This is not good.
I have no idea where this story could possibly be taking me. I don't know how to end it because I'm not sure if I want all this angst or if I want that happy and nearly improbable ending to happen! I feel like I'm watching a drama and I want it to go one way but kinda want it to happen another way and I'm just so torn! I'll, uh, figure something out...I hope.
Meanwhile, enjoy my little concoction! Sorry it's a bit short!
All characters are owned by Yuki Amemiya and Yukino Ichihara, except for Suzume Jager and Caelus (although the idea of the Fyulong is theirs).
I sit at the windowsill and wonder about what it is I know now. All of it is just adding up to more questions that I have no answers for and all of those answerless questions lead to at least three more that are impossible to inquire about. I continue staring out the window, lulling over the choices I have.
This is how Teito finds me when he timidly knocks on the door and peers through a crack. I nod once without looking at him and he lets himself in quietly, trying not to disturb the fragile peace contained within the room. He waits patiently until I stand, stretch myself out like a rubber band, and watch him in turn. We stay in this position for a few minutes.
"You're going after her, aren't you?" Teito's voice is soft but firm. I nod and he lets out a breath of relief. He probably didn't notice that he'd been holding onto it at all. When he looks back at me, he smiles and I can't help but smile back at him. I surprise myself; I haven't truly smiled since she left.
As the silence between us deepens, I stare at this boy and realize how fascinating humans are. We may not be so special in the long run, but we all have a part to play in the world. What it may be is yet to be determined by our actions and the people we meet with. As this begins to dawn on me, I take a deep breath and release it slowly. Everything is the same, and yet it all looks slightly brighter than a moment before and I feel as if the clouds are rolling back.
My smile grows into a timid grin and I discover that it had begun to feel foreign to me. Everything begins to crawl back to me and I tell myself that I can't continue to brood upon my situation like this. I have to do something, and I will.
"I have to find Suzume and bring her back," I reply. Saying her name again after so long is a strange feeling. But it's a good feeling, too. "And I think I know where to start."
"If you're correct and I'm attracted to Suzume's soul, then I should be able to figure out where she is through that connection." As I explain my plan to find her, Frau and Castor jerk back in their seats, stunned.
"Y-you're saying her name again?" Frau asks with an astounded expression. He turns to look at Castor, and the russet-haired bishop can only watch me with his mouth agape.
"Yeah, I guess I am," I reply, sheepishly. I feel a slight blush crawl into my cheeks and then it's my turn to be surprised. I look down to try to cover it, but it's too late and the two of them are already on my case, peering down into my face.
"That's cute, Lab. Glad you found someone." I know that Frau's only joking but that doesn't make it any better and I can feel my face turning an even deeper red. I'm not even sure how blushing is possible since I'm technically dead.
"I had my suspicions since that day I found you under a tree with her," Castor adds, making it even more difficult for me to keep my emotions in check.
"Shut up!" I inch away from the two interrogators with a sulky look on my face. "Can we just get back to the topic here?"
"Alright! Fine! Sheesh, can't take a joke?" Frau quickly sits himself down, but Castor rubs my head affectionately before taking his time to get back to his seat in the barren greenhouse. "So, tell us. Right at this moment, do you know where Jager is?"
I twitch when he says her name and he stiffens. When he figures out that I'm not going to punch him like I did Castor, he relaxes and I give him an apologetic smile before continuing.
"I can't pinpoint her exact location, but I know the general direction she's headed in," I inform them. "If I can figure out a way to travel faster than her, I should be able to intercept her at some point and convince her to come back."
"Look, we understand that you want her back, but you have more pressing duties here at the Church and there's no telling whether you'll consume her soul or not if you do find her. We need a better reason for you to go, Lab." Castor has the most serious look on his face than I'd ever seen. But I know that they're cracking and I just need to push them a bit more to the edge and I'll be able to go after Suzume.
"Are you saying that forgiving a family member isn't a good enough reason?" I plead, trying to end this discussion quickly and in my favour. If I ever want a chance at catching her then I need to leave as soon as possible. Another moment and I could lose her trail; I don't need them knowing that she's distant enough for the connection to be severed. "She's more than a sister to the rest of you and there's no doubt in my mind that you want her back as much as I do. She was important to our cause, and she's also an important person in our lives. I can figure out a way to restrain myself from taking her soul on the way there. Just please let me go after her!"
"As long as you come back within the month," Castor replies without hesitation and I'm taken aback for a short moment. It seems that he's thought this through already and he knew my arguments before I had even begun to voice them. Nevertheless, I grin at my companions and the instant I do the greenhouse explodes to life, literally. The blooms are twice as large as they usually are and their hues more vivid than I've ever seen before. I guess they can feel my happiness and are rather excited that I've come back to my original self.
"Alright! Within the month, Castor! Take care of the greenhouse for me while I'm away, you two!" I shout while I quickly rush out and jump on a Hawkzile. The moment it takes off and speeds away from the church, I holler with glee. I've never felt such strong emotion before and the exhilaration frees me from the rest of the bonds that I've tied myself to over the course of the past couple of months.
I zip away from the church grounds and hold out my left arm. The necklace that has been wrapped around my wrist since Suzume left dangles for a moment before a thin silver line shoots out and points south. As I change direction it flashes gold and grows warm for a moment before reverting to its original state. I stare at the sparrow charm for a moment, dumbfounded. This has never happened before, but I quickly shake it off and decide that I'll figure out the rest of its perks later. The only thing that I'm certain about is that its guiding me towards the one I want the most.
Suzume, I'm coming. Don't be reckless, young Huntress.*
A small breeze gently travels past, scattering the leaves of the trees below me as I head toward District 6. A sparrow announces my arrival and takes flight into the unknown.
*Ah, just a small note here. Jager, means "Hunter". Lab is just using a reference to her name. I changed it to its feminine form to suit my purposes.
As well, Suzume means "Sparrow", so I thought I would use that here, too. Don't worry, it's meaningful.