Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Still on my oneshot rampage, I see. But you guys love it. I think this is pretty cute. I'm really tired though, so there might be a re-upload if I see some mistakes later. Review, will ya?
From Her Perspective
It took me forever to realize that I was in love with you, did you know that?
I did not suddenly want you, as you so often claim. It wasn't like I just woke up one day as said, "Gee, I think I like Vegeta." It wasn't like that. Well…it certainly hit me that hard and that suddenly, but that's just when I realized it, not when it happened.
No, I fell in love with you slowly but surely, so slowly, in fact, that I didn't even notice. I couldn't begin to tell you when I started finding our arguments exciting and fun, couldn't tell you when I started changing my daily routine just so I could cross paths with you. Maybe you noticed when I started working outside by the GR a lot more often, or when I started taking the hallway closest to the shower you always use, even though it was probably one of the longest ways to get to my room. I was like a school girl that had memorized her crush's class schedule; I found myself knowing exactly where you would be at what time, at any moment of the day. You've always been a creature of habit, Vegeta.
Maybe you noticed when I started getting up earlier, just so I could see you in the kitchen. I remember you used to look at me so oddly, as if I'd grown two heads. I realized it was because you knew my schedules too; you knew I hated mornings with a passion. It's a wonder you didn't question me. I know how curious you can be sometimes.
My earliest recollection of being near you with butterflies in my stomach was that day the GR exploded. I think I might have liked you already then. It really scared me, you know? Cause I thought you were dead and all. But nope. You, you tough jerk, had the nerve to come out of that rubble and act like everything was okay. But your knees buckled, and I saw that flash of pain across your features, and you fell.
That was the first thing I admired about you. Your resolve, I mean. You knew what you wanted and you went after it, literally, and for whatever screwed up reason, I found…find…that attractive. That's not to say I don't wish you'd lighten up sometimes, but it is kind of cute (yeah, I know, you hate that word) how serious you are. Determination was always something I had prided myself on, so it surprised me at first for you do be just as, if not more than, determined as me. But maybe I should have expected that. I saw it on Namek.
I was really sad when I saw you on TV, you know? When I was younger I had this little girl fantasy that all the handsome guys had to be good. Ugliness was something that came with evil. That, as I've come to find out, isn't really true, but I guess I learned that from Zarbon, not you, since he's dead and all. (Frieza and that Ginyu guy don't count, by the way.) Anyway, I was sad because you killed my boyfriend, so I was supposed to hate you. I have a hard time hating good looking things, as I assume you guessed. I remember seeing you and thinking, crap, the lead antagonist is just as hot as Yamcha is.
Don't make that face. I was still head over heels for him then.
Is it weird to say that I wasn't really focused on hating you, even after all you'd done to mess up my life? Seriously, I had a whole year's worth of nights to stay awake thinking about wanting to watch you burn, but what was I doing? Well…worrying about my friends, for one, and for two, I was thinking about the trip we were trying to plan to go to Namek. Would you believe that at some point, I wondered if we would see you again? No, that's not right. I was wondering if I would ever see you again. Imagine my self-disgust when I realized that I wanted to ask you your name.
Don't make that face, either. You were still the bad guy. I was supposed to hate you. I try to tell myself I didn't because I was just too busy. I think maybe that's a lie.
Anyway, Krillin told me your name was Vegeta. I thought that was really exotic, you know. Despite having a boyfriend with the name Yamcha, I didn't often meet a man with a name that ended in A. I think that maybe if you weren't the person that had killed all my friends, I might've decided that I liked it. I sure like it now, but you know that.
What were you doing with an oaf like that bald guy anyway? I could see that look on your face through that crystal ball of Baba's. Before you get curious, you don't want to meet her. Horrid woman. Anyway, yes, I saw that look on your face. I saw that cold, calculating expression. I knew you were a tactician. What else could you be? You were the leader, and it was clearly for a reason other than just your title of Prince. Nappa didn't have that look on his face. He just wanted to break things. I watched you sit by and smirk, watched your eyes flash as you caught all the mistakes he made. You were too smart for him, Vegeta.
It really made my heart sink when you started to fight Goku. If you fight Goku, that labels you as the enemy. When he looked at you, so angrily and determined, I knew the gig was up. There was no going back after this. You were a serious, deadly threat to the world.
I saw the look on your face then, too. You were so excited. Finally, it was your turn to fight. Finally, you would get to school somebody. You would be able to expel some of the hatred that was building up inside of you and take it out on somebody else.
I only just figured that last one out later. That fact, mixed with your natural love of battle, made you one tough cookie to beat.
I bet that thought makes you smirk.
You really scared the crap out of me on Namek, you know. That memory makes me laugh, because I remember I was rooting for Zarbon first. I had forgotten about that time when I thought you were handsome. I won't lie, I thought Zarbon was kind of hot…until he changed, that is. After that, I wanted you to kill him with fire (that's the funny part, if you hadn't guessed). I wasn't expecting you to stick your arm through his chest, though. Right then, it hit me…again. You were dangerous.
I wasn't supposed to like you. Really, I wasn't. But you made me curious, Vegeta. Sometimes I wish I could smack you for that.
