Pairrings: Haldir/Maedhros, Haldir/Echtelion
Warnings: Language, crack, smut. AU (very much so!)
Summary; Middle earth is lost to the infection, and all the surviving elves are safe in Valinor. But since when have things ever really gone like you wanted them to, and how does 'happily ever after' work out for them?
AN; Yeah well so we just weren't done with this craziness. This is the sequel to Play Dead, and we strongly suggest that you read that first, otherwise this will make even less sense than it does already.
Ecthelion had never attended this mockery of a feast if not Glorfindel had literally dragged him out of his house. He hated social gatherings, it made him uncomfortable. Actually to the point of where he sounded like an inbred moron and sweaty palms. Glorfindel 'really' didn't want to go alone, and so he gave in. He had not had the chance to meet Elwing's grandsons so it was slightly off to go to one of thems wedding. Glorfindel on the other hand argued that since he had once fucked one of her brothers, it couldn't be 'that' awkward. Ecthelion didn't even want to presume how that would make sense to Glorfindel, but then again Glorfindel had had his way with roughly anyone around, he supposed that he just couldn't see what the big deal was.
Ecthelion smiled and nodded at the elves he knew, gratefully he received a welcoming drink from Fingon, which he wish he had more time to sit and play chess with, like they had done in the halls. For a long while he just stood and cradled his drink out in the side of the festivity. He still had to get used to seeing Fëanor and his sons around, it seemed to be fairly drama less though, which surprised him. He noticed the dark-haired twins at Elrond's side; they were indeed the best that gene pool had to offer. Finally he decided to go get a drink more, and hopefully something stronger, he had a feeling he would need it. He was so focused on the bar that he walked straight into an elf on his way. "Sorry." He mumbled with a little smile. He looked up at the silver haired elf who smiled in return.
"It was my fault; I was trying to find the bar." Haldir said.
"Ah," Ecthelion's smile widened, "That is over here." He pointed to his left.
Haldir had been trying to keep a smile on his face. It wasn't that he was not happy for Elrohir, he really was, and it was just another reminder that he was alone. Not really alone, he had Maedhros, but this would never be them. Maedhros was never going to be allowed loose in Valinor, and Haldir would always go home alone.
He had finally had enough of the endless displays of happiness around him and decided that it was maybe time for a drink. Something stronger than water. With a twinge, he wondered if this was how it started for his mother. Just something to ease the pain and it spiraled out of her control. He tried to push that thought away as soon as it surfaced. He was not his mother, and he was not going to turn into an alcoholic whore just because he was having a bad day.
On his way to find the bar, he ran into an elf he had not seen before. The dark hair and hazel eyes made him think he should know who this elf was, but in his current state of self-pity, he wasn't going to spend the energy to figure it out. Besides, the stranger was going to show him to the bar.
He was unaware of Caranthir watching him. Maedhros brother had been keeping a close eye on him since he was returned from the halls. Caranthir would never admit it, but he was certain that Haldir was going to do something stupid to hurt Maedhros. Ecthelion just might be that stupid thing.
From the look on Haldir's face, it seemed that the silver hair archer had no idea who Ecthelion was, but Caranthir did. The poor geek was too precious to be trusted. No one could be that awkward and still get laid that much.
Maedhros found himself living for the moments when Haldir visited, the rest of the time he would just kill time. Sometimes he would write letters, or watch stupid game shows. He would pace his cell, just to pass time. His brothers did not come to see him; they did not have the heart to do so. Caranthir wrote him on a regular basis, telling him about what he was up to, what shit their parents pulled now that they were up to their old shenanigans, he wrote about Celegorm and Curufin, how they had taken up their lives as well. He wrote about the twins who were joined at the hip with Elrond's twins, and he wrote about Haldir.
Maedhros had read his letters over and over again, knowing what the twins had offered Haldir. Caranthir had been outraged, but Maedhros understood. It was easier for him to be without, because he was without everything. Haldir was out there living his life amongst all the other elves; he was forced to look at them living their life. It had been the same which had broken Fingon in the end. Love would only carry you that far, and to wait for someone you knew would never be at your side, never able to attend any family feasts, never able to just stay home and do nothing, or wake up in the same bed. These were the things that would wear your love thin. Maedhros knew this, but Haldir was stronger wasn't he?
He had paced like a caged tiger, growing increasingly frustrated, not being able to talk to anyone about it. Just re-playing old conversations in his head. Last time Haldir had visited he had been unsettled, worried. Maedhros had asked him if he was okay, and if everything was alright. Haldir had just smiled and flopped backwards in the bed, Maedhros had seated himself next to Haldir, watching him thinking to himself 'this is it' and he had recalled the words that Fingon had mumbled and broken his heart years back. He just sat there and waited for them, but Haldir said nothing, instead he just looked up at him and smiled, the smile never reached his eyes.
