This one still makes me blush that I wrote it. In first person. O.O Awkward. But it was a reward for my favorite reviewer, and I keep my word.
I believe the summary for this is something like: Near attends a Sex Ed class and doesn't understand why he isn't attracted to girls. He goes to Mello and Matt and of course, they offer to help him "figure it out."
Title: Sex Ed
Category: Anime/Manga » Death Note
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M
Published: 02-07-12, Updated: 05-21-12
Chapters: 4, Words: 9,901
Chapter 1: Chapter 1
A/N: This is a reward fanfiction for Breezy-kuki for winning my review contest. I hope you like it.
I do not own Death Note, nor do I make money for what I write.
This is guy on guy on guy. Love it or leave it.
I recommend loving it.
Introspection was never my strong point. So, after attending that painful class, and interviewing three fellow classmates about their viewpoints, I concluded something was wrong, but had no idea how to go about figuring out what exactly it was.
It started third period. The entire class of the top 30 sat in their usual seats and the entire staff of about 15 lined up at the front of the room. The female teachers took the female students and left to the neighboring classroom. About thirteen of us and seven of them were left. And then they started talking. They encouraged questions, though their motivations appeared to waver between explaining sex to us in the most scientific way possible, and laughing at the reactions it got from the usual impenetrable wall of emotionlessness we all projected. Mello raised his hand and asked,
"Can two guys have sex? Or two girls?" Matt actually looked up from the ever-present Gameboy he had in his lap, under the desk to roll his eyes at Mello.
"Sexual stimulation can be achieved in almost any scenario, however there is a special connection between a man and a woman-"
"I saw this porno once, where three guys and a girl all got-"
He, of course, spent the entire class laughing, tears streaming down his face, without even bothering to hide it. I didn't see how it could be so funny. It was illogical, certainly, that they felt they needed to explain the emotions behind sex when we had never been sat down to explain why we ate, or slept, or excreted. It was another natural function, and the only mystery behind it that I could hypothesize caused it to be treated so specially was the near mythical status it had gained with the schoolchildren.
I remembered sitting behind the shed once, during my mandatory outdoor time, trying to keep away from the sun and the other children, and when a boy and a girl filed into the shed, I peeked through the crack, knowing they would never notice me.
"Only for five seconds."
"Yeah, I know."
"And you have to give me all of your desserts for a week."
"That's not fair, I'm showing you mine, too."
"Yeah, but mine is different. I'm a girl."
"Fine. All my desserts." My eyes widened as she yanked down her pants, revealing smooth chocolate skin, and private areas to the world.
"Four…three…two…one." The pants were hitched back up. "Your turn." He repeated her actions, and that was less shocking, because of course, it was an action I'd seen in the showers a hundred times over, though there was a thickness to the atmosphere here, as though the air itself were holding its breath. She left, soon after, and the boy keeping watch walked in so the two boys could sit and discuss the experience.
"It was kind of ugly."
"No way, dude, you've gotta get one of them to let you put yours in." A gasp.
"Inside of it?"
"Yeah, it'll make your hot dog grow bigger."
"Why would I want that?"
"So more girls will let you put it in."
They both pondered that for a moment.
"Gross." I wholeheartedly agreed.
This class was really only a more information based version of that, where all the information everyone had was laid out for all to see. We learned about masturbation- a ritual many boys already participated in, and sexual intercourse. Neither seemed particularly comfortable. We also learned that women could masturbate as well, which caused almost everyone to tilt their heads and try to picture how this might work. Mello laughed harder than ever. At some point, further explanation was superfluous, and the staff gave up on trying to make us ask questions. They left a question box for anonymous seekers of knowledge, and the girls rejoined us, clearly trying not to make eye contact. Apparently, they too had learned of their status as the recievers in any given sexual scenario, and it disgusted them. I alone, was unperturbed, though slightly annoyed by the change in my class schedule. They hadn't told me anything of use.
Later, I spoke to my roommate, a small and nearly mute boy named Oliver. Things were done alphabetically at Whammy's, and there was no other N for me to share a room with. Oliver seemed shocked I had spoken to him, and when I asked my question, he seemed even more shocked.
"N-no, I've never h-h-h-h…"
"Had…" I gently prompted and he nodded gratefully.
"Have you ever wanted to?"
"I-I-I…Th-that is, uh, j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j…" He took a few deep breaths and blushed. "J-j-jenny." Fascinating.
"And what do you want, exactly?"
"Near!" he scolded, and actually managed to get the word out. I left him alone, feeling he deserved the solitude, and searched for someone else to ask. Was it unusual that I alone, out of all the boys at Whammy's did not see a female and suffer from an overpowering urge to penetrate her? It seemed like a disgusting pastime to me, and the others' fascination with it intrigued me. The next boy I asked, Tucker, was a loud and generally abrasive young man who was well known for getting along well with girls, which is why I approached him. Social interaction was never my forte, so instead of exchanging niceties, I asked my question directly, hoping to speed the conversation along.
"Tucker, do you have any personal sexual experience?" I asked, and he laughed.
"So our little Near is a voyeur, huh? What dirty details are you after?"
"Why would one do it recreationally?" He actually seemed speechless, and after almost a minute of gaping at me, he asked,
"Haven't you ever been, like, horny?" I considered. I had been physically aroused of course, I was thirteen, and it was a natural point in my development, but it was always waking up from dreams. Mello beating me up for my grades, Matt defeating me in every computer class we'd ever taken…
"Not really." I settled on as an answer, and he shook his head disbelievingly.
"I can't help you, dude." I decided to ask Mello, who- based on his comments- had at least had acquired steady access to pornography (most likely through Matt, who had broken Whammy's internet block the first time they gave him a laptop), and had a larger chance of being able to explain to me why everyone else's reactions differed so completely from mine.
