She had it coming

Summary: Johnny explains to a girl who had tried to hit on him why he doesn't do relationships.

Notes: Okay here's the order of things that happened that led me to writing this.

1. Watched Nostalgia critic

2. Saw Top Eleven villain songs

3. Heard Cellblock Tango

4. Watched the full thing

5. Got this idea and went on a fanfiction high writing it! XD

Hope you like it! (I am not using all the lyrics)

It was dark; that is all the young girl in her late teens knew as she slowly came to. She almost retched as the stench of blood hit her nose at full force. She glanced around the room, but could only see dark shadows. She tried to move her arms only to find that they were bound up along with her legs. The young girl whimpered as she realized she was tied and bound to the wall.

'Where am I?' She thought to herself.

She slightly jumped when the door opened, allowing light to slightly fill the room. She squinted and could only see a thin outline of a man. "Ah, I see you're awake." A voice broke through the silence. The figure approached the girl, his steel tipped boots clanking against the concrete floors, until she could finally see his face. The girl gasped as she recognized the thin face with those dark eyes. His blackish blue hair hung in unruly spikes all over his head in his face.

"YOU!" The girl cried out. The man nodded, a dark grin slowly spreading on his face. "Ah, so you remember me. How…touching."

"Who are you? Why am I here?" The girl yelled out, getting slightly angry at her captor.

"My name, is Johnny C., but since you had the brain power to remember me and you are going to die anyways; you may call me Nny." The man responded as he walked closer, allowing the girl to notice the knives that were hanging off of his belt. "And certainly if you can remember who I am, you can remember the reason I have brought you to my humble abode."

"I-I don't! Why?" The girl stammered.

"Well, let me set the scene for you," He spat. "I just came into the 24/7 store to get a freaking brainfreezy. You saw me and, for some unknown reason, you started flirting with me." Johnny made a face like he ate something sour. "When you made it clear you weren't taking no for an answer, I had to take matters…into my own hands."

"B-but I was just interested-" The girl tried to say. "BUT THAT WAS NO REASON TO COME ONTO ME! BESIDES," Nny paused, fingering the blade of a nearby machete before looking up at the girl, a crazy look gleaming in his eyes. "I don't do relationships not anymore. Sure, I used to have a few girlfriends, but the break ups were always so….messy." Johnny chuckled at the end, causing a shiver to go through the girls' spine.


"You know how people have these little habits that get you down like Brenda. Brenda liked to chew gum, no, not chew, Pop. Like, I came over to her house one day and there's Brenda; lying on the couch chewing, no, not chewing, popping. So, I said to her, I said; 'Brenda, you pop that gum one more time' and she did. So I took the shotgun out of my pocket and I fired two warning shots- into her head." Johnny ranted as he walked back to the frightened girl. He turned one of his only guns over in his hands, feeling a grin spread onto his features. Nny turned to face the girl. "She had it coming."

She had it coming

She only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I betcha' you would

Have done the same!


"I met Erica Young a while ago and she told me she was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started seeing each other. She'd go to work, She'd come to my house, I'd fix her a drink, We'd have dinner. And then I found out. 'Single' she told me? Single my ass. Not only was she married ...oh, no, he had six husbands. One of those Mormons, you know. So that night, when she came home, I fixed her a drink as usual. You know, some girls just can't hold their arsenic." Johnny cackled. "She had it coming."

She had it coming

She took a flower

In its prime

And then she used it

And she abused it

"It was a murder But not a crime!" Johnny hissed at the young girl who was now shaking visibly.


"Now, I'm standing in the kitchen fixing up some spaghettio's , minding my own business, and in storms my girlfriend Wilma, in a jealous rage. "You have been flirting with the postwoman," she says. She was crazy and she kept screaming; "You have been flirting with the postwoman." And then she ran into my knife. She ran into my knife ten times." Johnny paused and with lightning quick reflexes, he grabbed a knife and threw it. It lodged into the wall a couple inches from the girls' head. "She had it coming."

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!


"I loved Ally Lipchitz more than I can possibly say. She was a real artistic girl...sensitive... a painter. But She was always trying to find herself. She'd go out every night looking for herself and on the way she found Ralph, Greg, Richard, and Ivan. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. She saw herself as alive-" Johnny paused and walked up to the girl until he was just inches away. He grinned darkly, looking even more contorted with the lack of light as he held a dagger to her neck while she just trembled. "and I saw her dead." Nny swept the blade lightly across the girls' throat, only making a small cut. "She had it coming."

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin'

They had it comin' all along

'Cause if they used us

'Cause if they used us And they abused us

And they abused us

"Can you tell me what I did was wrong?" Nny asked the girl. "Those women used me, abandoned me, and pissed me off to my breaking point. They are the ones that were in the wrong. I was doing the world a favor! We don't need any more of those people in the world; it is filled with enough as it is." Johnny paused and walked closer, a machete in his gloved hand. "So don't see this as your death, see it as making the world a purer place."

She had it coming

She had it coming

She only had


To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I betcha

You would

Have done

The same!

Johnny walked out of the room an hour later, blood staining his clothes and face. He slightly chuckled as he hefted his weapon to the bathroom, to wash the red liquid off so he could then go paint the wall.

What could he say; she had it coming.

Notes: I hope you liked it. I altered the lyrics a little to fit Johnny and the fic and I didn't use the whole thing. I enjoyed writing this!

Disclaimer; I do not own JTHM or Cell Block Tango.