Hiya! :D I have a new oneshot for you!

I got this idea last year and finally decided to write it out because I wanted to write something funny and happy and this kept popping up in my mind as the best choice. :D

That, and because I have always loathed James and wanted to bash him 100% and was in the mood to bash recently.

Anyway, I will be updating more fics soon, like Proposal and Unlikely Intrusion and others that desperately need updates. I haven't forgotten about them. :) Also, expect more oneshots because summer is not over yet!

Disclaimer: I think this is the only thing I loathe more than James. Well this and Terrance. *shudder* TS does not belong to the likes of me. -_-

Now onto the story! Please Read and Review for me, thanks! Enjoy I hope! :)


A sigh left her as she lay on her bed, unable to sleep. Then all at once the tears started coming. And they would not stop. Closing her eyes bitterly, Sam sniffled and shook her head at her own mistake, her own lack of thought. "How could I have been so stupid?" she mumbled brokenly, as she kept crying.

Rolling over in her bed, she reached over and turned on the lamp. And instantly she was greeted with his face. The face that currently made her feel like the biggest idiotic moron that ever lived. "How did I not see through him?" she asked herself, self-hate in her tone because she knew she should have seen it coming.

It had been all a set-up after all, it was the exact kind of thing she and other spies just like her were trained to figure out. But her training hadn't worked because this man, this villain had been low enough to create a plan which wasn't centered around WOOHP, but her instead.

Glaring through her tears, Sam stared hatefully at the picture of James, the boy who had turned her into a laughing stalk at WOOHP. Although Jerry and her friends had been more than understanding, she was sure others were mocking her right now, questioning her abilities as a spy for being stupid enough to fall for a manipulator that had no interest in her whatsoever and was only after her so that he could steal an invisibility potion. That was what made it hurt so badly to be honest.

It wasn't even that he was a villain, it was just the fact that he had no feelings for her. It wasn't that she wanted him or anything but to be humiliated the way she had been, to be told she was pathetic and that she wasn't worth even this jerk's attention...it had hurt deep down.

And part of her believed it was her lack of a decent, stable boyfriend that had made her fall for James so quickly. But there was more to it, wasn't there? She thought a guy finally liked her for everything that she was: a hardworking girl, a strong leader and a honestly, a bit of a nerd. "But no..." Sam spat, glaring harder at his image. "He just used all that and then mocked me."

Breathing deeply Sam could feel how angry she was right now. She was so mad she wanted to go back to the WOOHP prisons, track James down and use him as a punching bag.

Knowing she needed some kind of release, and knowing she couldn't really get away with going in and beating James up, Sam reached for his photo. Grabbing the frame, she quickly tugged the photo out of it. Shooting it another glare she was about to rip it to pieces when she stopped, her throat chocking up as her tears started again.

Dropping the photo on the bed, Sam went back to crying as agony filled her. How was she ever going to move on from this? As sad as it was she knew she had really liked that loser before she learned the truth.

And now, despite breaking up with him and hating him with her very being she was still wondering in the back of her mind, what it would have been like if he had actually fallen for her? What it would have been like if he was willing to apologize and tell her he actually liked her? What it would be like for some guy that she actually had eyes for to finally return her feelings? For that to EVER happen for real?

As she lay there crying with her face buried in her pillow out of shame and broken heartedness, she didn't hear the window creak upon nor feel the chilly night air rush in, nor hear the footsteps of someone entering her room. She heard and noticed nothing, too distracted by her sobs of despair until a voice suddenly spoke out to her in a clearly pointed way.

"Well...you look like crap. What happened?"

Hearing the familiar, deep, masculine voice, a gasp left Sam as she kept her head down. It wasn't HIM was it? No, why would he be here now? But that voice was just too well known to her to forget and she found herself whipping around to face the voice.

And when she did, sure enough he was standing there right at the foot of her bed in a black leather jacket and dark jeans, with an eyebrow cocked towards her and his trademark smirk sitting on his lips while his sea-coloured orbs glinted with amusement.

Instantly, a scowl formed on her face and her eyes narrowed into slits of rage. Tim Scam was the last person she wanted to deal with right now. She was upset and angry and knew she looked like crap with tears all over her face, her hair in knots from a night of no sleep and her nightgown ruffled from her tossing and turning in her bed. She hadn't needed him to point it out to her.

"Go away," she snapped firmly, pointing a finger at him to make sure he knew she was talking to him. But he only shrugged his broad shoulders and smirked wider.

"Nice answer," he said gruffly before ignoring her and coming closer. Sam watched him with curious eyes as he took off his jacket and folded it leaving him in his sleeveless, blank tank as he got himself comfortable and soon, much to her shock and surprise he just came right over and sat at the edge of her bed. And then he just stared at her pointedly.

Staring back at him, Sam blinked a few times as she watched him just sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at her with expectant eyes. Starting to feel very uncomfortable and lost at what exactly he was doing, Sam reached down and straightened the edge of her short, silk, black dress over her bare knees and held it down, trying to look a little more suitable for dealing with her enemy before she went back to waiting for him to say something.

But when several moments passed and he said nothing and just sat there, Sam found herself screaming at him impatiently. "What? What is it?" she asked, wanting answers.

He said nothing for a moment longer before he threw her a composed glance and spoke in a calm tone. "I'm still waiting for a real answer to my question."

Sam was sure she felt her jaw drop open at his words. Staring at him with wide eyes, just ready to pop from her sockets, she couldn't get over the disbelief she was feeling right now. Seriously, who the hell was HE to check up on her and ask her why she looked so miserable? Biting her lip she thought long and hard. "Last time I checked I wasn't anything of his." A small sigh left her. "Anything more than an enemy anyway."

Sam's eyes narrowed at her last thought. "Speaking of which..." she thought, remembering that Scam was her enemy and a cozy conversation in the privacy of her bedroom was the last thing she should be having with the likes of him, she shot off the bed and got into fighting mode. Glaring at him, she spoke in an emotionless tone. "It's really none of your business why I look miserable or not." She let out a small huff before continuing. "Now, what do you want Scam? Why are you even here?"

Nodding his head, Scam slowly stood up from his perch on the edge of her bed and shifted into a fighting stance himself. "Why do I ever come to visit any of you little spies, hmm?" he said coolly.

Sam rolled her eyes in response. "To get us out of your way in your never ending quest to take WOOHP down," she spat, throwing him a heated glare. "What else?"

A smirk graced his lips as he looked at her teasingly. "You sound almost disappointed."

Sam couldn't help but snort at that. "Hardly," she said raising her nose in a dignified way. "I think I'd be more disappointed if I actually had hopes it was something else you wanted from me."

Scam's smirk widened on his face. "Is that so?" he asked, raising an eyebrow in her direction.

Sam nodded her head rigorously. "Yes, that is so." Looking at him seriously she spoke in an annoyed tone getting tired of holding her fighting stance. "Now can we get this over with?" Zero hours of sleep plus a nasty break-up did not make her feel anywhere up to fighting which was why she just wanted to get this over with and fast.

He shrugged his shoulders in a calm way while clenching his fist into a punch. "Have it your way," he said before moving to lunge at her and she was just about to fight back when he suddenly skidded to a stop, his eyes wide and his interest on something entirely separate from her.

Wondering what on earth it was that had stopped the fight she wanted over with before it even began, Sam looked to him with curious eyes. And a sharp gasp left her when she saw what he was looking at.

James' photograph, it had slipped onto the floor right near his feet and he was looking straight at it intently. Sam wondered if kicking him would get him to leave the photo alone but before she could even really move to execute that plan, he had bent down and picked it up, glancing at it more keenly before speaking to her again. "So..." he said, holding the photo so that James' face was facing her and pointing at it. "That's why you look like crap."

Sam felt a deep, dark blush of embarrassment creep up on her cheeks. It was obvious by his tone Scam had figured out what she had endured. A break-up with the man in the photograph. "Damn it," Sam thought, cursing at herself. She really should have thrown that out already.

She threw him another glare and spoke with dignity. "Well not all of us can look perfect twenty-four-seven no matter what we are going through like you can," she said trying to maintain some of her honour and speaking of how she had truly never seen him look shaken up or upset or lost no matter what his life was putting him through.

Whether that was being arrested a hundred times over or fighting nearly every day of his life, he seemed to have this inner strength that never ran out an never let anything phase him. But she wasn't like that. "Normal people with a heart get hurt Scam..." She looked at him accusingly. "Not that you'd know anything about that," she said, hoping to let him know that his "man of stone" character was not doing anything for his ability to relate to people.

