teal/blue hair streak, 4'11'', blue-green eyes, you'll know her when you see her. She's best friends with Emily, she's Percy's second-in-command, got slight anger issues, so be careful; tends to cause water bottle explosions, earthquakes, and floods when angry. She's Amphitrite's favorite, due to there not being many daughters of Poseidon (or so she thinks; I mean, did you see those kids in the cabin? There were like twelve of them). Emily thinks she has a crush on Malcolm (Em claims she doesn't), she's a really good artist, scared of large spiders, and that's about it, have fun, I'll see you later."
With that, CPG disappeared, leaving Nico alone outside the Athena Cabin. With a sigh, he knocked on the door, and the girl who opened it was obviously Em.
"Em?" he still asked, just to make sure.
"What's your opinion of the fanfiction Oh, Nico?" he then asked her.
"It's a really funny story," she replied.
Nico nodded his thanks and wrote that down, then, as Em retreated back into the cabin, sat outside to wait for his goddess's return.
Meanwhile, CPG was confronting Emily, a 5'2", thirteen-year-old daughter of Athena with curly, dark blond hair and blue green/gray eyes. CPG tapped her on the shoulder, excited to finally be seen by the characters she was being forced to write about. Emily turned to her and smiled. "Can I help you?" she asked kindly.
Grinning, CPG replied, "Yes. My name is C-... Catherine… Yeah. Catherine Patricia Glenn. And, I'm doing a survey regarding the fanfiction Oh, Nico. Mind if I ask you a few questions?"
"Um, sure," Emily replied. "I'm-"
"Emily, I know," CPG interrupted. "You're best friends with Em, will be second-in-command of Athena Cabin if Annabeth is gone and Malcolm takes charge. You spend a lot of time helping in the forges (Em suspects you have a crush on a child of Hephaestus, but you don't, it just reminds you of when you would help your dad when you were little), you often argue with Em, and you're scared of only little spiders, big ones aren't that bad."
Emily blinked. "Um… yeah. Wow. How did you know all that?"
"It's kind of a long story," CPG replied vaguely. "But anyway, can I ask your opinion of Oh, Nico?"
"Oh, um, of course," Emily said, thinking for a minute. "Well… Nico sometimes is just… I have no words. Maybe ridiculous, I just can't figure it out. But it really is something where you face palm saying, 'Oh, Nico.' I've done it many times."
"Awesome, thanks," CPG told her, then disappeared and reappeared outside with Nico. Before he could say anything, she took his list and recorded Emily's reaction, then grinned excitedly at the son of Hades and said, "That was fun! Let's do more!"
The next person Nico talked to was a twenty-year-old son of Athena named Danov Runski. He had blond hair and grey eyes, and he looked really, really familiar.
"Heyyy, aren't you Percy's friend?" Nico asked.
"Yeah," Danov replied, grinning. "You're Nico, right?"
Nico nodded. "Yeah. Can I ask you to do something for me?"
Danov shrugged. "I don't see why not."
"Awesome," Nico said. "Read this forty-nine-chapter thing."
While Danov read Oh, Nico, Nico went to find CPG, who was talking to Viridian Silver, a fifteen-year-old, slightly over average height daughter of Athena with longish brown hair thrown in a braid over her shoulder, green eyes, broad dimples, big, almond shaped eyes, and a light furrow-like birthmark on her left cheek.
They were arguing.
"I don't care if you don't like me," CPG was saying as she leaned against her suddenly-existent-again guitar, looking annoyed but also really entertained. "You still have to tell me what you think of the fic."
"You made fun of my name!" Viridian exclaimed.
"It's literally a city from Pokemon," CPG laughed. "You should've expected me to make fun of it!"
"Actually, I'm pretty sure it's spelled differently in Pokemon," Nico spoke up, earning a grin from CPG and a venomous glare from Viridian. Nico frowned at her. "Hey, didn't I see you hanging out with the Apollo Cabin yesterday?"
Viridian sighed. "Yeah, I know. I don't really fit the stereotype for Athena kids, do I? Sometimes I burst out singing random songs of random genres for no apparent reason, which is why I spend so much time with the Apollo kids."
Nico nodded. "Makes sense. Alright, I gotta get back to Mr. Russian over there, who… may or may not actually be Russian… Anyway, Viridian- enjoy the fic- and CPG, I'll see you later." With that, he returned to Danov, who was just finishing up reading Oh, Nico. "What do you think?" Nico asked him.
Danov stared at the computer screen for a moment more, then facepalmed. "That's just plain stupid."
"Hmmph," Nico muttered with a scowl as he wrote that down. "Thanks for your time."
It only took about a second and a half to confirm that CPG was still arguing with Viridian, so Nico sought out the next person on his list, Lilah Maxwell.
Lilah was fifteen with silver-tinged blonde hair and heterochromatic eyes (meaning the right one was silver gray and the left one was blood red)... and yes, Nico learned that word on the Internet. She was petite and of average height, she had a fair complexion, and was one of those people who could be really hyper for like four weeks straight and then spend a month being overly depressed (there was a word for that too, but Nico didn't know what it was. Something to do with polar bears, he was pretty sure).
Lilah read the story, then looked up at him in disappointment and asked, "Nico, why are you so… strange? I respected you."
"Wha- none of that stuff happened!" Nico protested angrily. "Some AU-obsessed goddess made it all up!"
Lilah simply shrugged, so Nico recorded her opinion with a sigh, then went to find said AU-obsessed goddess.
He found CPG waiting outside Viridian's room, looking accomplished but also really annoyed. Her guitar had once again disappeared.
"Viridian finally open up to you?" Nico guessed, smirking.
"Barely," the goddess replied. "She can be really welcoming when she wants to be, but she's also really immature, so it took forever to get her to actually talk to me. Also, she's got this small silver locket that she prizes above everything else she owns, and she freaked out when I asked to see it." CPG shook her head and sighed, "Athena kids."
"But she told you what she thought of the fic?" Nico clarified.
"Oh, yeah," CPG confirmed, suddenly grinning mischieviously. "She said, and I quote, 'HILARIOUS! I never pictured Nico to be this immature before this, but now I literally can't picture him as being anything else'."
Nico glared as he wrote that down. "You're ruining my reputation, you know," he muttered angrily.
CPG laughed. "You don't have a reputation."
"Well, I was working on establishing one."
CPG grinned at him jokingly, then suddenly stood up ramrod straight, her smile disappearing. "Someone's coming!"
Before Nico could ask how she knew that, or why she cared, CPG grabbed his arm and pulled him into a nearby closet.
"What are you-" Nico began, but CPG pressed a hand over his mouth.
"An OC is coming," she whispered. "We have to be quiet."
Nico pulled her hand away. "You have OC alert?" he whispered back. She nodded. "So why haven't we run from them before?"
CPG raised an eyebrow. "Nico," she whispered. "You do realize everything that's happened since I came to Camp Half-Blood is also the story I've been writing for the fiftieth chapter of Oh, Nico, right?"
"What?!" Nico whisper-shouted. "You mean all of this stuff is gonna be on the Internet, for all the world to see?!"
The goddess nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. Anyway, the point is, I can use as many nonsensical plot devices as necessary. Including shoving you in a closet because an OC's coming."
"Who's the OC?" Nico asked, not bothering to lower his voice since CPG wasn't either.
"Name's Daniela G," she told him. "Don't bother looking for her; she's not on your list."
"Why are there OCs not on my list?" Nico wondered aloud.
CPG shrugged. "Cause people read the charrie card wrong. Anyway, you're gonna have to go talk to her, or the creator will get mad at me, so… Anyway, Daniela's fifteen, she's your close friend, met you in an arena while sparring with you (she won with an Athena-like strategy). She's a HUGE bookworm, likes sports, and… Oh yeah. She has a tiny crush on you. But you don't know that," she added quickly.
"Then why did you tell me?" Nico asked, frowning.
The goddess sighed. "Because otherwise, I would've had to, like, insinuate it in her dialogue, and that just takes too much effort."
Nico blinked. "You do realize you're really lazy, right?"
CPG nodded. "Yep, that's how I got here. Now go talk to the OC!"
And with that, the goddess pushed him out of the closet, causing him to stumble, straight into Daniela G.
"Nico!" the girl exclaimed, grabbing his arm to keep him from falling into the wall. As he regained his balance, he got a good look at her- she seemed tomboyish, wearing shorts and a football jersey (The Steelers; Nico approved), and she had grey eyes, wavy brown hair in a ponytail, and square black glasses. "What are you doing?" she asked him.
"A goddess pushed me out of a closet," Nico explained apologetically. "Didn't mean to, uh, run into you like that."
"Oh, i-it's fine," Daniela stammered, blushing slightly.
Nico couldn't help but think that it really wouldn't take much effort to show she had a crush on him through dialogue. I mean, seriously. Come on, CPG.
"Anyway…" Nico said awkwardly. "I'm kind of… adventuring today, so… I'll see you later."
"Yeah, okay," Daniela said, smiling nervously at him. "And, um… maybe we can… get some McDonald's later?"
Nico frowned. "Will you pay for that McDonald's?"
"Y-yeah, of course," she quickly agreed.
Nico nodded. "Great. We'll do that later then. Bye."
He returned to the closet and stepped inside, just to see CPG with her purple guitar raised threateningly over her head, as if she was prepared to crash it over Nico's head.
"What did I do?" he immediately asked.
"Oh, nothing, sorry," CPG said, lowering the guitar to a playable position and nervously fingering the strings. "But, uh… you do know Daniela just asked you out, right?"
Nico blinked. "Seriously?"
"Huh," he muttered. "And I said yes…"
"Yep," CPG agreed. "But don't worry, I'll get you out of it. Now, come on, let's go find the next person on your list. I wanna get out of this cabin, it's too boring."
Before Nico could even fully register what she'd said, CPG, her guitar once again gone, had shoved him out of the closet, again.
There was no one to catch him this time.
"You know, that really hurt," Nico grumbled, rubbing his head where he'd hit it against the wall outside the closet.
"Oh, you're fine," CPG insisted as she led him through the cabin. "You've had worse."
"True," Nico admitted.
CPG hummed in response, seemingly unable to walk in silence, even for a few minutes, then changed the subject. "I'm hungry. I'm thinking we talk to this next OC, and then- skull on the dashboard, there we go!" she suddenly exclaimed, startling Nico. "Sorry," she then almost immediately apologized. "I figured out the Sherlock reference for my Duat locker, been thinking about that all day. Anyway, point is, next OC, and then food. Deal?"
Nico hesitated for a moment, then nodded, smirking. "Deal."
The next OC turned out to be Joyce, a twelve-year-old with dark hair and dark eyes, who read Oh, Nico, exclaimed, "YAYAYAY! You're hilarious, Nico!", and spent the next twenty minutes hugging Nico and not letting go. But eventually, Nico was able to escape the Athena Cabin (temporarily) and joined CPG in an Italian McDonald's (because goddesses had teleportation powers even more efficient than shadow-travel) for free Happy Meals, courtesy of Bob (who, Nico was pained to learn, was apparently also an OC, just a much tamer one).
"This is fun," CPG commented as she poured her sixteenth salt packet over her fries.
Nico took a bite of his cheeseburger and nodded thoughtfully. "You're way too excited about it, though," he pointed out after swallowing.
CPG shrugged. "I guess so," she admitted, then dipped a nugget in ketchup. "I like being able to connect with my characters, though, you know? Like, this? Hanging out with Nico di Angelo in a McDonald's in Italy? Never would've happened if I hadn't offered to help you with your OCs. And if I hadn't, I'd still be sitting with Chiron, bored out of my mind, so… yeah. Glad we did this."
