Author's note: Everything in unbetaed, all mistakes are my own and whoever finds them gets to keep them... or you could tell me about them and I'll correct them.
This is basically a one-shot, but there will be a bonus chapter with Dean and Castiel as soon as I get around to writing it.
Edit: Now beta-read by the wonderful Ghastly Eternity! And thanks so much to midnight0211 for drawing the cover picture!
Once upon a time…
"You just had to upset her, didn't you?" Sam yelled at the archangel. Gabriel didn't even really realize that his partner was seriously mad at him because the human would have had to yell to be heard over the distance, anyway.
"You couldn't just be nice and keep your mouth shut for once in your fucking life!" the younger Winchester went on yelling. Luckily, he couldn't see Gabriel's completely unfazed expression all too clearly from his place up in the tower.
Sam snorted and looked around the room he was trapped in, but couldn't see anything that might help him to escape on second sight, either. There was no door and no other windows. He might have been able to do something with the bed sheets, if the tower hadn't been quite that high. Other than that there was only a basket with fresh fruit and very basic furniture.
"Eris overreacted!" Gabriel yelled back from his place at the foot of the tower, forming a cone with his hands for effect, "What's to misunderstand about 'It's been nice, you're a great girl. Good bye'? Okay, she didn't get it, but that's hardly my fault! Not to mention that it's been over a hundred years since that one night!"
Maybe there had been a serious misunderstanding, but that was on Eris herself. Gabriel had never made her believe that he'd call or show up again. No, really!
Apparently, Sam thought that the archangel shared some of the blame at least, though. The apple that had just barely missed Gabriel's head was a rather clear message.
"Will you get your ass up here and get me down anytime soon? No need to hurry or anything, the view is great!" the younger Winchester yelled, trying to be sarcastic while still yelling at the top of his lungs which wasn't quite as easy as it sounded.
The archangel chuckled, looking up toward his trapped partner. He had to say that Sam looked quite good framed by the window and with the blue sky in the background. Like a princess straight out of a fairytale. Not that the shorter man would tell the younger Winchester about that thought. Not yet, anyway.
"The view from down here isn't all that bad either, Samsquatch," he called instead, but not quite loud enough for the human to hear what he had just said. He really didn't want to risk a banana to the head.
"I didn't hear that!" Sam shouted. The archangel hadn't made it all too obvious if he had simply forgotten that the human couldn't hear quite as good as he could, or if he had spoken too silently on purpose. The younger Winchester was already trying to decide about which fruit to throw next just in case.
"I said I can't get up there that easily!" Gabriel yelled, loud enough for Sam to hear this time, "Remember TV-land?"
The pear that grazed his ear was a good enough answer to that question.
"Eris might have learned a couple of things from me back in the day," the archangel went on yelling, holding his arms over his head defensively, "And before you throw the entire basket consider the fact that you have to eat eventually!"
The younger Winchester put the fruit basket back on the table with a groan. For a split second he considered throwing the table instead, but it was doubtful that he could fit that through the window. Also, that seemed a little too extreme. He wanted to express annoyance not murderous intent.
"So she trapped us in an alternate reality?" Sam yelled his question, even though he pretty much knew the answer to that already.
It made sense, too. Everything, from the furniture in the room to the landscape he could see from the window, didn't feel quite real or as if it was out of another time, at least. There was nothing but woods as far as he could see, the sky was too blue and the birds were singing a little too much in sync with each other. Like they were forming a choir, actually.
"Fairytale land, I guess," Gabriel shouted back and then added with a bright grin, "Which makes you Rapunzel!"
The fact that he had to eat eventually didn't keep Sam from taking aim at Gabriel with a peach. All of this was his fault and now he was making stupid jokes, too! The younger Winchester had more or less gotten used to being the punchline of a joke every now and then ever since he had decided to give the archangel a chance, but this was too much for the human!
"Oh yeah? And you should be with Snowwhite!" the tall human shouted lamely, but he couldn't think of anything better to save his life.
"Nah, I'll rather be your prince charming," Gabriel replied nonchalantly and ducked when a shoe came flying his way.
Things had clearly gone too far here and the archangel could not tolerate this any longer!
"Hey, you stop undressing without me this instant!" he yelled his demand and – predictably – had the second shoe thrown his way for it, too.
Gabriel shrugged. He'd just have to get up there then. Luckily, the fairytale gave him a pretty good clue as to how he could manage that.
The archangel cleared his throat noisily before he shouted, "Samsquatch, Samsquatch, let down your hair!"
Without the extremely good eyesight all angels possessed Gabriel wouldn't have seen the human flip him off, but it only amused him, anyway. He had expected a reaction like this, really.
"Oof!" Sam suddenly exclaimed, as if all air had been punched from his lungs suddenly.
"Sammy, are you okay?" the archangel called worriedly and tried to fly up the tower once more. Predictably, it still didn't work and his partner kept disturbingly silent for a few more moments, too. "Sam, talk to me, dammit!"