She expected him to either burst out laughing at her or get pissed off at what she'd said but he just stood there almost gawking at her with surprise in his eyes. And she had no idea why he was looking at her like that until he said his next words.

"...Did you just call me perfect?" he asked in a shocked, surprised whisper.

Sam let out a small sigh realizing what she'd said and how he had taken it. "Missing the most important part as usual," she thought before shaking her head no. "No, I didn't say that. I called you someone without a heart," she said, clarifying her words.

But he only looked at her with an unconvinced stare. "That's funny because I could swear I heard you say not all of us can look perfect like YOU," he said, making quotations in the air as he quoted her word for word. Smirking at her deviously, he spoke again in a confident drawl. "YOU refers to me right?"

Sam's face turned all shades of red before stopping at the brightest one. "I...I didn't mean it like that! " Sam said hurriedly, her face burning hot at her own mistake which really had made it sound like she said what he thought she had. That he was perfect in her eyes.

He threw her a doubtful glance and rolled back his shoulders. "Mmhmm, I'm sure you didn't mean it like that," he said, sarcasm everywhere in his tone leaving her even more embarrassed. Sam chose not to look at him and instead focused on staring at the wall until her face stopped resembling a freshly ripe tomato.

And when she looked back up after several moments, once her face was back to normal she was surprised to see that Scam had dropped his fighting stance and was sitting on her bed again with James's photo in his hands while he stared at it fixedly.

"What's he doing?" she asked herself, confused as she realized he wasn't fighting her like he was supposed be. "Then what is he doing?" she wondered before realizing it was just safer to ask. She really didn't have the energy to try and figure Scam out right now.

"What are you doing?" she asked, watching him curiously and expecting him to answer but he kept his entire attention on the photo and didn't say anything to her. Still wanting answers, Sam let out a small sigh before cautiously going ever to where he sat. She stood there hovering over him for a moment before she joined him on the bed, sitting down awkwardly next to his side.

She sat there in silence wondering what it was about James that had Scam so interested and waiting for him to tell her until she found the silence too much to bear. She was just about to ask him what he was doing again when he suddenly broke the silence with a firm whisper.

"Hold on..." he said, furrowing his eyebrows as he focused on James' face. "I recognize this clown."

Sam's eyes went wide and she looked at him questioningly. "Cl-clown?" she asked, confused as to what Scam knew about James that had gotten him such a wonderful description in his book.

He nodded his head slowly as he kept his eyes on the picture in his hands. "Clown is what I'd call him," he uttered, his smirk returning to his lips. "He was the idiot I saw being dragged into a WOOHP cell some hours ago." A chuckle escaped Scam as he shook his head in amusement. "He was kicking and screaming like some four-year-old about to be grounded. Absolutely pathetic."

Sam blinked slowly and nodded her head. "Uh...huh," she said in agreement. She couldn't really deny that James was anything but pathetic or an idiot after what he'd done to her. And as she sat there silently relishing in the face that someone else, even if it was Tim Scam, saw James in the correct light she was caught off guard when he spoke again. And this time it was in a tone more shocked than ever.

"What a minute..." he said, looking at her with wide eyes, his eyebrows rising high as he stared at her. Scam let out a quiet breath as he kept looking at her in disbelief. "Don't tell me..." he trailed off leaving her curious.

"...Don't tell you what?" Sam asked, lost as to what had triggered the look he was giving her right now. A look of absolute shock, one that she had never even seen on his face before which only made her more anxious than ever to know why it was there.

He looked back at the photograph before looking at Sam again, and this time his eyes were even wider than ever before. "It was you?" he breathed out, nothing but disbelief in his voice.

Sam blinked her eyes still as lost as ever. "What...are you talking about?" she asked, sounding as confused as she felt.

"It was YOU..." Scam continued, staring at her. "That he conned into almost stealing him an invisibility formula?"

The moment the words left his mouth Sam's face went pale. "Oh God, he knows," she thought, biting her lip as shame filled her again. She could only imagine what he was thinking about her right now. Whatever it was, just by the look on his face she could tell he would never see her the same way again.

"My God Sam," he uttered, still shocked. "When I heard that was what he was being arrested for, for seducing a WOOHP spy for his own motives, I was certain it was your idiot friend Clover that fell for it." He shook his head in disbelief and his voice grew disappointed as he went on. "I never thought you'd be dumb enough to fall for that."

Sam felt her face heating up all over again. So he now thought she was dumb? What a boost to her ego this was. Brushing that off, Sam looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Clover is not an idiot," she said defending her best friend before she muttered in a small, quiet tone while staring at the floor under her toes to avoid meeting his eyes. "...And it wasn't seduction."

Scam cocked an eyebrow at her words. He chose not to discuss the blonde's mental capacity as that was a decided fact for him and instead focused on the bigger issue. "It wasn't seduction?" he asked, sounding confused. "He mist have done something to you, Sam. How else did he get you to almost steal the serum?" he said making her cringe at the memory. But he took no mercy on her humiliation and kept grilling her. "So what did he do then? Did he brainwash you?"

"Of all the people who heard of my lapse of judgement over James, HE just had to be one of them," she thought in frustration as a vein pulsed at her forehead. She really didn't like the rigorous questioning she was undergoing right now. It made her feel like a bigger idiot than she had been and she caught herself wishing James had brainwashed her. At least that way she would have someone else to blame but her.

"No," she said a moment later, trying not to make it obvious that she was cursing at herself mentally for letting this happen to her. "He didn't brainwash me," she said before closing her eyes tightly, expecting Scam to start berating her right about now. He'd probably think her an idiot at a level lower than he saw Clover at for this.

"I thought so," Scam said, making her open one eye and peek at him curiously. He shrugged in a self-satisfied way. "He didn't look smart enough to manage mind control," he said, a smirk spreading across his lips yet again. "That's more of an expert villain area, ya know?"

Opening both eyes now that she knew he wasn't going to mock her, Sam rolled her eyes. "And by expert villain…" she said, pointing at him, nearly poking him thanks to the lack of distance between them right now. "You mean yourself, don't you?"

His smirk couldn't help but widen at how well she knew him. "Who else?" he said, self-worship oozing from his tone, something she caught onto and huffed at.

"You're so arrogant," she said criticizing him.

Scam nodded his head and just smirked harder. "That I am."

"And conceited," she added, expecting him to get offended right about now. But he looked as pleased with himself as ever as he nodded his head yet again and whispered a soft, "Mmhmm," in response to her critique against him.

Sam rolled her eyes again, in slow motion this time as she realized he was taking everything she was saying as praise which was obvious by the look of absolute confidence set on his features. "That wasn't a compliment," she said firmly, trying to set him straight.

Scam shrugged the shoulder closest to her and continued smirking. "But I take it as one."

Sam stopped herself from rolling her eyes this time. realizing it was having no effect on him and was just making her pupils tired. Letting out a small sigh, she slowly rubbed her temples before speaking in a soft mutter to the man next to her. "You know...you're really weird sometimes."

His eyes flicked over to her lazily as he looked at her in a chastising way. "Not as weird as a girl who is supposed to have the brains of a genius and yet has been crying over some loser all night."

Sam's couldn't help but pout and shoot him a small glare. Scam didn't seem to mind her glare or notice her pout as he spoke again. "So how many hours have you wasted crying over him anyway?" he asked.

"It wasn't hours," Sam snapped, not wanting to look like a bigger fool than she already did for ever liking James. She didn't want Scam to know she had spent the entire night staying awake and lamenting over that too.

Scam just gave her a dubious stare before letting out a small scoff. "Sure," he said, shaking his head as if disappointed in her again. Turning all the way around so that he was facing her completely, he spoke again. "And those aren't tear stains on your cheeks."

Sam couldn't help but roll her eyes again. "Since when are YOU an expert on crying?" she cried indignantly.

"Since always," he said, leaving her to raise a eyebrow in his direction as nothing but sheer shock consumed her. "You...actually cry?" she asked, looking at him quizzically as she tried to imagine Tim Scam with tears in his eyes. It was a picture she just couldn't form and she had feeling she would never be able to no matter how hard she tried.

He let out a deep chuckle of amusement as he shook his head. "I don't cry, please," he said from in between his chuckles. When he caught his breath he continued calmly. "But since I make others cry so much I know just what tear stains look like, and those..." he said, reaching out and Sam was left stunned to her core when ran his index finger down her cheek and traced one. A smirk tugged at his lips as he looked at her in the eyes. "Match perfectly."

She knew she should be telling him to move his finger off her face and coming up with a witty response right about now but all she could do was sit there, stare at him with wide eyes and gulp. And only one thought ran through her mind as she sat as still as a statue under his gaze. "Why...why is he so close to me?"