I walked to his room, stood outside and knocked gently. No one answered, but I heard heavy breathing inside. Was Mello asthmatic? Or Matt, I remembered suddenly that it was his room as well. I pushed open the door, and my mouth fell open in shock.
Matt and Mello were both on the bed, but they were not lying side by side playing video games like usual. Matt was straddling Mello, and leaning down into his lips. Mello arched up underneath him and both were desperately touching as much of each other's skin as they could reach. Mello's hands stroked Matt's back hungrily, occasionally giving him little nudges to urge him even closer. Matt obliged briefly and then pulled back, trailing kisses down Mello's jaw and onto his neck, then lower, and lower, until he latched onto his collarbone, and I realized Mello's chest was bare. Suddenly, Matt was leaving little bites, and I waited for Mello to push him off, because it surely had to hurt, but Mello began whining, a desperate sound I had never imagined coming from the blonde.
"Matt…" he moaned, and his voice was different, throatier and huskier than usual. Matt rewarded with an even harder bite, and his lips closed around Mello's nipple. I wondered if he was kissing again, or biting, and wondered suddenly, which would make Mello happier. He certainly had seemed to enjoy the abuse. Mello's eyes were closed in ecstasy and Matt rewarded his responses with a quick kiss, during which his eyes opened and he noticed me. Matt regarded me carefully over Mello, and stopped. Mello seemed upset by the lack of attention, and pressed himself into Matt, who very deliberately licked two rivulets of sweat across Mello's chest, and then nudged him.
"Mel." And the seriousness in his tone made Mello open his eyes and sit up.
"What is i-" His eyes stopped scanning the room as he saw me. He jumped and pushed Matt off of him, covering his bare chest with the blanket. "What the FUCK, Near?" He cursed, and I couldn't tell if he was blushing with fury or embarrassment. He opened his mouth, most likely to descend into his usual anti-Near rampage, but Matt had never taken those thoughtful green eyes off of me and raised one finger to shush him. I was shocked for the second time that day when he listened to Matt and actually quieted. Clearly the dynamics of their relationship were different than I had assumed.
"Near, either leave or come in, but you have to shut the door." Which did I want to do? Hmmm. On the one hand, it appeared they had far more experience than I had expected, however, this certainly wasn't the female/male relationship I had hoped to gain insight into. I felt the scene was too intimate to intrude upon, however, with this clear invitation, I couldn't help but feel that I was being given a rare opportunity to learn, and perhaps Matt was willing to view my education professionally, and not view my interest as more than clinical curiosity, as indeed it was. Mello looked surprised, but a calculated smile crept across Matt's face when I took a step in and closed the door.
"What are you doing here, anyways?" Asked Mello, in almost a snarl, but still subdued under Matt's stare. I realized then, how intense Matt's eyes were. They were the brightest emerald I'd ever seen, and contrasted intensely with his red hair, damp now, from his sweat. I realized I'd never been caught in those eyes before; he was always either looking down at a videogame or had the goggles as a shield to filter out some of the intensity of his gaze before it reached anyone. Here though, he seemed completely untamed, and it became less and less surprising how Mello melted under his commands.
"I...I had some questions…about the lesson today…I was confused…" My voice came out almost bashful, and I realized that despite my ability to take everything clinically and emotionlessly, I was overwhelmed by the sheer emotion in the room, and it showed in my voice. The new, powerful Matt took a stride off the bed, jumping confidently down to the floor, and I almost cowered from the dominance that oozed out of his every pore.
"So you came to us, because we're older and must know more about sex?"
"No, I just, I-I thought maybe because of what Mello said during the lesson…"
"What are you confused about, Near?" I bowed my head in shame, because, clearly something was wrong with me, and I couldn't blame my intellect for taking me beyond such things because if I knew anything about Matt and Mello, it was that they were smart, very smart, and even they had the passion I was never able to summon up.
"I never feel that way…when I look at girls." Matt's smile became huge and teasing.
"I never feel that way when I look at girls. Mello sure as hell isn't allowed to feel that way when he looks at girls." And I blushed again, wondering what was wrong with me, again, because that wasn't the way I meant it, but in this room with the air still thick from their breath and sweat, it seems very much that way.
"I wonder…" mused Matt, and before I could ask him what exactly it was that he wondered, he tilted his head, and I wondered what he could possibly whisper in my ear before I realized it wasn't my ear he was going for, but my cheek, and he kissed me softly. Before pulling away, he ruined the chastity of the kiss with a quick darting of his tongue over my skin to taste me, and then the scent of him was gone as he withdrew back into his own space. No, Mello had pushed him.
"Matt!" Mello shouted, sounding scandalized, and I waited for an attack to come, because of course, this was his Matt that I had let kiss me, his room I had walked into, his intimate moment I had interrupted.
"Are you okay, Near?" his hands cradled my face and I wondered what kind of strange parallel universe I had wandered into because in my world, Mello didn't possess such a gentle touch, and I would never, ever, lean into that touch and allow myself to be soothed. "Near, was that too much? Did it scare you? Dammit, Matt, you know how I feel about that." Matt smiled from back on the bed.
"I wasn't testing Near, dumbass, I was testing you. So who are you more jealous of; Near for getting my kiss, or me for kissing Near?" I am enough of a genius, that I could overcome my social handicap and understand the suggestion behind that question, but it didn't make sense to me: why would Mello be jealous of Matt for kissing me? Matt continued slyly. "What was that you said?" his voice grew high and whiny, in a rude parody of Mello's voice. "He's so cute, he's so smart, look at his hair, look at his eyes, I want him, Matt…" I blushed. Was this true? I peered up through my hair at Mello, who seemed more embarrassed than me. And Matt said something that just drove the confusion in even deeper. In a deep voice, almost a growl, he asked, "Well, what if I decided I want him too?"
