Disclaimer: I own nothing on Twilight. The only thing in this story I do own is Dex, Elijah, and all other characters you do not recognize.

Irony Thy Name is Me

I sighed as the rain pounded against the tinted car window as I watched the "The city of Forks welcomes you!" sign pass by. Yes, I had the most unfortunate luck of having to move to Forks, Washington. Population: 3,120. That wasn't nearly as close to the population of the city I came from. Temecula in sunny southern California. Temecula's population? 57, 716. I already miss the beautiful shining sun, surprisingly enough, since I normally hate it. I suppose the saying "You never know how much you truly love something until it's gone" applies here.

Now why would I be moving to Forks? This small speck of a town that shouldn't even be recognized? I was forced here against my will because of my arsehole of a brother. He got a job at the stupid Forks Police Department and insisted it was best for the both of us. Oh how damned wrong he was.

"Dex," My brother, Elijah, said, "It was for the best. Get off your high-horse already. It's not that bad, and you'll have fun, meet some new people, and all that jazz."

I glared at him, blue-green eyes turning to icy blue. How dare he say that I was on my high horse!

"Elijah!" I started, "You have no damned right to say I'm on my high horse! You ripped me from my friends, from everything I'm comfortable with, from everything that I know! Don't even start with me dammit!"

He gripped the steering wheel and breathed in loudly to try to calm himself, this wasn't the first fight we had had on our five day trip here. "Look," He began, fighting off an angry tone, "It is for the best, Dex. I know you don't need to be back there. It's too hard for you, and me. This change is something you and I both need. I understand that you're going to miss your friends and the familiarity, but you'll make new friends and you'll get used to this place, too. Honestly, you're being a bit dramatic."

I glared at him more, not buying any of his statement, but as I opened my mouth to retort, he pulled into a chalk white driveway.

I looked up and saw a moderately sized two-story house. The outside was a boring grey color, and the front door was a regular dark wood door with nothing but overgrown plants lining the walkway. 'You have got to be kidding me' I thought, disgusted with how boring and normal it was. Our old house was nothing like this. Okay, so maybe I was being dramatic, but still. I was going to hate everything because it wasn't home.

I sighed and pulled my black hood up over my dirty blonde hair to keep out the constant rain I had researched about when I found out we were moving here, and opened the passenger door of Elijah's white 2009 Dodge Challenger. We weren't rich, but we were able to live a comfortable life-style and splurge on the things we wanted at times. Being a police officer doesn't pay enough for that, but we were able to accumulate a healthy enough sum of money from what our parents did.

I flinched, but shook my head and grabbed a box from the mover's van that had followed us on our journey from southern California to this spit wad.

"Your room's the last door down on the left of the second floor," Elijah said from inside the van, pushing boxes that were in the back to the front to make them easier for me to grab & handing some to the movers. I said nothing back but walked up the aging brick path and into the house.


The inside of the house didn't look too special. When you walked in, you walked onto boring stone tiles that led right into the kitchen and fifteen or so feet forward until it hit the wall and carpeted stairs. When you walked left, you ran into a moderately sized living room with beige carpeting. I walked up the stairs and followed them up and down the hall until I hit the last door on the left.

I opened the door, and saw a decently-sized room. It wasn't too small, but it wasn't massive either. It was a perfect size for me, as much as I hated to admit it. I saw two white doors which were presumably the bathroom and closet, though I ignored the two for now and walked towards a cushy looking window seat in front of the biggest window. I placed the box on the hardwood floor and went to sit by the window. It had a decent (okay, nice) view of the forest but as I turned away from it I saw something I loved even more than the view. It was a huge mirror that followed the length of one of the walls, and had a ballet bar in the middle of it all. I wasn't a dancer anymore, but I did love to do some moves in front of the mirror when I was alone. If I was ever done with giving Elijah the cold shoulder, I would definitely thank him for giving me this room. I contemplated that as I walked back down to grab the rest of my boxes and tell the movers where the furniture would be going.