Another dry gulp slowly passed down Sam's throat as she kept gawking at him in utter surprise. She could hardly believe he had just done that. He had just...touched her. And for the first time ever...it hadn't been a punch or a kick during a fight. It had just been a touch, a touch on the cheek...it had almost been soothing.

Blinking her eyes slowly, Sam sat in a daze and just kept looking at him. She could almost smell his scent, a pleasant, masculine scent washing over her senses as the breeze flooding in from the window he had opened practically carried it to her. Sam slightly chewed on her lower lip as she inhaled it and felt her heartbeat go up considerably.

His finger was still on her cheek, she could feel its' warmth. And for some reason, soon she felt her eyelids slowly closing as her eyes grew droopy and her lips slightly parted. She wasn't sure why but her mind began to go blank and unconsciously she began to lean closer towards him and the space that separated him from her became less and less until he suddenly drew his body back and returned to silently studying James' photograph again.

When the space between them returned, Sam blinked her eyes and drew in a shaky breath before letting it out slowly. And she couldn't help but wonder what that had been just know that she had felt. It wasn't like anything she had ever...felt before.

"He's not all that handsome you know," Scam's voice interrupted her thoughts and Sam looked back at him to find him smirking at her yet again. His let out a small "tsk" as his smirk grew deeper. "Honestly, you're acting like you broke up with some male supermodel."

Suddenly Sam's state of strange calmness faded and she faced him with a glare. "Looks aren't everything you know!" she shouted, irritated that that was all he thought she looked at in a guy. Seriously, what did he take her for? Her best friend Clover?

Scam let out a small chuckle, nodding his head which calmed her down a bit. "No they're definitely not," he said agreeing before his smirk came crawling back. Pointing to the photo, he tapped James' face. "But this guy doesn't even have those."

Listening to him, Sam's eyes narrowed. She just couldn't figure him out. Why was he here right now...bashing James her ex-boyfriend? He had been on his case ever since he'd arrived. Curious, she was about to ask him why he was so interested in picking on James instead of getting down to business which she was sure had to do with WOOHP when he spoke again.

"He could really use a haircut," he commented harshly. For some reason that made Sam laugh. To be honest, she did find James bangs a bit too long. They went past his eyes way too much to the point that they were always looking messy. From a purely fashionable point of view, they would have been much better suited if they just barely hung at the eye level just like-

"Scam's do," Sam thought, unable to help but notice how his brown hair, the few bangs that cascaded over his forehead did just that. They hung over his eyes just a touch and were the type of bangs that made you just want to...just reach over and brush them away.

"And his nose is kinda big," he said, and Sam snapped out of the stare she had been giving him with a blush on her face. Glancing at him she noted that he was still looking at the photo which thankfully meant that he hadn't seen her staring at his hair.

Letting out a breath of relief at that, Sam awkwardly rubbed her arm while wondering how she ended up in this time and place, with Scam with her the night after a painful break-up and with him making fun of her ex the way a best friend would in an attempt to make you feel better.

"But why would he want me to feel better?" she thought before dropping it. Scam probably wasn't meaning to make her feel better...even if hearing about how bland James was doing just that for her anyway.

"His eyes are dull too..." Scam muttered. Sam zoned out on his harsh examination of James and found herself simply watching him again. And as she did a small smile couldn't help but form on her lips. It was kind of cute how he was holding the photo at eye level and looking at the details with his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth set in a line of concentration.

Still smiling, Sam decided that she might as well give up on waiting for him to talk about WOOHP because it didn't look like he wanted to and if she pushed him she'd be provoking him and with Scam, that was never a good idea. "Besides..." Sam thought to herself. "I could use someone insulting James right now and Scam is doing that wonderfully."

Having made her decision Sam's mind went back to the last deficiency he had pointed out in James. He had said that James had dull eyes. Then found herself looking at Scam's eyes absentmindedly taking in the piercing sea-foam colour that was just so...so...beautiful. To be honest she had always thought he had nice eyes.

"You know, not all guys have eyes like yours," she said suddenly before she could stop herself.

Scam froze in his study of James' face and turned to glance at her. "And by that you mean?" he asked pointedly.

Realizing what she'd said Sam resisted the urge to bite her own tongue and tried to figure out what to say because he was waiting for an answer. After a long moment she shrugged her shoulder. "You know," she said passively.

Scam smirked. "Actually, I don't know. If I did..." he said, his smirk growing. "I wouldn't have asked." His voice grew demanding as he eyed her keenly, "Now tell me what you meant."

Sam's face turned red as she figured out that she was stuck. Scam wasn't letting this go. "It's... self-explanatory," she said desperate to get him off her case. But it didn't work as well as she'd hoped and Scam just kept looking at her with a pointed glance as if waiting for her to tell him the truth. Sam gulped and said nothing all the while turning redder and redder. And after a moment that seemed like an eternity of uncomfortable silence passed, Scam let out a small chuckle.

Confused, Sam looked at him oddly and was about to ask him what was so funny when he spoke again. "You know, if you like my eyes you can say it," he said.

Sam's face, which had stopped at a cherry red turned as dark as a ripened tomato once again. "I-I do not!" she squealed furiously. He simply let out another chuckle before going back to James' photograph.

"And he's way too skinny," she heard him say next and she had to bite her tongue hard not to say that not every guy could be as buff as him. But she'd be blind not to notice Scam's physique especially when he was right there next to her in his sleeveless, blank tank which just so happened to show off his muscular frame. "And particularly those strong arms of his," she thought.

"Is there something on my arm?" he said suddenly and Sam realized that she had been caught yet again.

"N-no, there isn't," she stuttered out quickly as she struggled to look innocent. But he was looking at her again with nothing but accusation on his features.

"Then why were you staring at it?" he asked.

Sam bit her lip and shook her head. "I...I wasn't staring," she stammered hoping he'd believe her but Scam just raised another doubtful eyebrow in her direction.

"Yes you were," he said damningly.

"No I was not!" Sam screamed right back hoping that if she sounded angry then he'd think she would never do something as ridiculous as what he's caught her doing but she couldn't help but note how he was looking at her in a very determined way. It looked as if he wasn't falling for her false anger routine and that was confirmed immediately with his next words.

"...You know..." he said calmly, looking her in her eyes with his own narrowed slightly. "I think I get what's going on here."

Sam was sure she felt a shiver crawl down her spine. "What-" she gulped slightly. "What do you mean?" she whispered.

Scam smirked as he glanced back at the photo still in his hands. "I had been wondering what you saw in this loser...but I'm starting to see it."

Now lost again, Sam blinked her eyes and spoke with her confusion all over her tone. "Then do tell because I don't see it," she said awkwardly.

Scam gave her a small, doubtful-looking glance. "You don't?" he asked.

Sam blinked her eyes slowly as she wondered if she was missing something obvious here before answering in a quiet whisper. "No."

He nodded his head and turned back to the picture. "This idiot..." he said now holding up the photo so that she could see it. "Kind of looks like someone else you know."

Still as confused as ever, Sam looked at him with her eyes narrowed curiously. "...Who?"

A knowing smirk set on his lips as he met her eyes with his again and spoke in a firm whisper. "ME."

Sam's eyes went wide and a sharp gasp left her as she went speechless at what he'd just said. Then when she finally calmed down enough to find her voice she found herself defending herself awkwardly. "Wha-what?" she screamed, throwing her hands up dramatically. "That's ridiculous!" she screeched, pointing to James' face. "He looks nothingggggggggggg like you!"

"He doesn't?" Scam said, still smirking and looking unphased despite her screaming like a banshee. He pointed to the James' image again. "Well check out the hair colour," he said running his index finger across James' brown hair. His finger travelled down and pointed to James' eyes. "And the green eyes," he said before finally stopping his finger at James' neck. "And the tan skin tone."

Seeing where he was going with this all to well, Sam raised a hand and waved it airily. "I-I don't know what you're talking about," she said quickly.

Scam's smirk grew deeper as he looked at her teasingly. "Oh I think you do," he whispered in a way that made it obvious that he knew that she knew just what he was trying to say.

Giving up on trying to deny for the moment, Sam looked at him with a confused pout on her lips. "But...I thought you said he was ugly," she mumbled.

Scam nodded his head. "Yes but I said he kinda looks like me," he said calmly. "As in only PARTLY." Sam closed her mouth and chewed on her lower lip knowing she had nothing more left to say.