Nico nodded as he sipped his McFlurry, agreeing with her.
Only a few minutes later, CPG had finished her nuggets and fries and quickly chugged the remainder of her milk before standing up to leave.
"We should get going," she told Nico. "Still got lots of OCs to talk to."
Nico sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Okay." He quickly finished his soda, threw away his trash, and shadow-traveled back to the borders of camp. CPG was already there waiting for him.
"I gotta warn you," she began as they started towards the Athena Cabin. "There's another OC not on your list that we might run into. Her name's Ellie, she's six. She thinks you're funny, and she enjoys playing with the walrus penguins. You call her your 'little sidekick' and 'the only one who understands you,' but she looks up to Annabeth more than anyone."
Nico nodded thoughtfully. "Huh. Okay, well, thanks for letting me know. I'm sure it'll be fine, though, I mean, she's just a little-"
Unfortunately, they'd reached the cabin by then, and before Nico could even finish talking, the door burst open and a tiny girl with curly light brown hair and gray eyes ran out and wrapped her limbs around Nico's torso.
Nico did his best not to freak out, but if CPG's barely stifled chuckles were anything to go by, he hadn't exactly succeeded.
"Hey, little sidekick," he greeted the child, glancing smugly at the goddess watching. "How ya been?"
"Good," Ellie told him, grinning. Nico still held her in his arms, something he was completely and 100% not used to, but he had no urge to put her down. "Where's Gerald?" she asked him. "I wanna play with the babies."
"It's the babies' nap time," Nico told her. "You can play with them later, okay?"
"Okay!" Ellie said, smiling cutely up at him.
Nico chuckled and put her down, telling her to go play, and watching fondly as she skipped back inside.
As soon as the door was closed, CPG squealed excitedly. "OMG that was the cutest thing I've ever seen!"
Nico glared at her, trying not to blush. "Shut up," he chided. "Six-year-olds usually hate me, that was really nice."
CPG chuckled and patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, there are other ones. Now, come on, we've only got like two Athena kids left on your list."
Excited about that, Nico followed CPG back into the cabin, where she led him to a separate bedroom near the back.
"The next OC is named Dante," CPG explained, standing a few feet away from the door. There was a strange tone in her voice that made Nico glance at her in concern. She was playing with her hair, staring dreamily at the doorway. "He's fourteen, and he likes music, and he reads a lot and writes, and he's really optimistic and loves otters cause they're kind of extremely adorable, and he's got this ability to copy the voices of other people, which is sometimes weird but also really attractive."
Suddenly, Nico realized what CPG's tone of voice meant. It was the same way Daniela G had talked to him.
"And you like him…" Nico guessed.
CPG snapped her gaze away from Dante's door. "What?! No I don't! What are you talking about?"
Nico nodded, smirking. "Right, you're right, I'll just go talk to him, then, tell him you say hi."
"No, don't!" CPG exclaimed, grabbing Nico before he could enter the rom. "Please, don't tell him I'm here. Dante… doesn't like me. We had some issues a while back, and…" At the sound of Nico snickering, CPG glared at him. "He rarely gets angry, but he's stronger than he looks," she warned. "Don't tell him I'm here."
Nico gave her a mock salute. "Aye aye, Captain."
CPG sighed and let go of his arm. "I'm gonna go talk to the last Athena kid while you talk to Dante, okay?"
Nico nodded and watched as CPG went down the hall before he knocked on the door to Dante's room.
The boy who opened the door had brown hair and grayish brown eyes. He was about as tall as Nico and not really strong looking; handsome if you wanted him to be, but not enough for CPG to have freaked out like she did.
"Are you Dante?" Nico asked, just to be sure.
The boy nodded, smiling kindly. "Yup, but they call me Dan. How can I help you?"
"I wanted to ask you what you thought of the fanfiction Oh, Nico."
A look of hurt and fear crossed Dan's eyes, but only for a moment. "I think it's hilarious," he said without enthusiasm. "I love all of it, specifically the penguins." Nico wrote that down and turned to go, but apparently Dan wasn't done yet. "Although…" he self-consciously looked down at his feet. "I haven't really been reading it recently."
"Why not?" Nico asked innocently.
"See, I know the author," Dan explained. "We were sort of… I mean, you know." Nico didn't know, but he didn't ask either. "Anyway, we had a fight, and now reading her fics is like… well, you know."
Nico nodded slowly. "What happened?" he then asked.
Dan shook his head. "It's a long story, involving a ginger, a violinist, 6/43 of a llama, and Atlantic City. I try not to think about it."
Nico nodded. "Oh. Well, sorry to bring it up, man. Thanks for your time."
Dante went back into the room, and Nico went to find CPG. He found her talking to Samantha, a blonde-haired, gray-eyed twelve-year-old wearing three pairs of sunglasses, four t-shirts, sixteen skirts, and five pairs of flip-flops all on top of each other.
"So what do you think of the fic?" CPG was asking her.
"PURE AWESOMENESS!" Samantha replied, making Nico grin as he wrote it down.
CPG thanked Samantha, took one of her sunglasses and put them on her head, then met Nico outside the door.
"Done with Athena kids," Nico realized happily. "Who should we do next?"
"How about Demeter?" CPG suggested. "There's only, like, four of them."
Nico nodded and the two of them started towards Cabin 4. About halfway there, Nico dared to ask, "So… a ginger and a violinist?"
CPG groaned. "Oh my gods, I hate you."
Nico laughed, knowing that she wasn't really mad. The goddess rolled her eyes at him, then put on the sunglasses she'd taken from the OC. They made her look really awesome (and no, she did not tell him to say that in return for not killing him).
"Who's the first Demeter kid on the list?" Nico asked as they approached the cabin.
"Serenity Blue," CPG replied. "She's fifteen, one of those super weird happy people."
Nico raised an eyebrow. "Super weird happy?"
"In her words, she 'loves lots and hates little'," the goddess explained.
Nico frowned. "Huh… who names their kid Serenity anyway?"
CPG shrugged. "Canadians. Now go talk to her, it'll be fun."
With that, she stepped forward and flung open the cabin door, revealing a short girl, around 5'2", with greenish eyes and brown hair. She was reading a book while exiting the cabin and only looked up when she almost ran into Nico.
"Whoa, sorry!" Serenity exclaimed, closing her book. "I really like to read, sometimes I don't watch where I'm going."
"Oh, it's fine," Nico said awkwardly. "You're Serenity, right?"
The girl nodded, grinning. "Yep. Why?"
"Can I ask your opinion of the fanfiction Oh, Nico?"
"Of course!" Serenity exclaimed, looking way too excited. "It's super funny and just awesome."
Nico nodded and wrote that down. "Thanks, go read your book now."
As soon as Serenity was gone, CPG turned to him. "Okay, is it just me, or did she completely not notice I was here?"
Nico shrugged. "Yeah, seemed a bit distracted, that one. Should we move on?"
CPG nodded and led the way into the Demeter Cabin.
"This next one's a little weird," she warned. "Her name's Keorla. She's like 184 and ⅛, or something weird like that, but she doesn't look it. She also talks all Shakespearean-like, you know, like, uses 'thees, thys, and thous' most often, that sort of thing. Except she doesn't… well… I mean, she doesn't…" the goddess sighed. "You'll see."
Nico found Keorla in a back room, and was so surprised at seeing her that he dropped his list (luckily he'd stapled the pages together) and had to force himself to ignore CPG's snickering as he picked it up.
Keorla had blonde short hair, looked somewhere between eighteen and forty (yes, her appearance was that vague), and wore colonial attire (petticoats, skirts, etc.) except her skirts were all ripped (like, even the ones hanging in the closet; that wasn't okay). Nico and CPG stood awkwardly in the doorway as she read Oh, Nico, and when she finally finished, her reaction was, "Walrus penguin babies? Thy wants one!"
Nico blinked. "That… doesn't even make any sense."
"Told ya," CPG muttered.
Either way, Nico wrote down her reaction, thanked her for her time, and left with CPG to find the next person on the list, a girl named Flora.
Flora was a naive young child (according to CPG, anyway). She had emerald eyes, long straight auburn hair, was tall and willowy, and was apparently "in love with Oh, Nico." Nico was glad that it didn't take long for him to talk to her, because he had a feeling she could get really annoying, really fast.
Next, Nico and CPG talked to Alex Brown, a seventeen-year-old with black hair, blue eyes, and lightly tanned skin. It only took him twenty minutes or so to read the fic, and he seemed to be enjoying it, but once he finished, Nico found out otherwise.
Alex blinked once… then he blinked twice… He slowly nodded his head… said, "Okay,"... and then slowly headed toward the nearest exit.
Nico turned to CPG. "Did that even count as a reaction?"
The goddess nodded, trying not to laugh. "Don't forget to write down the 'dot dot dot's. It makes it much more dramatic."
Nico glared at her, but recorded the reaction anyway. "Who's next?"
"Well…" CPG said awkwardly. "Technically, that's all the Demeter kids we need to talk to, but there are two more OCs not on your list."
"Why are there so many of those?" Nico wondered.
CPG shrugged. "I've decided to stop asking. Why don't you go visit one and I'll visit the other?" she suggested.
"Sounds good," Nico agreed. "Meet you outside after?"
CPG nodded and disappeared in that crazy, goddess way of hers. Nico started walking towards the closest bedroom door, knowing it wouldn't take long to find the OC.
"Oh, and one more thing."
Nico jumped and spun around, yelping in surprise at the sight of CPG, who had just then randomly reappeared.
"The OC you're talking to," CPG told him, as if nothing had happened, "Her name's Fae, and she's a little… well… she's really old, like, she's been around even longer than I have, and I'm immortal."
Nico frowned. "You know… just because you can't die, doesn't mean you were around forever… I mean, fanfiction wasn't, right?"
CPG shrugged. "True. But it's been around since at least the death of Sherlock Holmes, so it counts. Anyway, Fae, really old, kinda scary. She also loves to grow BIG plants- she can make them grow at will. So, uh… you know, get on her bad side and you might end up in a Venus flytrap's jaws… But yeah! Be careful, have fun, see ya!"
"Wait," Nico called, stopping her from disappearing. "Why do I have to talk to the scary plant lady?"
"Cause she scares me," CPG simply replied, then, grinning at him, disappeared.
Nico turned back to Fae's door and sighed. "Gods help me."
CPG appeared outside the room of Lily Rose, a fifteen-year-old daughter of Demeter. She knocked on the door, and a piece of it slid away to reveal hazel eyes mixed with a little gold. "Do you have a dog?"
CPG raised an eyebrow. "Um… no?"
"Good!" The door opened all the way to reveal the owner of the eyes, Lily Rose, who was brunette with a touch of red in her hair, and was wearing a black dress. "Sorry, I'm allergic to dogs, can never be too careful."
CPG nodded slowly. "Right. Smart. Anyway… you're Lily, right?"
The girl nodded. "Yep. What's up?"
CPG sighed and leaned against the wall. "I really have no reason to be here… It's just, you know… Principles." She glanced curiously at Lily. "You know Nico?"
"Di Angelo?" Lily asked. "Yeah, of course."
"What do you think of him?" CPG asked.
Lily shrugged. "You know. He's kind of childish. But also, like… really hot…"
"My thoughts exactly," CPG agreed. "Glad you think so. All right. I'm bored of you now. Bye!"
And with that, the goddess disappeared.
