I won't give up:- Chapter 1

I guess you could say I was the 'normal teenager'. Getting angry from now and then, having random crushes on random boys, staying up till all hours then sleeping in the morning, eating junk food then crying for not being 'perfect'? Yeah...normal. Every morning I would walk down stairs, grab a cereal bar then go back upstairs to get ready for school. I would do my usual makeup routine before being shouted down stairs for a lift off my mum to school. School, like for every other kid in my year, would feel like death. Counting the hours from the moment I walk through the door until I walk back out of it, school was the best years of our lives? Who said that? Every day in year 11 I would either stay behind doing more work or waiting for friends, but eventually I would get home only to be greeted by the one and only person that ever really mattered to me. My beautiful boyfriend, Zayn. He was 1 year and 4months older than me, but that didn't matter. You know why? We loved each other, and it wasn't just some little kid love or something you would say to your granddad. It was real; we had been through everything together and still came out smiling. He loved me, I loved him. Now, I know you might be thinking this is going to be yet another sloppy love story were they fall in love and love each other forever and ever, amen! It's not. I hope I could say it was, but it's not. As a matter of fact, this story is far far from anything sloppy! Going back to when I first met Zayn. It was a Tuesday morning, 9:34am. I was late to school as was he. We walked into the front yard of the school, made that awkward eye contact, and then carried on walking. I knew him and I hoped that he knew me. I wouldn't say either of us was popular nor un-popular, just normal I guess? I was in year 9 at the time and Zayn was in year 10, so we didn't really see each-other much outside or around school. The only time I could really get to look at him was at break, the time when the whole school was cramped into one room and you're still expected to breathe. The possibilities of me trying to find him were endless, so of course, in the end I just gave up. That was until I heard a couple of my friends were having a party, a big party at that matter and she had invited the whole school. Whether Zayn would turn up I didn't know but I went anyway. I remember getting ready for the party and going there but I don't really remember anything else, but of course I have pictures to show me what and why I can't remember.

After seeing each other for 7 months, Zayn finally asked me to be his girlfriend. You know that feeling you get when you can't remember what was going on around you, but you knew what was happening? That's the feeling I get when I try to remember that day. Obviously I remember Zayn asking me, that is something I will never forget but, all the time after or before that is just a blur, it's quite sad really. Me and Zayn finally celebrated our 1 year anniversary on 3rd March 2008. The one thing I will never forget is how he looked the night we went out for a meal together. I remember him and his dad picking me up from my house at exactly 7:30pm. He was standing outside of the car waiting for me when I came out, his hair looked the best it had ever looked and his dress sense was outstanding! The whole drive to the restaurant was ever so awkward. Just me, him and his dad with nothing but 'smooth radio' to listen to. No-one would speak and I remember Zayn asking me a number of times if I was ok. When we finally pulled up outside the restaurant, Zayn's dad wished us luck as if we were going in for an exam and hoped everything 'went well'. Which still to this day, I don't understand. Everything from that moment on I don't remember, but again, the pictures I have fill in for the memory I have lost. After being with Zayn for 2 years, everyone would say how we were going to get married and have kids together. We had made plans for that in the future, but for the time being, we wouldn't let anything spoil our childhood. For the first time in a long time I was happy and everyone noticed it. My mum would constantly tell me how lucky I was, with Zayn being my first boyfriend, she thought we would turn out to be a disaster... On the 14th June 2009 Zayn had some very important news for me. As he called me up the night before telling me to meet him in the park the next day, my mind immediately thought we were breaking up. So of-course that night I hardly had any sleep, which made meeting him in the park the next day 10x worse. I met him just like we had arranged and he told me to sit down, making things yet again awkward. He began by saying he loved me and that whatever happened I should know that. This was going to be the ultimate break up. As he continued speaking, I remember thinking for a moment I actually heard my heart shatter into a thousand prices and Zayn was taking every one of them and stamping on them again. Then suddenly I focused back on the conversation again only to hear "...X factor!" I remember seeing Zayn's face go from all excited and happy to looking tearful and surprised. I obviously had no clue what he said so I didn't know how to react. Zayn's audition finally got broadcasted on 19th July and because Zayn kept it a secret from me whether he passed the judges or not I remember being eager to know. He had called me round to his house for 8pm to watch the show at 8:30. Me, his mum, his dad, him and his 3 sisters were all crowded around the small yet powerful TV, waiting for Zayn's audition to be showed. What felt like forever, watching the other contestants as they either got a yes or a no, both me and Zayn were eyeing up the competition. A young boy named 'Harry Styles' had gotten 3 yes' from the judges as did another one named 'Liam Payne'. If Zayn did get though, we all knew it would have been tough. "Yes he is over the moon..." I remember phoning my mum as soon as I found out Zayn got through. I remember sitting there and thinking back to what he had said to me when we were in the park. 'I love you and whatever happens you should know that...' I also remembered thinking whether it was a good thing he had said that or a bad thing. Yet the celebrations went on. Week after week we would all sit round the TV watching as Zayn would get more and more popular each time he was on the screen. I remember this one week Zayn wasn't himself. He was a lot quieter and most of the time wouldn't have a conversation with us. That week we found out that Zayn had got booted off. It was more depressing to find that he was only 1 more audition away from the live shows. Both me and Zayn were gutted and I remember the week after being so hard for him it was un-real.