Scam didn't seem to mind that as he continued with the smirk that was on his lips quickly turning into one of triumph. The kind of smirk he was usually smirking when he'd escaped from WOOHP's clutchess yet again or managed to trap them in one of his newest plans. The same kind of smirk that made her all sorts of nervous. Gulping again, Sam tried to collect herself and tell herself that there was nothing for her to be nervous about when Scam dropped the bomb on her.

"Were you really crying over the fact that James broke up with you and you ended up looking like a fool...or was it over losing ME again?"

Sam felt her skin go pale as if all the colour had suddenly been sucked dry. "Wha...what?" She squeaked out staring at him with wide, stunned eyes.

Scam took no mercy on her and pressed on. "Don't lie," he said firmly. "When you found James you saw me in him, that's obvious by his looks and how fast you fell for him." The triumphant smirk on his face turned into an all-knowing one as he kept his gaze locked on her face "And when you found out he was evil...your heart broke because it was like you lost me all over again..."

Sam's mouth dropped open as she felt the wind simply get knocked out of her lungs at what he just said. Suddenly this conversation went from a nice bashing session on James to a full-out interrogation of her intentions that made her very, very uneasy.

"What-" Sam paused and took a deep breath in, fully recovering her voice before she continued. "What do you mean by LOST you?" she said, emphasizing the word as she looked at him blankly. "I never had you Scam."

"But you had a crush on me," he retorted right on cue.

Sam felt as if someone had just stamped the word guilty across her forehead in bright, permanent, neon red. She HAD to fix this, she knew. She couldn't let him go on thinking and suggesting things like this. The last thing she wanted after being dumped today was to be made fun of by an earlier crush of hers.

"The one that so conveniently barges into my bedroom at 3 AM just for the heck if it," she thought, shooting a small glare at him. Maybe he did have a reason to come here after all. He wanted to annoy her to death and take advantage of her while she was down in the dumps by crushing any self-worth she had left.

It sure sounded like something he, the great villain that he was, would do didn't it? She didn't have to think twice about that, after all by bringing up her crush on him, on another and a far more dangerous criminal than James, he was doing just that.

And as she realized that, Sam was once again reminded of her sad, cursed luck with her lovelife. Brushing that off she crossed her arms over her chest defensively and spoke in a firm, dignified tone. "Had a crush," she said. "Had, had, HAD," she repeated, emphasizing the word. "That's in the past tense," she said, looking at him pointedly to make sure there was no way he'd miss what she was trying to get at.

"So you admit it," Scam said smirking at her deviously. And her blush was back all over her cheeks back yet again. Trying to control her blush, Sam racked her brain for a response.

"Well you..." she took a deep breath in before finally managing to wipe her blush off her face. "You don't get anywhere in life if you don't admit your mistakes," she said haughtily.

Scam's eyes widened considerably. "Ouch," he said, raising an eyebrow. "A mistake, hmm? That crush on me was a mistake?" he said, actually sounding just a little bit offended.

Sam nodded her head slowly. "That's right," she said calmly.

Scam's second eyebrow moved up to meet his other one as he looked at her with even more interest. "And that's ALL that it was?"

Sam felt her blush starting to creep back along her face again. "Yea...why are we talking about this again?" She asked, hoping to show him how ridiculous this was and get him to stop.

But Scam just looked at her with a relentless stare and smirked. "Because if you ignore history you're bound to repeat it," he said smugly.

"Way to turn my own move right back at me," Sam thought, mentally thrown off by this man's impeccable wit which never seemed to go away before answering him. "Well I doubt I'd ever have another crush on you," Sam said sourly.

Scam nodded his head slowly. "Fine," he said coolly before holding up a hand. "No offence..." he said smirking as he looked at her again. "But let me just say that your taste has certainly gone wayyy downhill since your crush on me."

A outraged gasp left Sam as she looked at him in disgust. "You are SO full of yourself!" she shouted accusingly.

He rolled his eyes and looked at her with a small, pointed glance. "What? You're actually going to tell me that this buffoon," he said, pausing to point at James' face with a look of clear contempt and dislike on his features. "Is better than me?"

"What if I said he is?" Sam asked, unable to help but smirk as she said it because she could see how disgusted Scam looked.

"Then you'd be lying," he said flatly.

Sam's smirk widened on her lips. "He's wayyyyyyyy better than you," she said enthusiastically.

Scam let out a scoff. "For the record," he said peering at her with annoyance in his eyes. "You're a terrible liar." Sam rolled her eyes and fought the urge to stick her tongue out at him. "And second," he said, ignoring her eye roll and continuing. "If he is sooo much better than me, wouldn't you have forgiven him for his mistake?"

"His mistake is too big to forgive," Sam said knowing after what James had done, she would probably never be able to forgive him.

Scam shook his head. "That doesn't answer my question," he said looking at her in the eye. "If James asked for an apology for what he'd done...would you forgive him?" he said, rephrasing the question to make it clear what he was asking her.

Sam let out a small sigh knowing she had wondered the same thing to herself earlier. If James had asked her for an apology would she have forgiven him?

"I might have..." she said honestly knowing if he had truly been sorry she could have forgiven him. She let out another sigh as she remembered that James hadn't even bothered to say sorry though and before she could stop herself she had mumbled, "If he'd asked for an apology..."

Even though she had said the words in a quiet mumble Scam was able to pick up on them. And any doubt he'd had over what she had said was cleared when he saw the look on her face. It was a look of pure humiliation and sadness, the type of expression one wore when they had been hoping for something and...it hadn't happened.

"So..." Scam said quietly as he glanced at Sam with knowing eyes. "He didn't even apologize for what he did to you, did he?"

Sam let out another depressed sigh. "...No...not really," she admitted honestly. Biting her lip, Sam looked down unable to help but feel odd tattling on her ex to Scam like this. She didn't get why he was even listening and paying attention to her right now. Another sigh left her as she thought to herself. "Sometimes...he sounds like he actually cares." She couldn't help but realize how odd that was for Tim Scam, to actually care about anything. And just when she thought he couldn't say anything stranger, he did.

"He's not worth you crying over him, Sam."

Sam's head snapped up and she looked at him with wide, shocked eyes. She couldn't believe it. She could not believe what she was hearing. It was actually there this time for sure...real concern and care. "And..." Sam thought shakily as she kept staring at his face with her jaw wide open. "And it's on his face too..."

She could see it right there, as shocking as it was his eyes seemed to hold real compassion and understanding. And while she knew Scam was a master liar the look on his face stood out so starkly from the usual careless, cocky and stern expressions that he looked at her with, she just knew it had to be real.

Scam shrugged suddenly and let out a small sigh. "I mean...if you're going to cry, why not cry over the fact the Clover is your best friend or that you're working for Jerry, hmm?" he said before letting out a chuckle. "Now THOSE are reasons to cry," he said from in between laughing.

Sam felt her face fall and a small growl left her lips as she bunched her fists together. It took every ounce of her will power not to hit him in the head with a pillow right now. She shot him a small glare anyway, telling him she hadn't liked him bashing her friends.

Scam seemed to get the hint and shockingly stopped laughing. Clearing his throat, he gave her a small shrug. "I mean, aren't you a strong girl?" he asked and soon a smirk was rising on his lips again. "Where's the girl I continually beat and frustrate that always bounces back, hmm?"

Sam let out a gasp. "Uh excuse me?" she said holding up a hand as if to stop him for a moment. "Girl you continually beat?" she screeched, outraged as she looked at him with beady eyes.

Scam's smirk widened slightly. "It was a compliment," he said putting up his hands up in his defence.

Sam rolled her eyes before she looked at him curiously. "And since WHEN did you start giving me those?" she snapped. Crossing her arms over her chest she peered at him with narrowed eyes, "Last time I checked you hated me, and you don't give people you hate compliments."

"Says the girl who just said, not too long ago how I was perfect and that she liked my eyes," Scam said smugly as he leaned back on the bed with his palms.

Sam who was already red ignored how the muscles on his arms rippled while he did that and shook her head slowly. "I told you I didn't mean it that way," she protested.

Scam's lip quirked upwards in another smirk as he looked at her with teasing eyes. "And I told you you're a very bad liar," he said leaving her to clamp her mouth shut again. Satisfied that he had silenced her on that subject Scam returned to James's photo which was laying in his lap. Picking it up again he grimaced and shook his head in disapproval. "Seriously, what did you see in him anyway?"

Tired of him asking that over and over again, Sam smiled as she leaned over and pointed to the photo. "I thought you had that figured out already," she said making him look at her. When she had his full attention, Sam smirked. "I saw YOU in him remember?" she said in an overly sweet voice that was just dripping with sarcasm.

Scam let out a small scoff as he looked at her with annoyance all over his face. "Be as sarcastic as you want, you know it's true."

