Hello! I'm very sorry about the wait for this one. It was written weeks ago, but RL got in the way for pretty much everyone involved in this little story. I hope you'll forgive me...
First things first, I made it past 150 reviews! It wouldn't have been possible without babylopez2008, who took the time to review each chapter when she stumbled upon my fic. But, it wasn't just one person who made it possible, it was ALL OF YOU. Also, I was very excited to see reviews from readers that it was their first time reviewing. From the depths of my heart - thank you.
Chapter 13 is partially written, once you get to the end of this one, I'm sure you'll understand why its taking me a bit to get it written. The storm has arrived, my friends.
Preread by BubblyGreenBubbles and EveryDayBella89
Beta'd by the lovely Nuttyginger
Chapter 12 Heavy
I smiled wide as the wind whipped through my hair, freeing me as I urged my horse forward. This retired thoroughbred, Henry, was not as sweet as my old Mrs. Gray that I worked with in equine therapy, but he was fast. I'd missed the uninhibited feeling of just me and the horse, and the open land. I faintly heard the sound of my name, so I gently slowed Henry down.
"Woah, good boy." I purred.
I waited as Rose caught up to me. She was riding a beautiful Appaloosa mare that had a wild mind of her own, just like Rose.
I hadn't known that Rose rode until earlier this morning when she'd asked me to go to the ranch with her for a therapy session. Her therapist, Nahuel, was a gentle man; very kind and quiet. Much different from Rose herself, but she seemed to adore him.
"This is fun," I mused.
I turned my face toward the sun and closed my eyes. At that moment, everything was right in the world. Despite the fact that my father was a childish asshole, I had an amazing boyfriend, supportive friends, and I'd begun to piece together the puzzle that was my mind. I'd never felt more alive as the sun beamed down on my face, and the cool autumn breeze tousled my hair.
I opened my eyes and looked at Rose. She had dismounted from her horse and signaled that I should do the same. We walked over to where Nahuel was seated beneath a large juniper tree and sat down. I sat there expectantly, not knowing exactly why I was there. I watched as Rose fidgeted with her hands before she stuck them under her legs and began.
"I asked you here today, Bella, because I know you've been going through a lot."
I slowly nodded.
Rose blew out a breath, and continued. "I feel like it's unfair of you to share so much of your life with me, and I not do the same in return. I choose not to tell people my story, because it's none of their business. Alice and Emmett are the only ones at the academy who know about my past and what I've been through."
I glanced at Nahuel as he patted her leg, urging her to continue. It was a bit unnerving to see Rose so vulnerable, but I sat quietly as I waited for her to go on.
"My dad left mom and I when I was ten. He was a total fuck to my mom, but he was a pretty good dad to me. At first I was sad, like any normal child would be, but then I became angry. As I grew older I rebelled, got caught up in drugs, and even lived on the streets for months. Between my father and I, we destroyed my mom." Rose thought for a moment before she laughed darkly. "I've seen and done things you would never believe."
I shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. I looked to Nahuel for guidance. He smiled softly at me before turning to Rose.
"You're doing great, Rosalie." His voice warm and full of encouragement.
Rose looked down at her hands, and I noticed she was trembling. "I had a heroin addiction. The worst addiction there is – completely horrific. I've had sex with disgusting men for a single hit. I've slept in alleyways where you could hear the rats rummaging through dumpsters – too strung out to even care."
My stomach rolled as I painted a picture in my mind of what Rose had described. I saw a single tear fall down her face and it broke the dam in my own eyes.
"I was considered a runaway, only being sixteen, and I was finally picked up one day by the police. I'd shoplifted a bagel at the grocery store. I'll never forget the look on my mother's face when she first saw me down at the police station."
Rose furiously wiped away the tears from her face, and I could tell it killed her to be seen like this. I scooted closer to her and held her hand as she finished her story.
"My mom asked if I wanted to get help, and I agreed. I went through an excruciating detox at the hospital before I was sent to the academy." Her voice became stronger, filled with pride. "I'll be leaving soon. I'm not sure when, but I can tell that it's almost time." She looked at Nahuel fondly.
"How do you know? How do you know that you're ready to face the outside world or that you won't relapse?"