A few hours had passed, and my room was finally done. I was currently sitting on the bed, my maroon comforter squishing underneath me, as I flipped the channels on the tv. I sighed, finding nothing to watch, and leaned back against the wall, thinking about what color to paint the walls, when a knock interrupted my thoughts. I grunted as an okay to come in.

"Hey, Squirt," Elijah said, wearing his police uniform, "The room looks great." He took a quick look of the room, his sky-blue eyes landing on the plum purple sectional sofa bed.

"Haha you kept it?" He asked, walking over and flopping down on it.

"Of course," I said my tone still icy.

Elijah sighed, but stayed lying where he was and said nothing. I watched him out of the corner of my eyes as he lay there, mad as hell at him, but feeling slightly guilty for causing him such stress, then averted my eyes so I wouldn't think about caving.

"I have work soon," He said finally, sweeping his growing dirty blonde hair to the side. 'He really should cut that,' I thought.

"Whatever," I said, looking at the headboard to my right. Elijah sighed again but walked over to my bed and sat right in front of me. I still stubbornly had my head turned, not wanting to look at him.

He grabbed my chin and gently made me look at him. My glare was still prominent on my face, and my arms were crossed.

"Dex," He started, cautiously, "I've already told you several times, this move had to be done. I miss Temec, too, but I can't stand to have you and I there. I don't want you to grow up in that environment."

"I'm sixteen," I said, "I'm not a child that needs growing up anymore." I knew what I said was stupid and immature, but I couldn't stop being mad.

"I love you to death, Dext," Elijah said, "but you're so damn dramatic and immature! Look, I have to get to work, will you be okay here alone? I'll be back at 1. I know, it's late, or early if you look at it that way, but I don't want to lose any more pay than we have to. Besides, I'd rather work than sit here and wallow about how much I miss my old city." He tried to make the last part a joke, but it only angered me more and my glare intensified.

"Bye," I simply said, not looking at him anymore.

"Don't do that Dext, you know the rules," He said, and if I didn't know any better I'd say there was a hint of hysteria in his voice, "I love you, Dex."

"….Love you, too…." I said, a little unwillingly. He half-smiled, half-smirked, then walked to the door. 'He won this round, but he would not win any more,' I thought.

"Oh and by the way," Elijah said, stopping as he opened the door, "I think it'd be a good idea for you to explore the town a bit. Bye, Sis." Then he shut the door, and I faintly heard his steps as he descended the stairs, walked the few feet to the door, and opened and shut the front door.

I heard his Challenger fire up and wondered what would happen to it while he's on duty, but I vaguely remember Elijah saying something about a partner, though I don't remember who. I didn't care enough to remember.

I sighed, now bored out of my mind. For a split second I thought about taking Elijah's advice and exploring the town, but having no car and actually listening to Elijah, made me change my mind. I loved the rain, and I loved walking through it, but not when I had no clue where I was going. What if I were to get lost and stuck in the rain for hours? Not cool. And listening to Elijah? No way. I'm not doing anything that prick tells me to do anymore….except when I have to. So with that thought in mind, I simply jumped off my bed, walked to my cherry wood dresser, and grabbed my laptop off of it.

As I was waiting for it turn on, I looked out the window and just stared at the scenery. 'So. Much. Green' I thought as I did a slight eye twitch, and then looked back down to my laptop to see that it had finally turned on. I logged on to Facebook hoping any of my friends were on. They weren't. Then Skype. Still no one. I sighed and decided to just mess around on the internet, eventually getting bored and shutting down my laptop.

I looked at the clock, and I hadn't realized I'd spent so long on the internet and finally noticed my stomach grumbling and walked downstairs to the kitchen. There was a small island with a stone-looking countertop that matched the other counter spaces. There was a large two-door refrigerator with a large drawer to pull out for the freezer, a nice oven with an electric stove (just the kind I like), a large black dishwasher, and a white door that led to a large pantry.