Fae the scary plant lady looked like a funky queen of England. She opened the door and smiled at Nico kindly, more like a grandmother with a lawnmower than a scary plant-growing monster.
"How can I help you, young man?" she asked him.
Nico shifted uncomfortably. "Um… hi, Ms. Fae. I'm Nico…"
"Oh, that little humbugger and I would get along just dandy!" Fae exclaimed.
Nico blinked. "What? No, I'm Nico."
"He's got those cute little penguins," Fae continued, ignoring him. "And that sweet old walrus."
Nico nodded slowly. "Right. Well, thanks. I'm gonna go now."
"All right, dear," Fae said. "Have a nice day, and if you see that Nico boy, tell him to come over for cookies sometime."
"Will do," Nico assured her, then hurried to escape the cabin and find CPG.
"How was your time with Fae?" CPG asked, smirking, as soon as he came outside.
"I don't want to talk about it," Nico replied. "Where are we going next?"
"I'm thinking Hephaestus," CPG said, and they started walking towards Cabin 9.
Nico frowned. "Will Leo be there?"
"Probably," she guessed. "Why? Do you not want him to be?"
Nico shrugged. "I mean, I don't care, but… he's probably going to flirt with you."
CPG seemed to think about that for a moment. "I can live with that," she decided.
They reached the Hephaestus Cabin and stepped inside, where they almost immediately met Nici, an eleven-year-old with brown hair and gray/blue/gold eyes. Nico asked her what she thought of Oh, Nico, and she replied, "I love and so does my friend 'KT'." Nico wrote that down and was about to ask if he could talk to KT too, but CPG gave a subtle shake of her head and pulled him away.
The next person they had to talk to was Vector Hill, a tall fourteen-year-old with dark hair, fair skin, and pimples all over his face, not really a good-looking guy.
"He's a fire user," CPG warned Nico as Vector read the fic, "but he's not really good with the whole 'crafts' thing. He's also sarcastic and a bit socially inept."
"What does that mean?" Nico asked.
"He's not good with people," CPG explained, frowning at Vector. "I'm convinced he's gonna become a super-villain sometime in the near future, but no one will believe me."
Nico carefully took a step back from the son of Hephaestus, and when Vector finished the story and facepalmed, Nico took that as a reaction, wrote it down, and pulled CPG out of there as quickly as he possibly could.
They then ran into Beth, a fourteen-year-old not on his list, who had long brown hair, hazel eyes, and wore a black jacket and purple jeans. Nico wanted to avoid her and finish the Hephaestus kids so he could get as far away from Vector as possible before he ended up burning in a super-villainy fire, but CPG pulled him to a stop, used her goddess powers to make Nico invisible, and- just to spite him- asked Beth what she thought of him.
Beth shrugged. "You know… I like him."
CPG thanked her and made Nico visible again, smirking as she led him towards the next OC.
"Was that really necessary?" Nico demanded. "You scare me with your supervillain stories, and then you won't even let me escape his lair?!"
CPG laughed. "Dude, calm. If a son of Hephaestus randomly turns evil and tries to kill everyone, I promise I'll protect you."
Nico nodded. "Oh. Okay. Thanks."
CPG rolled her eyes. "No problem, Nico. Let's go talk to our last Hephaestus kid, okay?"
"And Leo," Nico reminded her.
She raised an eyebrow at him. "Huh?"
"Our last Hephaestus kid, and Leo," Nico repeated.
CPG stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out what the Hades he was talking about. Then, she sighed. "The fans are gonna make me talk to Leo, aren't they?" she realized.
Nico nodded. "Knowing the fans, probably."
Again, the goddess sighed. "Fine," she muttered. "Let's talk to our last kid, and then I'll find Leo."
"All right, good plan," Nico agreed. "Who's next?"
"Chiera Misaki," CPG told him. "She was adopted by a Chinese/Japanese family when her father abandoned her and her mother died from grief. She loves to make stuff like any Hephaestus child, but she makes different things than her fellow cabinmates. She likes to use the molten fire to build things, letting them cool before she hangs them all around the cabin. Chiera's original mother died when Hephaestus left her, and Chiera was put up for adoption. When her Japanese family adopted her, they had no idea she was a demigod. They moved to Connecticut- which she calls the Blessed Motherland…"
"Why does she call it that?" Nico interrupted.
CPG paused before answering. "It's a reference that only, like, four people get. Don't try too hard thinking about it. Anyway, moved to Connecticut when Chiera was five, and she's been defensive of her state ever since, sometimes shouting, 'Don't diss the Blessed Motherland!' in other campers' faces. She's liked over all (even the Aphrodite girls like her) and often finds herself staying up late singing with the Apollo Cabin in the strawberry fields."
Nico nodded slowly. "Detailed," he commented.
CPG shrugged. "Yeah, her creator's a special snowflake. Anyway, why don't I talk to Chiera, to save time, and you go find Leo, okay?"
Nico nodded, saluted sarcastically, and shadow-traveled away.
Chiera was fifteen, had long dark brown hair and hazel eyes, and when CPG asked her opinion of Oh, Nico, she replied, "OH, NICO IS SO FUNNY! I would love to meet that kid someday."
CPG almost felt bad and brought Nico back, but then she remembered that she really didn't care, so she thanked Chiera and went to find Nico.
It took about a second and a half to convince Leo to talk to CPG, so Nico waited outside with him until the goddess joined them.
"So this is the famous ChickWithThePurpleGuitar," Leo said as soon as she exited the cabin.
CPG smirked at him, but said nothing until she'd written Chiera's reaction on Nico's list. Then she turned to face the son of Hephaestus.
"Valdez," she greeted him coldly, and Nico had the strangest feeling they'd met before… "I assume Nico told you why I'm here?"
Leo laughed. "Oh, he told me all right. He told me about your precious little subfandom, and let me tell you, CPG- you don't deserve it."
They were glaring at each other now, and Nico glanced back and forth between the two of them before asking, "What's… going on?"
"Nico, you've actually read Oh, Nico, right?" CPG clarified.
Nico frowned at her. "Uh, yeah. Why?"
"Do you remember the chapter where you and Leo became best friends and had a sleepover?" she then asked.
Nico glared at her. "I do. It wasn't my favorite."
"It wasn't anybody's favorite," CPG assured him. "But Leo, especially, was extremely offended by it. He's hated me ever since."
"Wait," Leo said, staring at her incredulously. "That's what you think this is all about?!"
CPG raised an eyebrow. "It's not?"
"No!" Leo exclaimed.
"Then why don't you like me?" the goddess asked.
Leo rolled his eyes as if the answer were obvious. "You have thirty-seven fictional boyfriends, and I'm not one of them."
CPG blinked, temporarily shocked into silence. "That's why you hate me?" she exclaimed. "Leo, you're too happy to be my fictional boyfriend. I've kinda got this whole emo guy thing going on."
Leo stared at her like she was crazy. "Jack Frost is on your list," he reminded her.
"Jack Frost is Chris Pine, therefore he's perfect," CPG countered.
"You dated Dante!" Leo shot back.
"He could impersonate emo guys," CPG pointed out, "and Jack Frost. It was, like, extremely hot."
"Okay, am I the only one who doesn't know about this apparent relationship you had with a random OC?" Nico spoke up.
"Yes," CPG snapped. "And you never will know. You already know too much." She turned back to Leo. "Look, Valdez, I guess I can make you number thirty-eight, if it'll make you happy."
Leo nodded. "It will."
"But I still have to finish the arc with you and Nico being best friends," she warned him.
Leo shrugged. "Okay, deal."
"I won't make it too shippy," CPG promised. "Ah, who am I kidding? It'll totally be shippy. Deathfire forever. Anyway, Nico, we gotta go. Bye Leo."
And with that, the goddess grabbed Nico's hand and dragged him away.
"I'm thinking Apollo next," CPG told him, leading him towards Cabin 7. "There's, like, ten of them, so how about we each take five?"
Nico frowned at her. "You know that won't make this go any faster, right? You still have to write all ten scenes."
CPG sighed. "Yeah, I know. But a writer can dream, can't she?"
A few minutes later, CPG met up with Hailey, a sixteen-year-old daughter of Apollo who was average height; had tan skin like the crayon color, light brown eyes, brown hair up to her shoulders, and freckles; and who loved soccer, made evident by the mesh uniform she was wearing.
When CPG asked for her opinion of Oh, Nico, Hailey (who apparently recognized her as the author) smiled and said, "It makes my day when you update it."
CPG wrote that down, smiling to herself.
Nico, meanwhile, was talking to a twenty-seven-year-old man named Casper George Knutson (if Nico weren't the son of Hades, he'd probably think Casper was a ghost). He was 6'3'', 150 lbs, had blond hair and blue eyes, and after he read Oh, Nico, he stared, slowly backed away, and then took off running to find a straitjacket. Nico sighed and wrote that down, calmly deciding he was too tired to even try to be offended.
CPG next talked to Elizabeth Fiore, a 158cm tall, very slender fifteen-year-old with long dark black hair that reached to her mid-back, sapphire blue eyes, and very pale skin.
Elizabeth was really outgoing and very blunt. She was very random and very ADHD. When she ate and drank a lot of sweet stuff, she went running around cabins screaming. She loved stuffed toys and hated it when people messed with them and made fun of her for having them. She loved singing and dancing, and was very smart and very scary when angry.
CPG asked Elizabeth what she thought of Oh, Nico, and Elizabeth replied, "I really love Oh, Nico, it's really awesome and so funny."
"Awesome, thanks," CPG said, writing that down. "See ya, then."
As she was moving towards her next OC, CPG ran into Ember, a short girl with reddish blond hair and crystal blue eyes, who (according to CPG's OC database) was musical, saucy and sarcastic, and had temperament issues (CPG was starting to see a pattern…)
Since Ember was not on Nico's list, CPG simply noted her existence, and moved on.
Nico next talked to Akari Reed, a sixteen-year-old with black hair, blue eyes, and tan skin, who was "first shocked" by Oh, Nico, but then "eventually grew to like it".
Nico wrote that down, then immediately moved on to Nya, a thirteen-year-old African American girl with shoulder-length black hair in cornrows and dark brown eyes. Once she'd read Oh, Nico, her reaction was, in her words, "...what."
On his way to finding the next OC, Nico met up with CPG, who had apparently gotten bored and was taking a break.
"Nico, I don't like being alone," she complained. "Can we work together again?"
Nico sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. Who's next?"
They started walking through the cabin. "Luna Everseen," CPG answered. "Possibly based on a mixture of Luna Lovegood and Katniss Everdeen, but she looks like Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls, except with hazel eyes."
"That's weird," Nico commented.
"Yeah, pretty much," CPG agreed. "But don't tell her that, she's got anger issues."
"Is it just me or do a lot of OCs have anger issues?" Nico wondered.
CPG shrugged. "Yeah, I choose not to question it."
They found Luna, who read Oh, Nico, and said, "Ohhhhhhhh, Nico!"
"I'm surprised we haven't gotten more of those…" CPG commented.
The next person they talked to was a girl with brown hair with purple tips, who told them to call her "Julie or Leigh" and, without hesitation, proclaimed that she was crazier than Nico and Nico was, in fact, "so sane." She reminded Nico of a sassy nine-year-old he'd met in China once, but CPG insisted that he and Julie/Leigh were the same age.