Rose looked at me with fire in her eyes. "I don't know how I know, I just do. I feel ready to move on from this chapter in my life. As far my addiction goes, every time I have a craving I see my mother's face. I see her face from that day in the police station, when she saw me for the first time in months. Dirty, strung out, bruised, and broken. I never want to be the cause of that devastation ever again."
Nahuel cleared his throat and I looked to him. "I think Rosalie had a reason why she wanted to share this with you."
Rose nodded. "I know what your dad did was fucked up, B, and I know you have a fuck ton of money now. You're also eighteen, which means you can leave the academy whenever you damn well please. A lot of kids would have left by now, but you haven't. I want to urge you to stay until you're ready. Don't let Edward make that decision for you – don't let your mom or Angela make that decision. Only you will know when it's time."
I nodded, not knowing what to say to that.
"You've been given the opportunity to find out who you are, or at least begin that journey in a safe environment. Don't throw it away. Had I not been given a second chance, I'm fairly certain I'd be dead by now." Rose threw her arm around me and hugged me into her side. I squeezed back tightly.
"Thank you for sharing with me." I smiled and let go.
"Definitely. I worry about the path you could take, and I care about you too much to watch you make a horrible mistake."
Rose lightly smacked Nahuel's knee. "I did a hell of a lot better that time, huh?" She looked at me. "Don't ask Alice how it went when I told her."
I pretended to lock my lips and throw away the key.
Nahuel laughed. "You did great Rosalie. Thank you, Bella, for coming with us today."
Rose and I mounted our horses as we promised to meet Nahuel back at the van in a half hour, after we un-tacked the horses and set them out to pasture.
After my session with Rose, I felt an almost sisterly bond with her. It was like she was looking out for me in a way. I'd never had a friend care for me like that, and it was heartwarming to say the least. Between things with Edward, my mom, and now Rose, I'd never felt more loved in my life. Had I known the shit storm that was about to rain down on me, I would have savored the moment a bit longer.
My beautiful girl,
I've been thinking about you all day. Please come see me tonight?
I folded up the short note to Bella and stuck it in my pocket for later. I didn't have time to write much more, but she'd understand.
I knew that she was at the ranch with Rose for a therapy session, which I thought was pretty bad ass. I'd never been involved in a joint therapy session like that, but that's most likely because my boys and I were tight enough to talk without our therapists around. Although, I knew that Rose has been through a fuck ton, and if it was easier for her to talk about things with the support of her therapist, I respected that.
I snuck up to the atrium, and pulled the note out of my pocket. I checked to make sure no one was around, and I slipped it under the table in Bella's spot. It was only a half-hour until dinner, and I figured it'd be safe until then. I made my way back to the boy's common room and sat down. Most of the guy's were in here watching the show 'Lost.' One of the male staff brought in all the seasons on DVD and practically everyone but me was obsessed. I truly didn't give a fuck about TV shows.
I pretended to pay attention, but my thoughts drifted back to Bella as they usually did. She'd written me a note telling me about the letter she'd received from her stepmom upon our return from Park City.
Her dad was a fucking douche.
Regardless of the money, who the fuck did he think he was? If Bella lived in my home, I could tell you right fucking now I would never tell her leave and never come back. Bella is…
She's kind, caring, understanding, and witty as fuck. Her big brown doe eyes, soft chocolate curls, and her tiny little body were enough to bring me to my knees. She still looked young, but her mind and heart were that of a middle-aged woman.
Bella knew what she wanted and when she wanted it. She'd been through some shit, and she was still the strongest person I'd ever known. Without her, I'd have no reason to try. I watched her make leaps and bounds in her program each day, and it made me want to work twice as hard on myself. I want to be worthy of her, not some broken loser that she has to constantly piece together.
Bella deserved more.
I'd fielded questions from the guys about our weekend for days – everyone wanted to know every little personal detail. I'd refused to give anything up, which means I was labeled 'pussy whipped.' I was cool with that – proud of it.
Now, I'd told Bella I was a virgin – which was true, but the guys don't know that. They mostly think I was a 'playboy' of sorts back home. Which, I was I guess. It also didn't help that I may've made up a story about my last visit to Park City with my parents. I'd said I met some girl there who was also vacationing with her parents, and we boned. Truth was I spent the entire trip skiing with my Dad and arguing with my Mom about coming home. There was no girl, and I felt like a douche now for having even made the story up. If Bella found out…
I'd be a dead man.
