Summary : A small insight into the life of one's who's only purpose is to shut up, obey, and follow.
I looked wearily up at my commanding officer, a Boomerang Bro. He was barking orders about Mario approaching the Tower, and how we needed to get to work to defend it. Not that it mattered. Mario would win. He would stomp on every one of us, maybe throw a fireball or too.
My name is Goomward. Not that our names matter to any of the superiors. We're cannon fodder. Not just me and the other Goombas, but some of the Koopas too. I believe there's a Shy Guy and Boo here too. We're all members of the Koopa Troop whether we like it or not.
We leave our quarters and get into position. Mario had just reached the entrance, and the initial squads were doing a very, very bad job of keeping him away. I don't understand why we don't just drop something on him from the upper level, maybe finish him off. But Bowser…he wants his Victory to be Solid, not just a cheap shot. Even when he uses his magic and fire, he knows he's fighting an equal opponent.
I look down. A Dry Bones just got stomped on, and it's bones crumbled down. Mario gave a satisfied smile, and began to proceed. Jerk. The Skeletal Koopa, however, quickly reanimated. It snuck up from behind and whammed it's palm against the back of the cursed Plumber's head. He winced, and it looked like he was done for, much to my company's pleasure.
However, Mario simply smashed a nearby block, and grabbed a temporary invincibility star. He whammed back into the Dry Bone, and it was gone for good.
Over Powerful cheater. Anyway, I had a quick thought of how the Dry Bone works. How did the bones stay together? Such as his carpals of his hand. And the intermediate, distal and proximal parts of the phalanges. And the metacarpal. Wondering how I do know such terms? Well, there used to be time when Goombas went to school. And learn things. Things change. I've just treasured the information I remember.
Maybe it was the Magikoopas, or some Necromancy Bowser's been keeping a secret from us.
Musings aside, Mario was right below us. I and some Paragoombas and a Koopa were positioned at the Door where Iggy Koopa, one of Bowser's sons, was waiting in ambush. I bet Kamek or Kammy was waiting with him to put some spell to increase his abilities. Only forestalling their defeat, if you ask me. One Ice Bro was with us, and I guess he was in charge because he was of higher rank. Any sensible leader would tell us to retreat now. But, hey, this isn't a regular army.
Mario tossed a casual fireball at us. Ice Bro feared fire, and he fell quickly. It's a shame, kinda. That he had to die to his worst fear. In fact, it's just plain cruel. A Paragoomba dived bomb Mario, knocking him down to the castle floor.
"Oof! Why, I oughta stomp the lot-a ya." Mario threatened. I wouldn't give him that chance. Not this time. I rammed sidelong into Mario's legs, and he grew more angry.
Hey, maybe we could take him this time. He wasn't doing too well. Maybe he had some sour spaghetti earlier.
Yeah! The Koopa retracted into his shell, and whirled it, whamming it into Mario. He went plunging down, possibly going to be crushed from the Weight of the Fall.
"It's- a me! Weegee!" Oh, dang it. That familiar voice was heard from the bottom of the pits. He quickly ascended, and caught his Older but Shorter brother in the nick of time. Go figure.
Mario and Luigi. The Mario Bros. Scum of the Koopa Troop, always saving Princesses, fighting us. Bowser's army. They also have distant cousins named Wario and Waluigi, who Bowser has employed from time to time, though they're generally…more of anti-heroes.
So guess what happened next. The cliché. We lost. I ran, but I was stomped. I'm still alive in a hospital ward, writing this down.
Curse those Plumbers.
-Written by Goomward