Sam rolled her eyes for the millionth time that night. "You're unbelievable," she whispered.

Shifting on the bed and leaning a little closer, Scam smirked. "That's another compliment, you know."

Sam shook her head in disbelief before fully turning towards him herself, bringing them nearly nose to nose without realizing it. "You know..." she said quietly. "By now I think everything I say will be taken as one."

The smirk on his lips widened a few inches as he glanced back at her. "You're finally catching on," he whispered coolly.

Sam shook her head again before letting out a sigh. "Ti-Scam," she corrected. "...Why did you come here?" she asked knowing he had had her curious over that ever since he'd arrived and not tried to kill her. "It couldn't have been to do..." she paused looking for the right word and a moment later she raised her hands slightly gesturing to the both of them. "This."

Scam let out a small chuckle. "No you're right," he said. "Originally I came here to capture you and hold you hostage so that WOOHP would obey my every whim to try get you back from my clutches," he said, smirking evilly.

Sam watched him for a quiet moment, just sitting there smirking and looking like the evil Tim Scam she had known all these years before she asked the question that that was gnawing away at her inside.

"And what's stopping you now?" she said, wanting to know, Why wasn't he taking her hostage now when he was here and she was more vulnerable than any other time he had come after her? Why wasn't he acting on his plan?

Sam peered into his eyes questioningly as she waited for him to speak but he just kept looking at her silently, saying nothing and simply watching her wordlessly. And as they sat there in complete and total silence, with mere inches between them thanks to the unconscious shifts they'd made on the mattress Sam could feel his warm breath on her face just as he could feel hers on his.

As the silence continued on, Sam felt her eyes grow heavy and she watched his close halfway as the space that separated them turned from inches into millimetres and kept growing smaller and smaller until suddenly he pulled back.

And soon a frown was on his face. "What do you take me for Sam?" he hissed. "As big of an evil bastard that I am, I don't play dirty." His frown grew harder. "And If kidnapped you now, while you're in no position to really defend yourself or fight back, that's exactly what it would be."

Sam blinked her eyes and shook her head to clear it. She oddly felt cold once he'd pulled away from her like that and slowly she rubbed her bare arms. "Sorry..." she whispered softly. "Never knew you were so honourable," she said glancing at the man next to her in slight awe.

"Really?" Scam said suddenly and all traces of his frown melted off his face and in its place came a smirk, just a small one but it was there. "Well, I never knew you were such a cry baby."

Sam gasped loudly and soon she was pouting. "I am not!" she screamed, balling up her fists as she glared at him.

"Then stop crying over him," Scam said as he looked at challengingly, as if daring her not to. Sam watched him quietly for a long moment with narrowed eyes before she finally asked him something else that was bothering her.

"...Why do you care if I cry anyway?" she said, wondering since when Tim Scam, the man that enjoyed watching people burst into tears and be miserable suddenly cared if one of his worst enemies was shedding tears over her own stupidity.

Scam shrugged. "I never said I did," he said, not missing a beat and leaving her to sigh and look down. What had she been thinking? Scam would never care about her.

"But I have to confess..." he said, making her look up again. And when she looked at him he was smirking once more. Suddenly he pointed a finger at her. "As pretty as you are you don't look good crying."

Sam's eyes went wide as she was completely caught off guard by his words. "Pr-pretty?" she stuttered out, wondering if she was going crazy or if he'd actually called her pretty. But all her doubts vanished with his next words.

"What?" he said, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "That boyfriend of yours didn't even tell you you're pretty?" he asked, sounding shocked and shocking her even more. He let out a sigh, shaking his head from side to side as he looked at her in a displeased way. "And you were still with him for that many days? Gosh Sam, I'm shocked. I always thought you had higher standards."

All Sam could do was keep staring at him with eyes as wide as saucers. She had heard everything he had said but was having a beyond difficult time processing it. After several moments passed, Sam squeaked out the same word she had said last. "Pr-pretty?"

Scam cocked an eyebrow before rolling his eyes. "Why are you stuck on that word like a broken record?" he said rudely, snapping her out of her daze and leaving her glaring.

"Oh I'm sorry," Sam said sarcastically. "I'm just a little shocked that my worst enemy just called me pretty!" she snapped, wondering if he hadn't realized what he'd said to her when he'd said it and expecting him to take it back now that she'd pointed it out.

But Scam just shrugged his shoulders. "It's not a big deal," he said calmly. "After all you said I had pretty eyes too."

Sam craned her head back and let out a loud sigh and a huff, cursing at him under her breath before she spoke to him again." I didn't say it, you thought I did!" she shouted incriminatingly.

Scam made a small, careless sounding "pft" sound. before smirking. "Same, damn thing."

"It's not" Sam shouted, knowing it wasn't. Just because he thought she said something it did NOT mean she had actually said it. The world just didn't work that way.

But he just shook his head in denial. "It is to me and that's all that matters Sammie," he said firmly, letting her know he wasn't going to take it any other way no matter what she said or did to try and make him change his mind.

Throwing him an annoyed look, Sam rolled her eyes. "You're so conceited," she muttered, hoping to bring his ego down a few notches but Scam only smirked his same chill, uncaring smirk and looked at her mischievously.

"Find a new word to describe me," he said, letting out a small yawn and rolling back his shoulders. "You used conceited twice already."

Sam resisted the desire to snort and instead choose sarcasm. "Well I'm sorry..." she said smirking at him and shrugging back at him just like he had to her. "But that's the one word that sums you up best."

Scam arched an eyebrow and blinked lazily as he watched her from the corner of his eye. "Touché..." he said, making her smirk widen as she thought she finally succeeded in humiliating him. He retaliated against her smirk with one of her own as he continued. "Then nag sums you up best."

"You are such a jerk!" Sam screamed shrilly right in his face.

Scam slowly scratched the ear she had exploded right into and nodded his head slowly. "Well what do you know..." he said, putting down his hand when his ear had recovered from her scream and smirking up at her where she sat hovering above him. "You found a new word to describe me."

Sam let out a small sigh as she shook her head at how strange he really was. "Tim Scam," she thought to herself. "The only man on earth who enjoys being called a jerk and a bastard." He was honestly a real piece of work. Watching him as he half sat and half lay next to with an ever cool smirk on his face, his eyes glinting with happiness as if she had just called him a charming prince instead of a jerk, Sam let out another sigh knowing he was truly in a class that was entirely his own. "He's something else," she thought blushing slightly before he caught her attention again with his voice.

"I'm actually impressed Sammie," he said, staring up at the ceiling and tucking his arms under his head so that it was resting up on them as he finally lay down, growing tired of sitting at the edge of her bed. "I really had begun to think that your vocabulary was severely limited."

A small pout rose on her lips. "I'll have you know I have an IQ of nearly 200!" she snapped. "And people with an IQ that high generally have an expansive vocabulary," she said as she reached out and poked him slightly on the shoulder, aiming to spoil at least some of his total relaxation at the moment.

But he just let out a relaxed breath, and then another before flickering his eyes over to her and speaking. "...Now who's being conceited Sammie?"

Sam could feel her face turning red as she realized he was right. Not wanting to admit it because she knew she'd rather die before tell Scam he was right so that he could laugh at her, Sam huffed angrily. "Stop calling me Sammie!" she snarled.

Scam let out a chuckle before fixing her with one more of his famous smirks. "You're just pissed off that I caught you acting like me," he said making her turn even redder than she already was.

Scam's smirk widened on his face as he watched her blushing away. "I'll take that as proof that I'm right," he said watching her with amusement in his eyes as she squirmed in her spot in an attempt to fight off her blush. And he was soon laughing at her attempts.

"Stop laughing at me!" Sam growled demandingly.

Scam paused in his laughter and looked at her mockingly. "Make me," he said provokingly leaving the glare on her face to grow even more.

"You really want me to MAKE YOU?" She asked, her nostrils flaring as she thought of as many violent ways as she could to shut him up. If only she had some duct tape on her right now she could make great use of it. She ignored the fact that Scam would break her arm in two before she could get it anywhere near him let alone on his mouth.

Scam seemed completely undisturbed by how angry she looked as he just smirked at her for the umpteenth time. "If you think you can..." he said, his eyes showing her how thoroughly entertained he was by her right now. "Then go ahead," he said before going right back to laughing at her like she was some clown.

Sam felt her veins bubble with frustration and annoyance. No longer being able to resist herself, Sam did the first thing she could think of to make him pay and she reached over, grabbed her pillow and in the next second she had whacked Scam with it right in the head.