Honestly, I'd never been close enough to a girl to consider going that far. When you have sex with a chick, they get clingy. It's a fact. Or, I'd just never met a girl I didn't think would want more afterward. I avoided the inevitable, which in the long run, I'm so glad I did. Having Bella as my first was more than anything I could've ever expected.
Admittedly, I did ask Jasper for some advice. He told me to keep my expectations low – that the first time for every guy is embarrassing, as it's an entirely new feeling. Regardless of my endurance,I knew that Bella enjoyed it. I was nervous that she might've freaked out given her past, but she did so well. She trusted me and that was something I was proud of. Out of any guy she could have chosen, she chose me. That was something special.
Before I knew it, I'd made it through dinner in a daydream. Emmett was in therapy during dinner, which left Jasper and I at our usual table. Jasper didn't say much, but I'm sure he could tell I wasn't in the mood to talk either.
After dinner, Jasper went to therapy, and Emmett and I played a game of basketball while the girls were watching a movie in their common room. Although, Bella and Rose used every chance they could get to sneak out of the common room, just so they could catch a peek of us. They were hilarious trying to be sneaky and shit.
During the last round of bathroom breaks for the girls, I mouthed to Bella a silent "I love you" from across the room that didn't get past Emmett.
"It seems things with you and Bella have gotten pretty serious," Emmett mused.
I went around for a lay-up and scored as Emmett came in for the rebound. I put my hands on my hips as I caught my breath and nodded. "Yeah, I think they are. She's a great girl. Haven't you already asked me this?"
He ignored my question.
"Rose told me what her Dad did. He's a prick." He shot the ball, and missed.
"He's an idiot, that's what he is. She's not someone you just throw away, you know? She's special." I heard Emmett stop behind me. I grabbed the basketball and threw it back to him. He caught it, but just stood there staring at me. "Do you think you're ready to take on someone with problems like Bells? Dude, you've been here awhile, but… we both know you still got some shit to work out."
I scoffed. "Who are you to judge whether my relationship is healthy or not? I've never said a word about you and Rose – it's not my place."
Emmett held the ball to his hip and put one hand up in surrender. "I didn't mean it like that. You know we've all come to care about Bella, and you know I've always got your back. But, Bella just got here. She needs to focus on her own program, rather than trying to fix you. It's not fair."
I glared at him. "I'm fine."
It was his turn to scoff now. "I know we don't talk about shit much – that's you and Jasper's thing, but I see shit. I consider us best friends; I know you're not fine."
Not answering that, I motioned for him to throw me the ball. I walked to the three-point line and swooshed it. Emmett rebounded, but held onto the ball.
"All I'm trying to say is that you should deal with your shit, man. You want to be the best you can be for Bella, right?"
I nodded, slightly.
Emmett sighed. "If you won't do it for yourself, at least do it for her."
Nothing more was said between us as we continued on with our game. I'm sure he thought I'd ignored most of what he said, but I didn't. His words continued to eat at me well into the night, because he was right. He was so fucking right. My girl deserved a lot more than what I had to offer, and I was willing to go to the depths of my fears to be that guy for her.
Angela will be so thrilled.
I smirked. She's spent a whole year trying to get me to open up, and Bella comes here and does it in two months.
The guys and I got ready for bed and waited for the girls to sneak over after lights out. They were never quiet, so it was obvious when they would open the door that joined our dorms, and snuck in. It was cute watching them think they were so sneaky, and none of us had the heart to tell them they were loud as fuck.
Bella lifted the covers and climbed in, practically jumping on me. The first thing I noticed though, were her feet.
"You're feet are fucking freezing, Bella." I hissed.
She giggled. "Oops, sorry."
I knew she wasn't sorry because she continued to rub her feet in between my calves to warm them.
"You're lucky I love you."
Bella rolled over on top of me, her hair creating a curtain around our faces. "I know."
I brought my mouth up to claim hers, and she kissed me back with more force than usual. I could feel her desire in that kiss, and it only awakened my own desire, and my cock.
