To have and to hold- CH1

Jane Rizzoli bolted upright in the bed as she awoke with a striking recollection of where she was. She rubbed roughly at her foggy eyes.

"Damn it" She mumbled through gritted teeth.

Jane looked down at the sleeping form curled up against one side of her body. The crease in the brow and the slight pout to the lips told Jane that her movements had disturbed the peaceful body that now seemed to be clinging to her.

Jane sighed and slowly sank back beneath the covers to the temptingly soft and warm place she had so abruptly recently vacated.

"Maura, I know you're awake." Jane spoke in a slightly hushed tone.

Maura's body tensed a little and she threw an arm over Jane's middle trying to pin her in place. Maura shook her head and pushed her face into the pillow.

"Not really." She whispered.

"What the hell am I doing here?" Jane announced to the room unconsciously moving further into Maura as a response to her snuggling before realising what she was doing and huffily shifting away to a cold and uninhabited area of the large bed.

Maura seemed undeterred by Jane's frustration and stretched out in the bed like a cat, yawning and arching her back in something a kin to one of her Yoga poses. Jane quickly turned away.

"It's Saturday." Maura stated sleepily as if this information would explain all.

"Yes." Jane said flatly "The question was not what day is it?"

Maura finally opened her eyes if only to roll them and then look at the ceiling.

"Last night was Friday night, girls night and it was my turn to host." She expanded.

"I know that Dr Obvious I was referring to the fact that despite the large and cosy spare bed you have in the other room I again seem to have woken up in your bed in significantly less clothing than is strictly appropriate."

"I like the little short shorts you wear" Maura teased as she lifted the covers exposing said items and illustrating her point perfectly.

Jane tugged hard at the bed clothes in Maura's hands and made an exaggerated effort to completely tuck herself tightly into the duvet her annoyance visibly escalating which only increased Maura's amusement.

Maura clambered a little less gracefully than usual out of the bed a sure sign Jane thought that she wasn't the only one to drink too much last night. The petite woman deftly snagged a robe from the back of her door and stepped around to hold it out to Jane, just far enough away so that Jane would have to get out of the bed and stand in front of her in her "short shorts" as Maura had dubbed them in order to accept it.

Jane scowled and got out of the bed trying to straighten up and give her friend her best defiant look but the obvious up and down appraisal that Maura gave her along with a wicked grin and the hint of a wink made Jane self consciously turn her body in on itself as she snatched at the fluffy robe and violently pulled it on.

Jane bent to collect her crumpled pile of clothes and headed for the sanctuary of the bathroom as Maura stood watching her go.

"Jane." Maura finally called loud enough for Jane to hear from the bathroom.

A moment later Jane heard Maura's voice much closer and guessed she must be outside the bathroom door.

"Please don't be upset." Maura said calmly "It was all completely innocent."

Maura paused waiting for a response that Jane didn't have.

"I'll make some breakfast." Maura added before Jane heard her move off.

Jane looked at her image in the mirror as she turned on the faucet and filled the sink. She was a mess, inside and out. Jane splashed her face with water trying to wake up and not just from last night's deeply contented sleep. Maybe she was over-reacting, Maura was right; they had often slept in the same bed. In fact now she thought about it they had spent more of their "girls' nights" sleeping in one bed than they had spent in their own respective beds.

But things had changed.

Jane pushed the memory out of her mind and having slipped on last night's jeans and a sweater vowed to pull herself together and go eat breakfast.

Her resolve lasted all of the time it took her to reach the kitchen where she found Maura sitting up at the counter munching on a bowl of Jane's favourite cereal, a second bowl and some coffee lay invitingly beside her. Jane felt a sudden rush of adoration as she took in fully the normally flawless and impeccably presented Doctor looking so natural in an old t-shirt of Jane's, her hair tied back loosely and free of makeup.

Maura feeling she was being watched met Jane's gaze with a full smile, upon which Jane realized she had been stood staring at her best friend with a goofy smile on her face for far longer than was advisable for a woman in her condition.

"Do you know that cereals marketed directly to children have 85% more sugar, 65% less fibre, and 60% more sodium than cereals marketed for adult consumption?" Maura asked

"I figure that's why they taste so good" Jane shrugged and ambled over to take her place next to Maura.