Next, they met with a seventeen-year-old named CJ, short for Christopher Joseph Radely. He was tall (about sixteen feet) with tan skin, blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. He told Nico and CPG that he liked Gerald and the fifteen and a half walrus penguin babies (lots of people did, Nico was very proud), but when CPG asked what he thought of Oh, Nico, he explained that he wanted to be the one who "cured" Nico of his crazy.
This statement led to a long, loud argument about whether Nico's actions in Oh, Nico (which, Nico pointed out, were fictional events that CPG made up, and were not actually stuff that Nico would do… probably) counted as "craziness."
Eventually, CPG broke up the fight by pointing out that Nico and CJ were both fictional characters, and if anything, she should be duking it out with CJ's creator (not that she actually cared enough to do so).
She then dragged Nico away from the Apollo Cabin, declaring he needed some time to "cool off."
Six and a half minutes later…
"I am not amused," Nico announced, glaring at CPG, who was trying hard not to laugh. "I'm not kidding. This is not amusing."
"It's a little amusing," CPG tried to convince him. "I mean, come on. You're a little bit amused."
Nico shook his head, glaring up at the Elsa-style ice castle reaching up to the Long Island skyline in front of him. "You told me to 'cool off,' and brought me to my penguins' Igloo… Not funny."
"It's pretty funny," CPG said again, giggling.
Nico sighed. "Lemme guess. We're only here because the fans wanted the penguins to show up, right?"
CPG immediately sobered up, and put a hand to her heart. "Aw, Nico! You know me so well!"
Nico rolled his eyes and led the way into the Igloo, CPG laughing as she followed him.
Despite its exterior, the Igloo was nothing like the dramatic ice castle from Frozen. Right inside the large ice doors was a comfortable living room, complete with three adjoining sofas arranged in a "U" shape, large assorted bean bags, and a huge flat screen TV mounted on the wall. An ice spiral staircase led to the second, third, fourth, and fifth floors, where Nico knew there to be personalized bedrooms for thirteen penguins, a walrus, and fifteen and a half walrus-penguin babies.
"Gods, this place is sweet," CPG breathed, staring in amazement at her surroundings.
Nico smirked. "Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Make yourself at home." The son of Hades tossed his OC list onto one of the sofas and plopped into a beanbag. CPG wasn't far behind, draping herself dramatically over the middle couch.
"Where is everybody?" the goddess asked, looking around.
"I don't know," Nico admitted. "The babies are asleep, but usually the penguins and Quatherine are down here watching Robin Sparkles right about now."
"Huh," CPG muttered. "Think they'll come down soon?"
"Probably," Nico replied, absentmindedly grabbing the sardine-shaped remote and turning on the TV.
Fourteen or so hours later…
"Okay, we watched all seven X-Men movies, and still no penguins," CPG complained. "Where the heck are they?"
Nico shook his head. "No idea… Wanna watch the Avengers movies next?"
"Only if we start with Captain America."
"We were upstairs the whole time," Gerald explained apologetically to them, roughly eighteen hours later. "You could've just called us."
"We expected you to come down!" Nico countered, glaring at his favorite penguin. "What was so exciting upstairs that kept you up there for so long?!"
Gerald shifted awkwardly. "Well… you see, Richard Spaghetti, Jr. found this cool thing on the Internet…"
The penguin took a few minutes to explain everything. Once he was done, CPG stared at him in annoyance and disbelief.
"We just spent thirty-two hours watching Marvel movies," she told him. "If I weren't a goddess, and a fictional character at the moment, I'd be really sleepy right now. And the whole time, you were upstairs, teaching your walrus-penguin children how to play Dungeons and Dragons?!"
Gerald shrugged. "Once we figured it out ourselves, yeah."
CPG sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Penguins. Why did I ever create you?" she asked no one in particular.
Nico frowned, looking back and forth between CPG and the penguin. Then, he raised a hand. "I have a question."
CPG looked over at him. "Yeah?"
"How come Percy can't understand Gerald when he talks, but you can?" he asked.
CPG rolled her eyes. "Because I invented him," she explained. "Also, I'm awesome."
Nico nodded. "Right, okay. Good point, carry on."
CPG turned back to Gerald. "Listen, penguin, despite the fact that I now understand my friends' X-Men references, and that I can finally dislike the Hulk movies for a reason, and that I currently have over thirty-five Captain America fics planned… Anyway, not the point, I'm still mad at you, so you're getting punished. We have two Apollo kids left to talk to. You have to come with us."
Gerald shrugged. "Okay. What are we talking to them about?"
CPG was already halfway out the door, so she had to call over her shoulder to answer his question. "Nico will explain on the way."
"Nice penguin," Andrew said when he opened the door.
Nico smiled, patting Gerald on the shoulder. "Thanks," he told the tall, black-haired, stereotypically emo seventeen-year-old. "I wanted to know your opinion of the fanfiction Oh, Nico?"
Andrew stared at him for a moment, then smirked. "Ha ha ha ha… No." He then retreated back into the cabin, closing the door behind him.
Nico glanced at CPG, his pen poised over the OC list. "That counts, right?" he asked.
CPG was glaring at the door. "Unfortunately."
Next, they talked to Molly, a fifteen-year-old daughter of Apollo who had what CPG liked to call a "paragraph backstory" because it was long and dramatic and took multiple paragraphs to write out grammatically.
Molly had long, reddish brown curly hair, greenish hazel eyes, and was 5'2'' and of average weight. According to CPG, she loved music, played the flute, and arrived at camp by traveling on her white and brown/orange spotted pegasus Bumper (who she saved on the way), after getting kicked out of her house by her stepdad and mom for being a demigod and always "messing up." Her forte was music, music, and music! Depending on the song or how she sang it, she could put her enemies under a musical spell just by singing.
Molly also enjoyed archery and her main weapon was a golden bow that she got for her birthday from her dad. She was also very kind and funny, and people often mistook her for a daughter of Hermes, because she always teamed up with them on pranks. She would help anyone who needed help and was great at giving advice to people going through hard times.
See? Multiple paragraphs.
"I love Oh, Nico!" she exclaimed when CPG asked for her opinion. "Best story ever! My greatest wish is to be Nico and Gerald's best friend!"
"That's not weird," Nico said slowly, taking a step back.
"Nope, not weird at all," Gerald agreed, waddling backwards.
"Ooh, you guys are so cute!" Molly squealed, then high-fived both Nico and Gerald, laughing along with them (although Nico's and Gerald's laughs were slightly scared more than anything).
"Okay, thanks, bye," CPG said, closing the door.
"OCs are weird," Gerald commented.
CPG shrugged. "Yeah, we kind of established that. It's not just these guys, either, it's all OCs. I think it's in their definition."
Nico raised a hand, realizing something.
"Yes, Nico?" the goddess asked.
"Doesn't Gerald count as an OC?"
CPG laughed. "Well, yeah. But he's weird too. He's a talking penguin."
"And aren't you technically an OC?" Nico continued.
CPG shrugged. "Technically. But of course I'm weird, I'm hanging out with you guys."
"Well, what's your other option?" Gerald wondered.
CPG sighed. "Summer homework, so… yeah. Here I am. Anyway, we should get going. We've got the Hermes kids next, and they're always difficult." She turned to the penguin. "Gerald, you can go home, if you want. I mean, like, I have no more reason for you to be here."
Gerald nodded. "Yeah, okay. I think I'm gonna go watch Frozen with my wife. See you guys later."
Gerald started back towards the Igloo, and CPG turned back to Nico, holding out a hand towards Cabin 11. "Shall we?"
Nico nodded. "We shall." They started walking towards the Hermes Cabin. About halfway there, Nico asked, "So who's next?"
"Makenzie Hayden," CPG told him. "She's like seven, and she's got this streak in her hair from a prank gone wrong, don't ask about it, she gets testy. She has a sense of humor, she's witty for being only seven, and she likes to prank people. But she feels like she has to prove to everyone else that she's not a baby, since people treat her like one. So, you know… don't treat her like one. It ends badly."
Nico raised an eyebrow. "Did you ever…?"
CPG sighed. "Let's just say I don't look good as a blonde."
"Good to know," Nico muttered.
"In fact…" CPG stopped a few feet from the cabin and turned to Nico. "I don't think I can trust you to… not be you… I should be okay, since Makenzie won't remember me- long story, goddess powers are awesome- but maybe you should… you know. Stay back here. Let me talk to her."
Nico shrugged. "Yeah, okay. Whatever."
CPG nodded in satisfaction and stepped forward to knock on the cabin door.
The little girl who opened the door was short and brunette, with red streaks in her hair, and blue eyes. She was smiling when the first appeared in the doorway, but her jovial expression soon turned to one of surprise when she saw CPG. "Aren't you… ChickWithThePurpleGuitar?" she asked.
CPG frowned, glanced at Nico in confusion, and then looked back to Makenzie. "Yes… How'd you know?"
"Travis and Connor have been talking about you all day," Makenzie explained. "They'll probably wanna see you…" Makenzie turned her head as if to call back into the cabin for the Stolls, but CPG hastily reached forward to stop her.
"I'll make sure to say hi to them later," the goddess assured her. "But, uh, I actually need to talk to you, real quick."
Makenzie turned back to her and raised an eyebrow. "Me?"
"Yeah," CPG said. "Have you read my fic Oh, Nico?"
Makenzie grinned. "Of course! The Stolls showed it to all of us."
"And what'd you think?" CPG asked, snapping at Nico to get his list ready.
"I love all of your chapters!" Makenzie told them as Nico transcribed. "And they are hilarious and awesome!"
CPG grinned. "Thanks, I'm so glad you like it. Can we come in? I need to talk to some of your siblings too."
Makenzie let them in the cabin, and CPG and Nico started off in search of their next victim.
"Who's next?" Nico asked once they paused about halfway into the cabin.
"Kimberly Wolstenholme," CPG told him.
"Huh," Nico muttered. "Sounds interesting."
"Yeah, she is," CPG agreed. "She's kinda klepto, being a daughter of Hermes and all, and she's also ADHD, obviously, and OCD, and she's got anger management issues- like most OCs, apparently- and so, yeah, basically she's just got a lot of stuff going on that you don't want to get involved with. She's addicted to Pinterest and soccer and books, she's obsessed with anything that sparkles and/or has lace in it. She listens to country music and Pink and Karmin along with whatever plays on the radio. Also, she's from Jersey, and kind of protective about it. She often reminds people that she's in accelerated classes and that real Jersey people don't actually talk like the people from Jersey Shore."
Nico nodded, filing away this information. "Is that a paragraph backstory too?"
"Nah, that's just a self-insert," CPG told him. "Now, let's go talk to her so we can move on and get out of her before the Stolls realize I'm here."
"Why?" Nico asked. "You don't want to talk to them?"
CPG shrugged. "It's complicated."
Nico accepted that as an answer, and they moved on.
Kimberly was fifteen and had long brown hair with multicolored tips and highlights (ombré, CPG called it). She was pale and shortish, like 5'3'', with green eyes and long eyelashes. She was muscular (from sports, Nico assumed), almost like Clarisse, except less scary. She was wearing jeans and leggings with a V-neck sweater, and black combat boots. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she had a bunch of makeup on that neither Nico nor CPG could identify.
"Hey, you're ChickWithThePurpleGuitar, right?" Kimberly asked when she saw them. Her Jersey accent was much more subtle than Nico had expected, and he honestly was ashamed that he could detect it at all. He'd spent way more time in New Jersey than he was proud of.
CPG grinned, obviously loving the recognition she was getting from the Hermes kids. "Yep! I wanted to know what you thought of Oh, Nico?"