You know what else I want to smack you for? Wrecking my yard with your crappy landing. Not to mention stealing my spaceship in the first place. You could have just asked, you know. I would have given it to you. And jeez, Vegeta, didn't you ever bath without someone telling you to?
By the way, I don't care what you think, that pink shirt this was hilarious. You know what else was hilarious? The fact that I got you to shut up with barbecue sauce. Still to this day, that makes me smile. I guess Mom was right about one thing, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That definitely goes for Saiyans, anyway.
Come on now. You know that was funny.
Did you know I had a dream about you, the very night before you came back? Seriously. I dreamt you came home, and get this, you weren't being a jerk to me. Then I woke up, and hours later, there you were. I suppose I should have taken that as a sign. After all, you were an amazing kisser in the dream too (wink).
You're cute when you blush.
Yamcha was really angry about that. He wanted to know why I was dreaming about you when I should have been dreaming about him. I bet you're smirking at that, too. Don't get all cocky, Vegeta, your ego is big enough. Besides, that wasn't the point I was trying to make. The point was that you'd already been slipping into my mind. Right after Namek, you started pawing your way into my head. I bet you're proud of yourself.
Did I mention how smart you can be? You know, when you aren't being a total idiot? Honestly, you think of things that nobody else does. It still irks me that you were more logical than I was that day we came back to Earth. It irked you too, I think. You didn't want to help us "sorry humans", did you? But you did, and I don't think I ever thanked you properly for that.
I was kind of worried that you wouldn't like it here. But I guess it turned out okay. You're still here, aren't you?
But again, that has nothing to do with my point.
Butterflies, back to the butterflies. You know about those, don't you? Not the bugs, silly. That feeling, the one you get in the pit of your stomach when you're around that one special person. I hadn't had butterflies for Yamcha in a long time. That's what scared me. I had grown unaccustomed to the feeling, and you, the supposed bad guy, brought them back. Do you know how scary that was for me? I didn't really get a chance to think about it until you were up and about again, but it was terrifying, nonetheless. Why did you invoke those feelings in me?
I think that was when I realized that I must have been falling out of love with Yamcha. I started noticing the changes little by little; instead of him, you were the first thing I thought of in the morning, and the last thing I thought of when I went to sleep. Mushy, isn't it? I know you hate mush. Why you got together with a hopeless romantic like me is puzzling.
As I said, it was the GR incident that really kicked all this into motion. Don't you think that was the first time we bonded? Even though you still had that tough guy act on, I knew that was just because of your pride. I knew you were unused to being in the arms of a comforting woman. Something tells me you had to watch your back a lot of Frieza's ship. I get it. It's not rocket science. You have trust issues. It's understandable. It's expected.
And then, when you tried to get back up, when you said you had to…Gosh, Vegeta, it was like telling a child he couldn't play video games anymore. You had to pass this level, and the next level, and the one after that. It was far more serious than that, I know, but I'm just using it as an expression. If you hadn't passed out, you'd have probably killed yourself. Yet another thing I want to smack you for. Didn't you think that your life was precious?
Anyway, that was the second time I'd ever felt any tenderness towards you. The first time was when I thought you might be running out of fuel. I thought you might be stuck out in space forever. Funny how you picked an hour later to get home.
By the way, I knew you were awake when I slept by your bedside. I was really tired for some reason, but I didn't want to leave you alone. Eventually, I nodded off. When I woke up, you were pretending to sleep, but I knew you weren't. I knew you had seen me. Was that confusing for you? I can't help wondering. Maybe that was when you realized I cared about you. Maybe that's when you started to notice me.
I was really worried about that for the longest time. I mean, when I started changing my schedule the way I did, you didn't really even raise your eyebrows. I wondered if you noticed when I started appearing at the dinner table the same time you did. I wondered if you noticed me watching you train.
I guess that was kind of foolish of me. You always notice everything, Vegeta.
Remember the first time we kissed? You don't really like talking about those things, but I think about it all the time. It was really gentle, not something I expected from you. I remember I was looking for you, trying to tell you something. To be honest, I don't even remember what it was. I remember I was mumbling to myself about you stupid Saiyans being so impossible to find, and then suddenly, there you were. Remember how I crashed into you headfirst? You always found it amusing how clumsy I was. I glared at you, and you smirked at me. We stared at each other for a while, so long that our harsh looks started to soften. I remembered looking at your lips, and you looking at mine. We sort of leaned in at the same time, didn't we? It's so funny, how the gentlest kiss I'd ever experienced had come from one of the strongest men in the universe.
Were you worried you were going to break me, Vegeta?
You know what else I remember vividly? The first time we slept together. No, not that kind of sleep together. I mean, just…sleeping. When you came into my room sometime around midnight, just lay with me while I was asleep. I remember feeling extra warmth suddenly, and after a while it woke me up. I turned, and there you were, fast asleep. I smiled then, because I was just so happy. I bet you didn't know you could make me that happy, did you? Don't go calling me a baby, but I swear I was about to cry. You just coming to lay with me proved you cared. Deny it all you want, I don't care. You cared about me, and I loved that so much. I remember laying there for what seemed like hours, just watching you. Did you know your features soften sometimes when you sleep? As if I needed more reminders about how handsome you are.
