A/N: Hello my lovelies, I have not forgotten about anyone. Insane times with 6 weeks left to go on my Bachelor's and trying to get registered to take a Master's program. So, here it is, my latest story. This one I think is going to actually be a series. Yeah, I know, me write a series? This is my relaxation. Well, this and watching all the DVD's my lovely girlfriend bought me to try and sate me while waiting for season 8.
Once again, this is JJ/Emily and this revolves around after the episode 2122 Mosley Lane. It's in season 4. Not major spoilers, but I did center this around that episode.
So, once again, none of this, except the plot, belongs to me. Criminal Minds belongs to CBS and whoever else claims the show. However, if Paget Brewster decides to come back, I am more than willing to be her personal assistant. So, no money is being made off of this, just a junkie who is trying to deal with the fact that one half of her favorite couple won't be on the show next season. However, I don't care, there is still JJ/Emily to be written.
The blonde heard the car coming up the gravel driveway and fought the urge to rush out. Peering out the window, she noticed how slow the car was driving and her brow furrowed in concentration; this was unusual, because only time the brunette drove that slow was when something was on the radio. She heard her footsteps coming up to her door and paused when the doorbell didn't ring. She sighed and heard her sit on the front step, picturing her perfectly; eyes cast down, arms wrapped around her knees, staring into nothing.
The blonde quietly opened the door, and her heart broke at the sight that was sitting in front of her. She knew that cases with children always hit her harder than most; she knew why also. She knew that even though the case had a happy ending, she knew that this particular one would haunt her for days, because of the one that died before they could get there. She knew that there was no compartmentalization that could help with this one. The only thing she could do was go over and over the case facts in her head, analyzing every detail until it ate her alive.
She walked outside and sat next to the brunette, not saying anything. She glanced over at lover and reached out, taking her hand. She knew that right now she needed this light touch, this constant reminder of what was real. Not saying anything, the brunette sighed and blinked back tears, wondering how this could get any easier.
"We saved three of them, Em. The case was a success."
"No, if I could have worked the profile a little quicker, we could have saved the fourth one."
The blonde reaches out and gently turns the brunette's face towards her, the unshed tears in her lover's eyes breaking her heart. "Em, we saved three. It's more than we can usually save."
"What made you believe her? What made you, after all the years that Charlie's mother had come in, what made you believe her this time?"
JJ sighed and said quietly, "The fact that if that was Henry, I would do the same thing; is the same way. Yes, maybe my personal feelings got in the way this time, but there was just something different about this time."
Emily sighed and scooted closer, laying her head on the blonde's shoulder, taking comfort in the mere presence of her girlfriend. "You know, when we were wrapping up and asked us how we did this, I was truthful. It was the days like today that make it worth it. However, for the three we saved, there were all those other families that will never have closure."
JJ sighed and traced her finger over the inside of Emily's palm. "I know, baby. And I know that no matter what, we keep doing what we're doing because we have days like this. You also know that we can't save all of them, no matter how much we want too, because it's just not possible."
"I know, but how do you tell a parent that their child is never coming home? "
Before JJ could answer, a cry from the baby monitor rang out and she sighed, pushing herself up. Emily stopped her. "Can I go get him? Please?"
JJ nodded and watched as the brunette rose unsteadily to her feet, wiping the dirt off of her pants before heading in. JJ sighed as the door closed, knowing that this was going to be one time when words wouldn't help.
Emily made her way slowly upstairs, blinking back tears. She was happy the case had the outcome it did. However, she just couldn't help feel empty at the prospect of one child dying to save another child. She sighed and pushed open Henry's door, noticing that Henry was cooing quietly. She leaned over and picked him up and he fussed for a moment before settling back down. Taking him over to the changing table, she talked quietly to him, her tears quietly making their way down her face as Henry gurgled happily.
"You know, little man, if you were Charlie, I would never stop looking either. Everyone thought his mother was crazy, but in the end she was right. I know your mommy wouldn't either. Neither would anyone else. We'd turn over the earth so that we could find you. You don't know how lucky you are to have a whole team of people who would rather die themselves than have anything happen to you." She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair.
Noticing his eyes starting to close, she rocked him gently, humming a tune. As Henry's breathing evened out and he fell back into slumber, she couldn't bear to put him back in his crib. He felt so real, so alive that she was having a hard time leaving go.
Not sure how much time had passed, she didn't even notice when JJ looked in and noticed Emily staring down at Henry with a soft smile. She walked over and ran her hand over the brunette's head, causing Emily to startle. "Sorry," JJ said quietly, "I was just wondering where the two of you were."
"I know it seems stupid, but I can't leave him go." JJ tipped Emily's chin up and noticed the brown orbs had unshed tears in them. She reached over and gently took Henry out of her arms, walking over and placing him back in the crib. Going over to where Emily was sitting, she knelt on the floor, placing her hands on either side of the rocking chair. "Baby, look at me."
Emily kept her hands focused on her lap, saying quietly, "It's not just this case. It's the memories of what I did. I can't ever have children, JJ. From what I did when I was 15, I scarred my body so badly that I can never have children. Henry's all I have, and if you leave me, I won't have anything."
JJ placed her hand underneath the brunette's chin, forcing her to look up. "Listen to me, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. I love you. I've loved you since the day you walked into the BAU. I will always love you. You are my life, other than Henry. You two are my world. I heard what you said to him. You love that little boy as much as I do, if not more." The unshed tears in the brunette's eyes spilled over as JJ continued, "I want you to know that this, what we have, is forever, or as long as we're allowed to have it. We of all people know that tomorrow is not promised, but I will love you until the day I leave this earth and after."
Emily looked at the blonde and said quietly, "If I would have chosen differently…."
"You wouldn't be here with me because your mother would have killed you." Emily smiled slightly at that and said quietly, "I was a failure then. I feel like a failure now."
Not knowing what else to do, JJ leaned up and pressed her lips against Emily's, and the brunette moaned in surprise, opening her mouth slightly, allowing JJ access. Tongues started a delicate dance, each stroke trying to wash the pain and hurt of a life time. As the kiss slowed, JJ pulled back and rested her head against Emily's, sighing softly. Emily locked her brown eyes onto the blonde's blue ones and in that gaze, there was a love of lifetime. Emily smiled softly and blinked, trying to get her emotions under control. Pulling back completely, she looked at the blonde and said quietly, her gaze never leaving the blonde's face, "I love you."
"I love you too." A brilliant smile flashed across the blonde's face, knowing that Emily saying those words to her meant more than anyone else saying them. Taking her hand and bringing it up to her lips, she placed a soft kiss against the knuckles. However, Emily couldn't quite shake the feeling that despite the blonde's feelings, she would find something better eventually and that she would be alone again.
JJ saw the emotions play across the brunette's face and ran a hand slowly down her cheek, smiling softly as the brunette leaned into the touch. "No matter how dark your darkest hour seems, I'll be here. You don't have to hide from me anymore. I made you a promise; I gave you my heart. You've had my heart since the day you walked into the BAU and I won't let you run anymore."
"What if someone better comes along?" Emily asked softly, the question barely a whisper.
JJ gave her a look with such love and adoration in the gaze that Emily's breath caught in her throat. "I love you; no one else. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I won't let you go. I will walk through fire for you, to fight for you, to find you. If you are lost, I will find you. If you are scared, I will hold you. Henry and I both love you more than anyone in this world."
The darkness that Emily had been feeling, while not gone, was slowly lifting. And in the light was the blonde hair beauty who had given her what she had always dreamed of: a family and a way out of the darkness that had been around her all her life.