Greetings, fellow humans. Today you shall read a new chapter of Blood+ in a different way. Since I have nothing else to say, I won't say anything. :D
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLOOD+
Blood+ in a Different Way
"You're... you're that tall lady from last night!" Horushi said. "Who are you anyway?"
Hagina paused, thinking of what she was supposed to say. It's been a long time, and anyone can forget how he/she would act in front of a person. She couldn't get her "How to Talk to Horushi After Thirty Years" manual because he might think that she's some kind of nerdy bookworm who still needs to read manuals on how to talk. So she just said, "I'm Barney, the yellow dinosaur!"
Horushi just stared at her. Then, Kai arrived.
"Hey!" she said. "You're that hobo's mom!" She looked at Horushi who was completely frozen. "Did you tell her about poodle fur again?! Damn Riku!" She tried to punch Hagina, but she quickly dodged and accidentally opened her high-tech violin case. Kai fell right into it.
"Where on earth am I?" she asked. The place was dark and damp.
Kai: Don't tell me it's some kind of horror scene again!
Do you want a horror scene?
Kai: No! *shivers* Please continue.
It felt like an eternity of darkness. She could move around, but she never ended up anywhere very useful.
"I know this... I'm in another dimension! Karu's facebook post was right!"
Then, something sharp hit her on the nose. She reached forward to find out what it was. She touched some kind of wooden pole. It seemed to be very new, since it was very well-varnished and sturdy. She reached higher, to the where the blade is. Its design was strange. The blade was huge, almost one foot in length. It had channels around it as if its purpose was to spread blood all over.
"Ohhhhhhh!" a guy in a lute suit with a triangle for a head sang while floating in the empty space. "Kai Miyasguku is a good Miyagusuku, and a good Miyagusuku is she! Her boyfriend is Moo and her cellphone is blue and I think that she likes Horushi!"
"Shut up, shape!" Kai said as she threw the spear into the guy's triangle head.
"Nooooo! I have three kids and I lack lipids so please don't kill meeeee..." he sang for the very last time before dying.
"Kai... Oh, Kaaa-ai. Wake up, Kai!"
Kai groaned. She opened her eyes and saw Horushi and the tall lady.
"You fell into Ms. Hagina's violin case. Luckily, she pulled you out," Horushi said.
"H-hagina? Wait... YOU'RE THE HOBO'S MOM!" Kai yelled and quickly got up.
"H-hobo's mother?" Hagina asked.
"Wait, Kai! She isn't the hobo's mom!" Horushi said.
"So, you hypnotized my baby brother by talking about poodle fur, eh? Take this!" Kai kicked Hagina. Hagina quickly dodged and caught Kai's foot and threw her into the sand.
"Kai!" Horushi shouted.
"Kai, she's not the hobo's mother!"
"Oh. She isn't?"
"No. She's the one who plays violin in the corner whom Riku is addicted to other that her hammer."
"Oh... You sound like a girl while saying that."
"Nothing!" Kai turned around to apologize for attempting to cut Hagina's head off and pull her heart through her neck, but Hagina already disappeared.
Stop interrupting, Kai!
Kai: I'm just so happy :D Thank you very much!
Kai: You finally mentioned my line which you interrupted in Chapter 2!
Kai: You know, the one which says, "I'm gonna cut your head off and pull your heart through your neck!"
Yeah, but since I already mentioned it now, you won't be able to threaten Riku in later chapters to stop interrupting this story despite the fact that you interrupt more often.
"We've been trying to pull you out of there for hours."
"Wait- hours? But I've only been there for like three minutes."
"No, Kai. You fell in at five o'clock. It's seven o'clock now, see? The moon's up high and we can see UFOs flying all over the place."
"I've been inside for... two hours..."
Kai: Wait a sec...
What is it now, Kai?
Kai: How on earth did that happen? I mean, she's been in there for like two minutes but its actually been two hours? It's just... impossible!
Not in this world.
Kai: I mean, how did that even become possible?
Don't worry. You'll find out at the end of the chapter.
Kai: Yeah, and then you'll forget to put it in and place it instead in the next chapter which you will name "What was Supposed to be in Chapter 3 but Unfortunately Didn't Make It".
No, this time, I promise.
"Can I borrow some of your money?"
"My... uh... dog needs a gown for prom."
"Oh. Here you go." After giving him the money, Horushi quickly ran away and never came back.
Kai: Hah! You made a mistake!
What is it now, Kai?
Kai: You said that Horushi quickly ran away and never came back. But if he never came back, how would the story turn out, then?
Horushi ran away but will come back soon. Happy now?
Kai: Yes. Yes I am.
Later that night, Horushi came home.
Riku was the first one who saw him. She just opened her mouth and pointed to the door. Everyone else followed her stare.
"What on earth... did you do to your hair?!" Georgie said.
