**Disclaimer** This chapter is a bit steamy and passionate. I wrote it a month ago and had sat on it, it fits in perfectly with the story and I needed to work out the flow and I wanted to add to it. I decided not to change the entire rating of the story but I am giving a warning about the content. I hope you all like it and please please give feedback. Once again, I own nothing but myself.
I have never used song lyrics in my stories, but this was a suggestion from a friend who thought it would be a good fit. I really do love it.
Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me.
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see.
I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believe.
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me. "Edge of Desire", John Mayer
Chapter 8: The Road Home
The absolute worst part of this entire thing was that Jack had stopped sleeping with me. I'd go to sleep by myself and at first I thought he was just working late. But when I woke up, he wouldn't be there. I would find him on the couch. He kept telling me he was working and didn't want to wake me, but I knew it was all part of this distance he was creating. I hated it and I knew it was only a matter of time before I made a decision to leave. What choice did I have?
After two and a half weeks, I'd had enough. I had reached my breaking point and I knew I had to do something. Everything came to a head a few nights before my hearing.
Around 11pm on that Tuesday, Jack came into the bedroom to get his pajamas. As usual, he was going to head down to take his spot on the couch. I think he thought I was asleep because he was very quiet. I wasn't. I sat up as he was heading to the door. This was getting to be too much.
"Jack? Please don't go."
He stopped dead in his tracks and stood there, with his back facing me.
I knew it was now or never, "Please stay with me. I'm begging you. I can't sleep when you're not here next to me. I'm baring my soul right now. I know why you're doing this, but please, please just stay with me tonight." I realized I'd started to cry.
"I know. You're still mad. But I can't go on like this. If you still love or want me at all, please just don't walk out of this room, I'm begging you. Please just turn around and come to me."
I saw him sigh and put his head down, but he didn't move.
"Jonathan Donahue Bristow, don't leave me."
His head snapped back up, "You never call me that." He said, his voice low.
Finally, he turned around and looked at me. I was kneeling on the bed with my arms out and tears streaming down my face. I couldn't have been more desperate, and shattered. If he walked out after this, it was going to kill me. I couldn't take it. I pleaded with him one more time.
"Damn it, Brooke" He came at me. My heart stopped. He grabbed my face with his hands and kissed me. Hard. Then he stopped, still holding my face and looked into my eyes, "Don't you EVER do that me to again, do you understand?" I was shaking my head. "When I give you an order on missions, it's not for my own health. You listen and if the building is going to blow and I order you to get out, you GET OUT. Do I make myself clear? I don't ever want to go through this again." He was stroking my hair. "Do you think I wanted to push you away? No. I have given more of myself to you than to anyone. I promise to never do this to you again if you promise to never disobey me on missions and scare me. Okay?" At this point, he was talking to me in between kissing my face.
I couldn't breathe, I just kept saying, "I promise. I'm sorry. I love you."
Just then, he pushed me back onto the bed and started removing his jacket.
I was panting hard, and watching him. My God, I want this.
"And furthermore, how could you ever think I don't want you? I can't resist you. Ever. That's why this has been so goddamn difficult for me." He was tearing off his tie.
This was the most passionate I'd seen him in a long time. And I loved it.
"Take off your shirt" he said to me. I obliged and he stood above me, gaping.
"Jack, what are you doing?" As if I didn't know.
He arched his eyebrow, and proceeded to remove his shirt to reveal his wife beater. He had broad, muscular shoulders and strong arms. I loved and missed his body.
"I'm going to show you how much I still want you."
He leaned against me, and I could already feel it. I had wanted him to stay with me but I just wanted him to be with me while we slept, I wasn't really going for this. Of course, I wasn't complaining.
His hands were on either side of my body, "Do you still want me?"
I gasped, "Are you kidding?" I smiled at him.
By now, he was out of his pants and lifted me up on to the bed. He very gently lay on top of me. He started kissing me again and his hands were on my neck and had made their way down to my chest. I missed his hands on me, his lips on me, his body on me. I grabbed his neck and ran my fingers through his curly silver locks. I wanted this. So badly. I couldn't help but cry. It had been too long.
"Honey, please don't cry. I love you. I have missed you." He said in between kisses.
"I have missed you, too."
Before I knew it, he had pushed my legs open and filled me. Yes, this was home.
We hadn't really been cleared for this by Dr. Moyer but my back was fine and if I got injured, I could live with that.
He was still holding my face and looking into my eyes and kissing me. I could hardly believe this was happening. I thought I'd lost him. Forever. And here he was, here we were. Together like we'd been all this time. We'd made it. He didn't leave me.
I was in ecstasy, seeing the affect I'd had, I used his given name one more time, "Jonathan,"
For whatever reason, that turned him on even more and he picked up the pace. "Oh god, Brooke."
Every inch of my body exploded as we both collapsed in a heap of passion.
After we both regained our breath, Jack propped himself up on his elbow and turned towards me, where I was still laying on my back, smiling. "I guess Dr. Moyer would be disappointed in us, huh?" He winked at me and we both laughed. I leaned towards him, admiring his discheveled hair and touched his face.
"You didn't leave me." I whispered.
Jack sighed, "I couldn't. I saw the damage I'd done by pushing you away all this time. I knew I had to put an end to it or I was going to lose you forever. And when I looked at you, my heart broke." He gave me a soft glance, "I wasn't really planning on what happened next, but the fact that you thought I didn't want you anymore was too much for me. I suddenly felt the need to prove you wrong."
He reached over and touched my hair, "I can't tell you how sorry I am. I never meant to hurt you. Pushing you away was the only way I knew how to cope with all of this. But it won't happen again, I promise. Please forgive me." His voice cracked and his brown eyes were pleading with me.
We sat up for another hour, just talking, more than we'd talked in weeks. We both cried and held each other and finally, I fell asleep on his chest, listening to the soft beat of his heart. I knew we were going to be okay. At least, I hoped.