I walked straight to the maroon fridge and bent down and opened the drawer for the freezer. I opened it finding nothing, I had forgotten we hadn't gone to the store yet. Instead I walked into the pantry and found some microwavable Mac and Cheese. I turned the sink on and filled the mac and cheese container, closed it, and popped it into the microwave for a few minutes.

The microwave ting-ed and I stirred around the macaroni with a fork and put it back in the microwave. The microwave tinged again and carefully pulled out the macaroni, placed it on a plate, and grabbed the extra cheese and opened it. I opened the packet and poured all of it evenly around the macaroni. I walked back upstairs and sat on my bed, turning on the TV, and cautiously eating it. I had no intention of burning my mouth.


A few hours had passed and I heard Elijah's Challenger drive up over the noise of the tv. I shook my head to fight off the sleep that was coming to me and changed into my pajamas. I grabbed my grey and black polka-dotted sleep shorts and black tank top and walked into the bathroom to change and wash my face off. As I was just finishing washing my face, I heard a knock and then Elijah cautiously walking in.

"Dex?" He called.

"In here," I said flatly and walked out of my bathroom, "How'd it go?" 'Not that I care,' I added in my head.

"It went great. I have a temporary partnership with Chief Swan," He said, smiling a little. I hummed in response, not really caring. "He has a daughter who goes to Forks High," He continued, obviously not caring that I didn't care, "Her name's Bella. He said she'd help ya out if you needed it. From what he says she's a real nice girl, too."

"That's great," I said, not even bothering to cover-up the fact that I seriously didn't care.

"Yeah, so that means you'll know someone tomorrow, and you won't have to sit alone at lunch, and maybe you'll even have classes with her," He said.

"What?" I asked, shocked as my anger built up, for his sake he better hope I heard him wrong.

"Yeah," He said, "You're going to school tomorrow. If I'm going to work right away, you're going to school right away."

"I thought I was starting next week! You told me next week, you, you asshole!" I yelled, mad at him and exasperated because I'll only get a few hours sleep now and I was beyond annoyed that he hadn't told me sooner.

"Sorry," he said, sounding only mildly apologetic, "but things change. I want you in school tomorrow."

"You realize I'm only going to get a few hours sleep then, right?" I yelled, my anger only rising. That's when he faltered, not really realizing the time. 'Idiot.'

"I," He started, "er, ugh,fine! But you're only missing this one day! You start Tuesday then. I personally would rather tough out the missing hours and go to school on Monday when everyone's getting used to going back to school, but hey, that's just me." I knew what he was trying to do, he was trying to convince me to go tomorrow, but I was the more stubborn of us two. And not an idiot.

"Elijah," I started, using a clipped polite voice, "it is only one day, and they have been in school for months now, so they are not new. Nice try though."

He sighed and ruffled his hair. He knew I won this round.

"Fine," he said, "you win, but you are going on Tuesday."

"Deal," I said, licking my pinky finger and holding it out. Elijah did the same as we did our special pinky swear.

He hugged me and said, "Now get to bed, Squirt." I rolled my eyes but hugged him back.

"I'm not that small," I grumbled, looking down. He laughed. Hard. I mock glared at that.

"Hun," He started out, in a mock caring voice, like he was trying to break something to me gently, "I'm six foot one. You're tiny compared to me."

I rolled my eyes but licked his cheek as revenge for the short comments.

"Ewwwww," He said, laughing and wiping his cheek with his hand. He gave me a big sloppy kiss on my cheek for his own revenge and bid me goodnight, turned the light off, and walked out.

I grumbled and wiped off my cheek as I grabbed the remote and flipped on a movie. Tropic Thunder to be exact. I loved that movie. It was stupid to most people, but I loved it, and as I was contemplating Robert Downey Junior's hotness level, I pulled the covers up to my chin, placed a pillow over my head (I couldn't get to sleep any other way), and finally passed out from staying up so late. My last thought was, 'This concludes the first day of my hell-hole,'