I wasn't sure what the protocol would be once we were back at the academy. Bella and I hadn't discussed whether we would repeat the night in my room in Park City, but by the way she was kissing me and grinding on me, I think it was safe to say Bella was more than willing to have sex again.
I grabbed her ass, and she moaned as she pressed her center right where I wanted it most. It was already much different than last time. The slow and sweet was left behind for the want and need, and she seemed more than willing to take what she wanted.
"I've missed you," she whispered trailing kisses down my neck. I quietly moaned as she stopped at my collar-bone to bite lightly. It drove me crazy, and she knew it. My little hellcat was so perceptive.
Bella may not have experience in the bedroom – neither did I – but she was sexy as fuck. She liked to take the lead, and I'd come to realize that had something to do with her need to be in control. I was cool with that. I wanted nothing more than for Bella to feel comfortable.
"I've missed you, too." I moved my hand to lightly graze over her pussy through her pants. She moaned, loudly. "You have to be quiet. We're not alone, remember?" I quietly reminded.
She nodded, and with the next pass, she bit down on my shoulder to silence her cries. I could feel how wet she was through her boy shorts.
I dipped my hand beneath her panties and circled around her clit before delving one finger knuckle deep inside her. Her breathing hitched, and she bit down on my shoulder, again. I had a feeling this was going to become a problem. I couldn't exactly walk around the showers, or play basketball, with bite marks all over me.
"Bella, baby, you can't bite me." I continued to finger fuck her, adding another finger as she rocked her pussy against my hand.
"I'm s-sorry… it feels good. Touch me here." She moved my thumb to press against her clit, and I felt her shiver on top of me. It took everything I had not to blow my load right then. I thought girls were shy about that shit?
Not my girl.
Bella continued to practically fuck my hand. I did exactly as she asked, rubbing her clit until I heard her grind her teeth, a little moan escaping through, as her pussy clamped down around my fingers. She milked my hand, riding out each sensation, and I shivered as she put pressure on my dick with each movement.
I won't lie, my dick throbbed, and I couldn't believe that had just happened.
Bella was the sexiest fucking thing I'd ever encountered in my eighteen years of life.
I removed my hand from Bella's panties, and she scooted down quickly as she tried to release me from my shorts. I swear to all that is holy, my cock was milliseconds away from being in the comfort of her tiny little hands, when the light to our dorm suddenly turned on. Bella jumped so fast, that she nailed her head on the top of the bunk. Like an idiot, I reached to comfort her, but she practically hissed at me as she kicked my hand away.
"Rose, put some fucking clothes on, and get back to your dorm! Bella and Alice – you too." Lauren yelled at them.
I sat up and grabbed Bella's hand before she could leave.
"It'll be ok. I love you," I promised.
Bella looked terrified as I saw the tears already streaming down her face. She whispered, "I love you," before she scurried off the bed and back to her dorm.
Lauren stormed through our dorm, after the girls, and slammed the door that joined our rooms behind them. I looked back to where Demetri, our male staff, stood.
"Sorry, man. One of the girls tipped her off about your arrangement, and Lauren stayed late to see if was true. There wasn't anything I could do." He genuinely looked sorry.
I ran my hand through my hair and nodded. He gave me a sad smile and shut our door.
Before I could even begin to process the cluster fuck that was the last three minutes, I felt a pillow smack me in the head.
"Ow. What the fuck?" I turned to look at Emmett, who glared at me from across the room in his bunk.
"You do realize that we're all going to be on standing order now – most likely for the duration of our time at the academy. That means new roommates, and no girlfriends. Great job, fucktard."
I scoffed. "How the fuck was I supposed to know that would happen? You guys were just as much involved as I was."
"Yeah, well, it was your plan. So, it's your fault." He growled.
I ignored him as I watched Jasper climb off his bunk and walk over to turn off the lights. He showed no emotion and that made me nervous.
"Both of you shut the fuck up and go to sleep," He shut the light off and no one said another word.
I didn't sleep at all, and judging from the sounds of the other guys tossing and turning all night, neither did they. I spent most of the fucking night trembling, as I wondered how the fuck Bella and I would make it without being allowed contact. We could pass notes, but that was it. No more art club, definitely no more sneaking to each others dorms, and I was sure the visit to Park City would be the only trip away we would get.