"I… yeah… everything's good," the human called back in a tone of voice that didn't sound like he was completely okay at all. At least he was talking, however.
"One stupid comment, Gabe, just one…" Sam started a threat before he came back to the window. He didn't have to finish speaking for the archangel to know exactly what he was getting at. There were a couple of things the younger Winchester could take from his partner that would hurt him, but the way Sam had spoken gave away that he was talking about cutting him off from any sort of physical interaction for a length of time.
"Okay, okay, I promise!" Gabriel stated honestly. He wouldn't risk that! … again.
Sam sighed deeply, but revealed what had just happened to him, finally. The archangel felt like he'd die on the spot from all the things he absolutely wasn't allowed to say, that very moment.
"This is entirely your fault!" the younger Winchester yelled with a bitchface that suited him better than it had ever before.
"Yes, baby, it is," Gabriel agreed, nodding dutifully and trying with all his might not to laugh out loud.
Sam grumbled, but gathered the extra feet – lots and lots of extra feet – of his hair together and slung it around a conveniently placed hook in the wall before he let it fall down toward his partner. Little surprisingly, his hair was exactly long enough to reach the bottom of the tower. The younger Winchester wasn't sure if he had ever felt more ridiculous.
"I think you hair might have grown a little," the archangel commented seconds later. Sam had to give him a little credit for trying to remain silent, he just had to! Besides, the human surely wouldn't want him to explode from holding everything in. Sam was the one that always wanted them to talk things over, anyway.
The younger Winchester really felt the urge to find something to throw again, but he was sort of tied to the wall that very moment. All thoughts about punishing the archangel left his mind when Gabriel started to climb up the walls of the tower using his hair for a rope, though.
"Goddamn, that hurts!" the younger Winchester yelped and grabbed his hair to try and lessen the pull on his scalp.
"Rapunzel never complained. Women really are the tougher sex," the archangel quipped while continuing to climb upward. He was trying not to pull too hard, but given the task at hand that was pretty much impossible.
"Maybe her prince wasn't a sugar addict," Sam commented scathingly.
"Are you saying I'm fat?" Gabriel shot back outraged and finally managed to grip the ledge of the window, relieving his poor partner of having to carry his weight with his hair.
"I'm just saying that it hurt like a bitch," the younger Winchester admitted. Having a fully grown – or somewhat fully grown – adult hanging from his scalp hadn't been good for his mood, but now that that was over he was just happy to have the archangel with him again.
"Poor, poor Sammy," Gabriel cooed as he rubbed the human's abused scalp gently. Just to make the younger Winchester feel better – completely selflessly and without any ulterior motives, of course – he also nipped and sucked on his neck until Sam was as relaxed as he would get under the circumstances. "All better now?"
"I'd be better, if you told me how we're going to get out of this," the younger Winchester replied, speaking in a soft tone, though. He had had this unproven theory that the archangel was releasing some sort of pheromone that might or might not come from his invisible wings when he was around him. That would explain how Sam basically always was putty in his hands even if seconds before he had been seriously mad.
"Uh, Eris will calm down eventually, I guess?" Gabriel shrugged lightly, "But in the meantime we can try to climb down the tower the way I came up, if that'll make you happier."
The archangel produced a pair of scissors – apparently, only a few of his abilities were blocked completely – and cut Sam's hair off at around shoulder length, tying the now loose hair to the hook.
"You couldn't have thought of this before you tortured my scalp, could you?" the younger Winchester snorted, but to be fair, he hadn't thought of the possibility himself, either. Sometimes it just was too easy to blame Gabriel for about everything, though.
The archangel simply shrugged and looked at his human considering their options.
"We could also stay here," he stated with a grin, waggling his eyebrows as he spoke on, "There's a perfectly good bed right there."
"Gabe," Sam groaned. It wasn't the sort of groan the archangel would have liked to hear most that very moment, however.
"Come on, think about it!" Gabriel insisted, stroking his partner's cheek softly, "When do we ever get any alone-time without another monster waiting around the next corner?"
That actually was something the younger Winchester considered for a couple of seconds. The archangel was right, after all. It didn't look like them staying here for a little while could do any harm, really. Also, if some evil witch showed up, they could always just do what they generally did with evil witches.
"And maybe," Gabriel went on, running the fingers of his other hand over the younger Winchester's chest, "She'll get pissed at us for not being pissed and throw us back into the real world."
Again, it sounded logical, even if the archangel was just making a point for getting it on in a fairytale for the sake of getting it on. He still might be right and the trickster goddess might choose that her punishment wasn't working the way she wanted… and Sam realized that he was just trying to find a reason to go along with anything his partner wanted, so he might as well stop thinking about it at all.
"I'm giving this until sundown," the younger Winchester announced and got the legs of one very happy and excited archangel wrapped around his waist, instantly.
All of this was still completely Gabriel's fault, but it wasn't like Sam was complaining anymore.