Scam's laughter came to a sudden halt as he looked at Sam with peeved eyes while he rubbed his head where she had smacked him. This pillow may have been way softer than the brick he got to put his head on at WOOHP, but it had still had some slight impact on his head because he hadn't been expecting it coming.

When the impact wore off, Scam let out a small sigh. "Ya know..." he started slowly as returned his arm to his side and he made himself comfortable on the bed again. Rolling over to be on his side, he looked at her. "This proves one more thing I didn't know about you."

"What?" Sam asked curious to know what it was that he was going to say now.

He cast her a small frown. "You have a lot of growing up to do," he said, shaking his head and sighing as if expecting way better from her. "Pillow fights? Seriously what are you, five?" he taunted.

Sam put the pillow down and looked at him with tired eyes. "I think I should have slapped you instead," she muttered.

Scam let out a chuckle and looked at her teasingly. "In your dreams," he said making her eye twitch. "You wouldn't be able to lay a finger on me and you know it," he said arrogantly.

"You wouldn't be able to lay a finger on me and you know it," Sam mumbled in a lowered tone, imitating him as she pouted.

Scam only smirked. "That was a terrible impression of me."

"Shut up," Sam spat glaring at him in an attempt to make him take her seriously but like always he looked as carefree as ever.

"Again," he said, letting out another yawn in a bored, unthreatened way. "MAKE ME."

Tired with his antics, Sam huffed loudly and turned the other way so that she didn't have to see his face. Scam waited for a moment for her to turn back around but when she didn't, he sat up and looked at her from over her shoulder. "You know..." he said, nearly whispering in her ear and making the strands of hair that were there sway with his breath. "You're cute when you're pouting."

Sam couldn't help but blush hotly. Scam noticed her blush and smirked so hard that she could almost feel it against her cheek. "And even more when you're blushing," he added making her blush go several degrees warmer on her face. Even though she knew he didn't mean what he was saying to her at all, she couldn't help but blush and wish he'd stop saying it anyway.

Annoyed with how her face seemed to be radiating heat like a fresh pancake off the frying pan thanks to her blush, Sam glanced at Scam from over her shoulder with peeved eyes. "Knock it off!" she ordered.

"You want me to ignore you like your boyfriend did?" Scam said, smirking at her in a clear attempt to push her buttons. And he knew it had worked when she was screaming again.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Sam howled, aggravated.

"He was," Scam said bluntly.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Yes he WAS," Sam said emphasizing the word. "Was as in past tense..." she said pausing for a second before adding in, "Just like that stupid. dumb, crazy crush I had on you."

Sam nodded his head. "Yes, back when you still had some class and your choice in men was still good," he said smirking at her. Turning red again but this time more from anger and annoyance than anything else, Sam gave him a small huff.

"You really think highly of yourself, don't you?" she asked, remembering how many times just tonight he had proven that with his words and actions.

Scam shrugged and gave her another smirk. "What's not to think highly about?" he said, confusion in his voice as if it was only natural for him to be completely in love with everything about himself just the way he was. His smirk grew deeper as he gave her a small wink. "After all, I'm perfect remember?" he whispered, reminding her of her past words.

Sam groaned in exasperation not believing he was on that again. "I told you I didn't call you perfect!" she cried.

Scam looked at her with smug-looking eyes. "I heard you say it Sammie," he said firmly.

Sam could feel the steam practically blowing out of her ears. Knowing he wasn't going to let that go for good now, Sam picked something else for her to scream at him about. "Stop calling me Sammie!" she growled.

Scam let out a small laugh as he looked at her with even more amused eyes. "Stop screaming Sammie," he said teasingly.

When Sam heard him call her "Sammie" again she found herself hissing at him in an even more annoyed snarl. "Stop calling me Sammie!" she demanded again.

Scam's eyes were practically glazed over with his enjoyment of her frustration. "Where is the magic word Sammie?" he asked making her roll her eyes again and sneer.

"I am not requesting you to stop calling me that, I am telling you to!" she screamed loudly making him chuckle at how easily he was able to get under her skin and make her squirm.

After he had gotten a good laugh, one good enough to give his lungs a work-out, Scam looked at her with big, innocent eyes. "Why, it's not your name?" he said. Sam didn't need even a second to know that the innocent look he was giving her was a facade that he could take out and use like a mask at will, just like he was right now to try and win with her. But she wasn't going to have it.

"No," she said curtly, raising her nose up at him and speaking firmly. "My name isn't Sammie, it's Samantha. Samantha Simpson."

Scam nodded his head slowly and looked at her with a quirk of his eyebrow. "You know, I knew that." He smirked once more displaying the even, white, perfect teeth he possessed. "I just called you Sammie to get you all riled up," he said leaving Sam to scrunch up her nose and huff.

Scam laughed and shook his head in raw amusement at her irritated reaction. "You should see yourself right now," he said from in between his chuckles only making her huff louder. "Seriously," he laughed out, never taking his eyes off her agitated face. "You look like I just called you Samantha Scam instead of Sammie."

Sam, who had been looking at the ceiling now to ignore him, gasped and turned her head back to face him at what he'd said. "Wh-what?" she whispered, wondering if he had really, REALLY just said what her ears had picked up on. Had he really just called her...THAT?

Having heard Sam's questioning whisper, Scam stopped laughing and looked her in the eye. "Samantha Scam," he said repeating it and making Sam gasp again only louder this time because now there was no doubt he'd called her that. "Which you would be if you married me," he added in, in a matter-of-fact tone.

After taking a moment to recover from her shock, Sam looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Yea," she said, having realized in her moment of recovery that he was obviously just aiming to get her all hot and bothered again. "Or if I was your sister."

Scam let out a small chuckle and faced her with doubtful looking eyes. "We look nothing alike Sam," he said, trying to prove her wrong but Sam only shook her head in denial and smirked knowing just what to say to win this one.

"Siblings don't always do," she said, her face quickly growing triumphant when he said nothing in response, closed his mouth and just nodded his head in agreement. And Sam had to resist the urge to do a fist pump or break out into a happy dance at finally winning a verbal argument with Tim Scam, something that she was sure was the equivalent of setting some kind of major world record.

But her moment of shining glory came to a crushing halt when he spoke again, ending her win right then and there.

"...So," he said, flicking his eyes to look straight into hers as if penetrating them. "You had a crush on your brother then?"

Sam's eyes went wide enough to jump out of her sockets and Scam's smirk rolled out back across his lips as smoothly as a red carpet on awards night. "Since you already admitted that crush you had on me," he said smoothly before giving her another one of his famous, fake innocent looks. "And if you were my sister..." he said, taking a moment to let out a mock gasp of shock. "Gosh, that would be very, very, wron-"

"Well I'm not your wife either!" Sam cut in, not wanting to hear the rest of what he had just been about to say for the sake of her own sanity.

Scam couldn't help but smirk at just where she had chosen to cut him off before he responded to her. "Why not?" he said calmly. "It's more probable than being my sister," he said before his voice lowered down to a mumble. "And much more welcome..."

Sam's mouth went dry and her eyes widened enough to appear as though they had nearly tripled in size. He hadn't said that. He HAD NOT said that, right? "What was that?" Sam half squealed, half screamed out from her shock-choked throat, unable to keep it in.

Realizing that she had heard what he'd said last despite him mumbling thanks to her dramatic reaction, Scam put up his hands in an equally dramatic way. "What?" he said, looking at her with surprise in his eyes. "You wanna have a crush on your brother?"

"You are not my brother!" she snapped, not allowing him to suggest that she would ever even think of such a vile thing as have a crush on her own brother or god forbid, cross the line and think of incest.

Liking how energetically she had screamed at that and knowing exactly what thoughts had gone through her morally inclined brain, Scam smirked happily knowing he had her right where he wanted her just like always. "Exactly," he said, nodding his head once as he eyed her victoriously. "Which is why being my wife is a much better option."

Sam let out a loud huff as she looked at him with narrowed, curious eyes. "Oh? And when did I say I was going to marry you?" she snapped, wanting to know just when what words he had taken of hers now and twisted into sounding like that.

But instead of sprouting off the sentence she had said that he had manipulated to get at that conclusion, he just shrugged passively and whispered, "You didn't because I didn't ask."

Not failing at all in hearing all the clear arrogance in his tone, Sam threw him a short glare before deciding to play along just to see what he'd say next. "Oh," she started calmly, looking at him in the eye. "So...you're saying that if you popped out a diamond ring, got down on one knee and asked me to marry you right now, I'd say yes?" she asked.