Suddenly, Mello couldn't take it anymore, and honestly, I couldn't either, so it was almost a relief when he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, the same as Matt, so long as it stopped that husky voice from whispering such terrible, seductive things. Almost a relief until his tongue ran over my skin too, and I realized Mello was already worked up and apparently had wanted this for some time, and I couldn't help but wonder if he was enjoying my taste or the taste of Matt on my skin when he made a little sigh that brushed hot air against my skin, before leaning back. And I could almost read the words in his eyes, could almost hear him whisper, not enough, before he tilted my head up and suddenly, it was those same lips, those cool lips and hot breath pressing against my own lips and my incredible, analytical intellect was gone and it was just…
I realized just how sensitive my own lips were, and how every point of contact seemed to burn with ice and fire at the same time, and I wondered if his lips were just as sensitive, and I moved my own experimentally and heard him groan, and it wasn't a groan for Matt, but for me, just for me, and I wondered again where my brain with all its inhibitions that were supposed to keep me too far away for people for this to happen had gone, but lost even that thought when he nibbled my bottom lip, and it was almost painful at this level of sensitivity and feeling.
And suddenly that feeling sharpened to pain and was gone, as Mello was yanked from my lips sharply and shoved back onto the bed. Matt looked slightly flustered from watching us, but still, those eyes drew me in. A few of his fingers tangled around my collar, and he started pulling me closer to he and Mello on the bed, but he was oddly gentle, and I understood that this was still my choice, that at this point, I could still run, and pretend this had never happened.
"Come join us in the bed, Near."
And to my surprise, I did.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
I perched on the edge of the bed, looking nervously up at both of the boys to my right. I was fairly certain I had a "now what?" expression on my face, because both of them smiled at me reassuringly.
"The thing you need to know about Mello," instructed Matt, "Is that he allows himself to be completely overwhelmed by passion. I'm sure you've observed this in class, when he yells at you," I nodded, like a good student. "but there's another side to it. For example…" Matt kissed Mello fiercely, pushing him back against the headboard and Mello went limp, though Matt seemed determined to make it a show for me and deliberately stroked certain areas of Mello's body, showing me his reaction to each. His jawline won a sigh, and a relaxed expression, his inner thigh seized him up with tension, although he still seemed to be smiling into Matt's lips, and when Matt ducked to suck at the pulse on his throat, he received a loud and needy moan that bubbled up from down in Mello's throat. Matt stopped and disentangled himself to leave Mello leaning against the headboard in unfulfilled need, fingers clutching at the space where Matt had been.
Matt addressed me in his patient speaking voice.
"Did you pay attention?" I nodded. "Then you try." I moved for Mello's neck, remembering the noise he'd made and wanting him to make it again for me, but Matt stopped me just as my lips touched his skin, pulling me away from Mello, who squirmed in displeasure at the loss of contact. "No, Near. You always end at the most sensitive place. To begin, you need to tease him until the smallest touch will drive him crazy so when you give him what he wants, it's even more effective." I looked confused. "Near, you're so innocent. I guess it only adds to the allure, but…" he sighed. "Like this."
Matt arched forward and dipped back, leaving a kiss on the corner of my mouth so small and fleeting I snaked out my tongue to taste if Matt had really been there. Then Matt kissed just below my lips, then the underside of my jaw…I tilted back my head to allow Matt more access to the skin between my head and collar. Matt trailed kisses down me until he reached the top button of my shirt where he waited for permission to undo, and, upon receiving it, continued to open my shirt and continued to press his lips down my stomach and just above the waistband of my pants. Then, when I felt myself about to cry from the sheer intensity of the delicious pressure pooling in the base of my belly, he stopped and gave me the full kiss on the lips I had wanted earlier. Somehow, now, it didn't seem like enough.
I felt the tension languidly flowing down, in between my legs, and found myself responding in ways I had only ever responded in my dreams. Although I had been expecting this at some point, it still caught me by surprise. I realized both boys were expecting something from me, so I shook myself out of my daze and practiced on Mello. Copying Matt, I kissed just to the left of each of his pulse points; when he tried to wriggle closer, I withdrew. By the time I started over, but to the right of each, he actually moaned, deep and needy, a sound I rewarded with a hard suck to the inside of his wrist. Mello squirmed and I looked back up to Matt for help.
He seemed extremely absorbed in the show, a finger had slipped up to his lips thoughtfully and his eyes were only half-open and somewhat glazed-looking.
"Matt?" I asked, and he snapped back to attention.
"Now kiss him." He ordered, and it sounded more like a request than an instruction, but I leaned in and let the memory of Mello's lips refresh itself. It amazed me how Mello's lips could feel so soft and hard at the same time; pliant flesh, insistent pressure, and he slipped his tongue in my mouth. At first, it just felt strange, the hot, wet, feel of the foreign object in my mouth and then it moved and started seeking out and stroking soft places in my mouth. A hand ran up and down my back, and I opened my eyes enough to register that Mello's hands were still clutching the covers and headboard respectively, before I felt the heat of Matt's hands slipping under my shirt to stroke my skin. I felt a shift in intention, and suddenly, he wasn't stroking, but exploring, and his hands seemed to be claiming my skin, inch by inch, as his breath tickled over the nape of my neck, ruffling my white hair into Mello's face. It was all I could do with the wonderful feeling of Mello beneath me to keep track of where Matt moved. He crawled to us predatorily, and adjusted himself to a place next to us where he could continue feeling both my unfamiliar body and Mello's familiar one. Mello pulled away from my lips and looked up at me, wide eyed and flushed. It occurred to me that I must look the same way, and I had an irrational urge to run to a mirror and see how I looked with color painting my cheeks, but Mello turned his head into Matt and kissed him instead, leaving me to continue my earlier kisses to his neck. I licked his chest as I had seen Matt do earlier, curious, and it was strange how the salty taste of his sweat seemed almost electric with promise.
