Jimmy: CHASE!

*Chase Peacock enters*

Chase: PRESENT!

Jimmy: I need you to do me a favor.

Chase: COOL! What is it?

Jimmy: I'm gonna be gone for a little so I need you to play me for just a couple nights. No one can know it's you.

Chase: Really?

Jimmy: Yeah. It's a big job and if you screw up I will personally go and fucking kill you in your sleep. You got that?

Chase: Uh... Yeah.

Jimmy: Plus, if you screw up, your going to have to deal with the fan girls for the rest of your life.

Chase: what are fan-?

Jimmy: ANDREW!

*Andrew Call enters*

Jimmy: Your services are needed.

*Andrew picks up Jimmy and carries him away*

Chase: ...ok

*Johnny enters*

Chase: (waves) Hi!

Johnny: WHAT THE HELL? YOU ARE YOU?

Chase: um... Uh... IM St. Jimmy and you better not wear it out... Dude!

Will: What the fuck?

Tunny: Is this guy for real?

Johnny: Where's Jimmy?

Chase: Like I said, I'm right here!

Whatsername: Whose the really attractive guy? Will's boyfriend?

Will: HEY!

Chase: No, I'm St. Jimmy!

Whatsername: Sure. No for real. Who is this?

Johnny: *shines a flashlight on Chase's face* Sooooo, Jimmy, if that is even your name...

(silence)

Chase: Don't wear it out?

Will: *slaps Chase across the face*

Chase: OWWWWWW!

Tunny: Why did you do that?

Will: AH! Jimmy always cuss' when he's hurt! That means this guy isn't the real Jimmy!

Tunny: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard

Whatsername: *slaps Will across the face*

Will: OWWWWWW! FUCK YOU BITCH!

Tunny: ... Your an idiot.

Johnny: And American!

Tunny & Johnny: OHHHHH! *they high-five*

Chase: ... Okay, I'll just be on my way... *tries to sneak away*

Johnny: HEY! Get back here!

Will: *attacks Chase onto the floor*

Chase: GET OFF ME YOU FAT ASS!

Whatsername: What do you expect from a couch potato?

Will: HEY! Leave me alone! Go pick on Tunny or something!

Tunny: HEY! Leave the crippled war veteran alone!

Whatsername: HEY! Shut up!

Johnny: *Grabs Chase by the hair*

Chase: NO! Not the hair!

Johnny: TELL ME WHERE JIMMY IS OR-

Theo: *walks through the door*

Tunny: Have you ever heard of something called knocking?

Theo: *points to Will and Chase* Uh, what's going on here? Is Will fighting with his boyfriend or something?

Tunny: He's gay! I KNEW IT!

Will: Fuck you Theo! And no, Tunny. I'm NOT gay.

Theo: *cough* In denial *cough*

Chase: Id hate to intrude on this conversation but there is a man on me and I'd like him to GET OFF!

Theo: Chase?

Chase: What? NO! I mean... I'm not Chase! I'm St. Jimmy!

Theo: Dude, you're not fooling anyone. What are you doing here?

Johnny: You know this guy?

Theo: Yeah he's one of Jimmy's disciples. His name's Chase.

Chase: NO IT'S NOT!

Whatsername: Do you have something you want to say, Chase?

30 MINUTES LATER...

Chase: *hysterically crying. Will is still sitting on him* ...and he said fan girls would attack, what ever that is, if I messed up then Theo came and ruined my whole plan! And now there's a fat ass on me and everyones interrogating me and... And I just can't TAKE IT ANYMORE! *cries uncontrollably*

Others: ...

Whatsername: wow... He still attractive even when he cries.

Will: *bitch slaps her*

Whatsername: OWWWWWW! BITCH!

Will: Payback!

Tunny: Haha! That's funny because he bitch slapped her then she called him a-

Johnny: *kicks prosthetic leg off Tunny*

Tunny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *falls*

Johnny: Chase, for the love of Mike-

Will: Who's Mike?

Whatsername: Yeah, I don't recall you ever mentioning anyone named Mike.

Theo: Maybe it's a nickname for that awesome director, Michael Mayer-

Will: Or that amazing and attractive actor Michael Esper!

Others: ...

Will: ... Or not.

Johnny: IT WAS JUST AN EXPRESSION!

Theo: Hey! There's no need to yell! Jesus, I-

Johnny: What?

Will: NOT YOU!

Johnny: *cries*

Whatsername: Here we go again...

Johnny: *hides behind Tunny* Tunny, Will is being mean!

Tunny: You're lucky I don't have my gun anymore or else I'd shoot a cap up your ass!

Will: Stop trying to sound black, Tun. You'll never be black, just accept it.

Tunny: *cries* STOP KILLING MY DREAMS!

Chase: *cries* STOP KILLING MY SPINE, YOU HIPPO!

Johnny: *cries* STOP HURTING MY FEELINGS!

Theo: Wow... Nobody likes you Will.

Will: ...

Whatsername: ... Sucks for you!

Jimmy: *walks through the door* Why is everyone crying? Did you guys watch Dr. Phil again or was it Extreme Makeover: Home Edition this time?

Theo: How come you asked Chase to be you and not me? I'd be a PERFECT St. Jimmy!

Jimmy: I'd rather have Melissa Etheridge be me before I would even think about asking you!

Chase: *waving* hi, Saint.

Jimmy: Will, get off my disciple.

Will: But-

Jimmy: NOW!

Will: *gets off of Chase*

Chase: I CAN BREATHE!

Johnny: *attacks Jimmy with a hug* I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Tunny: Wait a second, if Jimmy had left how come you weren't with him, Theo?

Theo: I needed some fresh air cause there's literally no air in Jimmy's pants! I mean his skinny jeans just make it impossible to breathe.

Jimmy: If you can't breathe then why don't you just get out of my clothing?

Theo: Because I love you. Plus everyone else's pants aren't that exciting. Well, almost everyones. Haven't tried Whatsername's yet. *smiles*

Whatsername: And your not going to.

Tunny: Wait, you've been in my pants?

Theo: Yep.

Tunny: And you don't find that disgusting.

Theo: No.

Tunny: Tell me again why we haven't called the cops on this creep.

Johnny: Drugs. Backroom. The police will not be happy to see that.

Tunny: oh yeah. Forgot about that.

Jimmy: Chase-

Chase: Look Saint, I'm sorry! I didn't listen and they found out about me and-

Jimmy: Chase!

Chase: Yeah?

Jimmy: It's cool. But just to let you know, you are NEVER going to be Jimmy again.

Chase: *pouts* Okay.

Jimmy: And don't think that means I'm going to ask you Theo.

Theo: *stops cutting his hair into a side hawk* DAMN IT!

Jimmy: ANDREW!

Andrew: *enters* Yes?

Jimmy: How would you like to be Jimmy for a couple of days?

Andrew: SWEET! *frolics out the door*

Theo: *pouts*

Jimmy: Well see ya later motherfuckers! *exits through door*

Chase: Well it was nice chatting with you all. Even though I was sat on by a potato and totally failed my job.

Johnny: OHHHHH! I get it!

Chase: Hey Johnny!

Johnny: What?

Chase: If you ever need someone to stand in for you, call me.

Johnny: Maybe.

Chase: *leaves the room*

Whatsername: ... Well, he was hot.

Johnny: Yeah but I'm still missing my Jimmy *pouts*

Andrew: MY NAME IS JIMMY AND YOU BETTER NOT WEAR IT OUT!

Will: ...

Tunny: ...

Theo: Let's just end the story here. So-

THE END