Scam raised an eyebrow at her words before shaking his head and Sam raised an eyebrow herself, surprised that his arrogance wasn't quite as overblown as she had originally thought. "At least he has the sense to know I wouldn't just say yes," she thought, satisfied that despite harassing her endlessly about her long ago crush on him tonight, that at least he didn't see her as a girl who would just agree to marrying him if he put her on the spot.

Scam, noticing that Sam looked way too satisfied realized that she had mistakenly believed that he had agreed with her. "I can fix that," he thought before clearing his throat and gaining her attention easily.

When she looked at him again, he smirked. "Please Sam..." he started lazily. "I would not get down on one knee...or even bother to ask," he said making her eyes widen, something he enjoyed as he smirked harder and continued all the while anticipating her reaction to what he was going to say.

"If I did want to marry you..." he said, his eyes slightly glimmering with just a touch of darkness as his voice grew rougher. "Then I'd just carry you off."

"...And I'd just go with you?" Sam breathed out in disbelief all the while ignoring how dark, rough, husky and downright, dare she admit it...sexy his voice was at this precise moment, so that she could focus on his words and nothing more.

Unfortunately for her, he made it harder for her to ignore as he kept speaking in that same lazy, low drawl. "Hell yes you would," he said cockily all the while smirking at her devilishly.

"...I would not," Sam said softly, sadly affected by his charms but still in a voice firm enough to be taken seriously if he chose to hear it that way.

Of course he didn't.

"Please Sam..." he said, rolling his eyes in a way that made them survey her face, the ceiling of her room and then land smack back onto her again. "If I asked you to marry me you'd say yes in a heartbeat," he said, sureness everywhere in his confident tone.

But instead of being annoyed with him, Sam found herself smirking because he had just contradicted what he'd said not too long ago. "But I thought you said you wouldn't ask?" she said smirking, knowing she was right. "I thought you said if you wanted to marry me then you'd just carry me away," she reminded him before smirking wider as she finished proudly, knowing she had dealt with that bit already. "And I told you I would not go with you," she said before waiting for him to just try and take back what he'd said earlier in an attempt to prove her wrong.

She was caught off guard when he didn't even try and instead smirked up at her from where he lay. "But what if I asked...would you say yes?"

Sam felt her throat dry itself out all over again and it took her at least a full minute to shake her head no. "I..." she shook her head harder. "I didn't say that," she protested weakly, something he picked up easily and used as a reason to widen his smug smirk.

"You basically did," he said, locking eyes with her deviously.

Sam felt her face grow hot again at what he was suggesting and how he was looking at her, as if she was a mouse that had been caught right in the custom-made trap he had designed just for her. "I did not!" she shouted, her cheeks red from embarrassment.

Scam's smirk kicked up one more notch and satisfaction could be seen in his eyes. "Yes you did," he whispered, his voice just aching with open provocation.

Sam found herself screaming on the top of her lungs in her never ending quest not to look like a moron before him after he had successfully coaxed her into his little web. "No I didn't!"

He had the audacity to let out a small chuckle. "You definitely did," he said, setting her off into a growl.

Unable to take his taunting and teasing and prodding any longer, now at her wit's end and totally out of patience, Sam snarled at him. "Shut up Tim!"

But her screaming had zero effect on him like always and he greeted her again with another one of his smirks. "First name basis, huh?" he said, suggestion laden in his tone as he gave her a small grin. "Well aren't you getting cozy with me?"

Sam scoffed and glared down at him hotly. "Says the man who has basically taken over HALF my bed!" she said using her hands to bring attention to how he was practically laying in her lap now that he had scooted closer and was leaning up on one elbow, so that his head was almost upon her knees where she sat with her legs folded under her.

Not bothering to move from his spot, Scam let out a small chuckle. "You know Sammie..." he said, looking at her innocently again and raising red flags in her mind as she recalled the last few times he had looked innocent tonight. And instantly she grew alert because she hadn't liked them at all.

He kept looking at her innocently but a hint of smirk could be seen tugging at the very edge of his lip before he continued. "...You just made it sound like I was sleeping with you."

A staggering gasp emitted from Sam's mouth at his crude statement and her face now effectively resembled well sunburned skin, the redness from her blush spreading across her cheeks like an infectious, unstoppable rash.. "In...In your dreams!" she shrieked, blushing violently as she failed in controlling her blush at all.

And he didn't help at all when he only smirked and said, "Or in yours, seeing as you are the one that suggested it."

"I didn't suggest it!" she hollered, flailing her arms like an outraged character did in an anime and making him only break out into another round of amused laugher.

"The words came out of YOUR mouth," he said accusingly when he paused in humiliating her by adding insult to her injury with his sardonic laughter.

Now desperate to shift the blame onto him to get him to stop tormenting her, Sam screamed, "You made me say them!"

Scam cocked an eyebrow and looked at her with even more interest, something that worried her and she knew exactly why when he responded to her with his smirk dancing on his lips in a very pleased way. "I have that big of a hold on you?"

The temperature of Sam's face shot up again and she found herself struggling and failing with any and every retort that she thought of trying against him "I..." she started before shaking her head and pointing a finger at him. "You..." she stopped, putting down her finger and trying again. "I...no...you're...I...this-" she stopped and took a breath now that her brain was in a hundred knots of the most complicated kind before she shot a peeved glare at him and screamed. "Just shut up!"

Scam crossed his arms over his chest and indulged himself in a long, hearty laugh, enjoying the fruits of his labour before he put his eyes back on her fuming face and smirked. "Now is that anyyyyyyyyyy way to talk to your future husband?" he drawled.

Sam felt as if her skin was going to simply melt off her face from the extent of her blush. If someone asked her to describe what she looked like right now, the only thing she could think of that even came close to her face at the moment was the flashing warning lights that were found attached to the top of ambulance cars. "You are not my husband!" she squealed.

"Not yet I'm not," he chided.

"Not now or ever!" Sam screamed, ready to rip out all her hair from sheer frustration by this point.

Scam shook his head slowly as he sat up on the mattress and faced her. "Ah, ah, ah..." he said warningly. "Remember you said if I asked to marry you, then you'd say yes," he said smiling mischievously.

Sam blinked for a second trying to remember before she shot out screaming just like before. "But I didn't say that!" she objected but Scam only shook his head no and continued looking like a sneaky schoolyard prankster who had just tricked her into giving him all her lunch money.

"Yes you did," he retaliated.

"I did not!" Sam cried, hating it, but actually sounding like the cry baby he had called her earlier on.

Scam smirked. "Liar," he muttered making her growl like an angry kitten again.

"You're a liar!" she howled, throwing his stupid, wrongful conviction right back in his face.

His smirk widened again as he let out a small sigh. "I'm not the one..." he said teasingly. "Who is taking back what I said."

Seeing what he was suggesting yet again, Sam screamed one more time, "But I didn't say it!" She complained, hoping to make him quit bothering her this time.

But he just glanced at her slowly and spoke in a condemning whisper, "There you go again."

Realizing that there was no way she was ever going to win against Scam, Sam finally gave up because she was too tired and defeated, and too tired of being defeated and looked away from him to hide her burning face as she mumbled something quietly at the floor.

"What was that?" Scam asked, watching her with renewed interest after her private mumble.

Sam looked up at him slowly and wondered if she should tell him what she'd said before she quickly decided that he really did deserve and need to hear it. "I called you an egotistical smartass," she announced in a deadpan tone making him chuckle.

"Well what do you know..." Scam said, still laughing a little as he glanced at her. "You do have a good range of vocabulary after all." Sam found herself blushing helplessly again and she slightly nodded her head and smiled at the floor where she was looking once more to hide her reaction from him.

After a few moments passed of him just laughing and her just blushing, Scam suddenly spoke to her again. "So..." he said, slightly nudging her shoulder from next to her, just barely but somehow she could tell it had been intentional and not by accident. And while she tried to figure out why he had done that, she was left stunned by his following words. "Feel better yet?"

And right then and there, any question that she had had about if he cared or not was thrown out the window. She now knew that he did, for some bizarre reason or another, care but still, she wasn't going to make anything more of this.

"No," she said shortly.

"No?" he said looking at her suspiciously and sounding unconvinced as he continued in a firm voice. "Well in case you haven't noticed...you're not crying anymore."

Sam wasn't sure if she gasped after he said that but the impact on her was no less as her eyes widened and she went rigid on her spot right when she realized that...he was right. And she was in shock because before he arrived there wasn't a moment where she could get her tears to stop no matter what she told herself and now...they were all gone. She hadn't even realized when, but her tears had stopped and to be totally honest...

She didn't even feel upset anymore. Not even in the slightest.

Knowing she couldn't tell him that though, as he was her really her enemy, Sam wiped the stunned look off her face and replaced it with a fake glare when she looked at him. "As if I would cry in front of you," she snapped.