He had not dared to ask if he was happy, he didn't want the answer. He could read it in Haldir's eyes.
Pacing his cell, he got more and more aggravated. He knew that maybe he was not the problem, but he sure as shit weren't a part of the solution. Maybe, maybe he should just help Haldir to what Fingon took.
It took Maedhros a week to get a meeting with Mandos himself. He could tell that the Doomsman was puzzled and slightly amused, as Maedhros stepped through the door.
"Warden." Maedhros said flatly, walking over to the panorama windows where he could see the city of elves. Down there were all of those he loved, his family, Fingon, and Haldir, he wondered what they were doing for a moment.
"I am sure you didn't work so hard for an audience, just to appreciate the view." Mandos said, turning in his chair, offering Maedhros a cigarette.
Maedhros took the offered cigarette, his shackles clanging. "True," He just said, turning to watch the city again once he got his cigarette going. "I want you to withdraw Haldir's visitors permit."
"Whatever for?" Mandos frowned, staring at Maedhros like he lost his mind.
"You know why." Maedhros said with a tiny voice.
"Honestly no, I don't." Mandos shrugged studying Maedhros' profile. "I made sure that you had the private visitor's room, that you could have your shackles off and..."
"And thank you for that." Maedhros stated, flashing a little smile. "I should never have..." He sighed, "I shouldn't unload on you, man. It's just that I only had myself to talk to."
"You have unlimited written communication." Mandos answered. "Unlike Melkor."
"Thanks the for the comparison, that made me feel better, Warden." Maedhros sulked.
The Doomsman just nodded, and poured himself a drink, waiting for Maedhros to speak.
"I realize that I am asking you for a favor, and I have nothing to give in return." Maedhros sighed turning his head and looked at Mandos over his shoulder, "I'll do whatever you ask, as long as you promise me to never let Haldir set foot here again," He smiled bitterly, "at least not to see me."
Mandos seemed to think about it, "What would you suggest we told him?"
"Lie... tell the truth, I don't care. It's not like I have to deal with it." Maedhros said in a hard tone.
"That would mean that you had no visitors at all." Mandos said softly, almost with fatherly concern.
"I will just have to live with that, won't I?" Maedhros huffed bitterly. "So will you do it?"
"I will." Mandos said, "I still think it's a decision that you'll live to regret."
"Put it on the list I regret." Maedhros said turning to the window again. "I just never want to see him or talk to him again. I want all mail sent back, and all visits rejected."
"You got it." Mandos said, "I have one condition, and a request though."
"You always do." Maedhros sighed, "What is it? Does it require deadly force?"
"I want you to write Haldir yourself and explain it to him, you owe him that much." Mandos said.
"You know I can't write..." He bit off the long line of cursing that would have followed, and instead just raised his shackled wrists. "I learned how to kill and wank with left hand, never learned how to write again."
Mandos smiled, "You want to tell him in person?"
"No." Maedhros breathed and hung his head, "I just know you planned that you motherfucker."
"Maeglin has quite a nice freehand." Mandos said lighting himself another cigarette. "Maybe you could get him to write it for you."
"Are you shitting me?" Maedhros couldn't stop from letting out a haughty snort. "He is the single most annoying, OCD asshole I ever met."
"Never the less." Mandos said smiling, happy with himself, "He needs a friendly ear, he hasn't had a single visitor, ever. And I figured that with you going down the same path, you two might have something in common."
"Like arranging your pens for ten hours straight?" Maedhros huffed, but then nodded. "Alright, you got it. I will be Maeglin's new best buddy if you just hold Haldir off."
"Good." Mandos leaned back in chair, watching Maedhros. "And the request,"
"Eru... yes... what about it?" Maedhros turned around completely and looked at Mandos.
"Your friend Erestor is recovering down stairs, he has been asking for you." Mandos said, "I figured you could go have a chat with him, sadly he is in no condition to go here."
Maedhros let out a pained sound, "I can't do that... I fucking blew his brains out,"
"You blew your own brains out, and quite frankly you have liberated loads of elves and other creatures of their precious life... Don't see why you should be too good to go give a damaged brother some moral support." Mandos smiled as Maedhros' lips became a fine line of anger.
"Fine." Maedhros growled, "I'll go hear whatever he has to say." He walked away from the window and table, "Full escort I take it, people and dangling chains."
"Yup." Mandos nodded, "Gives the other elves a sense of justice, and keeps my brother off my back."
