Yay! Commentary! (this is going to be a short chapter though)
This is my first BP fic (and hopefully my only BP fic) and I'm a little stumped as to what it'll actually be about. The actual Manga jumps all over with a new topic in every volume, except near the end when it actually was a real, official conflict needing to be solved. I do have a main-ish topic in mind, but it doesn't really go anywhere.
Anyway, the actual "intro" part is finished, and from here the story just progresses. I thought I'd clarify some things, because it's all a little confusing.
So the Style Shoppe originates in New York City. A bunch of students in beauty college got together for a big project: to open a hair salon. They style hair, mostly for special occasions like Iori-san mentioned. One day, an older member of the Style Shoppe crew, Karen Yagami, had an idea to take the Style Shoppe international. She hopped over to Japan along with Sarah-san, Mitchie-san, Janie-san, and Erie-san, along with her little sister and they rented a lovely place to open a new salon. The Yagami sisters live upstairs, where Sammie-chan has made her little haven of her room/workshop.
Erie-chan is a first year beauty college student, two years younger than the other stylists, and Karen-san is one year older. Sammie-chan is the same age as Kiri, so she's a few years younger than the rest of the stylists. Just thought I'd let you know.
Anyway, on to important things. Because I loved the Manga so much, I decided to focus a lot on style to match the Manga. The problem is the style in a Manga is really different because it's so enhanced by pictures, and it's mostly dialogue. Kiyoko Arai often splits dialogue into two different speech bubbles separated by ellipses, and if you read closely she uses ellipses a lot, especially for Kiri. In my opinion, the use of separating speech bubbles and ellipses gives a different feel. For example if you said "I'll help you add a little magic", it doesn't give the mystical, peaceful tone as if you said "I'll help you…add a little magic..." And the use of separating dialogue enhances that even more, and when reading most people will use pauses at the ellipses. This can't always be portrayed with prose since there's no picture accompaniment so readers have to use their imagination. Also using ellipses all the time would be weird. When I was imagining the story in my head, it was in Manga form, and I pictures Kiri and Sammie and all the others as if it was the sequel to the Manga itself. Transforming that into prose is challenging, which is why writers who write fanfiction for Manga's have a more difficult time than those who write from books or even animations, since there isn't actually narration in animations, so you can use whatever voice you choose. I prefer to match voice to the original authors; it makes it seem more authentic that way. Matching the voice of a Manga is a lot harder though, especially for Beauty Pop because of the mystical mood of it, which is also enhanced with those weird light rays and facial expressions that can't be used when writing. Stories are really different from Manga because of the extra need for imagination; you don't just have to imagine their voice, but the pictures too. And that is why you can really match the voice of a Manga exactly, but I'll try my best. :)
That's it for now, and I hope you're enjoying Comeback.
This is how the days progressed:
Billy continued to visit and pester Sammie about cutting her hair. She always refused, and remained completely wary of him.
"I just don't like people cutting my hair, that's all," she said quickly when Sarah asked.
Narumi followed Kiri's advice and stayed the way he was. The two got closer.
"It's strange because Puffy Head knows I like her, but she doesn't show it to the others. I guess it should stay that way."
Ochiai noticed this, of course, and was deeply disturbed. He began to silently plot how to destroy Narumi.
"Nothing against Narumi though, we're such good friends and I'm with him at every step. But Koshiba-san is mine and I will have her, not Narumi."
Kiri continued to visit Sammie too, and she often noticed that Sammie was hiding something, mostly her hair iron, but Kiri knew she had other secrets too. She refused to show her (or Billy) anything except her rapid sketching, although Kiri (and the rest of the SP) already knew that she was good with an iron from when she did Kanako's hair.
Ochiai became worried that the Style Shoppe would steal customers from the SP and Koshiba Beauty Salon, but Karen ensured him that they weren't quite as skillful and they weren't planning to go anywhere with the business.
Sammie continued to hang out with the SP. She was always good natured and cheerful around everyone, and even Narumi acted nicer towards her. Ochiai noticed this, and he began to think.
As for Billy, he felt something strange. He couldn't comprehend it, so he chose to ignore it. He only wanted one thing right now.