Loki's Plan B
Summary: Loki hides himself in Midgard but ends up watching far too much daytime TV which leads to his ingenious Plan B. A plan so brilliant it will allow him to take his rightful place as ruler of Asgard in just 9 months. Thor/Loki
Hiding on Midgard had not been the greatest thing for Loki but it was certainly the safest. The Mischief God had managed to cloak his presence completely from any curious Aesir so long as he remained within a mile radius of the centerpoint of his spell. This meant he could travel very little and chose mainly to stay in his dingy apartment which to put it bluntly it was boring. So boring in fact his routine consisted of waking up, turning on the TV and watching hours upon hours of Jerry Springer, Jeremy Kyle, Rikki Lake and any other plebeian and mind numbing thing he could find until it was time for him to sleep once again, and as a God that meant a lot of day time TV. He didn't even leave his apartment to terrorize the mortals anymore after the unfortunate near run-in with that damn Captain America weeks ago. This whole hiding on Earth thing only worked if he stayed hidden and so he'd given up his only method of entertainment and resigned himself to a life of monotony until a day arrived when he came up with a new plan, a plan so brilliant Asgard would rightfully be his and his blundering oaf of a brother would be no more
His inspiration had struck early one evening many months into stay in the mortal realm while he was watching a rerun of Jeremy Kyle with only the light from the television lighting the room around him. On this day Loki felt particularly desperate to come up with a plan, anything that would get him off the good for nothing rock he was stuck on but all he could think of was how stupid humans were with their silly little 'My man cheated on me now he wants a DNA test for our baby' but then a segment came on titled 'My ex is using our baby to control my life' and Loki took every bad thought he'd ever had about humans back, ok maybe not, but he was quite impressed with the cunning of the woman who had come up with that plan.
Loki had done it before of course, back in the days when fierce vikings saw the visiting Aesir as their Gods Loki had tricked a stallion into 'helping' him create Sleipnir, the eight legged steed his father rode and while this may not have been his proudest moment it served a purpose as would this new union. So step one was clear, Loki had to sneak back into Asgard and seduce his dear brother. And with that Plan Baby began to come to life.