Author's Note:

This one is fairly short and fluffy. This is numero ten! One fifth of the way there! Time for a celebration! This one is an AU that is no mutant and really just from the depths of my odd mind...Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of their characters, but I do own a ton of comics by them that I thoroughly enjoy... :)

22: Caught off Guard

World renowned actor, model, and all around celebrity Remy LeBeau hoped his disguise held throughout the night. He had donned a blonde wig, shaved his scruff, and wore the most 'normal' guy outfit in his closet before heading to the biggest dive, hole-in-the-wall bar he could find.

He took a long drag of his cigarette, reveling in the way the smoke-filled his lungs. Tendrils of smoke caressed his throat before he exhaled long and slow and let them join the haze of the bar. His auburn brown, to the point of almost being red, eyes glanced lazily at his surroundings. This was a place you didn't want to see in the light of day or completely sober for that matter. A place full of people who knew nothing of the riches and glamour that he had become accustomed to and had simply come to drown their worries.

"Um...sir?" His eyes widened. Had someone recognized him? He turned his head slowly to get a glimpse of who it was over his shoulder. He immediately did a double take. She was breathtaking in her own special sort of way. Here was a girl he could see himself taking home and not instantly regretting it. Her light yellow sun dress was modest, yet fell snugly around her curves with a little bit of flair in the skirt. It made her seem dainty and simply pretty and completely out-of-place.

She cleared her throat, making him jump a little as he realized he had been staring dumbly. Bright emerald eyes filled with amusement, demure soft pink lips became a mocking smirk.

"You called?" he said as suavely as he could. His voice cracked and brown and white curls bounced against creamy shoulders that shook with silent laughter.

"My friend over there," a cleanly manicured nail directed his sight to his usual type of girl; bubbly, skanky, and with way too much makeup, "is completely smashed." He nodded, a blind man could see that with the way the blonde was swaying on her stool. "And the barman called me to come and get her before the wolves descended on her." The girl was speaking rapidly as if she just wanted to get whatever it was she needed over with. "However, I have run into a problem and she is a violently angry drunk."

"She doesn't want to go," he stated simply. Her head bobbed prettily, a smile across her face at the fact that she didn't have to spell it out for him. "How can I help chère?"

"See she doesn't want to go until she talks to you," he grimaced with distaste at the prospect, but let her press on. "But since I refuse to let her get up from that stool I told her I would talk to you for her." His eyebrow shot up in confusion.

"Isn't that what we are doing?"

"Yes and you have truly been a tremendous help." She turned to walk away before whirling around like she had forgotten something. "Oh. I am supposed to tell you that she thinks you are and I quote 'yummier than a red velvet cupcake smothered with cream cheese icing and topped with chocolate sprinkles.' Which is drunk speak for really attractive, apparently." She shook her head in exasperation.

"Do you?" Emerald green eyes locked onto almost red.

"Do I what?" A dark eyebrow raised.

"Share your friend's sentiment?" A smirk teased at her lips.

"I've seen worse." He winced slightly. "But you're not my type." She looked pointedly at the cigarette dangling forgotten between his fingers. "I don't do smokers." With that she turned to collect her friend. He raised the cigarette to his lips and pulled a long drag from it as he watched her leave, noting with unattached interest that the lovely seep of the smoke into his body was gone.

A week later he quit.


Fairly pretty, yet otherwise alarmingly average office worker Rogue was going to kill stupid and drunk Tabby. Yummier than a cupcake? Who even said that? Tabby giggled drunkenly as Rogue continued to mutter under her breath and readjusted her grip on the swaying blonde.

Rogue was having such a lovely dinner with her recently on-again boyfriend, before Logan had called. Cody had understood and she had promised to make it up to him as she ran out of the restaurant.

"Roguey, I love you sooooo much," Tabby babbled. Rogue grimaced as the blonde lost all notion of personal space and pressed her nose against the sober girl's cheek. "You smell good."