"Oh, I love this story," Kimberly replied. "It's super OOC but because you're such a good author that's why it's so funny."
As Nico wrote that down, the goddess's grin widened. "Aww, thanks! Bye!"
Kimberly waved goodbye as CPG dragged Nico towards their next destination, already explaining the next OC as they walked.
"Her name's Semoka Akasaka," CPG told him as she led him to a separate bedroom further back into the cabin. "She's fifteen, and her dad's Hermes but people often mistake her for a daughter of Hades cause her eyes are black and people are racist like that. Oh! Also," the goddess stopped just short of knocking on the door and turned to face Nico. "Don't be insulted if at first she's disappointed to see you. You and Leo are her favorite major characters, but Will Solace is her favorite minor character, and she's kinda obsessed with him. Thinks every person at her door is him. Anyway! So."
With that, CPG knocked on the door.
Semoka, a girl with messy shoulder-length brown hair and eyes so dark they looked black, opened the door. She had slightly tan skin, rosy cheeks, and light freckles across her skin, and she was 5'1'' and, at Nico's estimate, 132 pounds. She was smiling at first, but as soon as she saw Nico and CPG, her smile faded.
"You're not Will Solace," she said sadly.
CPG shot Nico a look as if to say, See?, then turned back to Semoka. "Um, no. I'm ChickWithThePurpleGuitar, and this is-"
Suddenly, Semoka laughed loudly and ran loudly to hug Nico. "Oh, Nico!" she exclaimed. "You're a crazy, messed up, Doctor Who walrus-penguin Leo Valdez-lover, and you should totally be my BFFL!"
CPG shrugged. "I'm gonna count that. Let's go!"
Nico struggled to simultaneously write that down and disentangle himself from Semoka's embrace, but eventually he was able to follow CPG to their next location.
"Next is Chris Dominick," CPG told him, and Nico narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her as her voice- not for the first time- took on a dreamy tone. "He's tall, and his eyes are golden and really romantic, and they turn cold and hard when he's angry but that hardly ever happens, plus he loves a good prank, even at his own expense, and his eye for detail, gods-"
"Okay, you have a problem!" Nico interrupted.
CPG frowned at him, offended. 'What do you mean?"
"You've had a thing for two OCs so far," Nico reminded her, "even after we've established multiple times that OCs are weird. You dated a ginger and a violinist at the same time. According to Leo, you have thirty-seven fictional boyfriends- that's not normal. In fact, I'm pretty sure it counts as adultery."
CPG was staring at him, in hurt and disbelief, and there were tears in her eyes as the irises started to turn white. "You don't know anything," she whispered, then- in a godly flash of light- disappeared.
"Oops," Nico muttered after a few seconds of silence. "That probably wasn't the best idea…"
Nico waited a few minutes, just to make sure CPG wasn't going to murder him. When he didn't immediately die, he decided the best course of action was to continue talking to OCs and give CPG some time to calm down before he went to apologize to her.
When Chris opened the door, Nico confirmed that the brown-haired sixteen-year-old was indeed tall, and "romantically golden" was actually a perfect way to describe his eyes, but Nico still didn't get what CPG had freaked out about. Not that that made him feel any better…
Not knowing whether Chris and CPG actually knew each other or not, Nico cautiously asked, "Have you heard of the fanfiction Oh, Nico?" and stood a foot or so away from the door, just in case.
Chris burst out laughing hysterically. Nico found himself glaring at him as he wrote that down. He wasn't sure why.
Next on Nico's list was a girl named Emily Pheef, but without CPG's goddess powers, Nico had no way of finding her, so he just went up to some random Hermes kids and asked about her.
From doing so, Nico found out that Emily was classed as emo/goth; she loved to play pranks on everyone but nobody knew it was her because she was a NINJA (their words, not his); she annoyed people easily; she used a facade- acted all quiet and sat in the corner reading or doing archery, but really she was the one planning to humiliate them that night; and she ate orange chocolate constantly- always had it on her- and loved orange hot chocolate with extra cream and chocolate on top- always going to the Big House to make one.
All in all, pretty useless information, but eventually Nico was directed to Emily's room, where he found her on her bed, eating orange chocolate.
Emily was fifteen, and did not look like a normal Hermes kid. She had long dark hair, dark eyes and pale skin.
"Can I help you?" she asked when she saw Nico standing there.
"Yeah, I wanted to ask your opinion of the fanfiction Oh, Nico," Nico explained.
Emily grinned. "Hilarious! Love it! I go back to it over and over again! No joke!"
Nico wrote that down, thanked Emily, and turned to go, but was stopped from exiting the room by someone entering.
It was a girl of medium height, with dark skin, black hair, and large brown eyes. "Um… I'm here to see Emily…" she said awkwardly, with a lisp that sort of made her sound like a child.
"Oh, hey, Celia!" Emily called from behind Nico. "Come on in!"
Celia was not on Nico's list, so he slipped past her and out of the room.
Even though he'd only talked to two more people, finding Emily had taken awhile, and so it had been almost an hour since CPG had dramatically disappeared. Though Nico was afraid to do so, it was time to find her and apologize.
Luckily, she wasn't hard to find.
When Nico approached his cabin, CPG was sitting outside, just as she'd been when they'd first met. She was playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood on her purple guitar.
"Hey," Nico said carefully once she finished.
CPG fingered the strings of her guitar nervously without looking up at him. "Hey."
"I talked to a couple more OCs," Nico told her.
CPG nodded. "That's good."
Nico shifted uncomfortably. "I, uh… I figured you might need some time to… you know…"
"Probably smart," CPG agreed.
"But I think it's been long enough," Nico continued. "And so, I came back here to… to apologize, and you know… make sure you were okay. So… I'm really sorry. Your personal life is none of my business, and I shouldn't have tried to tell you how to live your life. I'm sorry."
CPG played a few hesitant chords before finally meeting Nico's gaze. Her eyes were red from crying, but no longer had any trace of scary godly white. "Thanks," she said, "for apologizing. I… I didn't mean to freak out and disappear on you. It's just… well, you should know…. the fictional boyfriends aren't really my boyfriends. They're just fictional characters I think are attractive. You're one of them! And the OCs… I mean, I barely know Chris, we've never actually talked, I just think he's hot. Which is okay, trust me. I mean, you're right, I probably shouldn't be so dramatic about it, but that's just who I am. And as for Dante… it's complicated, okay? But I promise, I swear, I never cheated on anyone. Okay?"
Nico nodded. "Okay. So… we're good?"
CPG's guitar disappeared and she stood up. "We're good. Shall we continue our daring escapade?"
"I don't know, I'm kinda hungry," Nico said. "Can we, like, get a milkshake or something first?"
"Nico," CPG said, staring at him in shock. "Why would you even ask that? We can always get a milkshake!"
Nico grinned, grabbed CPG's hand, and shadow-traveled away.
An hour and a half later, because CPG had a problem with McDonald's milkshakes and Coldstone didn't open until noon, they were back at the Hermes Cabin, ready to continue their quest.
The girl who opened the door, according to CPG, was an unclaimed demigod named Carinna Owen. She was fourteen and had curly black hair and green eyes, and as soon as she saw Nico and CPG, she started randomly, loudly, laughing evilly.
Nico stared at her for a moment, then sipped his milkshake, deciding not to question.
"What's your opinion of Oh, Nico?" CPG asked her.
This just prompted more, slightly less evil, laughing. Nico wrote that down, and they moved on.
On their way to the next OC, Nico saw someone he recognized- a thirteen-year-old girl with long black hair with electric blue tips, wearing ripped jeans and a Fall Out Boy t-shirt.
"Hey, I know her!" Nico exclaimed, pointing.
"No you don't," CPG assured her, dragging him away.
"No, but that's Megan Brennan!" Nico insisted. "From the Poseidon Cabin! What's she doing here?"
"There's two of her," CPG admitted.
"Yeah, her creator wanted her to be a daughter of Poseidon, or if it couldn't be Big Three, then Hermes. I was too lazy to pick one, so I just put her in both cabins."
Nico stared at the goddess. "That makes absolutely no sense."
CPG rolled her eyes. "I know, that's why we're ignoring her, now let's go."
CPG continued to drag Nico away, but once again the sight of an OC made him stop. "Wait, this guy's on my list!"
CPG frowned. "What guy?"
"This guy!" Nico pointed at the guy in front of him, a tall fifteen-year-old of medium muscularity, with brown skin, black hair, and coal black eyes.
CPG raised an eyebrow. "You see a guy there…"
"Yes," Nico said, confused. "You don't?"
CPG's eyes widened in sudden realization. "You must be Sanjeev!" she said, pointing in the general direction of the boy.
"Yeah, that's me," he said sadly.
Nico frowned. "I don't understand…"
"Nico, this is Sanjeev Gupta," CPG explained. "He's… well… only about 40% of people can see him."
"Why?" Nico asked.
"He's about as real as Santa Claus."
Nico stared at the goddess in horror. "You don't believe in Santa Claus?!"
"No, no, I do," CPG assured him. "Just… not for the purpose of this scene. It's a plot device."
"Oh, okay," Nico said. "Well, hi, Sanjeev, nice to meet you. I believe in you."
"Thanks," Sanjeev said, not sounding very thankful.
"What's your opinion of Oh, Nico?" Nico then asked him.
"It's exactly the kind of fanfic I don't like and yet I can't stop reading it."
Nico nodded and wrote that down.
"What'd he say?" CPG asked. Nico showed her the list, and she nodded in satisfaction. "That's awesome. Thanks, Sanjeev! Sorry I don't believe in you! Adios!"
Next, they talked to an eleven-year-old named Sauna (pronounced Se-ah-na) who, according to CPG, had the "evil mind of a teen." Sauna had dark hair, dark eyes, and fair skin, and when CPG asked her what she thought of Oh, Nico, Sauna replied, "LOVED IT. Gonna tell my bros Travis and Connor to go take lessons from CHICKWITHTHEPURPLEGUITAR for absolute random humor."
CPG was grinning a little too hard when they moved on.
The last two Hermes kids they had to talk to were twelve-year-old twins named Aria and Penny. Apparently they'd run away at age six and found camp at age ten, they were best friends with the Stolls, and they both loved pranks. They also both had greenish-blue eyes, but that was where their similarities ended.
Aria had dirty blonde hair and pale skin (though tanner than Nico's), while Penny had brown hair and tan skin. Aria hated beauty, and they called each other Ara and Pinwheel to annoy each other.
OCs were weird. Nico decided not to question.
The twins told Nico and CPG that they both thought Oh, Nico was weird but it was fun to read and imagine/watch Nico actually do all that stuff. Nico wrote that down, and then he and CPG left the cabin.
"I'm thinking we do Dionysus Cabin next," CPG began, "then we can-"
Before she could continue, Travis and Connor Stoll appeared out of nowhere, right in front of them.
"Nico!" they exclaimed simultaneously. "You didn't tell us you were friends with ChickWithThePurpleGuitar!"
"So close," CPG sighed. "I was so close to avoiding you."
Travis pushed Nico out of the way and wrapped an arm around CPG's shoulder, Connor doing the same on the other side.
"ChickWithThePurpleGuitar," Travis sighed dramatically. "Never have I heard such a beautiful name."
"You know that's not my real name, right?" CPG asked.
Connor loudly shushed her, pressing his index finger against her lips. CPG glared at him with such hatred that Nico was surprised Connor didn't explode. The son of Hermes awkwardly removed his finger.
CPG rolled her eyes and physically removed the brothers' arms from her shoulders, rejoining Nico in front of them.