I shifted over Mello to do it again, but I accidentally slipped my knee up too far between his legs and he moaned and ground into my knee twice before he flipped me over with blinding speed, somehow having maneuvered us so that he was straddling me while Matt continued his ministrations from the side. Mello began grinding into me deliberately, and each movement made me see white and pulled a gasp from my throat that sounded very unlike me. Mello's voice came drifting through the haze of arousal and I made out some words:
"I…I like…the emotions…you show for…for me. Only for me…God, Near!" I could read the possessiveness in his words, and I didn't care, so long as he kept moving like that above me, he could have all the emotions I was capable of projecting for him. A drop of sweat splashed against my skin and I reached my tongue out to taste it. Another drop, and by the time it landed on my face, it was Matt who was moving above me, ignoring the complaints of Mello from the floor where he'd pushed him. Mello's aggression came from his need and impatience. With Matt, each movement seemed calculated to make the sensations under my skin burn stronger, sending me happily into submission. And those eyes…
Mello shoved Matt back off, and my arms reached out to them, needing more contact, happy to catch either, but ecstatic when my arms drew in both. Each took a different side of my neck, licking and sucking and taking what little intellect I had away from controlling my arms and I went limp underneath them, drowning in sensation.
"M-m-mmm…" I heard a satisfied noise and realized it was me. I didn't know whose name I had been trying to say, but whether it was "Matt" or "Mello", or just "mine", just "mmm" seemed to sum it all up. Then Matt moved lower and Mello higher, and I indulged in the chocolaty taste of Mello while Matt tasted his way down my chest and stomach, kneading at the soft flesh of my body with his teeth, tongue and lips. I felt soft and vulnerable between their hard bodies and insistent tongues, and I pulled back from Mello to say it was too much, that surely I would die under this agonizing tension, but instead what came out was,
"More! Please…more…" and I wondered if I was a masochist for wanting more of this feeling like I was a string instrument, pulled almost to breaking point so music could be plucked from me. Matt's slender fingers slipped under my waistband, and I shied from the contact, but I had asked for this so he pulled my pants off with one hard yank, leaving me completely undressed, Mello half dressed, and Matt fully dressed. I felt at a distinct disadvantage and started shrugging his shirt off, working the buttons when they got in the way and simply pulling the rest off. Matt grinned up at me before descending, and then I was lost in bliss, as he enclosed me in the tight, hot, warmth of his mouth. More…I wanted more…but I was paralyzed under the swirling of his tongue, and only returned to my limbs enough to thrash wildly when he scraped lightly with his teeth.
Matt ducked my limbs and scowled up at me.
"We can't have you kicking like that…" Suddenly, he pinned my hands over my head, and used my discarded shirt to tie them to the headboard. I wriggled, a little nervously, and he licked my throat and dragged his tongue all the way down, until just before my navel, he withdrew and repeated the process to my feet, tying them with his own shirt. He looked over at me critically and then smiled.
"Look what we have here, Mello…now what could we possibly do with that?" Mello looked at me, spread eagled, naked, and tied to his bed.
"I'm sure we can think of something…"
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
I waited for some sort of rationality to return to me so I could feel the fear, or anxiety such words should have produced. Instead, as their lips returned to me, I felt electricity connecting them and jolting through my body on its way. The feeling made me twitch and jerk against their touch, and when Mello pulled back from my mouth to start running his hands up and down my body almost reverently, I couldn't find it in me to shy away. In fact, when Matt removed his mouth and left me suddenly exposed and cold, I whined, and strained my hips up in his direction, hoping to regain some of the friction his mouth had given me. The action was almost completely involuntary, and it shocked me.
I was so used to being master of my emotions, not the other way around. I always had such tight control, I wondered if I had feelings at all, but now they were making me twitch and jerk against my restraints in a desperate attempt to feel more. Another whine escaped my throat, and I should have been ashamed at the childish, begging quality of it, but I was busy catching my breath at the throaty note in Mello's voice when he commented,
"Near, you've been holding out on us. You're so quiet in class, I didn't know you were so vocal." On vocal, he climbed back over me, using his arms to keep his full weight from crushing me, but still he was pressed against me from the stomach down. I used his presence to my full advantage and wiggled against him shamelessly to restore some of the warmth Matt's mouth had given. Mello's entire body seized up and he clenched his jaw, whispering into my ear, "Jesus, Near, you don't know what you do to me." Only then, I registered what was pressing against my thigh, and I blushed again, but couldn't quite make myself pull back.
I licked my lips, and prepared to say something. I needed to ask him something. It was important. I just couldn't remember what it was.
"Mello…Why-" are you doing this? Why am I doing this? What's happening? Is it true what Matt said? Do you want me? This feeling…do I want you too? "…why are you still wearing so many clothes?" Both of them blinked at me and looked shocked for a moment before Matt laughed out loud and said,
"Guess it's a little more than a lesson little Neary wants."
If this was still a lesson, it was certainly like no other course I'd ever taken.
"Are you sure this is what you want, Near?" To my great disappointment, both of them pulled back completely, and the air against my skin seemed cooler and less suffocating. I allowed some of the fog around my head to dispel before I nodded. Matt grinned.
"Do you know what a prostate gland is, Near?"
