A/N: So, my other, longer story got terribly angsty towards the end, and I felt like doing something lighter, fluffier. It's absolutely ridiculous but it was fun writing. I took all the uncharacteristics I could come up with on one hand and threw them in there just for fun. Yeah, that's about it. Oneshot. Have fun.
The one thing Andrea Sachs loved most about her relationship with Miranda was finding out about the unexpected and charming personal quirks that the older woman had. Not the professional perfectionist's quirks, but Miranda's personal ones. For someone with her impeccable public persona, those were quite a few. Annoying little things. Endearing little things. The things nobody but Andy was allowed to see.
For example, Miranda made up for her waken calm and stiffness when she was asleep. She was by far the most mobile and chatty sleeper Andy had ever shared a bed, or even a room, with. She tossed and turned and talked in her sleep, and sometimes she was lying on her back, both arms extended to the sides, her legs entangled in the sheets, and snored loudly. It had only taken Andy about a week sharing Miranda Priestley's bed to realize that if she was going to get any sleep at all, she had to resort to earplugs. She never mentioned this to Miranda, though. Well, she did tell her she slept with earplugs, but she didn't tell her Miranda's sleeping sounds were the reason. As far as Miranda knew, she was as much of a lady asleep as she was awake, and Andy didn't have the heart – or courage - to tell her otherwise.
Miranda had never seemed to be the type that sneezed uncovered, not to mention loud. She was. This Andy had learned the hard way the first time she was around to see Miranda catch a cold. Another reason to use earplugs, Andy had thought, but Miranda looked so miserable Andy wasn't even going to joke about it.
Miranda liked to eat in bed while reading books. Both these things surprised Andy, but most of all she was surprised that Miranda actually ate crackers in bed. Who eats crackers in bed anyway? Who wants to deal with the crumbs? Surely not La Priestly. Yep. Her choice of reading material surprised Andy as well. She would have had a hard time imagining Miranda reading anything at all for pleasure, but Miranda turned out to be a fan of horror novels; Poe, King, Lovecraft. She also had a soft – and apparently very tender – spot for science fiction movies. And she reluctantly admitted to liking Lady Gaga's music. All these things surprised Andy.
But this? This wasn't surprising. This was shocking.
Andy bit her lip as hard as she could when Miranda – the fashion queen who could see the difference between two identical belts and who looked perfect all the time – entered the TV room of their cabin wearing sweat pants and a T-shirt. She knew that if she laughed she would probably have to walk back to New York. From Canada.
"If you tell anyone about this, I will have to hunt you down and kill you", Miranda growled and sat down on the couch next to Andy. "And if you laugh, I will not be held responsible for my actions".
"I'm not going to laugh", Andy said, hoping it was true. "Miranda. You're wearing sweat pants".
"I am fully aware of my clothing, Andrea".
Miranda picked up the remote and looked through the channels until she found something that sparked her interest. Andy fidgeted beside her.
"I'm just curious, but… have you lost your mind?"
"No, only my pretence, and only around you, and only where the paparazzi can't find me. Any more dim-witted questions you absolutely have to have me answer before we watch the movie?"
"You do know that I love you, right?"
Miranda smiled. It made her look fifteen years younger.
"I know. And it's mutual. But you, young lady, still don't get away with laughing at me".
"Can I please take a picture of you with my cell phone camera?"
"Come on. It can't be worse than nude photographs".
"Indeed it can. Stop touching".
"I just want to feel…"
"That much is obvious. Stop it. The movie begins now. Stop fiddling with my clothes, it tickles!"
"You're wearing sweat pants. Oh my God, I love you Miranda".
"Silly girl", Miranda purred and snuggled up against Andy's warm body.
Within fifteen minutes of the movie, Andy was asleep, as was her usual Modus Operandi. Miranda silently shook her head and wrinkled her nose slightly.
She didn't have the heart to tell Andy that the girl farted in her sleep.