"Really, guys, I'm flattered," she assured the Stolls. "But I have a boyfriend, and he's ginger, therefore he wins."
Before the Stoll Brothers could even begin to reply, CPG grabbed Nico's arm and dragged him as far away as physically possible.
"Didn't you break up with the ginger guy?" Nico asked after a minute or two.
"Yes," CPG admitted. "But they don't need to know that."
Nico shrugged, accepting that as an answer.
"Let's do the Dionysus kids next, okay?" CPG suggested, starting to lead Nico towards Cabin 12. "Then once we finish them, we can-"
Once again, CPG was interrupted, this time by a tall, tan, freckled thirteen-year-old with black hair with blue tips and bright sapphire blue eyes named Sondra Bullock, who introduced herself as a daughter of "Iris and/or Poseidon". CPG sighed, seeming extremely annoyed at Sondra's existence, but informed Nico that Sondra was very funny and random and loved getting into mischief. Then, reluctantly, since Sondra just so happened to be on Nico's list, the goddess asked her what she thought of Oh, Nico.
"Oh, I love Oh, Nico!" Sondra exclaimed. "I often want to join him in his craziness."
"Why do I feel like that would be a really bad idea?" CPG wondered aloud as Nico wrote that down. "Anyway, thanks, Sondra, but Nico and I gotta go, so… bye."
CPG grabbed Nico's hand and continued pulling him towards the Dionysus Cabin. No one stopped them this time, but before either of them could knock on the cabin door, a large grape vine grew across the door, blocking their way.
CPG groaned. "Ugh! Does Dionysus just not want us to talk to his kids?!"
Nico shrugged. "I guess. I mean, he's in the Big House, we could just ask him."
"Yeah, we could," CPG agreed. "But that just takes so much effort."
"Well, we have to see the Dionysus kids eventually, don't we?" Nico clarified. "Wouldn't it be easier to figure this all out now?"
CPG sighed. "Yeah, you're right. Fine, we'll go talk to Mr. D. But- just- let me do the talking, okay? The last time I took someone to ask Dionysus something, my date got turned into a dolphin."
"Yeah, I think I'll let you do the talking," Nico agreed.
Once CPG and Nico entered the Big House, it wasn't hard to find Mr. D. The god of wine was sitting in an armchair in front of the fireplace, his arms crossed like a disapproving father.
CPG rolled her eyes and shot Mr. D an annoyed glare, but her guitar appeared in her hands, which Nico had noticed usually only happened when she was nervous.
"Lord Dionysus," she greeted him with a small bow, absentmindedly plucking out the tune to "Into the Woods" on her guitar.
Mr. D silently nodded to her in some form of respect. "It's been a long time. I'm surprised you had the courage to come here."
CPG glanced nervously at Nico before turning back to Dionysus. "Well, I didn't exactly expect to run into you, my lord. Sources told me you were on Olympus."
"Obviously, your sources were wrong," Mr. D said. Nico was pretty sure he saw CPG flinch. "How are you and your mother?" the god continued.
"We're fine, no thanks to you," CPG snarled. "My reviews are helping us get by, but- of course- mortal worship hardly helps in our situation. Hence this little… adventure."
Mr. D chuckled (something Nico had previously been 97% sure was impossible). "Yes, your adventure. Chiron tells me it's going well."
CPG nodded slowly. "Well enough."
"Good," Mr. D said. "Then I ask you leave my cabin out of it. You have enough worship from the rest of the camp that you need not get my children involved."
CPG's grip tightened on her guitar, and when Nico looked over at her, her eyes were starting to turn white.
CPG nodded slowly. "Well enough."
"Good," Mr. D said. "Then I ask you leave my cabin out of it. You have enough worship from the rest of the camp that you need not get my children involved."
CPG's grip tightened on her guitar, and when Nico looked over at her, her eyes were starting to turn white.
"Lord Dionysus," she said in a strained voice. "Sir. I don't believe you quite understand. Your children tend to enjoy reading something written by one of their own."
Mr. D smirked. "Yes, but they don't know you're one of their own, do they?"
"That's hardly the point, sir," CPG nearly growled.
Nico glanced back and forth between the god and goddess, feeling as if he were watching an extremely dramatic tennis match. He was a little confused, like he was missing a couple details out of this confrontation, but he didn't have time to contemplate that fact, as he watched and waited for CPG to snap.
"Listen to me, young lady," Mr. D said sternly. "There's a reason you and I don't interact. You have your territory and I have mine, all right? So you do what you want, write your silly little fanfictions, gather your silly little fans, but unless you want a repeat of last time-" CPG flinched and glanced nervously again at Nico "-leave my children out of it."
For a few minutes, there was silence, as CPG and Dionysus glared at each other. CPG's eyes were fully white now, and Mr. D's were a deep purple. Nico started to reach for his sword, scared that one or both of the immortal beings was going to burst into flames.
Suddenly, CPG ended the dramatic staring contest by angrily stomping her foot and whining, "But Daddy!"
Nico froze in shock. "Daddy?!" he repeated.
"Don't you 'But Daddy' me!" Mr. D said, ignoring Nico. "We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you had just taken my hints in the first place!"
CPG stared at the god like he was crazy. "What hints?"
Mr. D rolled his eyes. "What, you think it was Chiron's idea to have Nico gather your fans? Like he could ever be that original! I was hoping you would have such little faith in an idiot son of Hades that you'd give up on your stupid quest."
Nico was too busy staring at Mr. D in disbelief to register the insult. "You're… her father…" he muttered to himself.
"And even when you ignored that message and started helping Nico," Mr. D continued, "I thought at least not being able to be heard by the OCs would make you see reason."
"That was you?!" CPG exclaimed.
"It was," Dionysus reluctantly admitted. "Unfortunately, you're… a lot more powerful now than the last time we spoke. It didn't take long for you to break through my spell."
CPG smirked proudly.
"But now that you're here," Mr. D concluded. "I have to insist that you end this pointless quest and go home."
CPG was no longer smirking, though her eyes were once again brown. "You don't get it, do you?" she asked rhetorically. "This isn't just a quest to me. This is what's keeping Mom and me alive. You know other people's reviews barely count as worship. I need this! And worship from my siblings could mean a world of health… of power! Why can't you let me have that?"
There were a few more minutes of silence, save for Nico's distracted mumble of, "He… and she… are related," as Mr. D and CPG had another father-daughter staring contest.
This time, Dionysus was the one to break eye contact. "Fine," he growled. "You can recruit your siblings to your subfandom. But only the ones who've already read Oh, Nico. You're not wasting their times with forty-nine chapters. Deal?"
CPG nodded, grinning. "Deal! Thanks, Daddy."
Her guitar having once again disappeared, CPG kissed Mr. D on the cheek, then dragged Nico out of the Big House and back to Cabin 12.
"Mr. D is your dad," Nico said again, still unable to believe it.
CPG rolled her eyes. "Yes, Nico, we established this, like, a page and a half ago. Dionysus is my dad."
Nico stared at her. "But… but… how?! You're the goddess of fanfiction!"
"Yes, but I'm also the goddess of Roleplay," CPG explained. "Which is practically improv. And, believe it or not, Dionysus is the god of theater. So yeah. He's my dad."
"Who's your mom?" Nico asked.
"The goddess of fandoms," CPG replied. "She's not very well-known, Greek mythology-wise, so she only gets worship power when a new fandom is created, which- believe it or not- isn't that often. She's been pretty weak for awhile now, so I've been sharing my own power with her, but of course that just hurts me in the end." CPG glanced uncomfortably at Nico to make sure he was still listening before she continued. "Anyway, that's the real point of this whole thing. If I can successfully generate a subfandom for Oh, Nico, it'll not only give power to my mom, but I'll get more reviews that I can then share with her. This chapter alone should last us a couple months."
"Huh," Nico muttered. "I had no idea this was so important to you."
CPG shrugged, visibly uncomfortable with the conversation.
Nico tried to smile kindly at her. "Well, then I'm glad to be helping."
CPG rolled her eyes and turned to knock on the cabin door. "Yeah, whatever. Can we get back to work now and not talk about my personal life?"
Nico nodded. "Right. Of course."
The cabin door opened to reveal a fourteen-year-old girl with pale skin, curly black hair, and deep blue eyes. She reminded Nico of a thirty-something-year-old daughter of Mars he'd met at Camp Jupiter, and he briefly wondered if they were related. (A/N: It's her mom. I was too lazy to say that in any other way)
"Scarlett Lestrange?" CPG asked.
"Yes!" the girl confirmed. "How can I help you?"
"I wanted to know your opinion of the fanfiction Oh, Nico," CPG explained.
Scarlett shrugged. "I could totally see Nico doing these things. It's really funny!"
"Awesome, thanks," CPG said as Nico wrote that down. "Now, can I talk to your sister Carrie?"
"Sure," Scarlett said, turning her head into the cabin. "Hey, Carrie!" she shouted. "Get your stupid face out here before I mangle it into cheesecake!" Scarlett looked back at Nico and CPG as if nothing had happened. "She'll be out in a minute," she assured them.
CPG nodded slowly. "Great… Thanks…"
Scarlett went back into the cabin. Nico glanced at CPG. "What…?" he began.
CPG shrugged. "I don't even know. She's part Roman."
"Ah," Nico said. "Makes sense."
Shortly after, a thirteen-year-old girl with curly blonde hair and purple eyes came outside. "You wanted to see me?" she asked.
"Yeah," Nico spoke up, checking his list. "You're Carrie Knight, right?"
The girl nodded.
"We wanted to know your opinion of the fanfiction Oh, Nico," CPG told her.
"Freaking awesome," Carrie replied.
"Thanks," CPG said as Nico wrote that down. "That's all we needed. Can we talk to your sister Ziona?"
"Sure," Carrie said. "I'll go get her."
A few minutes later, Carrie returned, looking annoyed. "So apparently, Ziona's too lazy to come outside. But you can go in and talk to her if you want."
Nico and CPG thanked her and entered the Dionysus Cabin. They soon found Ziona, a short girl with purple hair and brown eyes. Her only opinion of Oh, Nico was that Nico was an idiot.
CPG somehow managed to pickpocket Nico's sword before he could attack.
CPG dragged Nico out of Ziona's room and out of the Dionysus Cabin. Once he'd calmed down, she told him, "Okay, so there are, like, two Zeus kids, so I'm thinking we can-"
"Wait, we're not done with this cabin," Nico interrupted.
CPG frowned. "What? Yes we are."
"No," Nico insisted, double-checking his list. "There's still one more Dionysus kid."
"Who?" CPG demanded.
"Stacey Wood," Nico read.
CPG stared at him in shock and disbelief.
"You know her?" Nico guessed.
"Y-yeah," CPG stammered. "She's my sister… I mean, she's my half-sister, obviously. But, like, she's the only demigod child of Dionysus I actually talk to. In fact… She helped create Oh, Nico."
Stacey Wood was a sixteen-year-old girl with curly red hair, hazel eyes, and freckles, who was 6'1'' tall and called CPG Sierra (Nico didn't know why).
"Gods, Sierra, I never thought I'd see you at Camp again after last time," Stacey commented as she, Nico, and CPG conversed outside the Dionysus Cabin.
CPG shrugged uncomfortably. "Oh, you know. Times change. I came to generate my subfandom."
Stacey nodded. "Oh, yeah, right. Your fic, Oh, Nico, it's pretty popular, right?"
"You know," Stacey continued. "That fic has always reminded me of an idea I had." Suddenly, she glared at CPG. "Oh, wait. It's the same idea."