"Of course. It's the organ in which the alkaline fluid that makes up a portion of semen is secreted." Was this really the time to quiz me? I wanted them to touch me some more, but I was embarrassed to ask. Almost casually, Matt put a finger into Mello's mouth, which worked over it for a while before releasing it with a wet popping sound. I remembered where those hands had been on me and wondered if Mello could taste me on Matt. I twitched a little at the thought. Suddenly, Matt was between my legs again, this time considering me almost thoughtfully before he shoved his finger into me.
My thoughts jerked from the faint embarrassment at my exposure to the strange and uncomfortable feeling of the intruding finger. It didn't feel right, and instinctively I tensed, only making it feel even more painful. I looked up to protest, but the green eyes bored into me, powerful and dominant, so I bit my lip and swallowed my complaint.
"How does that feel?" He asked, wiggling the tip a little. I winced.
"Uncomfortable. A little painful." He nodded, as if that was to be expected. I felt myself drooping a little. I had agreed to stay because I anticipated more of those wonderful feelings, but I was only feeling slightly pained and more than slightly humiliated.
"Now how does this feel?" I looked up curiously, because he hadn't changed anything, so obviously, it would feel the same, but his fingers moved deliberately and pushed against something that seemed to bring back all the pleasure from before and escalated it exponentially with each movement. As I loosened up, his finger slid in and out more easily, and I started moving back against his hand, because, despite my newfound capacity to even feel that much, I couldn't help but want more. Suddenly the finger stopped and I realized he was still waiting for my answer.
"G-good." I managed to let out before biting my lip to hold back in any more undignified sounds. Mello reappeared to pull my lip from my teeth with his own teeth, grating painfully against what I was sure would be a bruise on my lip from before.
"How do you expect to learn anything if you won't even let yourself go?" Mello asked, seeming genuinely shocked that I wouldn't lose myself in the sensations like he had before.
"Hush, Mello. That is your prostate, Near. Do you like it?" I nodded. "Let me hear how much."
"I…like it- unnh…" My voice drifted off into more of those incomprehensible sounds as I realized Mello was no longer wearing anything. Between the three of us, the only clothing was Mello's rosary and Matt's pants and Mello's rosary didn't cover much. Surely it wasn't normal to bask in the expanses of skin that hovered over me so tantalizingly. I squirmed against my restraints, wanting to touch. "…a lot." His free hand fluttered over my skin.
"You're so pale, Near." With that, I felt a little of my self-consciousness coming back, though it was a bit late to feel awkward when I was already naked and tied down with another boy's finger in me. Still, I downcast my eyes to avoid looking into Matt's face. "Don't be embarrassed, I like it." Matt's presence seemed to grow, and again he was the unfamiliar dominating presence from when I'd walked under the room. I wondered if I looked how Mello had when I'd first seen him, flushed and undone. It was with that thought that I processed another finger pushing in next to the first, and where one had been uncomfortable, two was agony. Pain jolted up my spine, and I felt myself moving away from the touch. Even the continuing stroking inside didn't overwhelm the pain. It was like having a headache and drinking a milkshake; neither diminished the other, and pain and pleasure mixed, creating a muddy blend I wasn't sure I could enjoy.
"Mello, he's a lot tighter than you, love, I don't think this is gonna work like this." I scrunched my face in agreement. "Get the box." Mello vanished from view and reappeared with a shoebox. When he opened it, I could see the tops of bottles, but not any of the labels. Mello pulled one out and showed me. Chocolate flavored lubricant. I blushed at the mere existence of the product in such close proximity to me. Mello took Matt's place between my legs, and I eyed his fingers uncertainly, hoping they were more slender than Matt's, but they looked about the same. Suddenly, he put a blob of the substance on his tongue, and ducked down to push it into me. I had a moment to process and acknowledge that, yes, that was Mello's tongue pushing into me, before the dirtyness of the action hit me and I gasped.
"Mello!" It was meant as an admonishment, but besides the lasting ache, the feeling was nice, and it came out as enough of a sound of pleasure to encourage him to thrust in deeper. It was a different feeling from when Matt had touched me. The feeling wasn't so deep, or so intrusive. I felt like I had lost and gained something. Also, the muscle itself felt strange, hot and wet and it moved differently than fingers which were limited to three joints to move with. And of course, there was the understanding that it was Mello's tongue down there, the fact that his mouth was tasting me in such a personal place. He established a rhythm of movement, gently so it almost felt like his tongue pulsed inside me. When a finger joined the tongue, I winced, but didn't complain. Actually, that made it so there was a little bit of both feelings; the depth without the same level of intrusion.
Matt sat beside us, with the absent glazed look again. Was it possible that having such a depth of experience meant that without renewed stimulation one's mind would wander as his did? But no, his attention was fixed solely on us; he was truly so absorbed in the process of Mello tonguing me that he had frozen. The attention made me squirm.
"Matt, will you…?" He snapped back to attention, seeming a little less intimidating when the power of his presence was diminished by his blush and the almost guilty look he gave at being caught staring. Still, I couldn't find it in me to ask. He seemed to understand, though, and bent over, kissing me very softly and chastely, in a way that didn't belong at all with the situation, or the other mouth on me. Mello's mouth vibrated as he growled a little and Matt smiled against my lips. It was such a primal sound, I instantly recognized the territorial claim in it. The recognition, of course, did nothing for my embarrassment. I realized I was pushing towards Mello, forcing his face and tongue to burrow in further, but even my shame couldn't quite convince me to stop. To my surprise, Mello didn't seem particularly discomfited by the situation either, and as his tongue continued to work at me, another finger slipped in. I couldn't feel the difference much, this time. It felt more like it was filling a space that had already opened up rather than forcing its way somewhere it didn't fit. I somehow found it within myself to relax into the finger, though it went against my instincts, and the sharp pain faded almost completely, leaving only the dull ache from before.
