Disclaimer: Gee, guys. I think you know I don't own BtVS. And I don't own the song, either.


Field of Innocence

Everything was simpler then, when she had no responsibilities, when her mother did all the hard work in order to keep her and Dawn happy. She was ungrateful, but she was too young to realize it. A brat, some may call her. But she still had her innocence, buried deep within. What about now? Where has her heart gone? She feels trapped in the middle of the battlefield, and she is the one leading the war. There are shots and blood and violence and evil… mostly evil. But her friends? They hide behind her. They are cowards, providing only moral support, as little as they can.

Her heart is now tainted. Is that a fair price to wake up in the middle of the real world? No, not wake up. To be pulled forcefully into it, to be slapped over and over again until she opened her eyes. To be… to be brought back from the dead.

Even after everything, even after showing only courage and force, she still is a coward. Like her friends, no difference. She wants to have someone or something to hide behind, to go back to unawareness, to have her innocence back.

What was warm and colorful back then, now is cold and grey. The sun sends chills down her spine and it's not the object of her happiness, anymore. As a child, she was glad it was sunny outside, she could go out and play. Now? The sun is the only thing that keeps vampires away.

Looking back at her old self, she feels the tears in her eyes burning hatefully because she knows that nothing will be the same again.

Her sister is not actually a human, she is a key.

She, herself, is the Slayer.

She is friends with a witch, a demon and a nerd.

She no longer has toys, but a vampire to beat and have sex with, now and then.

She doesn't believe in anything, anymore. She's skeptic and sarcastic. She's a bitch, most of the time.

But she still remembers her childhood, her field of innocence. She still wants to go back, but she knows she will never give up what she has now to have that back.

Never.