Hey so you probably all forgot about me. And this story. Either that or you all hate me. But surprise I'm back. I really doubt it will be for long. This chapter may be be shorter and choppy and unedited but I don't have the energy to proof read it right now. I feel this overwhelming guilt that I need to give you guys this update as soon as possible. I shouldn't have even written this chapter because I'm in the middle of midterms. So let me just give you all a quick update on where I have been. I have been absorbed with buckets of homework ever since school started again. You all don't know how many times I've started this chapter. I lacked inspiration and motivation to even do this story any more. No one really had reviewed or favorited or followed since June and overall I had been having a pretty sucky year. So now here is the long awaited chapter. Enjoy it please! And shoot me a review because as much as this is my baby story I want you guys to like what is happening.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games or the franchise or anything spectacular about it. I own a lot of objects and ideas around the series though but sadly I will never be Suzanne Collins.
He had left faster than the wind. And all I wanted to do was hit myself. I was so stupid! How could I let myself fall in love? Was I even in love? Three weeks suddenly felt like just another long day. Maybe I shouldn't have said it? Then what? What would Flint have said when I just flashed him back a sappy smile, kissed his cheek and said what? Thanks for the flowers and love? There really isn't something to say to those words. Deep down I knew that seeing Flint made me so happy. But was happy what I truly wanted? Happy. I groaned in disgust of my own life decisions. Instead of walking away or staying strong I just let myself collapse on the edge of the train tracks and sob. I wouldn't have stopped if cold hands hadn't lifted me up.
Why did I do it? I have no real reason. After all she was just another girl I had kissed. Not any more special or unique. Maybe I had only fallen so hard for her because I was young. Because she was beautiful. Because she was the first girl I kissed. Because she was the first true friend I had. Because it felt so forbidden. Because I was exactly like my father. Maybe she couldn't be stolen away by a Mellark because she was one but that didn't mean anyone else wouldn't. Who wouldn't want Rye? I was tired of viewing her as a trophy or gold. So on complete impulse I reached out my two numb hands and lifted off the ground.
"It seems that the train station is the only place we really get to see each other." I saw her chuckled through her sobs. She had to be crying over him. Why else would she be draped over the tracks that her boyfriend had just departed on? "Do you want me to bring you home? I promise I will leave you alone forever if that's what you want." So badly I wanted her to say she did. I wanted to find closure. I wanted her to reject me again, so brutally that I would see no attraction in the young woman. Instead the sniffling girl desperately trying to wipe away her running nose muttered a soft "no."
My body locked down. Now what? Does she not want to go home? Does she want me to just walk away? Does she know what I've become? "So just to be clear you don't want to go home."
"Please take me anywhere but here…" Even hoarse her voice rang in my ears giving me that goofy smile like she always used to do. I guess that the Seam Charm and serious face could work on everyone but her.
"As you wish Ms. Mellark." The walk was cold and awkward as the silence hung between thicker than the robes people in the Capitol wore. "Umm you have changed a lot." Absentmindedly she looked down at herself.
"Nope not really. If you're referring to last night that was all just an illusion. Maybe I should reprimand you for checking me out but, I'm just going to ignore it. The pumps gave me five inches. The dress was absolutely not my choice! I had my but hanging out one end and boobs on the other. I'm pretty sure that my father had heart failure. He fought with my stylist for a while but it was already too late." I took in her story like a man starving, treasuring every word. I was also glad that the need for icebreakers was gone. "What about you?! I certainly haven't changed more than you."
Over two years puberty had done me well I suppose. Now I could tower over Rye easily. My boyish features had evolved into a chiseled man face. The thing I hated about looking like I did what I was hot and I knew it too. I used it to feed my arrogance and attitude. "Well if you're talking about the voice, yeah it got deeper. But I'm still the same Bow." Not really. "See, same hair. Same eyes, same clothes." Same intense love for a girl who would never love him back. Rye just laughed and wiped away some of the remaining tears from her eyes. By now we were back at my house. I opened the door and she only cocked an eyebrow at me.
"So now you have a house in Twelve?" I stepped in the house and removed my dusty snow covered boots and shrugged my jacket off my shoulders. She followed suit and jumped on the leather sofa.
"Not really. The only reason I'm still here is because my mom is in the local hospital. She has been having migraines a lot lately. But, if you ask me I think it's just from the anxiety of Dad seeing your mom for the first time in twenty years. I think she though he would drop her and run to your mom instantly." Rye gnawed on her bottom lip just like she used to do if she was thinking.