With one arm still firmly supporting her soon to be dead friend, Rogue squeezed the bridge of her nose in an effort to reign in her rapidly slipping patience. Tabby was an obnoxious drunk and a lot more stubborn than when she was sober. So Rogue had learned to just go along with her insane requests in order to get her home. But tonight's was just beyond ridiculous. Tell the hottest guy that both girls had ever laid eyes on that he was yummier than a cupcake? Rogue had simply wanted the ground to open up underneath her when she saw that sinfully attractive smirk make its way across his lips.

Then she had to tell him she didn't do smokers. She had meant that she didn't want to deal with the hassle that smoking brings in day-to-day life, not do as in do. Now he probably thought she was an absolute skank with a prejudice against smokers.

Rogue managed to wrestle Tabby into the car and into her seatbelt before slapping a bucket into her lap. She came prepared after the last time a drunk Tabby rode with her. She glared at the giggling girl. Hottest guy ever and she makes a fool of herself.

To make matters worse, Rogue couldn't shake the feeling that she had seen him before, which meant there was a possibility she would could run into him again. The butterflies that had sprung up at that thought were quickly squashed as mortification set in. What if he was one of the guys at the gym, or a coworker, or her boss' son. She racked her brain as she tried to place the ridiculously attractive guy as she drove Tabby home.

"You're so pretty Roguey. I bet that yummyful guy fell in love with you, right then and there," Tabby sighed wistfully as she continued her drunken lamenting. "You always get the guys." Rogue glanced over at the drunk, pouting blonde and rolled her green eyes when she saw her friend passed out, head lolling against the window.

The brunette sighed, knowing the blonde had a point. Not that Rogue was arrogant or anything, but even Mr. Cupcake had stuttered for a moment. A smile played at her lips. Now there was a self-esteem boost. Too bad she was already sort of taken by the guy she had been dating off and on since high school. She looked down at her phone sitting innocently in the cup holder. He had asked her to call him later after she got Tabby home. Later meant that he wanted her to invite him over to stay the night.

She reached for the phone to call him as she pulled onto Tabby's street, when a splash of color caught her eye. A billboard for a new action movie coming out starring Rem-

Something clicked in the back of her mind.

And Rogue nearly swerved into a light pole.

And 'later' was forgotten.


Two months later recent non-smoker, award-winning actor Remy LeBeau found himself in the same bar, looking for the same girl and feeling like an utter fool. This place was clearly not her scene, but he hadn't known where else to look for her. A quick glance around told him her blonde friend wasn't here either. Then his gazed locked onto the barman.

The girl had said he had called her, which meant he knew her. Remy put on the smile that had won him an Oscar and confidently approached the bar.


Two months and one day after one alarmingly pretty, but otherwise fairly average big business cubicle worker Rogue had made an absolute fool of herself in front of one of the world's most famous actor, found herself in a familiar situation.

"Rogue, please baby. Don't do this now," Cody whined. How had she not noticed how irritating his voice was when he did that. "You know I have a big presentation coming up and I don't need this right now." Or how self-centered he could be when she said no. She watched him pull off his shirt in an attempt to get her back in the mood. Green eyes twitched as his soft-looking abs came into view. He reached to unclasp her bra. She sighed wearily, this wasn't doing anything for her.

"No means no," she said as she shoved him off of her. Her creamy, long legs swung off the bed and she began to hunt for her clothes.

"What? Wait, where are you going?" Cody leapt off the bed after her as she yanked on her jeans. Now to find her sweater. She ignored Cody's pleas and whines for the most part, only acknowledging him enough to throw his shirt at him.

"You need to leave, Cody," she stated simply when she found his shoes handed them to him. "I can't do this anymore." She wandered out of the bedroom t her small apartment's living room.

"You know you don't mean that babe." Rogue looked back at him from where she was grabbing his coat from the closet. Here was the man she had been with for almost ten years of her life. Could she really leave him for someone she would without a doubt never see again. She sighed again remembering the latest Entertainment news story: Bad Boy Remy LeBeau had quit smoking. Now maybe it had been on his mind for a while, but she liked to believe she had at least some part in his decision. Would Cody give up something like that, break an addiction like that for her?