CPG rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Stace. I gave you credit for it."
Stacey sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Sorry. I'm getting bitter in my old age." She turned to Nico. "Ignore me. CPG here is amazing. With, like, capital letters and a million bajillion exclamation points."
Nico smiled. "Thanks. I've noticed."
"Oh, hey, Stace," CPG said. "While we've got you here, what's your opinion of Oh, Nico?"
"Oh, I love it," Stacey replied. "I mean, every chapter I read, I'm like, 'OMG YES who comes up with this stuff?!" Nico wrote that down. "And then I'm like, 'Oh, wait, I did'."
Again, CPG rolled her eyes. "Stacey, you made up two chapters."
"Well, yeah," Stacey admitted. "But they were the best two chapters."
CPG laughed. "Whatever, Stace. Listen, Nico and I gotta go, but I'll keep in touch."
They waved goodbye to Stacey and started walking away from the cabin.
"So is Sierra your real name?" Nico asked.
"Nope," CPG replied.
"Then why does Stacey call you that?"
"It's a long story," the goddess explained. "So! Zeus Cabin next?"
Luckily for Nico's sanity, there were only two OCs that were children of Zeus.
The first was a fifteen-year-old girl named Serenity Alexander. She looked like Thalia except with brownish-blond hair and tan skin. She was wearing a Camp Half-Blood t-shirt under a green hoodie, black jeans, and a pair of hi-top Converses that were electric blue with a lightning bolt on each. Her camp necklace had seven beads on it.
According to CPG, Serenity loved to play the guitar and drums, loved singing, dancing, reading, video games, and internet games, which was obvious by her fandom-obsessed section of the cabin. She was also pretty close to her friends, CPG said, which apparently included Nico, and so, not wanting to deal with that, he hid in the shadows while CPG did the talking.
"I find this hilarious," Serenity said when CPG asked her what she thought of Oh, Nico. "Nico's crazy antics are just too funny. I can't stop laughing."
While Nico wrote that down, CPG asked Serenity to get her brother for them.
The OC son of Zeus was a seventeen-year-old named Ryan Blaze, who had spiky jet black hair, electric blue eyes, and a strong tanned body. He told them that he loved Oh, Nico, mainly because he considered Nico as a little brother and found him quite amusing and childish (Nico wrote that down, not bothering to be offended, but glad he'd kept his shadow cloak).
Next, CPG and Nico traipsed over to the Ares Cabin, where there was only one OC they had to talk to. She was a fifteen-year-old named Nicci Bennett, who (after a quick look at her aura) Nico was pretty sure was actually a daughter of Mars, but he didn't bring it up. People tended to get testy about stuff like that. Nicci had golden blonde, unruly, curly hair and dark green eyes, and was tan and extremely athletic. She didn't talk much to CPG, but insulted Nico almost constantly (CPG assured him that was a good thing, but he wasn't sure he believed her. Then again, you could never be sure with the children of the war god).
When CPG asked Nicci her opinion of the fic, she replied, "I mean, I act like he's an idiot- which you are, Nico!- but I enjoy it. Reminds me of my friends."
Nico wrote that down, and then Nico and CPG headed over to the Aphrodite Cabin.
Nico was not excited to visit the Aphrodite Cabin.
There were only two Aphrodite kids they needed to talk to, but one of them was a Hunter of Artemis (meaning the Hunters of Artemis were going to have to show up) and the other one shipped him with Leo.
Also, according to CPG, they just might run into a twelve-year-old kid who had a crush on Nico. Who followed him around at times and tried to talk to him. Who Piper, Jason, Percy, and Annabeth had all tried to hook Nico up with. Who was a guy.
Seriously, what kind of twelve-year-old guy had a crush on another guy? (And, no, Nico didn't count. That was Percy, it was completely different).
Just Nico's luck, Ash Kramer was the first Aphrodite kid they ran into. He had black hair and kaleidoscope eyes, and as soon as he saw Nico, he started hyperventilating like Nico was Justin Bieber (which he wasn't).
Nico dragged CPG inside the cabin before Ash could say words.
Kassandra was a seventeen-year-old (totally not stuck up, for the record) daughter of Aphrodite who was unnaturally pretty, blonde, tall, tan, awesome (in Nico's opinion) and had electric blue eyes. She told Nico and CPG that she absolutely love Oh, Nico and even let it slip that she had a crush on Leo, despite the fact that she shipped him with Nico.
Nico and CPG went back outside and, with a sigh, Nico looked up at the sky. "I'm gonna have to call the Hunters, aren't I? I don't want to do that."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," CPG assured him. "I've got it covered."
Before Nico could ask what she meant, a semi-large group of teenage girls ran into camp, led by none other than Thalia Grace.
"My lady," Thalia greeted CPG with a bow, her Hunters quickly following suit. CPG nodded respectfully to them, and Thalia in turn nodded to Nico. "Di Angelo."
"Hi," Nico said awkwardly.
CPG chuckled. "Gods, if you two didn't exist, I would totally ship you."
Nico shot CPG an annoyed glare, but Thalia chose to ignore the goddess's comment. "Lady Artemis said you needed us, my lady?"
"Oh yeah!" CPG said. "Well, no. I need like two of you. Tell the rest of your Hunters to, like, pitch their tent or whatever you people do."
Thalia repeated the order (using… different words, of course…), then, once the Hunters had started towards Cabin 8, turned back to CPG.
"I need you to tell me everything you know about Jennifer Summers," the goddess requested.
Thalia raised an eyebrow, but answered nonetheless. "She's a daughter of Aphrodite, roughly fifty-seven years old, but looks sixteen. She joined up in 1973, I believe, because of her cabin's truth or dare game."
Nico shuddered. He hated those things.
"I'm surprised Lady Artemis let her in in the first place," Thalia continued. "But of course it's none of my business. Anyway, she's kinda shallow, but more mature than most of Aphrodite's kids. She's pretty much a Hippie, except for when she herself gets physically attacked." Thalia shrugged. "She says groovy."
CPG smirked. "Thanks, Thals. Is that all?"
"Oh, one more thing," Thalia said. "She's read your fanfiction, Oh, Nico, and she really likes it. But she hasn't ever gotten to fangirl about it, so if you bring it up, she might get REALLY excited."
CPG herself looked kind of excited, and Nico wasn't sure if he wanted to know why.
"Thanks, Thalia," the goddess said. "Can you go get her for me? And then you can just stay in the cabin. In fact, get your fake sister ready for me, I'll need her soon."
Thalia saluted and raced off to the Artemis Cabin.
"Fake sister?" Nico asked.
"Daughter of Artemis," CPG explained. "Don't question it."
A few minutes later, a REALLY PRETTY girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing the usual Hunters outfit but with tye-dye bracelets and headbands came up to them.
"Jennifer Summers?" CPG asked.
"Yes, my lady," the girl said. "How can I help you?"
Before CPG could even finish the question, "What's your opinion of Oh, Nico?" Jennifer squealed.
"Oh my gods, you've read Oh, Nico?!" she exclaimed. "Oh my gods, did you write Oh, Nico?! Oh, Nico is the grooviest thing in the whole world! And I've seen a lot of groovy things, being a Hunter and all, but this fic is just the grooviest. I mean, it's hilarious, and amazing, and just so, so groovy! And-"
"Okay, I get it, stop talking!" CPG yelled over her. Jennifer stopped talking. "Write down 'groovy,'" the goddess told Nico.
He nodded. "I can do that."
"Glad you like my fic, Jen," CPG said. "You're a very special snowflake. Now go away. Tell Thalia to send what's-her-name."
Jennifer saluted and ran off.
"So who's this daughter of Artemis we're talking to?" Nico asked.
"Her name's Atalanta Smith," CPG explained. "She's a daughter of Artemis, but she's not a Hunter."
"Isn't Artemis a maiden goddess?" Nico asked.
CPG shrugged. "Just don't question it. Oh, also, she can turn into a wolf when she wants… Don't even ask."
Nico nodded, confused to no end.
Atalanta was eighteen and had auburn hair and silver eyes. When CPG asked what she thought of Oh, Nico, Atalanta simply shrugged (which Nico thought was just a waste of their time, but CPG made him write it down anyway).
Having finished talking to Atalanta, Nico realized he and CPG had officially talked to all the OCs who were children of the twelve Olympian gods. All that was left were the children of the minor gods (minus Hecate, since Nico had done her cabin first) and- if Nico remembered correctly- there weren't too many of those.
It was weird. Nico had had a long couple of days on this quest. And now it was almost over. He almost felt… sad.
But then he remembered that he hated Oh, Nico, and he hated OCs, and then he was happy again.
Nico and CPG next talked to a sixteen-year-old boy named Horatio Henceforthtowith, who was the son of Aristaeus, the god of bee-keeping, cheese-making, herding, olive-growing, and hunting.
The Greeks had gods for everything.
"Horatio's special," CPG warned Nico as they approached Cabin 21. "He likes cheese, for one thing- not that there's anything wrong with that, of course, he just likes cheese more than most people. Also, he always has a small swarm of bees hanging around him, and he can send them to attack his enemies and those who call him a hipster."
"Is he a hipster?" Nico wondered aloud.
"Oh, yeah, totally," CPG replied. "He just doesn't like to admit it. But don't worry about it. The bees are not as cool as they sound."
Nico nodded. "Good to know."
CPG knocked on the cabin door, and out walked Horatio Henceforthtowith. He had spiky white-blond hair, but dark brown eyebrows, and was wearing all different shades of purple, including purple glasses and a purple scarf (making him look somewhat hipsterish). He was of normal height and weight, and there was indeed a small swarm of bees around him.
Nico took a hesitant step back. He did not like bees.
"Can I ask your opinion of Oh, Nico?" CPG asked him.
"Yeah, sure," Horatio replied, then began to explain his opinion as if he were on a reality TV show, having a one-way conversation with the camera. "I read that fic before it was cool. You bet I'll be first in line for the musical. Unless, you know, it's too mainstream by then. What? I sound like a hipster? I'm not a hipster! And anyway, don't you know the first rule of being a hipster is not admitting that you're a hipster? Sheesh…. Oh yeah, Oh, Nico. It's totally legit. Totally. Now, scram before I have my bees attack you. Fear the bees!"
Nico did indeed fear the bees, so as soon as he'd managed to scribble down Horatio's words, he grabbed CPG's hand and pulled her away.
Next, they talked to Britannia Duchess, a twelve-year-old daugher of Atë, the goddess of mischief, delusion, ruin, and folly. According to CPG, Britannia was best friends with Hailey Rane (the ninja daughter of Hecate), and HATED Travis and Connor Stoll because of a mean prank that they pulled on her when she first came to camp and wasn't claimed yet.
Britannia had raved black hair with brown tips, bright blue eyes with a hint of green, brown, and gold, and was of average height and weight.
When CPG asked her what she thought of Oh, Nico, Britannia replied that it was "one of the only things that caused her to laugh without it being at someone's expense.
Nico quickly wrote that down and then he and CPG moved on.
On their way to Cabin 17, where their next OC lived, Nico and CPG ran into Blare, a daughter of Nyx Nico's age, who was angry most of the time and wore black, but seemed to like Nico. They spoke briefly to her, but since she hadn't read Oh, Nico, and had no intention of doing so, they soon moved on.
