This chapter is crazy D: But there's happiness somewhere! Just gotta wait c:

Sasori is GAY. Just for future reference :3

Thanks for everything! Please enjoy!


"You can't run, un. The door is locked from the outside. I have the key and you're not going to get it," Deidara said, crossing his arms. "I want to know what's up, now, un."

"Are you stupid? Nothing's wrong, I'm fine, get out of my way, brat," Sasori spat, his eyes narrowing. Deidara snorted.

"Nothing wrong my ass, un. You've been avoiding me, you've been ignoring me, you haven't even looked at me in weeks! What did I do to piss you off, un?" Deidara asked, holding his hands up. "I'm sorry, just tell me what I did!" Sasori shook his head and walked to the door, trying to shake it open.

"Unlock the damn door." He jingled the door knob but no luck.

"Not until you sit down and talk to me, un." Deidara and Sasori were both more stubborn than a mule. They knew this would take time.

"I have nothing to talk about," Sasori hissed out, still shaking the knob.

"That's not going to work, you know," Deidara called from his spot on the small couch he had sat on. Sasori turned and gave him a venomous look.

"Unlock this door. Now, Deidara!" Deidara looked at his chipped nail polish.

"Just calm down, Danna, un. Tell me what's up, I'll give you the key, and you can leave. Simple as that," he said, glancing at his friend. Sasori growled and stomped over to the blonde.

"You wanna know what's up? I don't need you, I don't need you hanging around me, I don't need you distracting me from my work, my job, or what I love. You are in this band to play music, not to mess with me or my head. You're just a big headed blonde, brat! Now give me that damn key!" Sasori said, his eyes slits. Deidara took the key out of pocket and handed it to Sasori.

"Thank you, un," he said, making no indication that he was hurt by the words thrown in his face. Sasori snapped the key away from him, unlocked the door, and smacked it against the other wall, leaving the poor door to slam shut.

Deidara glanced around the room and ran a hand through his hair, blowing out air. He looked at his hands and laughed sadly.

"So that's all it was, hm? I thought I really had him. I wasn't joking when I think about spending forever with him." He stood up and casually walked back to his room, noticing Sasori's door was shut. He could hear loud music playing from inside.

Deidara decided to do the same.


Life went on, but rather dully, as Deidara liked to put it. Akatsuki had been going back and forth with shows, though they're small. They mailed the teaser CD's to Mike Hawk, whom was sending them all over NYC. He had called during one of their practice sessions, telling them that people were sending in letters wanting to see the group perform. They had made plans to make a trip there in a few months to play a rather large show.

With high hopes and dreams, Akatsuki was becoming big in rather short time, they had all thought. Deidara, only being in the band for a few months, found this to coming so fast. It had been a great ride, he knew, even with bumps and drops in the road. Even so, he knew that he couldn't act sad and forget about his job.

Sasori, however, hadn't even batted an eye his way. The two had only spoken when needed, Sasori having grown a strong dislike in the blonde (though Deidara didn't see what was so bad about him suddenly). Deidara didn't hate Sasori, oh no. He was still head over heels for the fiery red head, and he knew he always would be, but Sasori wanted nothing to do with him. Deidara respected that and hoped that when things calmed down for the band that Sasori would come running back into his arms. But Deidara knew better than to hope.


The group walked off stage, all smiling and high-fiving each other. They'd finished a larger gig (well, larger than what they've been doing), excited to get themselves out in the industry more. They signed a few things from fans, handing out more CD teasers, and talked with the managers of the joint they played at.

Deidara, however, knew that they had done worse, even if no one else had recognized it. He'd been noticing little things changing when they preformed. It wasn't just him, though. Sasori was having the same effect. Deidara became aware that he wasn't putting his heart into it because, well, Sasori had done a number on the thing. Deidara could have laughed, bitterly, at that. He noticed in his red head "friend" that his eyes.. they didn't have that usual spark in them. He sang because he was supposed to, not because he was happy, now.

Deidara walked to a table, seating himself down with a thud. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. He glanced up at the red head, who was chatting with one of the girls who had been in the crowd. She had giggled at something he said, then placed her hand on his arm. Deidara growled in the back of his throat and forced himself to look away.


Once the group had returned to their home, Deidara went straight for the alcohol. Pein and Konan's rules were that if you drank, you were to stay in the house. Since most of the team was underage, it was up the two to make sure that the others were safe and careful when drinking.

Deidara looked around the cabinet, searching for something hard. He wasn't a drinker, so he had absolutely no idea what he was wanting.

"Hey, Hidan, un. What's the best thing in here to get me smashed?" He asked the passing by albino. Hidan was a champ drinker, he outta know.

"Here, blondie," Hidan said after digging around. He handed him a small bottle.

"This little thing?" Deidara asked, holding it up. It was about the size of a beer can. Hidan patted him on the back.