By the time the third finger had joined Mello's tongue, the pain was beginning to return, but I felt I had it under control in a way I hadn't before. Suddenly, Mello pulled free, leaving me feeling strangely empty and exposed, with the air touching places it had never been able to reach before. Matt also released my lips, and I waited uneasily for something- anything- to happen. Seeing my nervous expression, Mello slid up my body, very deliberately rubbing himself against me on the way, and kissed me. Leaning over me, he looked into my eyes and asked in a very level voice that only quavered once,
"Near, I'm going to put it in. Are you ready for that?" No. No. No.
"Y-yes." Mello smiled then, something completely unlike the smirks he usually shot me, the cruel laughter at my expense, or even the aroused and abandoned look of pleasure on his face when I walked in. I forgot, for a second, where I was and caught my breath looking at the strange expression that fit his face oddly well. Then he was pushing into me and I lost the feeling of anything but that. As far as I had been stretched, this stretched farther, until I thought my skin would surely break, exposing muscle to complete my vulnerable state. My spine felt compressed in a way I couldn't ease by moving or staying still. It felt-
"Fuuuck." It seemed to sum up my condition nicely, but Mello actually stopped in surprise.
"Did you just curse?" Was that really an issue here? I gritted my teeth against the pain and through them, growled,
"Mello is naked on top of me- also naked- doing extremely inappropriate things and he wishes to know where I picked up a non-innocent word? Mello, make it feel good again." The smile reasserted itself, as did the movement and the pain. This time, I consciously focused on the smile, trying to block out everything else, and after a while, the movement was bearable, even pleasant, if only from the friction of it. I needed touch. Matt's hand quickly provided that, and I found myself shrinking under the attention a little.
People acknowledged my talents; there was incontrovertible proof that I was brilliant, but I was never admired in the way I felt admired by the worship on the two boy's faces moving above me. Matt was not being directly stimulated, and yet the pleasure on his face as he looked intently down on my face…it was as bright as the smile Mello had seemingly produced out of nowhere for me.
"Try this, Near." I looked up in time to see the moment end as Matt positioned himself facing Mello above me and thrust his hips into my face. He wanted me…to put it in my mouth. I looked at it doubtfully. The volume of my mouth relative to the- and then it was in my mouth and I didn't have to worry if it would fit, because it definitely didn't, and it was pushing at my throat, which struggled to expand as the rest of me had earlier. When he pulled back, I choked, and tried to rub my throat, resenting, for the first time, the bonds on my hands.
"Too much!" I squeaked with the first breath of air I was able to gasp, and Matt frowned down at me. He presented himself again, but made a show of holding back, allowing me my own pace. I stuck out my tongue tentatively and licked the head, which sent a shudder down his spine. A similar shudder went through me as Mello thrust particularly deep. I closed my lips around him carefully, and moved a little, judging his face to see what had positive results. With only about half in my mouth, I could still allow myself a little freedom of movement and I continued licking inside of my mouth while I moved up and down with my lips. My inability to swallow without taking more in caused a buildup of saliva to mix with the moisture gathering on Matt and it all contributed to a slurping noise that accompanied every movement I made. The noise added yet another level of lewdness to it all, which I enjoyed more than I should have. A thin stream ran down my chin and Matt's eyes fixated on the droplet on my collarbone. Suddenly, Matt pulled away and I wondered what I'd done wrong. Surely he hadn't expected perfection on what was obviously my first time.
"Near, I'm going to fuck your face until you gag if we continue. Unless you want that, I'm going to give you a break until next time, okay?" I nodded my head, before I understood what he was saying. Next time? I had just agreed to a next time? To more of this? I tried hard to resent it, but my movement pushed Mello in deeper and instead I had to focus on not thrashing any limbs around and embarrassing myself with further reminder of the restraints. Matt rose from practically sitting on my face to kneeling with his legs on either side of me, and Mello took him into his mouth, still pushing into me. Mello's lips quickly grew wet with the moisture I had left there, and I watched fascinated, as Matt pushed more into him than I judged the depth of his mouth to be. I noticed the repetitive swallowing motions and understood, but wondered at the discipline not gagging must take. Yes, I would need to practice for…next time. For now, I allowed myself to follow the droplets of saliva and semen that dripped down to me, the sounds of muffled moans from Mello and controlled grunts from Matt, the push and pull of Mello inside of me that was a pleasure so deep and powerful it felt almost like an ache, the curve of Mello's lips around Matt and the straightness of Matt's spine which drew a clear line between Mello and me. For a moment, I felt more connected to the two people I usually viewed almost warily than I ever had felt to anyone or anything before. Then it all exploded into color and light, and I felt my insides…pulse…before the tension vanished in a blissful release. Matt's erection slid out of Mello's mouth with a pop so Mello wouldn't bite him as he shuddered and found his own bliss inside of me, shooting odd warmth that penetrated deeper than Mello had gone, though it didn't hurt, and actually felt soothing in the warmth it spread. Mello collapsed on top of me, and I couldn't resent the weight, or even the feeling that he was melting into me with the semen and sweat that seemed to stick us together.
Matt made an irritated noise, and Mello rolled off of me, looking so languid and relaxed I wondered how Matt expected him to continue. Then Matt pushed Mello farther into the mattress with a hand on his chest and pushed into him roughly, only lasting a few thrusts before he too, tumbled over the edge and left trails of goop dripping out of Mello. The roughness startled me, but Mello was obviously much more used to it than I, and seemed to accommodate being taken so harshly fairly easily. Actually, the satisfied smile he shot up at Matt suggested it was more than an accommodation, it was something he took pleasure in.
I drifted off to sleep with that smile, registering faintly the press of lips on my stomach- I didn't know whose- while hands untied my arms and legs and arranged them around me.