Connor McCoy was 5'8'', muscular but not ripped, and had black curly hair. He was a son of The Phobetor, god of nightmares, and was the same age as Nico and wore dark jeans, a Blink 182 t-shirt, a leather cuff on his right wrist, and a buckle-down belt with the evolutions of Charmander on it and a picture of a pokeball on the front. When he opened the cabin door, McCoy was holding a stack of eleven pennies, and was in the middle of doing that trick where you balance the coins on your elbow, move your elbow, and then catch the coins.
McCoy grinned as Nico and CPG applauded his trick, then asked them, "What can I do for you guys?"
CPG asked him what he thought of Oh, Nico, and McCoy replied, "I love it. I think it's an awesome, hilarious, random story."
Nico wrote that down. "Thanks," he told McCoy. "By the way, your dad kinda has a super villain name."
"Yeah, pretty much," McCoy agreed.
With that, Nico and CPG moved on to Cabin 18, which was right next door.
They next talked to Mae, a seventeen-year-old daugher of Nemesis with dark hair and Snow White-like features. In simply hearing that she was in love with Oh, Nico, Nico deduced that she was kind of brooding and shy and creepy. As CPG talked to her, she spent the whole time glaring at Nico, as if she had some kind of grudge against him (he was sure that in her AU, he'd done something to merit the grudge, but he figured it'd be safer not to ask).
Nico wrote down her reaction and quickly pulled CPG away, not wanting to spend too much time with a daughter of the goddess of revenge who hated him.
They next traveled to Cabin 23, where resided a single daughter of Khione, a sixteen-year-old named Cameron Wynters (apparently she was known as Ronnie by ⅔ of the camp, but she hated the name). Even though it was summer, Cameron was wearing winter clothes (a wooly hat, gloves, a scarf, a long sleeve jacket, etc.) and it was evident by the interesting state of her cabin that she'd developed a close relationship with the Hermes Cabin based on a love of pranks.
Cameron told them that she thought Oh, Nico was awesome and hilarious; then- just as CPG started to hum Let It Go- Nico dragged the goddess away.
Cabin 24 also had only one habitant- Miguel, a tall, muscular, dark black-haired, brown-eyed son of Hercules (or, Heracles, technically) of the age of somewhere in between twelve and fifteen. He was a pacifist, according to CPG, much unlike his father in that he was shy and nervous, and very seldom laughed, only occasionally chuckled. Miguel's greatest fear was that he might accidentally hurt someone he cared about, and he forgot his own strength when he was nervous (which was pretty much all the time).
Somehow (Nico chose not to ask how), CPG knew that Miguel LOVED Oh, Nico, but when asked, he simply smiled and chuckled quietly. Nico wrote down both answers before he and the goddess moved on.
Their next stop was technically Cabin 25, an honorary Bellona Cabin Annabeth had built for Reyna, but CPG first pulled Nico back into the Big House.
"There's another unclaimed kid on your list," the goddess explained. "Her name's María Angélica, she's from Latin America. She's positive and cheerful, and she likes singing and dancing (although she's not the best dancer), and just enjoys music. She likes to talk a lot and be on Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc. Basically, she's a fangirl. She gets distracted a lot and sometimes can be pretty clueless. But she likes going out with her friends and laughing with them." CPG took a deep breath. "Anyway…"
María was fifteen, brunette with shoulder-length hair, of average height, and had dark brown eyes. She immediately recognized CPG as the author of Oh, Nico, and seemed excited to tell the goddess her opinion of the fic.
""I JUST CAN'T, I CAN'T EVEN, I HAVE LOST MY ABILITY TO EVEN! ALDKJFLASKJDFLKASJDFLSAKJDFLSDKJF," she shouted, causing both Nico and CPG to raise a curious eyebrow at her. "Haha but seriously," she continued, "I love the plot, each chapter is just brilliant, and I love that at the end of the chapter, you always write, 'Oh, Nico.' I really enjoy reading this fanfic cause it's simply amazing."
Nico wrote that down, then asked, "Hey, María, who do you think your godly parent is?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I'd say something cool like Poseidon or Hades, but I'm sure I would be a daughter of Demeter, Hermes, or Apollo."
Nico nodded. "Good to know."
Samantha Novak, a sixteen-year-old daughter of Bellona, had blue eyes, brown hair, some freckles, and was pretty tall. She was apparently Nico's good friend but for once Nico had no interest in AUs. Instead, her last name piqued his interest.
"Are you related to Cas's vessel?" he asked.
Samantha grinned. "Yep! Jimmy Novak's my dad."
"That's so cool!" Nico exclaimed. "So, do you just hang out with Castiel, like, all the time? Is he super cool? Can he-"
"Nico," CPG interrupted. "Look, I love unnecessary Supernatural references as much as anybody, but we don't have time for this."
"Right," Nico muttered. "Sorry. Samantha, what do you think of Oh, Nico?"
Samantha told them that she was slightly ashamed of having one of her friends act like that, but she found the whole thing funny. Nico wrote that down, then followed CPG to the next cabin.
They went to Cabin 19, which was a huge cabin split into nine different parts, one for each of the Nine Muses. They talked to Uno Drox, a fifteen-year-old daugher of Euterpe, the Muse of music and lyric poetry. Uno had a sorta round face, kinda squishy, in Nico's opinion (like marshmallow squishy, not Squishy squishy). She was really short for her age, and pale, like she didn't get out enough. She had a button-y nose, and black hair down to her waist with bandage-like material woven throughout it attached to the base of a grey headband and tied at the base of her hair in a really low ponytail. She was wearing a long brown coat with a strange combo of sweaters and sweats underneath.
"She's kinda sarcastic and silly," CPG had told Nico as they'd traveled to the cabin. "She mutters all thoughts that go through her head to herself, and almost no one ever hears them. She's always at the back of the crowd and won't leave her room unless she has to or something interesting is going on. Also she's a Harry Potter fan- a Dumbles/Weasley hater (except the twins and Charlie and potentially Bill) and she loves the creature fics."
"What's that mean?" Nico had asked.
CPG shrugged. "No idea."
"So, what do you think of Oh, Nico?" she now asked.
"Well," Uno replied, "I like to giggle/raise an eyebrow/snort/high five Nico, depending on what happens, and I think Oh, Nico is hilarious and should be given several awards."
"W-well, there are awards to be given," CPG informed her. "Literally, just google it, there are Percy Jackson fanfic awards that I could win, if one of you people nominates me and then all my adoring fans go and vote."
Nico jabbed her with his elbow. "CPG," he scolded. "Rude."
"What?" she asked innocently. "Would you prefer I promote myself in the Author's Notes?"
"No, that'd be bad," he admitted.
As he pulled the goddess away, she whispered to Uno, "Seriously, give me all the awards!"
Next, they talked to Janus Monroe, a forty-six-year-old younger looking dude with salt and pepper hair and gray blue eyes. He was 6'2'', and introduced himself as the son of the Muse of poetry, although that could be Calliope (Muse of epic poetry) or Erato (Muse of love poetry).
"What do you think of Oh, Nico?" CPG asked him.
"Oh, I love the kid," Janus replied, ruffling Nico's hair (much to his dismay), "but I say 'Oh, Nico' too much to be healthy."
Nico and CPG next went to the Iris Cabin to talk to a thirteen-year-old named Sydney Mason. She had brown hair with a rainbow streak, rainbow eyes, light skin, and was wearing- along with the usual Camp Half-Blood attire- pink lip gloss and her camp necklace, which had two beads on it.
CPG seemed to really like Sydney for some reason. She grinned the entire time they talked to her, and after Sydney told them that she thought Nico was "awesome and so funny," CPG gave her a hug.
Nico decided not to question.
As they exited the Iris Cabin, Nico suddenly stopped short, pulling CPG back with him.
"What are you doing?" she asked him.
"That was our last OC," Nico realized. "We're done. After three days of adventuring around Camp Half-Blood with a goddess, talking to over eighty strangers with pre-conceived connections to me, I'm finally done. I can live again. I CAN BE FREE!"
Nico struck a dramatic pose as he finished his speech. For a few seconds, there was silence. Then CPG said, "You do know there's three more OCs waiting in your cabin, right?"
"What?!" Nico exclaimed.
"Did you think there were no children of Hades?" CPG asked innocently.
Nico stared at her. "Where were they the last four time we went into my cabin?"
CPG shrugged. "I don't know. OC World?"
Nico frowned. "That's a thing?"
Nico sighed. "Just three, right?"
CPG nodded. "Yep. Just three and then we're done."
"Okay then." Nico sighed. "Let's get this over with."
Nico had three OC sisters, because the universe was cruel like that.
The first one's name was Victoria. She had browny-blonde hair, dark eyes, dark clothes, and pale skin. When CPG asked her what she thought of Oh, Nico, Victoria replied, "Love it. I like how you don't show Nico as depressingly as most others. And I love the penguin."
"It's penguins, actually," Nico grumbled as he wrote that down. "There are thirteen of them."
CPG rolled her eyes. "Come on, Mr. Grumpy Pants," she said, pulling him along.
Next, they talked to Francesca, who was a teeny tiny dwarf (okay not that tiny but you get it). She was eighteen, slim but curvy, and had red hair that Nico was pretty sure was fake. According to CPG, Francesca was Italian, but couldn't cook to save her life, and she was pretty shy but if you got past that she'd just hand you her heart over.
"Oh I love it!" Francesca said when CPG asked her opinion of the fic. "Nico is such a dork, you just can't help loving him."
Nico glared at his "sister" as he wrote that down.
Their last OC was a girl named Anonymus Rose. She was either thirteen or fourteen, Nico couldn't tell, and she had black hair and freckles. She was also not too tan and wore a tannish above knees-length detective coat with black leather boots.
CPG described her as being "crazy in a good way."
For the last time, CPG asked for an opinion of her fic. Anonymus said that she was "fine with it until a certain point," and as Nico wrote that down, he felt a sad sense of nostalgia wash over him.
When he looked up, he and CPG were back in the Big House.
"Well," CPG stated. "We're done. We've generated my subfandom."
"Took us long enough," Nico laughed, handing her the list.
CPG leafed through the pages, smiling, then hugged the papers to her chest. "Thanks for helping me, Nico. This is gonna do me a lot of good."
Nico shrugged. "It was no problem."
"Hey, didn't you want to ask me something?" CPG asked.
"Oh yeah!" Nico realized. "I almost forgot, I want you to stop writing Oh, Nico."
CPG's face fell. "What?"
"I know it helps you and your mom," Nico said. "But don't you have other fics too? Ones that don't make up my life?"
"No, they make up your life too, just differently," CPG muttered.
"CPG, I don't want to ever have to go through this again," Nico explained. "These strangers seeing me as someone I'm not."
CPG nodded. "Yeah, I- I get it. I'll stop."
Nico sighed in relief. "Thank you. Does that mean the OCs are gone too?"
"Oh no, the OCs are completely different," CPG said. "Either you lose the fic, or the OCs, you can't lose both."
Nico groaned. "Seriously? Fine- you can keep writing Oh, Nico, just get rid of the OCs."
CPG grinned. "I can do that!" She snapped her fingers, and an explosion sounded outside. "They're gone now."
Nico cheered. "Yes! I'M FREEEEE!" He excitedly ran out of the Big House and towards the Igloo, whooping and shouting the whole way there.
CPG laughed, summoned her guitar, and held it close to her as she watching. Then, she shook her head, gave a little sigh, and said, "Oh, Nico."
A/N: Hey, guys. Put in your review how long it took you to read that. Cause it took me six freaking months to write it. I really reeeeeeally hope you liked the chapter, and please let me know what you thought :D :D :D :D :D :D