He didn't seem bothered by her glare or her snapping at him as he let out a small chuckle. "I see," he said shortly before a yawn escaped his mouth. He stretched slightly where he sat on the bed before moving and standing up suddenly making Sam look at him curiously as she wondered what he was doing now. And she was answered just a second later.

"Well I have to run," Scam said as he picked up his leather jacket from her bed and started to put it back on. "I can't stay here all night with you."

Suddenly Sam felt her heart sink in her chest all at once. For some reason, she didn't know why, but she felt it fall down several paces just now. And then when she tried to figure out why that had happened, even though she wanted to deny the reason behind the frown that was rapidly forming on her face, it didn't take her more than a minute to know that she would have to be an idiot not to notice that it had to do with the man standing before her.

Scam...he was leaving. He had just told her he was and that made her upset even though he had been here with her for the last few hours. Any doubt she had that his leaving wasn't the reason for the renewed misery she was feeling right now faded and disappeared as soon as that thought settled in. And even though she tried to stop herself with every ounce of her self-control, Sam couldn't prevent herself from letting a small, depressed sigh slip from in between her lips.

Hearing her sigh, Scam's attention was drawn to Sam's face from where it had been on zipping up his jacket. And when he saw her face, he was surprised to find her looking so upset at the news of his departure.

"Awww," he said teasingly a second later, making her look up at him once more. When he had her attention all to himself, he continued in a mollycoddling voice. "Don't look so heartbroken Sammie," he said before his smirk made another appearance on his face as his voice dropped to a low whisper. "You can take comfort in the fact that if we were married, I'd definitely stay here all night right by your side."

Sam blushed deeply and she gave him a small glare before looking down to hide her burning face along with the traces of sorrow that she knew were still on it at the knowledge that he was leaving.

She didn't want him to figure out how badly she wanted him not to go. In fact she just wanted him to leave now before she humiliated herself for the second time today because of a man by asking him to stay longer and letting down the spy she truly was.

She had to ignore the part of her that was telling her not to care about that detail about the both of them, Scam and her, being enemies. She had to ignore it with all her effort and pretend she had succeeded even when the voice in her head that was telling her she wanted him to remain with her didn't go away. Not even for a second. Sam sealed her eyes in agony and let out a small sigh only to jump a second later when he suddenly spoke again.

"Though I do have something that will make you feel better for sure to give you before I go," he said, making her open her eyes and look back up at him slowly. And when her eyes reached his face, she looked at him with nothing but curiosity on her features.

"Oh?" She whispered quietly. "And what is that?" she asked, confusion in her voice because she knew Scam had come to kidnap her originally and so he hadn't had time to "get her" anything to make her feel better. Part of her couldn't help but wonder if he had James' severed head in a gift box somewhere but she soon dropped that thought because for one it was too evil and she really didn't want James dead, just beaten up and also because as capable as Scam was of killing someone, she was certain he wouldn't do it just to try and make her happy. She found herself bowing her head and letting out a slight sigh. He didn't see her in THAT way.

"I'm the one that had a crush on him, not vice versa," Sam thought to herself, shaking her head again at her losing streak when it came to love before suddenly pausing in her thoughts. And suddenly she noticed something. Scam... hadn't answered her question. And she was sure it had been at least a few moments since she had asked him what he was going to give her.

Curious more than ever now at his strange silence, Sam looked up at him again to see what was keeping him from answering only to have her eyes slightly widen at what he was doing.

He was just standing there before her with his eyes fixed on her face. Scam wasn't saying anything, his mouth was sealed, his lips in a straight line as he took silent breaths and just kept looking at her.

And because she was now staring straight into his eyes she could see that they were kind of darker than normal. The sea foam shade was cloudier in his gaze and from where she was standing his eyes almost looked hazy as if muddled with dare she say it...passion.

"I must be seeing things," Sam thought knowing it didn't make sense. Why would Scam EVER look at her in that way? And while she was telling herself her break-up with James had damaged her brain far more severely than she had initially realized, Sam never noticed how Scam had started to take slow steps towards her nor how the look in his eyes was a lot more obvious when he was this close.

She didn't notice anything, too caught up in her mental cursing at herself until she was suddenly pushed back on her bed and her body was falling onto the mattress.

A surprised squeal escaped her mouth as she landed and Sam blinked, about to sit up and ask him what he'd done that for when suddenly she heard the springs in her mattress make a sound again as if someone else was climbing on her bed. And in the next second, Scam had joined her. But this time instead of sitting next to her, he had crawled right on top of her and was currently leaning over her body in a push-up stance with his hands pressed down on either side of her head.

And before Sam had the chance to get over her shock and process just what was going on here, she was left jolted to her core when his mouth was suddenly upon hers in a kiss. She made a muffled sound of surprise against his lips, wondering if she was imagining this as well. But when she inhaled his familiar scent in with the shaky breath she took in through her nose and felt his heart beating against hers as he lay with his body perfectly aligned with hers, along with how every muscle in his strong, muscular body was practically enveloping her form, she knew that the kiss was real.

When that realization settled in she was unable to stop herself and her body reacted to him while her lips reacted to his kiss right away. Her mind shut itself off, turning to mush as she let out a moan, a deep, satisfied moan from the pit of her throat and returned the kiss by pushing her lips softly against his. She felt herself melt against him and the gentle kiss soon grew deeper. It didn't take long for their lips to become completely entangled with one another's like two pieces of silk thread tied in a vicious knot that was impossible to undo.

Sam fluttered her eyes and moaned harder as she felt his tongue run along her lower lip. And in the next second their tongues were indulging in each other's mouths, tasting and teasing and exploring every, last inch.

The kiss kept going as the moments passed by and Sam felt her head grow as light as a feather as fireworks appeared behind her eyelids and finally her body arched up against his with her last, remaining ounce of strength.

His lips remained on hers for just a moment longer before he at last pulled away from her mouth. Scam took shallow breaths as he remained on top of her, and staring up at him with half-closed, darkened eyes and with her heart thundering like a wild storm in her chest, Sam breathed in deep, rough pants of air.

When he finally caught his breath some moments later, Scam gave her a small smirk with his nose still brushing hers gently and he spoke in a husky yet firm whisper. "...A feel better kiss…." he said lowly, with his breath caressing her face as he looked down at her with intentful eyes. "Exactly what I'd give you if we were married and you had a bad day…"

Sam took in another shaky breath as she watched him with, unblinking eyes.

"Feel better?" he asked for the second time tonight but this time she couldn't lie. In fact she couldn't bring herself to say anything and so she just lay there under him breathing hard and looking up at him speechlessly in defeat.

The small smirk on his face widened as he watched her with satisfied, knowing eyes and let out one last whisper. "...I'll take that as a yes," he said before getting off of her and standing up from the bed.

And within the next minute he had slipped out of the window from which he had come and was gone from her room.

Having heard his feet land after his jump outside, Sam sat up on the mattress. Getting up quickly she walked to the window with shaky knees and glanced out, looking for Scam. Then when her eyes landed on him, she watched him as he walked away, disappearing into the shadows of the night.

Unconsciously, her hand moved up and slowly she touched her lips. The second her fingertips brushed against her mouth she was able to easily feel how it was still hot from his.

And as she felt her heart refuse to calm down and her blush remain glued to her face, she suddenly smiled a small smile of private understanding to herself as only one thought ran through her mind as clear as the sun shining on a bright, sunny day after a long, dark rainstorm.

And she quietly whispered to herself...

"James was never the man I wanted anyway…"


Yep that's it! I just wrote this out because this scenario would NOT leave me alone lol.

I have wondered over it often what would happen if Scam was to know of James and what he did to Sam. And to be honest, if I owned Totally Spies then this is exactly how I would have addressed Sam's break-up with James, with a healthy dose of Scam to make it all better. :P

Should there be a sequel to this? I don't know really if there should be more. There could be since I'm seeing that there is potential to it but I'm not sure about one. So if you read this and liked it and maybe want a sequel please let me know and I'd be happy to try my hand at one. :D

Anyway please review. I know this fandom and more specifically, Sam/Scam has not so many humour fics, so if I am any good at them I'll definitely write more. It's seriously up to you guys lol. :)

I hope I got at least someone to laugh while reading this. If so, then my goal has been reached. :D

One last thing. I know this is not one of my longness oneshots but one of those is coming up SOON! (and it's long, long I tell you! XD)

Okay I will stop adding to the length of this with my blabbering. Review please to make me happy? :) Pwease? :P

Thanks and Loveeeeeee,

Cresenta's Lark XD