Maedhros could not remember that he had ever seen the library; he didn't even know that the Halls had one that he was allowed in. Maeglin was rearranging some of the books that some sloppy fool had apparently put back upside down. "Yo, Buddy!" Maedhros called, pouring himself some coffee, unwilling to admit it was nice to have coffee with someone. It had been a very long time since that had happened and honestly then even Maeglin was someone.
Maeglin looked at him; he had the same spooky black pools for eyes as his father had, completely un-readable. "Oh, yes - I forgot." He shuffled back to the table, re-arranging the paper and pen.
Maedhros closed his eyes and counted to ten, "Why the fuck can't you just leave shit be? Do you really have to move everything around?"
Maeglin raised a brow, "But it's a mess! So I just put it back to how it should be."
"Alright... Whatever rocks your boat Mags." Maedhros smiled, knowing that the whole name-calling drove Maeglin nuts.
"Letter." Maeglin said drily.
"Alright..." Maedhros licked his lips, "Dearest Haldir... or is that dumb? Should it be 'Beloved?'"
"Depends." Maeglin shrugged.
"Fuck," Maedhros growled pinching the bridge of his nose, just like his foster son would in a stressful situation.
"Let's go with beloved, you were lovers, right?" Maeglin said in a with a diplomatic smile, on his thin lips.
"Yeah." Maedhros whispered.
"So; Beloved Haldir." Maeglin said, quickly arranging the two extra pens on the side.
"Uhm... okay..." Maedhros gestured to Maeglin to start writing. "You should be happy, and I can tell that you aren't. So I am giving you your life back." He paused and licked his lips, "Good luck with it, Love Maddy."
Maeglin stared at Maedhros in disbelief, "No wonder you made such a terrible ruler."
"What?" Maedhros whined, "I never said I was any good at this whole poetry thing."
"Don't you mean this whole 'expressing yourself in general' thing?" Maeglin huffed.
"You don't get it man." Maedhros got off his chair and started to pace in front of the table where Maeglin sat. "If I tell him that I love him, he will feel worse than he is bound to when he reads it, and if I told him I didn't, I'd lie... I just don't know how to explain to him that I can see him wearing thin, and he deserves someone who can be there for him." He stopped and glared at Maeglin.
"There you have it." Maeglin said with a little sneaky smile. He held the letter up and read. "Beloved Haldir. - I can tell that you are unhappy; I can see you are wearing thin. You deserve someone who can be at your side, as it should be. So I am giving you your life back."
"That works." Maedhros nodded.
"Maybe add something about that you'll miss him?" Maeglin asked.
"No, that would be cruel."
"You must be joking..." Maeglin shook his head amused, "Like this letter isn't cruel to begin with?"
"Point taken." Maedhros sighed.
"So maybe add something like, 'I'll never forget the love we shared.'"
"Are you fucking crazy?" Maedhros laughed, "I'd never say something like that." He pushed off the table and started pacing again, "What about, 'I will remember us fondly'... nah fondly is too close to fondling..."
"You really, really suck at this..." Maeglin sighed.
"Fuck off psycho-caveboy, like I don't know that!" Maedhros roared in frustration, and quickened his pacing.
"Sticks and stones..."
"Eru give me strength..." Maedhros groaned... "Let's get this fucking letter over with so we can get back to discussing who of us is the biggest wack-job." He stopped and took a sip of his coffee. "What about, 'I'll never forget you'."
"Perfect." Maeglin said with a nod.
"Are you mocking me, or what?" Maedhros asked raising a suspicious brow.
"No, actually not. It -is- perfect." Maeglin said scratching his cheek, smearing some ink.
"Alright, and then just end it." Maedhros said sitting down again.
"Want to add a 'goodbye' or 'farewell'?" Maeglin asked softly.
"Maybe a 'farewell' would be in order... Yeah add that." Maedhros leaned back in his chair, "And then just add 'Love' and I'll add my name."
"Alright." Maeglin pushed the letter to Maedhros, the spider web like handwriting some of the prettiest he had ever seen, even when he had the use of his hand he didn't have a fine line like this. He took the pen and helplessly scribbled 'Maddy' in the bottom, which looked mostly like something a three year old would produce, and in start contrast to the masterly crafted letter.
"You know..." Maeglin said softly, "I could teach you to write with your left hand, if you want me to."
"Really?" Maedhros said, "Sure, I could use some improvement in that department." He smiled at Maeglin, "And I could teach you to swear in three different dialects of Quenyan and two in Sindarin."
"Deal." Maeglin said, folding the letter in perfectly angular folds.