"I think my mom has the same condition. Except the fact of her running away with your dad. My mom had a mental breakdown the other night. It was actually the first one in years. Of course she would never come back from the coo-coo house if I had told her about you." I found it hard to believe that the famous Katniss Everdeen could ever be sick over seeing her old best friend. She was always made out to be the strongest and bravest person in all of Panem.
"Can I ask you something?" Rye looked puzzled by my sudden outburst.
"Sure, I guess."
"Do you love him?" Rye's face burned red within seconds.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALTZ INTO MY LIFE AGAIN AND ASK ABOUT MY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP? QUITE FRANKLY I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND HOW YOU KNOW ABOUT FLINT!" I really had done it now. Things were all going so well too. We had opened up to each other. Was it wrong of me to expect that we could go right back to where things left off. She hadn't kissed me back then. What made me think her lips would be frozen in time along with my heart.
I don't think it was the question that made me angry. I think it was the fact that he could ask me it and I couldn't give him or myself a straight answer either. So the only rational thing to do was to storm out. At that moment I hadn't cared that he had been the only pick me up when I was upset or to take me anywhere but home. He could have hated me. I had left him. Never spoken one last word or said goodbye. I was selfish. Because I don't think that I could have faced him or left if I had to think about it. The past two years had been me recreating myself to be who I thought was Rye Rose Mellark. Maybe Flint was part of that me. But Bow couldn't be. Just as much as Gale couldn't with my mother. We redefine ourselves.
"Did Flint leave?" Blaze came out of the house to wrap a blanket around my shivering shoulders. It had just begun to snow again. "I didn't get to say goodbye."
My eyes clouded over again. "Yeah, he left." Blaze hugged me tight with that brotherly protective hug.
"You're going to be okay you know?" All I could focus on was his arms around me so I squeezed them back.
"Yeah I know."
"You want to talk about it?" I heard a stool drag across the kitchen floor.
"Is someone here?"
"Rye you're my sister, you come first."
"Laurel? Is that you?"
I saw her scurry across the hall bringing a sweet smell of cookies along with her. "Hey Rye. Sorry I can leave if you and Blaze need to talk."
No one needed to make anymore sacrifices for me anymore. No one. "No Laurel, its fine. I'm the real burden here. I should have known that you would be here. If I remember Blaze correctly he told me about you coming over here today. I just haven't been listening that much lately."
"Okay but only if you insist."
"I completely and entirely want you to stay Laurel." And what did I do after that? I ran. Only up the stairs this time but it was all the same. I never really faced my issues. I ran from all of them. I ran from Bow. I ran from confrontation. I ran from the truth. I ran from my feelings.
Lying across my bed I let myself slip into a deep slumber. In my dream Flint held my hand and hummed sweet lullabies into my ear. Everything was peaceful with a serene sunset topping off the day. It felt almost too good to have the opportunity to kiss him again. The affection was better than any other I had ever witnessed. My lips just collided with his and I could feel his heartbeat quicken. To me there was nothing sexier than when Flint smiled while we kissed. I didn't need any tongue action or overly long violent kisses. The simple smiling kiss warmed my entire body from head to toe. But breaking the kiss was just as good as the lip locking itself. Because when we released I could take in the beauty I could bring out in him. With my head across his chest I jumped a little when the soft vibrations of the humming on his chest became a brash deep tone. "Can I ask you something?" Now sitting up both our eyes met. Blue on Green.
"Sure." I sang the single word.
"Do you love me?" The perfect sunset, slow and steady crashed down into the forest it was sinking into. The ground began to melt away and I slipped in the slimy reissue that was the grass and flowers. Flint tried to reach out to grab me but he was too far away. Only the trees remained intact. I desperately reached out my hand for the branch to pull myself out of the dark melting hole. Once again I failed slipping farther into the blackness. I was done. Gone. At the very last second a hand shot out. I grabbed it with all my life looking at who my savior was. The all too familiar face belonged to Bow Hawthorne. I heaved a sigh of relief letting him pull me up when a panic set in. He would ask me the question too. "You can make it go away Rye. You have the answer." Bows words gave my body a surge of power and I let go of his hold on me. I gave in to the hole. Letting myself fall.
I let out a loud scream jolting awake from my nightmare. It wasn't dark anymore. The sun shone in through my blinds and I rose relieved of the grief. It was only a dream. I chanted this a few times. Maybe the more I said it the more I would start to believe it. But both my brain and my heart knew this wasn't just a dream.
Thanks for Reading down to here! I love you all remember that and hopefully we will all see each other soon! If you don't see me around fanfiction shoot me an impatient review. Not like Get going. But like where are you girl?!