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Waking up was a surreal experience. It took a glance at the clock to realize it was not actually morning, but later in the evening, and I sat up in the unfamiliar room, surrounded by sheets that smelled like other people, and none of the actual other people. Some soreness accompanied the movement, and I was grateful to find a small cup of water and some ibuprofen on the nightstand. I walked into the bathroom attached to the room, to see if anyone was there, and I saw my soap and shampoo lined neatly up on the edge of a drawn bath. I got in and allowed myself to relax into the warmth. Tired muscles were a feeling I was unfamiliar with, considering I rarely participated in sports, and when I did exert myself physically, it was the bare minimum to ensure none of my muscles began to atrophy. The water felt absolutely wonderful, and it was only when I sunk in deeper to dunk my hair that the water stung a small cut I had on my upper neck- Matt's teeth? Mello's nails?- that I realized someone had added Epsom salt to my bath. When I had soaked and scrubbed until I felt both clean and relaxed, I stepped out of the cooling water to use the fluffy towel laid out for me. I set the bathwater to drain, and started methodically drying off. Walking back into the room, and resigning myself to locating and wearing the dirty clothes from before, I was surprised to find them missing, and a new set of my pajamas hanging from the doorknob. The entire experience was taking on the somewhat scripted feeling of a dream, where each action I should take was known, without direct instruction. Indeed, the moment I was dressed, the alarm clock buzzed, and I realized it was time for dinner.
Going from the utter silence and order of the bedroom to the noise and chaos of the cafeteria was not a pleasant experience, but it was a familiar discomfort, as it was one I suffered through nearly every morning. I picked up a tray of whatever was closest, and sat down at the empty corner table I usually occupied, occasionally with the company of whatever unfortunate student suffered public humiliation and subsequent ostracizing. I started eating, noting with slight disappointment that the food I had selected was some sort of oriental style noodles with not enough flavor and too many sesame seeds sprinkled over the top. Almost everyone in the cafeteria had noticed the poor quality of the food and selected, instead, the more traditional mashed potatoes, green beans, and chicken filets. Suddenly, the two seats on either side of me were occupied. Everyone in the room quieted briefly as they waited to see what new humiliation Mello and Matt were planning to inflict on me.
"Hey, Near, that looks gross, you want to trade?" Asked Mello, appearing not to notice the attention.
"Yes. Why would Mello wish to have this?" He shrugged.
"So you don't have to." I did not understand why Mello would want to do something so selfless, but I did not complain when he switched our trays. The room held its breath, waiting to see if I would collapse from poison, or start coughing from pepper in the food, but the spoonful of mashed potatoes I ate only tasted like mashed potatoes. Meanwhile, Mello was making faces of unconcealed horror at the limp noodles he seemed to enjoy stabbing with his fork more than eating.
"How are you?" Asked Matt, who seemed strangely harmless with his goggles and clothing firmly in place. I assumed he was inquiring after my physical state, and shifted slightly with the reminder of the ache in my lower back.
"Fine, thank you."
"That's good." They chatted back and forth over me with the ease of conversation that had been revisited many times before. They seemed to have established the ability to take turns talking, and yet be speaking about completely different subjects, almost as if the other was not there.
"I dunno. Zelda used to be the classic example of RPG, but with the development of that kind of technology, it would allow an entirely different user type to crossover into the genre."
"Yeah, I've always felt like robbing banks is the standard of criminal ability, but when you think about it, its really more impressive when a group is able to maintain notoriety and even be in the public eye, but still remain."
"Obviously, more fans means more games released, and that'd be good, but I wouldn't want them to try too hard to appeal to that audience and end up with something different."
"Well, it's really more of a matter of size for a lot of gangs, but things like the Sicilian mafia have flaunted their existence for ages, and authorities can't seem to do shit about stopping them."
"That's because you're a drama queen. Almost all of my favorite games are under contract to finish the series, at least, but there's a couple that might not make it. And of course, the new games might follow either the old or new method, so there's not much I can expect at this point."
"Interest in showmanship is perfectly healthy. If I win, I want people to notice. And cantcha just hack in and see what's going on up there?"
"Even at the expense of greater victories? And I have, so this conversation is one that no one else will be having for at least two years, but it hasn't been resolved yet, even there."
"What do you think?" To my horror, they were both waiting for me to contribute to the conversation, but I didn't even know which conversation they were referring to.
"About what?" Mello rolled his eyes, and Matt laughed, and then they continued speaking to each other. When I was finished eating, they both followed me to the trash can to dispose of the trays, although they had not eaten everything provided for them.
"Where to now?" Asked Mello. I looked at him. Were we expected to continue spending time together? Was all of this a consequence of the…lesson earlier?
"I was going to my room." I informed them, cautiously. It could be taken as an invitation, or not.
"Cool, let's go."
Out of the four people in my room, I felt the least comfortable. Matt was sprawled on the floor playing a game, Mello was leaning against my bed, sketching something, and Oliver was curled up on his bed. Actually, he seemed to be hyperventilating slightly. Perhaps he was the least comfortable. I looked up from my puzzle.
"Are you well, Oliver?"
"H-huh? Yeah, I'm ok-okay. I'm gonna g-g-g-g-g-go I thuh-think." He fled the room, clearly terrified of Mello. I looked at the two on my floor. When they had followed me to my room, I had expected some sort of continuation of what we had done earlier, but the two seemed content to simply occupy themselves as they usually did. I followed their example, and continued putting pieces into place. Almost twenty minutes later, the theme song playing from Matt's game felt like a natural part of my room, and my puzzle was almost complete. Almost. I was only missing one piece. I started moving my blankets, checking methodically around the room for the missing piece.
"Looking for this?" Asked Mello, with the type of smile that usually accompanied some nefarious plot for my downfall. In his fingers dangled the puzzle piece.