My world had come crashing down, and I didn't know which way was up or down. Without Bella, I was nothing. On top of all that…
Angela was going to fucking kill me.
I've pulled stunts before, and I knew that this would be the last straw with her. I'd sealed our fate with a kiss.
But, sometime in the early morning, I had an idea.
Bella and I were legally adults. Which meant we could leave the academy any fucking time we wanted.
Bella had all that money…
We could leave. Start somewhere new on our own, together. I knew if I asked Bella to leave, she would do it. She loved me, and I was sure she wouldn't want to stay here if we had the option to be together, really together, out in the real world.
I got up that morning with a smile on my face and ignored the questioning looks from Jasper and Emmett. I knew that we would be pulled into our therapists offices first thing, and I even began packing up my shit, just to make it easier later.
Sure enough, as we waited for the girls to finish breakfast, I heard Angela call my name.
"I'm not happy with you, Edward," She scolded.
I followed her into her office where Bella sat. She had bags under eyes, and her hair was a mess on top of her head. I wanted to comfort her, tell her everything would be fine, but I didn't want Angela to rip my fucking balls off either. I sat next to Bella, but Angela moved me to sit in her chair, and she sat next to Bella. I rolled my eyes at the dramatics.
"You both have got to be kidding me. The disrespect of your actions is appalling." Angela fumed. "I allowed the joint visit to Park City, because I believed in you two. I wanted you to get to know each other outside of here, in the real world as you all call it. It's obvious you have a connection, I won't deny it, but my hands are tied here. I could lose my job if I didn't issue a standing order."
I watched as Bella hiccupped, and tears streamed down her face, her hands a trembling mess.
"There won't be a need for a standing order," I said firmly.
Angela quirked an eyebrow at me, but I ignored her. I stood from my chair and kneeled before Bella, and grasped her trembling hands with my own.
"Leave with me, Bella. We don't have to stay here, we can start a new life – together." I whispered.
I heard Angela gasp. "Edward! You have no right to put her in that position. Are you out of your damn mind?"
I ignored her as I held firm at Bella's feet. She stared into my eyes, tears falling uncontrollably, when she finally shook her head.
She's saying no.
I became frantic as I wiped her tears from her face, and I could feel my own threatening to spill over. "Bella, please," I begged.
"I'm not ready, Edward," She whispered.
I grabbed both sides of her face, and ignored that she flinched away from me, just barely. "You're so strong, baby. You're more ready than I am. We'll figure it out together, but we can't stay here. I can't be here and not be allowed to talk to you. I can't."
"It won't be that bad, we'll be—"
"NO!" I yelled.
Bella cringed away from me and started to sob.
I felt Angela's hand on my arm, but I yanked it away.
"Edward, it's not right of you to put Bella in this position," She said softly.
I stood up as anger ripped through me. "If you loved me, you'd leave." I pointed at her and it broke my heart to watch her fall apart. I knew it was a shitty move, but it was true. If she loved me as much as she said she did, she would leave.
"I do love you! I do! So much… please don't do this," Bella screamed at me.
I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't. Her betrayal was too much for me in that moment.
"I'm leaving with or without you," I said firmly.
"Edward, calm down," Angela said softly.
"No!" I growled. "Are you coming or not?" I stared at Bella, who wouldn't meet my gaze. Finally, she shook her head no, and I felt as if my heart had literally exploded in my chest.
I left Angela's office so fast that I didn't hear Bella's heart-wrenching sobs and pleas for me to come back.
I ran out the front door of the Academy into the late September sunshine. I kept running, nowhere in particular, just wherever my feet took me. I constantly wiped my face, erasing the emotions that had escaped my traitorous eyes.
Bella didn't give a fuck about me. To be honest, I didn't give a fuck about me, either.
I made my decision quickly, and turned for the grocery store on the corner. I went up to customer service, who looked at me like I'd grown five fucking heads when I asked to use the phone, but she handed it over anyway. I dialed the number from memory, and it took everything I had not to fall a part as soon as heard her voice.
"Esme Cullen, speaking."
"Mom, I need a plane ticket home."
Um, hi. I hope you'll stick with me, kay? Have faith.
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