After a few small mouthfuls of puffs and a long sip of coffee Jane spoke.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly not looking at Maura. "I know I'm probably making this more awkward than it needs to be." Jane shook her head at herself and smiled slightly.

Maura without thinking took Jane's hand which lay upon the counter and gave it a light squeeze. Jane had flinched away at the sudden contact but quickly rescued the gesture by placing her other hand over Maura's preventing the Doctors pulling away.

"I thought we agreed that we would get past this and go back to things being normal, as if last Friday nights incident hadn't happened." Maura began. "But then you spent the week avoiding me, calling me Dr Isles at work and when I text you about plans for last night you ignored me completely." Maura searched Jane's face for an explanation.

Jane to her credit looked a little shame faced and quickly looked at the ground uncomfortably but she held on to Maura's hand.

"I would have text you back..." She offered

"When you had formulated some kind of an adequate excuse not to come?" Maura put in.

"I ..." Jane stopped deciding to be totally honest. "Well maybe." Jane shrugged and pushed her wayward curls behind her ear finally releasing Maura's hand and sitting up in her stool. "Look, I am sorry, really and I will try to stop freaking out, I promise."

Maura nodded "Okay." This was enough for now. "So I will see you and Casey at dinner tomorrow?" Maura cleaned away the bowls as Jane finished her coffee.

"I'll be there. Not sure about Casey." Jane replied getting up to place her coffee mug in the sink where Maura was washing things up. Jane felt the closeness of Maura like heat rising as she leant over Maura's form and quickly backed up a step.

"Which reminds me, I am supposed to meet him in an hour." Jane looked at her watch more to illustrate a point than check the time. "I better head back to my place and change." Jane kept backing up until she hit the sofa and retrieved her jacket and slipped on her sneakers. "It will be fine Maura." Jane said with a confidence she didn't really feel.

Maura wanted to ask what exactly it was that would be fine, she didn't appreciate vague statements like this, but she stayed in the kitchen and watched as her friend made her way to the door.

"Sure." She smiled a little too much "I'll see you tomorrow then." She hoped she had come off as more genuine than she felt. "Have a nice day." She called as Jane backed awkwardly out of the front door throwing an apologetic smile over her retreating shoulder.

Maura felt the happiness and complete fulfilment she had experienced on waking up with Jane this morning finally fizzle out totally as she watched the Detective leave and the reality that Jane was on her way to meet with her Fiancé rudely burst Maura's happy little bubble.

The truth was that although Maura was much better at concealing her emotions and keeping things separate than her friend, even she was finding this much more difficult than she had admitted, even to herself.

Jane had been dating Casey for just over a year now. Maura didn't really like to think about when it had started because it marked a time when she and Jane had had such a difficult period in their friendship, when issues of trust and betrayal and loyalty around Jane's involvement with agent Dean and the shooting of Maura's Father had all but destroyed them.

Maura had found it much easier to forgive Jane for the shooting than she had found it to forgive her for what she felt was basically Jane choosing Gabriel Dean over Maura. That this was all wrapped up in Maura's jealousy and that the fact that she was in love with Jane was something she had only acknowledged little by little as they rebuilt their relationship and Maura had agonised over why it meant so much to her.

Just over a fortnight ago when Jane had spent the afternoon moodily hovering over Maura in the morgue with something obviously on her mind Maura had thought, maybe hoped a little that Jane was having problems with Casey that she wanted to discuss. Jane had however finally conceded that Casey had proposed marriage and casually that she had accepted. Maura had been surprised but quickly congratulated Jane who had typically made light of the whole thing before dismissing it completely to discuss a case.

Maura had been aware that with Jane's track record the fact that the relationship had lasted so long must mean that both parties had strong feelings for each other, however as Maura had tended to avoid spending time with the couple and preferred to see Jane on her own she hadn't realised that something as serious as marriage was likely.

Maura blamed her actions last week on the fact that she had been shaken by the announcement of an engagement and a desperate feeling that she may be losing Jane. Maura had not expected the reaction she had gotten from Jane but whatever had happened between them that night it was clear to Maura that Jane was happy with her decision to marry Casey and that Maura was just going to have to get used to this. It hurt but Maura could deal with that and anything else as long as she still had her BFF. Still it hurt, a lot.