"I've finally overcome my fear of ketchup and as a celebration, I've dyed half of my hair red," Horushi said.
"Aha! I knew you weren't gonna buy a gown for your dog! You don't even have a dog!" Kai said.
"Yes, I do! He's right over there!" He pointed to a corner in the room with nothing there but a dust bunny.
"You just made your dog up so that you can turn it into an excuse for illegally dyeing your hair!"
"Dyeing hair is not illegal, Kai."
"It is for students. And as your elder sister, I have to teach you how to discipline yourself!"
"Look me in the eye, young man!"
"Look, just... don't insult my dog ever again!"
Horushi ran upstairs, his eyes flooding with tears (like a girl).
"What a crybaby!" Kai complained.
"Kai, honey," Georgie said, "it wasn't very nice of you to just yell at your brother like that."
"But he did something illegal, mom!"
"Don't worry. I'll talk to him." Georgie went to Horushi's room and knocked on his door.
"Horushi, honey, are you alright?"
There was no response.
"Horushi, answer me! C'mon, Kai was only concerned about your good citizenship. She didn't mean to yell at you."
"Honey, I'm coming in." To Georgie's surprise, she saw Horushi eating up his TV. "Horushi! Put down your TV!"
"B mmm, m hngh (But mom, I'm hungry)!" Horushi said with his mouth full.
"If you're hungry, we can eat dinner at the beach tonight. Sound like fun?"
"B(But), *swallows last piece of TV* what about Kai and Riku?"
"They've finished eating. So, what do you think?"
TO BE CONTINUED
And now, folks, you will find out how Hagina's violin case works and where she got it! In your face, Kai!
Somewhere in the 1800s, when Hagina was still eighteen, Horushi already began looking for the mysterious singer. He told Hagina about it so on some days, he took her with him for the search.
Horushi felt like he needed to go to the bathroom, so he decided to pee in the bushes. He has already been staying in there for five minutes so Hagina got impatient.
"Does it really take five minutes for men to relieve themselves?"
"I'm not necessarily... peeing."
"Does it really take five minutes for men to answer the call of nature?"
"Look, I'm constipated!"
She took her violin and played her song again. Then, she heard someone call out to her.
"Who said that?"
"Gina, who are you talking- oh man, here it comes!"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Horushi, remember? Uh...uhmmghhh!"
"Where are you?"
"I'm in the bushes!"
Hagina walked deeper into the woods (meaning she left Horushi behind). She eventually found herself on a clearing with a huge willow tree in the middle.
"Hagina!" the voice said. "I'm over here!"
Hagina saw an eight-year-old boy waving at her from the willow tree. But she was to scared to go anywhere near her.
"Who are you? Why did you call me here?"
"I'm a friend!"
"How did you know my name?"
"I have a present for you!"
"You're already wearing it!"
Hagina noticed something heavy on her shoulder. She looked at it and and saw a black, fancy violin case with silver linings.
"What is this?"
"You can keep valuable things inside." Then, the little boy ran away towards the horizon.
"Wait, I don't even know your name!" Hagina chased the boy, but he just disappeared. She decided to go home and found an angry Horushi in her room.
"Where on earth did you go?!" Horushi said while tapping his foot (like a girl).
"Well... um..." She showed Horushi her new violin case.
"Hey! A violin case! Here, put my cheesecake inside!" Horushi took the violin case from Hagina, opened it, and threw his cheesecake inside.
"H-Hey! My violin was in there!" Hagina said.
"Oops! Sorry! It's hard to find a place to keep all of my food these days, you know?"
"Ugh, I don't even want to open it anymore. My perfectly good violin..."
Weeks later, she finally had the courage to open the case and face her damaged violin. To her surprise, the inside of the case was actually bigger than she thought. She pulled out her violin (which was in perfect condition), then pulled out Horushi's cheesecake, still in shape and still fresh.
"Is that my cheesecake?" Horushi butted in. "Gimme ze cheesecake!" Horushi grabbed the cheesecake from Hagina and gobbled it up.
"H-Horushi, that thing is stale! Spit it out, quick! Before you get a stomach ache!"
"Ewak, iya! (Relax, Gina!) A ud os ey ey. (The food doesn't taste stale.)"
"Don't eat with your mouth full!"
And there you have it, guys! Where Hagina got her awesome magical violin case and how it works! Who the kid was, you say? I don't know! I just made him up. But don't worry, you'll meet him again soon... Any questions?
Kai, you've been the only one who keeps interrupting the story in this chapter, you know?
Kai: Yeah, But I've got a question!
Kai: I don't get it.
Hagina got her awesome violin case from some weird little boy two hundred years ago and it contains an endless vacuum of pure darkness which can slow down the effects of time.
Kai: I'm gonna need a translator for this.
Good luck with that.
END OF CHAPTER