"Yup. This shit will fuck you up in no time," he told him, grinning. Deidara thanked him and went to his room. Sitting himself down on the bed, Deidara poured the dark substance down his throat, hissing as it burned all the way down. He rolled his shoulders, instantly relaxing.

As he drank, he remembered the show they'd previously done. He remembered Sasori's usual, boring eyes. Where had that spark of amazement and fun run off to? Deidara took another sip, closing his eyes.

He thought back to when that girl had touched Sasori. Deidara's eyes snapped open at that. His face grew red in anger. He stumbled out of his bed, making his way to the hall. He banged on Sasori's door, leaning against the frame for support. He made a mental note to thank Hidan again, he was right when he said this would have you drunk off your ass before you realized it.

Sasori's door opened, his head poking out to see who it was. When he say the blonde, his eyes narrowed.

"What now?" Sasori asked, the irritation clear in his voice.

"Let me in, Danna." Deidara pushed past Sasori, entering the room without permission. He toppled over on the bed, sitting up slowly.

"Get out!" Sasori said, walking to the blonde, ready to throw him out. Deidara grabbed Sasori's arm, halting his movements.

"Why did you let her touch you?" Deidara growled out. Sasori looked confused.

"The hell are you talking about?"

"That girl at the show tonight! She was hanging off your every word, touching you like she owned you, un!" Deidara glared up at the red head.

Sasori scoffed. So that was his problem.

"What's it to you? You don't own me either, brat," Sasori spat, trying to yank his arm free. Deidara held his ground, not letting him go.

"Maybe not, but she wouldn't have had a chance anyways, un!" Deidara said, his voice raising.

"Oh yeah?" Sasori fought back.

"She looked about five years younger than you, she's a woman, and even if she had been a man, which wouldn't surprise me if she is one, being with you would have been impossible!" Deidara said, looking down for a moment. "Not only would she have to deal with your bitchy attitude, but dating a soon to be famous rock star isn't the worlds easiest job, un." Deidara narrowed his eyes and looked back up to the red head.

"You're just jealous, you brat. Get off of me, get out of my room!" Sasori yanked on his arm, trying to pry the blonde off him. Deidara growled.

"Where did your love of singing go, un? You looked dead on that stage. Your eyes were lifeless. I don't think I've ever seen you like that, un." Sasori's grip faltered a moment. "You know the answer and so do I." Deidara stood up, pushing Sasori against an empty wall. He allowed himself to be backed up, his eyes wide. "You were happy. You found what you looking for, then pushed it away because you got scared." Deidara leaned down to Sasori's face.

"Deidara stop it," Sasori said, weakly pushing him away. His eyes were wide, his breathing was erratic.

"You found love. I figured it out. You had been alone your whole life, you had been scared to let anyone else in. When you did, it did frighten you and you pushed it away. Now that the happiness is gone, you've returned to your old shell," Deidara's voice was low. He stared at Sasori with hazy eyes. "Afraid and alone." Deidara saw the red head flinch slightly. "You say it was me, messing with your work that was distracting you. But when you wouldn't even spare me a glance, when you had altogether ignored me, I knew right then it was in fact me. But not for the reason you said. It was because, Sasori, you fell in love." Deidara pushed his lips against the red heads.

All Sasori could do was let him.

Deidara was right. He was scared. Anyone who had loved him, left. His parents, dead. His grandmother hadn't cared. He blamed her for everything. She had kept the death of his parents, his only family other than her, from him for weeks. He had been staying with her for a few weeks, asking when Mother and Father were going to pick up him up, and go home. She had been saying, "any time now".

But the truth was that they were never coming.

Sasori had lost everyone cared for. Mom, Dad, his grandma. It was her fault they left him. If he had been with them, he could be with them, right now, where ever they were. But he was left here, in this world without a care for anyone.

Well, until he met Deidara, that is. True to the blondes word, he had fallen completely and utterly in love with him. That had scared him. Would he leave too? Would Sasori just end up broken again? He didn't want to find out. So he pushed Deidara away, for the best. Why didn't the blonde see that this was the best thing to do? He understood! He figured it out! Now why couldn't he leave him alone?

Deidara kept his lips on the shaking ones under him, hoping to calm the red head down. Deidara pulled back, only slightly.

"Sasori, I love you, un." He felt Sasori snap his head up. He backed up, watching the red head with careful eyes (well, as careful as you can be when drunk). Sasori's pale, scared face turned hard and cold.

"Deidara. Please leave," he said, pointing to the door, his voice barely above a whisper. Deidara stared at the shorter man. He chuckled grimly.

"Danna, un, don't live in the past." Deidara grabbed his forgotten bottle of booze, and walked in a not so straight line out the door, shutting it quietly.

Sasori slid down the wall, watching as the door shut. He glanced at the stuffed animal sitting on his shelf. Deidara had it for him, he remembered. He had been happy, then.

Deidara, too, slid down the wall in his own room. He looked at the ceiling, then back down at the ground. He took a drink of his beer, then folded his arms over his knees. His body shook as the bottle slipped out of his hand.