Green eyes sharpened. No. And like that it was like a weight had been lifted. "Get out," and she flung open the door.


The love-struck fool that used to be infamous for sweeping women off their feel, known as Remy LeBeau looked at the apartment number before glancing back at the slip of paper clenched in his one hand, then at the lone daffodil that shook slightly in the other. It was now or never he supposed and he raised his hand to knock. And nearly jumped a foot in the air as the door was ripped open from underneath his hand. The couple in the doorway hadn't yet noticed him; the girl too angry and the boy too dumbstruck.

"Baby, please. Let's talk about this." Remy sized up his competition as the boy whined. Logan had mentioned the on/off high school boyfriend. The barman had been surprisingly open once he realized Remy wasn't just after sex. Now he could see why, she deserved much better than this boy. Remy wasn't sure if he himself was quite up to standards, but he was certainly liked to think he was better than the guy she was kicking out.

"I believe she asked you to leave, mon ami," he said abruptly when the brunette opened her pretty mouth to say something in response to the whining. She whirled towards him, clearly ready to verbally obliterate whoever interrupted her finely worded put-down. Green eyes widened comically as recognition set in. Remy smirked down at her before refocusing his attention on the now star-struck blonde boy.

"You''re," the boy stuttered dumbly.

"Remy LeBeau. And I would appreciate it if you stayed away from my girl." Said girl was starting to resemble an adorable goldfish as she tried to think of what to say to that. The crinkle in her brow promised that it wouldn't be flattering once she found the words. He would just have to distract her. Hopefully. Preferably before she started distracting him. Like she was now. Dieu she was pretty.

"Since when," the boy's stuttering snapped him out of his open appreciation of the brunette.

"Since now. I am picking her up for our date."

"Date?" the pretty girl finally seemed to have found her voice.

"Yes, chere," Remy grabbed her elbow gently and began to steer her back into the apartment and the now ex-boyfriend, he hoped this time for good, out. He shut the door firmly behind him before fully facing the girl. Green eyes stared at him in a way that made him feel like she was seeing into his soul.


"I don't know," he shrugged, not sure of what else to say. It was the truth. They had met once and spoken only briefly, but he was crazy about her. He knew the moment she had walked away from him that he never wanted to experience it again. He had to find her if only to see what about her made him want to spend every waking moment with her.

"You stopped smoking," she stated simply, though the look in her beautiful green eyes demanded to know why.

"Because of you. Stupid and cheesy as that sounds." She sniffed back the sudden tears that filled her eyes. He internally panicked and thought of something else to say that might bring her smile back.

"And you got me flowers." He jolted as he remembered the sole, yellow flower and awkwardly thrust them towards her. A watery smile pulled at her pretty pink lips as she took it and lifted the cheerful flower to her face. She inhaled deeply, "He never got me flowers."

"Logan said they were some of your favorites," he said awkwardly after a moment. She laughed, an absolutely perfect laugh at that, running a hand through her hair as she finally looked back up at him.

"Traitor," she sighed. "I am ready for a camera crew to leap out and say this isn't real." He laughed at that, glad the tension between them was done.

"Is that a yes then," he paused," to our date, that is."

"Well it's not like average little me could turn down superstar you." Remy frowned at that. "I am joking," she chuckled as she raised up on her tiptoes. He leaned towards her unconsciously. "Yes, it's a yes." And the rest as they say is history.

Author's note:

Aw how adorable. Fluffy goodness is always good. Posting this right after a shift at work and before I go to sleep so didn't have a whole lot of time to edit, so if you notice anything be sure to point it out for me. Tomorrow I will be posting a Sakura and Akatsuki one-shot, so that is something to look forward to...maybe. Love you guys!


Guest: Thank you so much for reviewing! I wish I knew who you were, but I love you all the same! Loki is great and I feel would want to be besties with Rogue if only because they could rant about adoptive parents together!

Dark Lord of the X-men: Thanks! I am glad you liked it so much and found it humorous. Here I am posting more! Hopefully this one is as enjoyable even if it isn't as funny as the other.