"Yes." I reached out to take it, but he snatched it back before I could.
"What do I get for my good deed?" Matt snorted.
"Its not a good deed if you stole it in the first place." Mello ignored him.
"I want a kiss." I looked at Mello and then back at the puzzle. The empty spot seemed to grow, and occupy all of my attention. Incomplete. The puzzle was incomplete. I looked back at Mello.
"All right." I leaned forward slightly, but I was still a foot or so away from Mello when the door opened.
"Oh, sorry, I should have knocked. I was worried for you, Near. I heard Mello and Matt were here?" Roger seemed shocked to have burst in on a friendly scene, rather than my torment. Had he waited a moment longer, he would have been met with an even friendlier scene, and a smirk flashed across my face at the thought.
"'Sup?" asked Matt from the floor. He made an odd wave in which he didn't let go of his game with either of his hands. "So now that you see we haven't killed him, can we be left alone?"
"I was just helping him with a puzzle." Mello announced, innocently, waving the puzzle piece in his hand. He pressed it into place. "All done!"
"All right, of course." Roger looked around, as if he might spy some sort of mass hypnosis device in the corner of my room. Unexpectedly, a genuine smile bloomed over his face. "Its good to see you making friends, Near." He left, and closed the door behind him. When I turned back, Mello was much closer than he'd been before.
"Now you owe me a kiss." I pressed my lips against his quickly, but he grabbed the back of my head and held me in place, forcing his tongue past my lips and teeth to stroke at the inside of my mouth. My tongue was beginning to feel swollen from all the attention before Matt forced him off of me. Mello looked extremely satisfied with himself.
"Near, it's not nice to exclude people." Matt admonished me, and pushed his goggles up to his forehead, sweeping his hair out of the way, and leaving his eyes completely unshielded.
"Oh?" I asked, still caught off guard by the intensity of the kiss.
"Yeah. If you don't kiss me, I'll feel left out." Mello made a squawking noise of disbelief, but Matt was already centimeters from my face, and I could feel his breath leaving moisture on my lips, a second before his lips pushed onto mine. Matt's kiss was different, more forceful, but he didn't use his tongue, or even open either of our mouths. Instead, the hand at my back played with the bottom of my shirt before slipping under and starting to slide up my back. When Mello yanked him off, scowling, his hand popped off two of my buttons on its way out and made a small scratch on my side. I breathed in sharply at the scratch, and lifted my shirt to see the damage. It was shallow, but a few droplets of blood had already collected at the surface. I pulled the first aid kit out from under my bed, but Matt pulled it from my hands and carefully disinfected and applied a bandaid to it. "I'm sorry."
"It was not Matt's fault." Directly.
"I'm sorry too." I nodded to accept Mello's apology as well. It did raise pertinent questions, though.
"Why are you two acting this way?"
"Acting how?" Mello looked up from where he had been about to kiss my bandaged cut. As of yesterday, that would not have been a position I would ever expect to see Mello in. I raised my eyebrows and waved a hand to encompass the entire day. Matt rolled his eyes too.
"We both like you." He smirked. "A lot. And as of today, there's a very large chance that you like one of us too. So we really shouldn't hide our feelings if we each want to be that lucky one." My confusion only deepened.
"What lucky one?" Matt rolled his eyes.
"The one you like. The one you pick to, you know, have and to hold."
"Are we speaking of marriage now?"
"Just thought the phrase fit."
"You two are considering yourselves in competition for my affections?"
"Oh. What if I do not wish to pursue anything with either of you?" Both of them froze. Was it really so unbelievable that I would not?
"Well, you came to my room…"
"He came to my room too!"
"All right, you came to our room…you had sex with us…"
"Yes, however, in coming, my intention was not to have sex. I simply had questions regarding the lesson, and events progressed from that point." Neither of them said anything. "It would be presumptuous to assume I'm looking for a relationship with anyone at all based solely on that." Clearly, it was being left up to me to be rational. "What did you two do after I fell asleep?" Matt recovered more quickly.
"Uh, slept a little, then took a shower."
"Did anything transpire during that shower?" Matt looked down at the bedspread, so a blushing Mello answered.
"How was it?" each mumbled something along the lines of 'good', though their answers weren't very intelligible.
"Matt, what would you do if I chose Mello?" He looked upset by the question.
"Mello, what would you do if I chose Matt?" Mello's victorious look faded into dismay.
"So I'd have neither of you? That would be fucked up."
"Each of you admits that asking me to choose would result in one of you being disappointed. And would it not be disappointing regardless for you two to be unable to be intimate with each other?"
"May I make a request?" They both nodded. "Kiss." They looked at me and at each other before Matt moved in to kiss Mello. Although each of them kissing me was enjoyable, watching them was a fascinating experience, as each of them had personal skill with the other. They kissed softly, at first, and pulled back, but the eye contact they had with each other seemed to pull them back in for another, and another, until they remained connected by their mouths. Matt pulled back only enough that I could clearly see him sucking on Mello's lip, and chewing very softly over the flesh, and Mello arched back, so it seemed natural when Matt's hand caught the curve of his back. Mello looped his arms around Matt in return, and they seemed to lose themselves in the actions for a while. When Matt's shirt was gone, and his arm was completely enveloped in Mello's shirt, I shuffled over on the bed and carefully pushed my hand into Mello's shirt as well, holding Matt's hand over Mello's chest.
"You are being illogical. I choose both of you."
They both turned towards me, and I only realized how much passion each had directed towards the other when it was directed towards me. The twin gazes were somewhat overwhelming, and I felt some of my confidence dissipate. All of it, actually. Matt grinned.
"I hope you're ready for both of us. 'Cause if that's what you want, that's what you're going to get." Both of them swooped in on me, pinning me back against my bed.