AN: So I keep reading all these fanfics about Kaoru and Hikaru being slowly driven apart by Hikaru's infatuation with Haruhi and I find that a little preposterous. Clearly in the actual anime there is the instance where Kaoru sets up a date with Haruhi for his brother, but that was to broaden his horizons beyond themselves and to become empathetic to others as a friend. I believe that to be because his brother is unfamiliar with having a companion who also has other companions, and reacts selfishly to the issue. In the fanfics it has Kaour reacting selfishly to the same situation placing Haruhi and Hikaru in a romantic setting. On their date Hikaru could be less than interested in Haruhi romantically however, and I find placing them together to be awkward. I'm not bashing those fics, there is clearly precedent for such a pairing if you wish. This is merely my response to the situation. I figured if you wanted some good material, write it yourself. Let me know what you think. No bashing please.
Warnings: BL, HikaruxKaoru, twincest. Don't like= Don't read. I hate it when people complain about intentionally reading material they know they won't like T_T It ruins it for all of us loyal fans and writers.
Holding my brother's hand was the most contented I have ever been. We always held hands. Holding hands was our way of anchoring ourselves physically with the same emotional balance we always held for each other. Physically expressing what we always mentally understood. The older we got and the bigger we grew never mattered; Hikaru always persistently held my hand all my life despite the repercussions.
At the age of seven or eight was when we first had our doubts, or at least I did.
"So what are you guys, fags?" We had stopped in unison, and turning around we faced the child who had unwittingly singled us out.
"What are you talking about?" We asked innocently together.
"Always holding hands. What's the matter with you two?" The boy asked. In the background some of our other classmates began murmuring in the shadows of the refectory.
"They do hold hands a lot…"
"They don't even leave each other's company at all."
"The other day they even went into the restroom together…"
I looked over at Hikaru who in turn turned to face me. We both mutually didn't care.
"Are you jealous?" We asked in unison.
"U-uh…what?" The boy blanched as though we had struck him.
"Why do you care if we hold hands?" Hikaru asked.
"Unless of course you'd like to be the one holding them?" I answered. A couple of girls in the class began to giggle and the boys where giving the accused boy cold looks.
"Just so you know we aren't interested." The boys' startled face no longer amused us, he completely fell victim to our wit with no fight at all. We were bored, and turned to leave.
"I was not interested!" He shouted to our retreating backs.
Later I remember I couldn't stop thinking about the incident. Of course Hikaru could tell. Laying in our bed he propped his head up with a hand to stare down at me.
"You're still thinking about something." It was a statement, not a question.
"Hikaru, do you think we…hold hands too much?" I turned to face him. He was absolutely shameless.
"Do you think we do Kaoru?" He said smirking. He knew I wasn't worried, just fishing for a response.
I smiled in return. "I think we should do it more actually." He remained unfazed.
"Are you worried about what that boy said today?" Hikaru asked, skipping to the heart of the matter.
"I'm not so much worried. I'm more-," I searched for the right word, gazing into his golden eyes," curious." I finally settled on the appropriate term. His eyes glimmered in the moonlight, and I knew he was intrigued. We were always continuously amused with each other.
"How do you feel about it Hikaru?" I asked tentatively.
"Oh, you know…" Hikaru moved closer snaking an arm around my waist beneath the sheets and nuzzling his head in the crook of my neck. "I'm always curious, Kaoru." He whispered into my neck softly and I felt a shiver wriggle its way down my spine with a sensation only my brother could give me. We fell asleep in each other's arms like that as we had so many times before. To this day I can never fall asleep without Hikaru by my side.
I remember the first time we kissed. We were twelve. It came naturally to us, as though we were meant to do it. After all, nobody was closer to me than Kaoru, who else would I have tried it with? Almost everyone at school left us alone, and that was how we liked it. Whenever a girl became interested in one of us we subjected them to the 'Which one is Hikaru Game' and they all failed. I suppose if we had met someone early on who could have recognized us as unique individuals things might have ended up differently. By the time we met Haruhi we were far too involved with each other to ever entertain the idea of being sexually attracted to someone else. From the very beginning I recognized my brother as different and unique. Kissing him fulfilled every desire I'd ever held for my dear Kaoru.
It was the beginning of a sexual discovery for us, physically finding out who we are like children are prone to do. Witnessing displays of affection between men and women was new to us, and we'd never even entertained the thought of being with a woman when we had each other. So when we saw a boy and a girl kissing in the park one day, we grew curious. We were always curious.
Sitting in one of the gardens surrounding our manse I noticed Kaoru's glazed expression, his lips pursed slightly picking rose petals off of one of the bushes with his nimble fingers. I was almost content to leave him to his thoughts and just watch him continue with his demonstration. But then again, I told you I was curious. I moved behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"I know what you're thinking, Kaoru." I whispered lovingly into his right ear, my lips brushing against his soft skin. His right ear was so sensitive and I could almost feel the shiver running down his spine. He looked up at me with almost a shocked expression that quickly replaced itself with a devilish smirk.
"And what am I thinking about Hikaru?"
"About that couple we saw kissing in the park today." If he was surprised at the fact I'd figured it out he didn't show it.
"And…" Others to might have been apprehensive about their first kiss, but I knew my brother. He was familiar, but not in a boring way and I knew what he wanted without exactly being able to explain how.
"You want to try it don't you?" Kaoru's eyes shined at my words and I knew he was excited. I didn't want to disappoint him. Moving out from behind him I positioned myself in front of him and sitting with my legs crossed waiting. Kaoru's eyes never moved from mine, and I didn't want to move until he said anything. I wanted him to want me. Kaoru waited and time stretched on for what seemed like an hour, and his eyes were finally starting to pool with disappointment. He opened his mouth to speak and suddenly found my mouth on his. I could tell he was surprised, and I could tell he was satisfied. His mouth didn't move for the first few seconds and then I finally felt his sweet lips press against my own. The sensation was new, and yet in the same way familiar.
I closed my eyes and continued to press against my brother and I felt his arms move to hold me around the neck. I t was simple. Just a sweet kiss with our lips touching for a few seconds, but it changed my life forever. I knew it changed his too. When I pulled away from him I could feel this ripping sensation as though we were farther apart than usual, but that was preposterous. I guess being that close made me never want to leave that proximity. I wanted to stay kissing him with his arms around me for the rest of my life. I saw a new look in his eyes when we sat across from each other in the rose bushes. It was one of longing, one of love. I knew on mine was a similar expression. We didn't need to say anything, but I wanted to anyway. I wanted to hear verbally what I knew we both felt emotionally.
"How was that Kaoru?" Kaoru didn't answer, just gazed at me. My brother had never fallen silent with me before, and momentarily I was worried.
"D-did you like it?" I asked. There was a pause, and I was afraid my brother wouldn't respond. I looked down at the ground in shame.
"Do it again." Kaoru's voice was weaker than usual and filled with a sentiment I couldn't completely pinpoint, but somehow understood.
So I did it again.
How was that for the first chapter? I'll update soon (or at least I plan to). Please R&R and tell me what you think, and any suggestions you have for future fics or chapters. Also, if any of you know of any good anime or manga I'm always open to suggestions See you guys soon.