SEASON / SEQUEL: Sequel to SG-1 Chums

CONTENT WARNINGS: It's confusing if you've never watched SMTV: Live or C.H.U.M.S

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THESE PEOPLE. I just really, really love them and am borrowing them. I don't own Stargate, this lot do- Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. And I'm making no money. At all…I own NOTHING.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I know they did a similar Chums to this but it's the idea I had and I don't know if it's at all funny but hey, I got feedback liking the last one and was asked for more, so more you get. Plus there's a bit that I think come from somewhere else but I didn't mean to use it. Tell me what you think and I might write another, I do have an idea already. Enjoy.


The One That's A Sequel


Voiceover Man "Last week on chums…………………………

Teal'c was offering over £150 to Daniel for shoes he didn't own. Will Ant claim his money or will Daniel receive his fortune? Will Teal'c increase his shoe collection? Find out the answers to few of these questions in this weeks chums………………"


ROLL THEME-Daniel, Jack and Sam run around poking each other with umbrellas and trying to push each other into the fountain to the song:-

"Nobody told you comedy could ever be this lame, every week a different show but somehow all the same, we'll be chums forever, no ones lonely with chums………….."




"SG C.H.U.M.S is not filmed at all"

Jack lies on the sofa under a blanket, a pained expression on his face. Daniel walked into the flat through the front door, walked over and picked an apple out of the fruit bowl on the coffee next to Jack. Jack groaned loudly when he was next to him but Daniel was oblivious. He went past Jack and out of the room to the bedrooms. Jack settled back down when Sam came into the flat. Jack sat up a little and groaned.

"Sam" she ignored him. "Saaaaaaaaaaaaaam"

"Yes?" she said.

"I don't feel very well" he said with a whine.

"Oh my poor baby" she went to his side and sat on the edge of the sofa. She stroked his hair.

"Can I have a cup of tea?"

"Of course baby" she smiled. "DANIEL!!!!!" she yelled. Daniel came running into the room.

"Yes, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Jack is ill make him a cup of tea" she said. "And make me one while you're at it"


"Hey, hey, hey, hang on a minute Danny" Jack said weakly.

"Yes Jack?"

"How did you get us out of that problem with the chums?"

"Oh, I let them have the money. They've gone to the Caribbean and we get to stay in the flat" he said. "Now did I do good, or did I do good?" he smiled.

"In Newcastle?" Jack said

"In the rain?" Sam said.

"You pillock Daniel!!" Jack hit him.

"Go make the tea!!" Sam hit him.

"Alright! Alright!" he disappeared back out of the room.

"Oh Sam I feel horrible" Jack said.

"Aw, my poor Jakcy, would a kiss make you feel better?"

"Yes please" he sat up a little and she leant down to kiss him. She was millimetres away when…..

"Ding dong"

"Awwwwwwwwwwww" Jack groaned.

"I'll get it" Sam said. She got up and went to the door. She paused, then pulled it open hard. In the doorway stood Teal'c in a white coat, wearing glasses and a stethoscope, holding a doctor's bag.

"It's Mr Teal'c from the Shoe Emporium" she said confused.

"It's Dr. Teal'c, Mr Teal'c from the Shoe Emporium is my brother" he said.

"You're both called Teal'c?" Sam asked letting him inside.

"There are nine brothers and four sisters in my family" he said.

"All called Teal'c?" Jack said.



"My mother had little imagination and it made things easier for my father. He was very forgetful"

"Oh" Sam said.

"I have come to treat Mr O'Neill. Apparently he is not well"

"No he is not Doctor" Sam said.

"Well let me take a look" Teal'c went over to Jack and began his examination. Daniel returned with some tea.

"Who's this?" he asked.

"Dr. Teal'c" Sam said. Daniel put the down.

"Oh thanks for getting here so quickly Doctor"

"You called him?" Jack asked.



"Why?" Jack motioned for Daniel to come close to him.

"Because I was about to get a snog off Sam when he turned up"

"Sorry Jack"

"You will be" he said

"Go make Dr. Teal'c a cup of tea" Sam said.

"Okay" Daniel smiled, jumped in the air, then left.

"Open wide please" Teal'c said. "And say ah"

"Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" Jack said as Teal'c put a lolly stick in his mouth. He took it back out, then threw it away over the sofa. he then put a thermometer in his mouth.

"Hmmmmmmmm?" he said.

"What is it Doctor?" Sam asked worried.

"I think I need a second opinion" he said. At that point the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it" Sam opened the door to find Janet standing there, in the same gear as Teal'c.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Janet, I'm here to give Dr. Teal'c a second opinion" she said.

"Oh please come in" she said.

"Dr. Janet, thanks for coming so quickly" Teal'c said.

"No problem" she said. "Who's the patient?"

"Hey, wait a minute. How did you get here? He didn't even call you"

"All doctors are psychic" Janet said.

"Really?" Jack asked.

"Yes I am wearing clothes under my white coat" Janet said.


"Here is the patient Doctor" Teal'c said. She went over to Jack, to perform the same examination as Dr. Teal'c. Daniel walked in and looked her. He dropped the tea.

"Daniel" she scolded.

"Sorry, I suddenly don't feel well" he said.

"Oh dear" Janet said. She immediately left Jack and went over to Daniel.

"Hey" Jack complained. Janet felt Daniel's head and he smiled.

"I feel awful" he said putting an ill voice on.

"Oh dear, you poor darling" she said. "You feel very warm, you must come and sit down" she took his hand and led him over to the armchair. She sat him down and sat on the arm. She began to unbutton his shirt, to place the stethoscope on his chest.

"Excuse me?!" Sam said loudly. "What about Jack?" she asked. Janet jumped up.

"Oh yes, of course" she said. "Dr. Teal'c a word" they moved away from the chums and began whispering. Daniel stood and re-buttoned his shirt.

"I agree" Janet said. They turned back round.

"I'm afraid it's bad news" Teal'c said.

"What is it Doctor?" Sam asked.

"I'm afraid Mr O'Neill is going to……….."





"I'm afraid Mr O'Neill is gong to die"



Voiceover man- "Is Jack going to die? Will he get to kiss Sam before then? Will we meet all of Teal'cs siblings before the writer runs out of ideas? Find out next week……………………