Also, did you know you talk in your sleep?
I knew it would be embarrassing to you, so I never mentioned it before now. But you do. Sometimes loudly, sometimes softly. If you're having a nightmare, I kick you until you wake up, then pretend to sleep. I guess you were so preoccupied with whatever you were dreaming about, it fooled you. I have to kick you an awful lot, Vegeta. I wish you would talk to me about it.
Once, I heard you murmuring about your father. It was kind of affectionate; you really loved him, didn't you? You loved your father a lot. I wonder if you look like him. Good looks are normally factors of genetics, you know. Did your father teach you how to fight? I'll bet he did. I bet he's so proud of you, Vegeta. Not just because you survived, but because of how strong you've gotten. I bet he's just bursting with pride for you, wherever he is.
I heard you talking about me, once.
Now, before you go all crazy on me, denying that you did no such thing, let me just point out that yes, you did so. I heard you. You just murmured my name once (see, you know how to say it), and then you threw your arm around me and dragged me closer. I don't remember what I was doing awake that night, but I do remember that your arm weighs a ton. Those muscles are heavy, Vegeta. But I dealt with it, because you were warm and cozy, and I wasn't about to push you away.
I'm up again tonight, watching you sleep while I write this. You were too tired to do much else but sleep. I told you to stop pushing yourself so hard; you'll kill yourself, and I'm going to be really pissed at you if you do. I've got the lamp set on low, coating the room in a soft orange light, making your skin even darker than it is. I run my fingers through my hair as I pause to get the cramps out of my writing hand. I smile as I compare the colors of our hair, how yours is the deepest black and mine is the richest blue. How yours is wild and untamable (I love that, by the way) and how mine is calm and fixable.
Your breathing is soft, even. I smile again as you roll over so you're facing me. You never slept wildly like Goku or his boys do. When Goku was little, he'd be all over the bed like he was rolling around in grass, and normally ended up on the opposite side of the bed that he originally fell asleep in. Good thing that old capsule house had two beds, or else I'd have made him sleep on the floor. You always sleep with your body slightly curled up, like you're trying to hold onto something. I smooth your hair, pleased that you haven't had a single nightmare tonight.
I guess you're wondering why I wrote this. It was supposed to be a journal entry (I don't do diaries), and to be honest I have no idea how it turned into this super long letter to you. I don't even know if you're going to read it. I guess that's why I'm leaving it out and open on my pillow in the morning when I leave for my business trip. Even so, I don't know if you'll see it. You aren't really one to go snooping unless you suspect something, Vegeta.
I won't wake you, because I know you're tired, and I'm leaving pretty early. I'll be gone for a whole two weeks (I really hate conventions, you know that?). I'll miss you. Did you know that whenever I go on these trips, I keep finding myself looking for that wild hair of yours in the crowd? It's a habit I've yet to break. I'm not really used to not seeing you every day.
Will you miss me while I'm gone? I don't expect an answer to that out loud, but maybe you'll be thinking about me a little bit.
Try not to break anything while I'm gone, will you? That includes bones. I left out any gauze and medical things that you normally use, because God knows you won't fix yourself up unless the kits are right in front of you. Also, don't blow up my Gravity Room. That thing takes a long time to rebuild, you know.
I asked Mom to make you those blueberry pancakes in the morning; I know those are your favorite. I washed all your training clothes and left them by your bed. That book you finished has a sequel; it's on your nightstand. The number to the pizza place you like is on the fridge, in case Mom and Dad go out. Please, for the love of God, don't break the phone or the pizza guy. Just give them a five buck tip and they'll leave you alone. They know to put it all on my tab. Goku's number is on the fridge too, though I doubt you'll actually call his house if you want to spar. If you get bored even after all that - don't give me that look, I know how you are - then I left out some horror films (though I guess those are comedies to you) and Left 4 Dead. I don't know if you'll play it, but I know it's the only videogame you actually like.
I guess that's it.
I'll bet you didn't know I knew so much about you, did you? Maybe it surprised you. Maybe it didn't. Maybe you know just as much about me, and I've just got no clue. Or not, that's fine. I won't expect anything if you aren't willing to give it to me. That wouldn't be fair.
It really did take me forever to realized I love you, didn't it? Maybe after a while, I'll get lucky, and you might realize that you love me too. But you don't have to tell me. I know you hate mushy stuff. It's fine. I'll see it.
Hmm. I guess I really fell hard, huh?
Anyway, I suppose I'll stop rambling now. No point in continuing. Like I said, I don't even know if you'll read this. But, if you do, I hope you got the point of all this.
I really do love you, Vegeta.
~ Bulma, Your Woman, and whatever else you call me.
He lowered the little book, his calloused fingers running over the smooth, green back with the swirly white flowers. Something that looked suspiciously like a smile played with the corner of his lips, and after thinking for a long while, he picked up the pen that had been discarded on Bulma's dresser. At the bottom of her entry, he scrawled something in elegant lettering, and after marking the page with the green ribbon attached to the book, he closed it and set it down on the pillow where he'd found it.